Remus: Hey Guess What This Jumper Is Made Out Of

You're a LyCANthrope, not a LyCAN'Thrope

James Potter to Remus Lupin at some point

[before being interrogated by the police]

Remus: Sirius, don't say a word.

Sirius:...

Sirius: Fergalicious

Remus: I said no words

Sirius: oH I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble it's not a word and now suddenly it is a word because it's convenient for you

Snape: Potter.

James: Snape.

Sirius: Sirius.

James: Okay, you just said your own name, mate.

Sirius: It was the only one left!

three mischief makers + one rat

Remus, the night before leaving for Hogwarts:

James and Sirius:

Okay tommorow is officially Jily death day so instead of going trick-or-treating imma just be sobbing in the corner like i do every halloween

Don’t worry, Nearly-Headless Nick is not forgotten I will incorporate his headlessness sometime into my sobfest 

Wanna Join?

Remus: Look, Severus, I wanted to apologize for everything we said when we were younger. I really like having you around.

Snape: No, you don't.

Remus: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.

James (chanting over a bubbling cauldron with a witch hat on): Chaos, mischief, terror, fright

Sirius (chanting with a witch hat on): Sun, moon, day, and night

Remus (chanting with a witch hat on): Rat, dog, wolf, and stag

Peter (chanting with a witch hat on): Four Marauders, a sickly Victorian child, and red headed hag

Lily (snatching her witch hat off): Screw you. This is the last time I hang out with you guys

Regulus (adjusting his hat): Yeah, she’s right. Is this all necessary? Also, I’m not sickly or Victorian. I’m from London you dolt

James: You guys wanted to be Marauders. This is the initiation ceremony. And put the hats back on, you’re ruining the aesthetic

When the Marauders found out Remus was a Werewolf

Remus: You don't hate me? But... I'm a werewolf!

James: Remus. See this arm? It's actually shorter than my other arm but you can't really tell. Especially when I twirl like this.

Peter: I'm lactose intolerant.

Sirius: I'm OBNOXIOUS!

"What's this?" Lily asked aloud, picking up the folded piece of parchment from the floor. It was blank on both sides. She tried prodding it with her wand, but nothing happened.

"Specialis Revelio!" she whipered.

Again, nothing happened.

Frustrated, Lily tried speaking to it instead. "My name is Lily Evans."

At once, jet black writing began spreading across the map. Lily squinted to try and make out the words.

Mr. Moony would like to ask Lily if she could put the map down now before things get crazy.

Mr. Padfoot would like to tell Lily not to put the map down because he's quite looking forward to Mr. Prongs pooping his pants.

Mr. Moony would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to be quiet.

Mr. Wormtail would like to tell Lily that her hair looks nice today and would also like to ask if Mr. Prongs is doing okay.

Mr. Prongs is not doing okay.

Mr. Padfoot would like to ask Lily if she could find this piece of parchment more often.

Mr. Prongs would like to say that Mr. Padfoot is an arse and would also like to ask Lily if she has ever had feelings for a lad named James Potter.

Mr. Mooony would like to slam his head against the wall.

What is going on? Lily wondered as more writing appeared on the surface of the map.

Mr. Wormtail still thinks that Lily should put this parchment down and walk away.

Mr. Prongs does not want Lily to put this down as he's still waiting for an answer about that whole James Potter thing.

Mr. Padfoot is having the time of his life.

Mr. Padfoot would also like to add that this James fellow seems like an awful human being that smells like dung. Or, at least, that's Mr. Padfoot's impression.

Mr. Prongs would like to tell Mr. Padfoot to SHUT UP.

Mr. Moony apologizes to Lily.

Mr. Prongs would like to say that James Potter is in fact a wonderful bloke and Mr. Prongs has heard that James would make a wonderful boyfriend.

Mr. Padfoot thinks Mr. Prongs is good at being subtle.

Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot should go shove his head up his abnormally large arse.