HI!!!!! You’re My Sole Inspiration For Writing 9th Member Fics (they’re So Fun,, It’s Like Being

omg i just saw the prompt list

can you do something cute and fluffy with 21 + 44 for Felix, he is wrecking me again rn🥹❤️

so this is pretty rushed but i think it went okay. omg same btw, he's been wrecking me so hard the past few days with his new hairstyle too. anyway here you go <3

fall for you - lee felix

pairing: lee felix x reader

summary: you and felix are at the library late at night, studying for an exam, until things take a sudden turn

genre: another college!au but you can't really tell ig, soft shy felix, very fluffy

a/n: this fic feels so cosy. dividers by @kodaswrld

⛓️ prompts: 21. "Are you trying to get me to fall for you?" / 44. "I wasn't supposed to say that."

skz prompt list | skz masterlist

The library is dead silent this time of night, you note as you walk in; the only sounds come from the faint tapping of keys on laptops and occasional taps and thuds as a pen is set down and a book is closed. No one is here but you and a certain someone.

Felix.

He is sitting with his knees tucked to his chest when you return from the cafe down the street, holding a cardboard tray of two drinks. You hand one to him and he thanks you with a soft, tired smile as you sit next to him, where your own workstation has been set up.

Your shoulder brushes his as you readjust, and you sigh as you reopen your laptop, the ghoulish blue light overtaking the warm glow of the golden desk lamps surrounding the area.

Felix laughs quietly. "Bet you missed that blue light, huh?"

You groan. "No, I dragged my feet on the way back from the cafe so I wouldn't have to face it. It's giving me a headache."

"At least you're prepared for the exam."

You groan and lean your head on his shoulder, exasperated. Your voice is muffled. "I don't feel prepared."

He ruffles your hair. "You say that every time, and then you pass with a great score. Relax, Y/nnie."

You sigh and sit upright, stretching. "I guess."

Bending your fingers to release some of the tension, you exhale and dive back into your work. You assume Felix is doing the same, and when you glance across, he is, but little do you know that he's already missing the familiar warmth of your physical action. His shoulder burns where you rested your head and he rolls it back, trying to alleviate the bittersweet feeling.

You're both already sitting fairly close; it's cold outside, and naturally, you drift closer to each other for warmth in the chilly air of the spacious library, knees tucked to chests and jackets draped over shoulders. Silence descends again, occasionally broken by one of you as you pore over shared notes or point to something on your laptops.

You sit back suddenly, turning behind you to survey the darkened shelves and sitting areas. Felix looks up from his notes.

"What's wrong?"

You grin at him. "We're literally the only ones here, do you realise?"

He surveys your surroundings too with a dazed gaze, then he nods. "Yep. I guess everyone else studied earlier."

You laugh and then hurriedly shush yourself, not wanting to disturb the peaceful, serene atmosphere that has descended like a blanket over the library interior. Felix covers his mouth with a hand, trying to muffle his laugh.

"The place isn't haunted, you know," he snickers. "You're allowed to make noise."

You point an accusatory finger at him. "It might be! And besides, you're doing the same thing."

"No, I'm not."

You roll your eyes. "All the library ghosts are going to come for you if they hear you lying, Lee Felix."

Felix snickers again, eyes widening. "Library ghosts? When'd you get that idea? You're lying now-"

You put on a very self-important expression and interrupt him, pretending to glare. "I made it up just now, 'cos I can. They can hear you, Felix."

He's grinning softly now, and a warm feeling spreads in his chest, thawing the ice beginning to frost over his skin from the library air. “I swear," he says, still grinning, "You always know how to make me laugh. Are you trying to get me to fall for you?”

You grin too and try to hide a blush, thankful for the low light. “What? No, of course not. Just trying to keep you awake.”

Felix’s smile falters slightly, unsure if he meant to say that out loud. His hand scratches the back of his neck nervously.

“I... I wasn’t supposed to say that.” He says uncertainly.

You try to play it off, teasing. “Well, now you’ve said it. So, what are you going to do about it?”

Felix’s eyes widen, and he stammers, not knowing how to answer. His heart races. He tries to cover it up with a nervous laugh, his voice a little shaky.

