Like-luke-likes - Like-Luke-Likes

y’all for 2 years: taylor swift is a republican trump supporter and kanye west is always right we stand with him

me now:

planetfatness:

overheard a girl’s phone conversation on the bus where she angrily asked the person on the other line why she had to call on someone else’s phone - “why did you block my number?? yes you did! then why didn’t you answer my calls or texts???” and i was like damn, this girl is mad, i kinda feel bad for whoever she’s talking to. then she said “no, grandma, LISTEN” and i was like grandma, the fuck? how could you?

your husband seems like a dick kill him. also does ghosts still exist?

he is a dick and killing him is on my list, but he’s attractive so i’m going to get one more kid out of him

i’m not sure on the ghost front, i guess we’ll find out after i kill my husband and put his gravestone in my backyard 

Jenny Slate, Stage Fright (2019)

IM REALLY TIRED OF PARENTS THINKING THAT EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET IS A PREDATOR 

b99week - day two - favourite cold open

only the best and most infamous scene in the entire show

This is my favourite interview strategy