Filippo X Elia - Blog Posts

jasmineslonghair

3 years ago

📂📂📂📂idc what u write about i just want some elippo angst !! cause i love being in pain!

The first time Elia and Filippo break up, it’s about ten months into their.. whatever. The whatever is because Filippo absolutely refuses to label what they have as a relationship or a friendship or even a hookup-manship. Elia exists solely as his… well as Elia. And he’s content with the whatever it is, as it stands. No rules, no exclusivity, nothing to add weight to the idea of permanence, of ownership. He’s perfectly content to ride out their intense connection for as long as they can as is.

Elia thought he was fine with that for a long time. He was delighted that he could have Filippo whenever he wanted, but also felt no pressure to refrain from experimenting, to see and flirt and kiss pretty girls and pretty boys whenever he wanted. It also didn’t hurt that often he and Filippo were in it together, pointing out pretty young things for the other to seduce. A sort of modern romantic game.

But then the weeks and months pass, and Elia is now spending more time in Filippo’s bed than his own. His phone is now full of silly pictures of Filippo and texts to Filippo and texts about Filippo and well-

Elia is tired of this nebulous thing.

It’s easy to him. He wants Filippo and he hasn’t wanted anyone else for a long time. (To be quite honest, he doesn’t think that he’s ever really wanted anyone else since meeting him.)

So he begins to broach the topic of a real, real relationship. First as a joke when they’re both drunk off their asses and climbing each other on the bed (”just think, this could be yours and only yours… what do you say?”) The next time is over a random text conversation (”I was thinking we could do like a couples vacation with Martinico?”)

Finally, Elia brings out the big guns. He dresses nicely and cooks a good dinner with all of Filippo’s favorite things (things he knows because believe it or not, he knows almost everything about Filippo and he knows Filippo knows all of this about him too). He opens wine and lets is breathe and greets a wary Filippo with a kiss when he walks through the door.

It takes almost every ounce of courage in Elia to do it. To air all of his wants and dreams and hopes for them as a couple on the table. To look intimidating, strong Filippo in the eye and know that he might be costing himself the greatest relationship he’s ever had. But he does it because he knows that they could be so much more than they are. The same, but stronger. Better.

So he lays it all out.

And Filippo remains silent. Wine glass clenched in his hands, coffee-brown eyes averted. When he finally does speak, his voice is hoarse and simple, “I can’t… I can’t do this. We work just how we are. Don’t complicate things. Please, Elia. Just leave it alone.”

Elia thinks he can hear his heart actually break. He wonders if Filippo can hear it too.

But the thing is, he loves Filippo more than he ever thought he could love anyone, but he also knows that he can’t do this anymore. He can’t bask in this relationship, immerse himself in this love, if Filippo already had one foot out the door.

So Elia sniffs, and gently gets up from the table and walks out the door.