“I... I don’t know. Maybe you should just... make me fall for you?”

Your heart thuds, almost out of your ribcage, and you turn to him, hoping you look as confident as you sound. You don't.

"How exactly do I do that, Felix?"

He is silent. The atmosphere is charged, not least because of the conversation topic or the proximity. Felix lets his head drop and exhales heavily, like he used to when he had a secret to tell. When he raises his head, there's the faintest ghost of a shy smile on his lips. His cheeks are flushed and he's almost shaking.

His voice is so quiet when he speaks, almost a whisper.

"You don't have to try and make me fall for you, Y/n."

You tilt your head softly. "Why not?"

"Because you already have."

a/n: ooooohh *snaps fingers* plot twist

lonely st. ✧ chapter v : behind closed doors

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: han jisung in the building, the usual stuff, hyunjin is confused poor baby :( yeji is a dick

a/n: chapter fiveeeee

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Y/n watched as a butterfly fluttered past her, wings flapping haphazardly. Sighing and leaning against the rough, sanded brick of the school wall, she took a breath and began to walk home.

She'd been stalling for no particular reason; it was just that going home felt mundane and unexciting without the walk with Hyunjin. He'd told her in their last class that he was staying back for basketball practice that afternoon and she'd nodded, watching as he'd apologized for not being able to walk home with her.

Then he'd run off.

The sky seemed a little dimmer than usual, and Y/n clutched the strap of her bag as she made her way down the street, trying to become an inconspicuous presence amongst the throngs of students milling past her. She inhaled deeply as she put one foot in front of the other, the smell of the fresh, post-storm air soothing her lungs and cleansing her insides.

Y/n let her arms relax, her sketchbook slipping out from under the crook of her elbow and dropping to the pavement. Reaching to pick it up, her hand collided with someone else's, large and veiny unlike her own.

"Sorry, Y/n."

Y/n shook her head and took the sketchbook without looking at who it was, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She suddenly tilted her head in confusion, quickly checking the book for any damage.

"Wait- how do you know my name?"

"I'm in some of your classes. I don't think we've talked before, but I'm one of Hyunjin's friends. I play basketball with him too."

Y/n looked up hesitantly. The boy had a friendly, wide grin, the first few buttons of his shirt undone, and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, much like the way Hyunjin wore his school shirt. His slightly fluffy hair was parted messily down the middle. He wasn't wearing a blazer or sweater vest, and Y/n noticed a pair of colourful sneakers on his feet, thick and chunky. Basketballer shoes.

The boy extended a hand. "I'm Han Jisung. Nice to meet ya."

"So, how's it going with Hyunjin?" Han asked casually, almost skipping alongside the path next to Y/n.

She glared at him warily, wondering if he was fishing for details, or trying to find out if she liked Hyunjin. But Han's face was open, not expectant or eager. Not a hint of malice showed in his features, just a casual, easygoing demeanour that Y/n sort of liked. He was quite the talker, so it suited her perfectly to walk in silence while Han talked about this and that.

"It's good," she said quietly.

Han nodded, jumping up to tug a random leaf off an overhanging branch. He'd offered to walk her home, and Y/n figured that if he was one of Hyunjin's friends, he was probably trustable. But she kept an eye on him nonetheless, not wishing to risk anything.

The walk had been nice, though, with Han keeping up a constant stream of cheerful chatter along the way. He's a bit like the sun, Y/n thought to herself.

She watched silently as Han leapt up to slap a sign with impressive height, a metallic thunk ringing out as he slammed a palm against it. He landed easily on his feet and turned back to Y/n, grinning.

"You try," he said.

Y/n shook her head and Han whined.

"Come onnnn, just one go. I reckon you can reach it."

Y/n sighed as Han excitedly took her bag, holding it for her. Mustering up the nonexistent strength, she ran a few steps, swinging her arms up for momentum, and jumped. Her palm hit the middle of the sign with a satisfying bang, the same thunking noise ringing out into the street.

