Me: I’m Not Susceptible To Clickbait “this Abandoned Shopping Mall Is Full Of Thousands Of Fish”

Have you heard of the ancient Greek hero, Bophades?

He was a lot like Achilles- he had just one weakness. Except instead of his heel, it was his groin. You may have heard of “Achilles’ heel”, but have you heard of “Bophades’ Nuts”?

me for 3 years straight: “sorry i haven’t been myself lately”

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

2030 is as far away as 2000

tom nook isnt a landlord oh my god. u dont pay him rent. u pay him to build ur house. thats it. the bill is for ur house. it is not monthly. it is not rent. it is a bill for the literal construction of ur house and unlike real life theres zero interest on the loan and u never have to repay it in order to progress thru the game. simply the fact that nook builds the damn thing for u without even needing proof that u can or will pay him back is incredible. how is he the bad guy.

“yeah but i have to pay him back if i want to get a bigger house—“ Sometimes We Must Exchange Video Game Money For Video Game Goods And Services. literally wht universe is it common for games to just hand u all free shit n upgrades. it is so easy to pay nook back on day one. go catch some gd common butterflies

I work at a daycare with infants.

One of our baby girls is fat, in the 99th percentile for her age. She is super cute and sweet. Lately, she has been sick with various breathing issues, so she has been reluctant to take her bottles. Normally, she’ll take 4 ounces of formula at lunch and 8 ounces in the afternoon. Today, I was lucky to get to her take 5 all day.

There was a substitute covering a lunch break in my classroom today. We emphasized to her that we need to keep trying to get the baby to drink her bottle until she finished it. She said, “Why are you guys so worried about taking her bottle?”

My coworker replied, “That’s where all her nutrients are. She needs the nutrients and the water.”

To which the substitute replied, “But she’s so fat. She doesn’t need it.”

Thin privilege is a small, pretty baby getting better childcare because the caretaker doesn’t think she’s too fat to be allowed to eat.

It’s the 10 year anniversary of 2009…

wow. i can’t believe tomorrow is christmas.

“Think...A dwarf, but a twink...”

-Me, the DM, explaining to one of my players what a Halfling is.