Well Explain Me Then, If Starving Is Bad For Me Why It Feels Like I Became A God

skinny

when I was dying

I think it is really fucked up

to start a sentence like this

everyone complimented me

on slowly turning to ashes

'You look so pretty dear'

they said

and I heard

'try harder'

when someone is suffering

from lung cancer

You don't light them a cigarette

You don't

You do not hand a suicidal person

a loaded gun

unless you want them to die

so why did you?

why did you handed me a gun?

what was I supposed to do with it?

besides pulling the trigger

when you are sixteen

and at some point

we all are

nothing is as easy as dying

without anyone noticing

dying isn't like it is in the movies

a 60 second sequel

with blood and wounds and lots of noise

it is a quiet long-term-process

You do not recognise the dead

-aeris

rb if you didn’t realize you had trauma until years after it happened

people don’t understand how mentally draining having an eating disorder is. they assume you just skip a meal a day and then boom you lose like 30 pounds then recover. they don’t realize that you lose all your energy and can barely even function. you lose friends over it, get horrible grades, have to stop working, lose interest & energy in pursuing passions and hobbies. it fucking sucks and they make it so obvious they don’t give a shit about us.

I HATE MYSELF! I really do.

Today, my mom had just gotten back from work when she decided to take us out. I got worried and tried to come up with a good excuse. Of course it didn't work. We went to Zaxby's and I feel disgusting. I loathe every part of my body. I ate four chicken pieces. FOUR! How disgusting am I. Not only that, but I also ate lots of fries. I wasn't thinking clearly. I am so worthless. I hate everything that I do. I AM SO SORRY FOR EATING. God, please forgive me....