Landing, she stumbled a little, before glancing up at Han, breathless. He cheered, clapping wildly, and handed her bag back to her. Y/n smiled without even realising. That was the fastest she'd moved in a long time. It felt good.

They reached the willow tree five minutes later, Y/n's smile fading unexpectedly. She'd actually really enjoyed walking with Han, and the rest of the walk home without his constant chattering and antics made Y/n's heart sink more than she would have liked to admit.

Han glanced up and let a hand trail through the low-hanging fronds of the willow. Thoughtfully tugging off a couple leaves, he let them flutter to the pavement before looking across at Y/n, who was seemingly lost in thought.

He turned and dug through his bag, hand reaching past the mess of pencils, uncapped pens, crumpled worksheets, and- oh, that's where his wrist brace went- to pull out a scrap of paper and a pen.

Scribbling down his number, he glanced across at Y/n, who was still staring into the distance, and recapped the pen. Shyly, he poked her arm and held out the piece of paper.

She took it hesitantly and glanced at the messy writing. Her eyes widened a tiny bit.

Han shook his hands frantically at her surprised expression, afraid he'd gone too far. "U-um, I just thought it'd be good for you to have my number- you know, since we're both friends with Hyunjin and all, it might be good to stay in contact.. if you want to, of course-"

Y/n nodded, butterflies taking flight in her stomach. "Thanks."

"That's okay. Maybe we can text tonight? Again, if you want to..."

Y/n smiled a tiny bit, the expression feeling strange and unfamiliar. She'd only known Han for 20 minutes, but he already felt like a friend. Maybe they already were friends.

Was it possible to be friends with someone even if you hadn't known them for a long time? Or was that just something people said all the time, but wasn't actually true?

She bid Han a quiet goodbye and he turned and walked back down the street, pausing only to give her a grin over his shoulder. He gestured a texting action with his hands and mouthed 'tonight' before turning the corner and disappearing.

Y/n glanced down at the piece of paper between her fingers. He'd scribbled his number haphazardly across the paper. Next to the last digit was a little smiley face and a messy rendition of a basketball.

The strange, warm, fuzzy sensation came back, settling in Y/n's stomach like a warm, chocolatey drink on a cold winter's day.

For the first time, Y/n welcomed the feeling.

Y/n sighed in relief, shutting her textbook. Her teachers were really dishing out the homework this week for some reason. She'd told herself to finish it before texting Han, and her fingers had been itching to touch her phone throughout. She'd ended up shutting it into her bedside drawer so she wouldn't get distracted.

Looking out her window thoughtfully, she put the textbook neatly to the side and moved to her bed, pulling out her phone from the drawer. She bit her lip

What if it was all just a joke? What if Han had just given her his number so he could clown her for thinking that he really was her friend?

Shaking her head, Y/n entered Han's number and hit the texting application. Thumbing out a short message, she hit sent before she could second-guess herself.

*texting unknown number* y/n: han? unknown number: y/n, hey!

Y/n blinked, wondering if she was seeing things. She wasn't. That was fast.

unknown number: i was worried i'd written my number down wrong. i'm not good at remembering stuff, so i'm glad i got it right 👌 y/n: yeah y/n: thank you for walking with me today unknown number: of course unknown number: it was fun, actually unknown number: and a nice change from having to listen to felix scold me about eating things i shouldn't y/n: ... unknown number: don't question it unknown number: by the way, you can call me jisung. we're friends now, so you don't have to be formal 😁 *y/n changed 'unknown number' to 'jisung'* y/n 🎨: there, i changed it jisung: cool jisung: i already changed yours to 'y/n 🎨' y/n 🎨: why the paint palette emoji? jisung: hyunjin told me and felix that you sketch. he said you're really good. jisung: you being an artist is really cool. i can't draw to save my life

A warm feeling spread across Y/n's cheeks, the same way it had when she'd shown Hyunjin a snippet of one of her sketches during their daily lunchtime library sessions. She wondered when Hyunjin had told his friend about her passion for sketching.

