RAHH I’ve Had This Pain In My Back Right Ribs For Days Now And It’s Making Walking So Painful 😔

Out of 53kg jail barely, although I’m happy I’ve atleast lost a little weight I’ve been losing so slowly and I’m constantly disappointed and scared that I won’t lose enough weight by my deadline. I need a tapeworm to eat away half of my body weight or something.

Does anyone have any tips on what to do after a huge painful binge besides purging/taking laxatives and walking/exercising? I’m specifically looking for ways to debloat / minimise the discomfort and ways to feel better emotionally.

Also if anyone has any ideas on how to prevent future binges triggered by hanging out with friends, that would be greatly appreciated !!

I’ve done almost everything to debloat today if I don’t wake up at least a kilo lighter i genuinely may go jump in front of a bus

I’m taking a break from laxatives starting tonight and I’m so anxious because they’ve been my lifeline but I gotta do what I gotta do 😔

Life may be shit and I may be failing at both my job and education but atleast I got my bffs and the sense of control from restriction to keep me going 💪💪

God I miss charcuterie boards

It’s really hit me over the past couple days how much my disordered eating has taken over my life, it’s like I no longer have a personal life outside of it. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep all I can think about is food and weight, I spend my days inside rather rotting in my bed scrolling through ED content or I’m walking for hours on end, waiting for tomorrow to come to see if I’m any closer to my GW. I don’t have any hobbies and I self isolate, going days without talking to anyone besides my immediate family.

I don’t even know how to feel, it’s like I don’t feel anything at all. I’m honestly pretty ambivalent to it, in retrospect it’s depressing but like Im still fat, it’s only been 7 weeks since I relapsed and I don’t feel like I’m sick enough, I still have so far to go and so much to lose.

Guys fhis is a new low, not only did I spend yesterday and today binging because I was with my friend but when I tried to purge it up just now I missed the toilet bowl and projectile vomited all over my bathroom (didn’t even get much up anyways so it was a waste of time).

I’m so done, I don’t even know what to do at this point I’m just so ashamed. I want this all to stop I want someone to help me but I can’t bring myself to ask for help because I’m too fat and not sick enough to warrant even needing any help. My only hope is death, but I don’t want to die fat, but I can’t keep living like this.

Got a sugar free drink instead of the 300 calorie one I wanted #miserablebutlockedin