The Silence After Hitting Your Gw But Still Feeling So Big And Disgusting

And to no one’s surprise I did binge to the point of sickness with my friend. At this point I’m not even upset just disappointed, I mean I do this literally every time I reach a new lw and/or hang out with friends.

Im even more worried too bevause my friend is having a 3 day long birthday hang out sleepover thing and if I can’t even control myself in this situation I don’t know how im gonna do in that.

Thankfully I got 20k+ steps today so at least a small bit of it is burned, and I’m gonna take the rest of my laxative stash. Hopefully that gets rid of some of the water weight, I doubt I will weigh myself at all for the next couple days.

I think I’m gonna try liquid/water fast tomorrow and Monday and just hope for the best for the rest of the week.

God now that I am actually thinking about it I’m starting to get more and more upset at myself, I can’t believe I lost all my control just like that. I don’t know how im gonna look at myself in the mirror when I have a shower.

oh my god and I just remembered that im going to the doctors tomorrow and they might weigh me, what if I gain from eating so much today, I wanted to be underweight by the time I got weighed by a doctor again, how the fuck am I going to lose a kilo and a half overnight.

Just took 25 laxatives even though the last time I took this much at once I ended up passed out on the floor with the worst stomach pain of my life, but I’m not taking any chances of maintaining for any longer.

Pray for me y’all 🙏🙏

I hate food I hate my brain why can’t I stop thinking about food I can’t do this I can’t control myself I can’t binge again but I know I’m going to I can’t do this

Update on the sushi situation from last night, I did end up eating it and something else which I deeply regret although if my calculations were right with the sushi I did stay under 500 cals. I hate how easily I gave into desire, I feel like I have no discipline whatsoever. To make up for breaking my fast early I’m going to fast for the entire weekend and maybe Monday, and work out even harder. God I hate myself.

My local shop not only restocked all my favourite binge food but also put it all on sale #godgiveshistoughestbattlestohisstrongestsoldiers

Does anyone have any tips on what to do after a huge painful binge besides purging/taking laxatives and walking/exercising? I’m specifically looking for ways to debloat / minimise the discomfort and ways to feel better emotionally.

Also if anyone has any ideas on how to prevent future binges triggered by hanging out with friends, that would be greatly appreciated !!

I’m never going to recover, it’s too late now. I’m just gonna be stuck in a binge restrict cycle for the rest of my life, I know it.

omfg I forgot to take my Fitbit off before going on tbe swings and now it thinks I’ve done 12,000 steps when in reality I’ve probably only done like 5k at most RAJHHHH

Does anyone have any tips on how to fix severe exhaustion? I’m not sick but I’ve felt like death for some reason the past 2 days and it’s preventing me from getting my steps in because moving feels borderline impossible.