Y/n thought that Jisung was honestly really sweet for not being afraid to compliment her on it.

y/n 🎨: thanks y/n 🎨: you said you played basketball? jisung: yup jisung: we have a championship tournament coming up soon too y/n 🎨: that's cool y/n 🎨: are there positions in basketball? like offense or defence jisung: yeah, i play power forward jisung: hyunjin plays center since he's pretty much the designated captain, plus he's really good y/n 🎨: i haven't seen him play, but i can believe that jisung: yea, he's amazing. wish i could be as good as he is y/n 🎨: i bet you're a great player too jisung: you know, you're actually really nice y/n 🎨: thanks...? jisung: nonono not like that jisung: i just meant that i didn't expect you to be so sweet, you usually sort of come across as... y/n 🎨: cold? jisung: ...yeah. but it's not a bad thing. jisung: it just means that when you do show emotion, you mean it with your whole heart

Y/n rolled over onto her back and looked up thoughtfully at the ceiling. She'd never thought of it that way. It made sense.

A thought occurred to her suddenly.

y/n 🎨: hyunjin usually walks home with me jisung: yeah, he told me about that. when you gave him the bandaids too. jisung: what about it? y/n 🎨: he said he had basketball practice. you're on the team too, so how come you didn't know jisung: i thought you were y/n, not some sort of super detective, jeez! y/n 🎨: haha, it just occurred to me jisung: hyunjin sometimes stays back by himself so he can practice. though i do think he overdoes it sometimes y/n 🎨: he seems like he loves playing basketball a lot jisung: sometimes i think if i asked him to choose between me and his beloved basketball, he would choose basketball 🥲

Y/n let out a quiet laugh as she read Jisung's message. No wonder him and Hyunjin were friends. They had the same easygoing demeanour, the same effortless style of humour.

y/n 🎨: i doubt hyunjin would choose basketball over you, if that makes you feel any better jisung: i wish 😔 he spends a lot of time practicing by himself after school most days jisung: speaking of, did you want his number?

Y/n put her phone down and bit her lip. Would it be weird if she said yes? She didn't want to come across as clingy or overly attached. She typed out a reply.

y/n 🎨: no, it's okay. jisung: you just gonna wait til he gives it to you himself?

Y/n must have paused for a bit too long after reading his message, because Jisung followed up.

jisung: don't sweat it if that's what you were planning to do jisung: he could do with the push

She huffed out a laugh on an exhale and typed back.

y/n 🎨: maybe don't push him too far, he might fall over y/n 🎨: i think he's injured enough... jisung: at least he has you and your bandaid supply to keep him going lol y/n 🎨: yup jisung: super sorry dude but i have to go finish my overdue math homework tonight or my teacher might actually throw me out the window y/n 🎨: who's your math teacher? jisung: mr yang y/n 🎨: we have the same math teacher. i never realised jisung: oh we do, that's dope jisung: we should sit together next class y/n 🎨: sure, if you want y/n 🎨: just curious, but how long is your math homework overdue by? jisung: ... jisung: three and a half weeks y/n 🎨: that's actually crazy y/n 🎨: no wonder mr yang is so stressed all the time jisung: shut up jisung: anyway, we have math tomorrow, so i'll see you then y/n 🎨: okay. see you later, jisung jisung: byeee 👋

Hyunjin slumped down onto the bench, sweaty hair mussing against the wall. His shoes squeaked against the court's polished wooden floor as he stretched out his legs in front of him.

How long had he been practicing for? An hour? Two? A whole day?

The bell that went at the end of the school day felt like it had gone a long time ago. All Hyunjin wanted to do was head home, take his sweaty basketball gear off, shower, and eat something good. Then he would collapse into bed and feel the soft, soft pillow against his cheek...

His phone buzzed. Sighing, Hyunjin reached into his bag and pulled it out. He flicked open the notification bar and saw that he had a new message from Yeji. Groaning, he swiped the chat open.

yeji 🍭: you coming over tonight?

