Mia-rules-me - ✨miarulesmylife✨

well explain me then, if starving is bad for me why it feels like i became a god

It’s all I see all around me

I wanna find someone who makes me feel like I'm listening to my favorite song when we're together. 🖤

I want hollow cheeks and sunken eyes. collarbones that stand out. arms that look like they would snap if I picked up something too heavy with hands that look skeletal. thighs that don't touch and calves that don't jiggle. I want my hips to be sharp and my pants to barely cling on them. I want to be able to count all my ribs and my stomach to cave. my hands would shake , my body freezing , my vision spotty and head spinning when I get up. I wouldn't be scared to sit on someone's lap or be picked up. I want it so bad

Okay. Come on, then. I love you, get up, we are going to keep going. Repeat this to yourself in a mirror or in a whisper or in the shower or in a shout. I love you, get up, keep going.

I am tired too. It's okay. We will sleep in the car ride over. We will sleep on each other's shoulders. We will sleep upside down and in the laps of new friends and on the bellies of our lovers and in the hands of better tomorrows. We will sleep and we will wake up rested and we will wake up happy and we will wake up home again.

I love you, get up. It's time to write "maybe next time" on our gravesite. It's time to write: it could not kill me, I would not die. It's time to write a love letter to the sun and our one-act play and the history of our keychains. It is time to write a future where despite everything, we are finally warm and safe.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Get up. Keep going. We are going to be okay.

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why." - Mark Twain