Hyunjin pursed his lips and blew a strand of sweat-slicked hair out of his eyes.

hyunjin: huh? yeji 🍭: for tutoring, silly hyunjin: oh

If he was being honest with himself, he didn't feel like going. He felt exhausted. But Yeji would never let him hear the end of it if he backed out. And it had been a while since they'd talked. He was sort of missing her.

hyunjin: sure hyunjin: give me half an hour yeji 🍭: see you then, jinnie

Hyunjin slurped up a mouthful of ramen, gulping down the noodles and broth. He groaned. Food always tasted better after practice. It tasted even better after he was all cozy and cleaned up.

Yeji had opened the door as soon as he'd knocked. Her parents were often out at night time, since they both worked late office jobs, and she was only too happy to have the house to herself and Hyunjin.

He'd taken a shower at hers and changed into his spare set from his duffel bag before heading into her room. It felt so good to wash off all the sweat and grime he so often collected during intense training sessions. He'd stood under the hot water for a long time, letting it soothe his muscles and relieve the aching.

Walking into her room, Hyunjin noticed she'd set the lighting low and easy on the eyes, gold and pink hues shining out from the lampshade to cast patterns around the room.

Currently, he was sitting on her bed, slurping ramen from an instant noodle cup. Yeji was sitting on her desk chair, deep orange locks tied back messily in a bun, doing the same thing.

Countless times they'd done this. Their parents were close friends and the result of that growing up was a lot of time spent at the other's place. Now, the routine felt comforting and familiar.

It was a little awkward at times, considering they were both older now, but Hyunjin was grateful for her company. What with all the stress and hustle from schoolwork and basketball practice, it felt good to slow down and just relax.

Yeji glanced across at him as he set the empty ramen cup down on her bedside. She chuckled as he flopped back onto her bedspread, almost hitting his head on the wall.

"Careful."

Hyunjin only groaned in response, too exhausted to do anything else.

"Do we have to study?" He managed to get out.

Yeji laughed and set her own cup down, moving to flop down into a beanbag on the floor. The sky outside was dimming in shades of orange and lilac.

"Not if you don't want to. But what happened to wanting to pass the semester, Jinnie?"

Hyunjin sighed and propped himself up on his elbows, gazing at her blearily. "I can do that when I'm not completely exhausted."

Yeji got up and turned the lamp up a little higher before moving to sit next to him. She poked his leg.

"Come on, don't fall asleep."

Hyunjin simply rolled over, turning his back to her. Sure, Yeji could be fake and irritating and more than a bit of a drama queen if she felt like it, but she was Hyunjin's childhood friend. A close confidant, and good company too. Sometimes he wasn't sure what to think of her, but sometimes he liked her a lot too.

He found his heart thudding as she leaned over to poke his cheek. Her airy perfume filled the space between them with a soft, vanilla scent.

She smells so good...

"Jinnie," she said softly. "If you fall asleep here, where am I supposed to sleep? On the floor?"

"In my arms," he murmured, feeling hazy and pleasantly drowsy.

She leaned closer, having not heard what he'd said. "What?"

"Nothing..."

Yeji sighed, lying down behind him and putting her hands behind her head. She stared up at the ceiling, letting her legs dangle off the bed.

"How's basketball?"

"Busy," he whispered in response. "How's dance?"

"Busy."

Hyunjin rolled over, propping his head under his elbow. "Your competition is soon, isn't it?"

Yeji nodded, not taking her eyes off the ceiling. She'd taken her hair out, but there was a little star barrette she'd left in on the right side of her head, near her ear. She must have forgotten about it. Hyunjin could tell she was tired like he was; there were slight bags under her eyes now that she'd removed the concealer from them, and her eyes were drooping shut.

He took a deep breath and reached out to gently unclip the barrette from the locks, his heart pounding so loud it hurt. She didn't move. Hyunjin's eyes flicked to her face and he realised they were shut.

She's asleep, he thought in relief.

Glancing outside, he checked the time on his phone; it was getting late, and he'd be expected to get home soon. He set the star hairclip next to her before reaching out with a shaky hand and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, light as a feather.

He could stay a little longer.

Through his exhaustion, Hyunjin could feel guilt suddenly nagging at his consciousness. How could he be lying her next to her, crushing on her and touching her hair, knowing what she'd said about Y/n? That she was an outcast, that she was only friends with Y/n out of pity...

It's not like Y/n knows about it, Hyunjin desperately reasoned with himself, fighting against his moral compass.

The little sensible voice in Hyunjin's head spoke up. You know it's not right, Hyunjin. Even if you're close friends with Yeji, it's not worth it to throw Y/n under the bus... right?

Hyunjin grit his teeth. Was he willing to lose Yeji in order to become closer with Y/n? Or would he just mess everything up with Yeji? She was his childhood friend. He'd only known Y/n for just under a month's worth of time.

Hyunjin tugged at his damp hair in agitation.

Do the right thing.

Picking up his duffel, he quietly checked he'd gotten every one of his belongings before heading out the door. His desires fought him every step out of her room. He glanced at her sleeping figure before taking a deep breath and continuing away.

He headed quietly down the stairs, and across the living room, before opening the front door. Confusion, agitation, frustration, and indecision tugged at his heartstrings and settled uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach, like he'd eaten something that had gone bad.

A tear ran down his cheek as he started off down the street.

Hyunjin lifted his head from the pillow as his phone let out a ding, signalling a new notification. Groaning and wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands, he reached across and glared at the bright screen.

yeji 🍭: hey, where'd you go? yeji 🍭: i woke up and you were gone

Hyunjin sighed and flopped onto his back. He'd fallen asleep as soon as he'd gotten home, but not before having a little cry. He'd never tell any of the boys, but he liked the feeling of crying, the feeling of the weight lifting off his shoulders. He typed out a reply.

hyunjin: sorry, i had to go, i was expected home yeji 🍭: could've left me a note, jinnie yeji 🍭: i thought you would have stayed the night yeji 🍭: it would have been nice, just the two of us hyunjin: what do you mean? hyunjin: i mean i've stayed the night before, but it seems like you're saying something different this time... yeji 🍭: i mean yeji 🍭: you know yeji 🍭: it is different hyunjin: how so? yeji 🍭: you know why it's different, jinnie.

Hyunjin's hands fumbled and he dropped his phone on his forehead at her reply. He winced and rubbed the red spot on his forehead.

She knows. She knows. She knows.

He shoved his phone under his pillow and buried his face in it, trying to erase the whole evening from his mind. Regret washed over him. He should have just denied her 'tutoring' invite and gone home. He could have saved himself all the time and trouble.

And all of the tears.

taglist (open) : @kozumesphone @bangchansgirlsblog @ms-flowergirl @stayriversflow

✨ send a request or DM to be added / removed !

pretty similar i think... thanks for the tag @its-stayville-forever . . .

tagging @jeonginsleftcheek @linocvp1d @sanriomilk @jisunggy if yall wanna have a go ⛓️

blog vs blogger with this picrew.. "tagged" by @wronglennon <3 tagging @woodsteingirl @jokerlennon @porciaenjoyer @lesbiansagainsttheatre & anyone who wants to

General fluff headcanons with skz

(If not all then just with Chan and Hyunjin!!) ♥️

hihi sweet anon i'm sorry this took so astronomically long ... it's here now tho oops . i got hit with writer's block and lost motivation sigh ... hyunjin version is dropping later tonight, and i might continue the headcanon series if people request for the other members :] we'll see tho <3

bang chan - skz fluff headcanons

pairing: bang chan x reader

summary: chan headcanons

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, general fluff headcanons, chan is just a silly lil thing

a/n: i hate writer's block . divider from @aewinse

masterlist

...

first of all

lots of physical affection

like, lots

anywhere he can get you, anywhere he can find you, he's coiling his arms around your waist or around your shoulders, leaning over your shoulder to nosily look at whatever it is you're doing

sometimes, if he wants attention, and is in a whiny mood, he'll drape himself over you and let his weight sag onto your body from behind

which usually results in a panicked squeal from you, a chuckle from chan, and therefore the two of you sprawled in a heap on the floor

from there, you're not getting up

say goodbye to whatever it was you were doing because chan will happily lie on top of you for as long as he pleases

unless you urgently need to get up, like to turn off the stove or go to the bathroom, chan will keep you in his arms for a very long time

the fact that your legs go numb after a while because of his weight is also an advantage in chan's eyes

he can literally just lift you up and place you on the bed or the couch to cuddle with him like a little plush toy

albeit a very whiny one

when he's feeling a little more playful, and in need of your affection, he'll come up behind you and suddenly throw you over his shoulder

the world goes upside down and before you know it, you're cozied up with a giggly chan

he loves taking naps with you fr

we all know this man does not sleep like at all but somehow having you near him helps a lot

he always finds that your warmth makes him feel relaxed and cozy, and he doesn't have to worry about what comes next because it's just you and him, right now

even if he doesn't manage to get to sleep, he's content with just peacefully watching you sleep, and likes to stroke your hair or talk to you softly

even though you can't hear him

chan also loves to cook for you !!

he's always bugging minho to teach him new recipes so he can cook really good food for you

eventually minho just sends him a list of recipe blogs and websites and you usually come home to something hot on the stove

chan's super busy, so on the days he can't be there to cook for you, he'll prepare food beforehand and freeze several containers so you don't have to cook

he gets to take care of you, and you get to eat well

win win

you always save half the portion of your food so that when chan comes home, he can eat quickly before slipping into bed next to your sleeping figure

he doesn't like it much when you do that, since he wants you to eat well without having to worry about him

you do it anyway, knowing that chan often doesn't have the energy or time to make food for himself after a tiring day at the company

also !!

he likes inviting you to his solo studio sessions, usually late at night or during his free time at the company

sits you on his lap without fear because he always locks the door beforehand

"can't have the kids walking in on us,"

or so he says

he just wants you all to himself

you trace the veins on his hands and forearms while he mixes beats and adds elements to his tracks

hums softly into your ear while you lay your head against his chest

and when you get tired, he'll lift you carefully and place you on the studio couch, draping his thick, cologne-scented leather jacket over you

also i just know he smells so good okay

like

i'm thinking like spicy, smoky sort of scent

but not like bushfire smoky or whatever

like a soft, subtle, masculine smell

more woodsy and leather-like

ughhh

he always pulls up these fragrance websites on his phone, maybe from fendi or another fashion house

he'll let you sit on his lap and choose whichever you think will suit him best

and he always buys the ones you choose, wearing your three favourites on alternate weeks so you have an excuse to be close to him

you just want to smell him

don't tell him that though kekeke

chan also loves buying you stuff though you always tell him not to

on your bad days especially, when you get home, there'll be a little care package on the bed in a pretty box tied with a ribbon

he always puts your favourite snacks, sweets, skincare products, and little gifts inside because he knows it makes you feel so much better

also always adds two facemasks so you can both do them when chan comes home

obviously you get first pick tho

chan also likes buying you little things from tour that remind you of him, or things that match the vibe of the songs they performed

when he came back from the maniac tour it was an oversized hoodie with green and purple accents, just like the theme of maniac

when he travelled to seoul for the five-star tour, he came back with a pair of black leather combat boots

and they had these little silver stars studded all over the sides, and thick silver zips

you wear both items as often as you can, trying to incorporate chan's little gifts into your everyday life

you feel bad sometimes because he keeps buying you stuff and you don't want to be a bother, but chan firmly insists on it

"baby, you're never a bother,"

please step on me ugh

aHem

moving on

in return, you always take chan's insta posts and some of his bubble pics too

he always lets you choose which ones he should post, though over time they get less and less thirty bc chan is yours and not stay's

as much as you and chan love the fans, there are some select photos you would much rather keep to yourself

it's more special that way in your opinion

chan likes to take pretty photos of you too

you get like really shy though, and chan can't have that

so he just sits you opposite him, takes your wrists in one hand, and snaps a shit ton of photos of you with the other

there's no way to get out of it

he keeps all his photos of you in a special folder on his phone, and his favourites pictures of you in a locked, password-protected folder

like your anniversary pictures, and other special memories he doesn't want other people to see

the kids nag him to show them the photos but chan never relents, wanting to keep those special memories private

your camera roll is much the same

you're also the number one supplier of bang chan blackmail material

the boys, especially minho and felix, always come to you for blackmail material and stupid photos of chan that he hates

you think they're cute but chan violently disagrees

anyways

chan honestly doesn't mind you having his less-than-favourite photos on your phone

as long as you're happy <3

a/n: reblogs and comments appreciated

good thing he didn't overreact...

snake - yang jeongin

pairing: yang jeongin x reader

summary: you come home to jeongin after a long, exhausting day

genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, soft innie, reader had a tough day, the snakes are just a metaphor i promise

a/n: this is super rushed. divider by @atsubie

You trudge down the pavement, brushing past pedestrians and groups of chattering students. A man with his phone to his ear shoves roughly past you and you sway where you're standing, a feeling of hopelessness settling into your stomach like a dark, writhing snake.

These past few weeks have been horrible.

First, one of your close friends at work told you that some of the other coworkers have been spreading nasty rumours about you. You spilled your drink this morning on the way to the building and had to run back and change quickly.

Then when you did show up, your boss shouted at you for being tardy in front of your entire division. You elected to work a couple more hours as compensation, and Jeongin is actually at home for once instead of at the company, so you missed out on an evening with him.

You had texted him earlier in the day, saying that you couldn't come home, and he'd called you. He hadn't minded, his tone casual and slightly teasing as per normal, but you knew him well enough to know he was disappointed at not getting to finally spend some time together.

The coiling snake of guilt, shame, and exhaustion in your stomach has been writhing all week long, and honestly, you're just fed up. Pressing a hand to your midriff, you sigh and pick up the pace, weaving between people, muttering sorry and my bad without so much as a second glance.

You shove the door open and run directly into Jeongin with an oof. His hoodie pillows your face in a refreshing wave of fading cologne and fresh linen. You groan and stand there, sagging into him, the door still flung open in the wake of your frustration.

Jeongin blinks down at you, seemingly unsurprised. He wraps his long, firm arms around you, letting you lean against his chest. It's so warm and so comforting it brings tears to your eyes.

"Hi," he murmurs. "Long day?"

You nod mutely, face still shoved into his hoodie.

Jeongin chuckles, picking you up with little effort and carrying you over to the couch. There's a movie playing. He must have been watching it while waiting for you to come home, and your heart twinges guiltily for having made him wait.

"Innie," you whisper tiredly. "It's so late, why aren't you asleep?"

He's kneeling in front of you, gently undoing the buttons of your shirt so you can breathe, then slipping off your socks and shoes. The look of caring focus on his face doesn't go unnoticed in your current overemotional state. When he finally speaks, Jeongin's voice is soft, gentle, firm.

"You know I can't sleep without you, and I didn't want you coming home to silence."

You nod, unable to do anything.

"Besides," he continues, "You always wait up for me, even when I spend hours and hours at the company for dance practices."

He moves to sit beside you, tugging you gently into a side hug, the solidness of his chest against your chest a comforting anchor. You sit like that for a while, the movie muted and faint in the background.

Jeongin's presence is so warm, so comforting, that all you can do is close tired, strained eyes and lean into him further, inhaling his scent, relishing the solid weight of his arm around you. The burden finally lifts and the sharp, dull tension behind your eyes begins to dissolve, leaving you feel more relaxed and cosy than you've felt in a long time.

The coiling snake in your gut settles and disappears.

a/n: no snakes were harmed in the making of this fic

raspberries - hwang hyunjin

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

summary: hyunjin comforts you after a long, painful day

genre: idk!au, soft hyunjin, really angsty, comfort, fluffy, sad, reader is depressed and is having a tough time, mention of throwing up, mentions of eating and ed, please be safe, and remember that you are loved

a/n: sad :( also requests open

You storm through the front door, almost tripping over before tugging off your shoes and slamming the door shut. Huffing, and on the verge of tears, you trudge down the hallway, every single step aching with a week's worth of disappointments, one after the other.

Entering the bedroom, you throw yourself on the bed, rolling over. Tugging off your work shirt, you groan and run tired, aching hands through your hair, just before the nauseating sense of overwhelm sets in.

You bury your face in the bedding and cry.

.

"Love, I'm home," Hyunjin calls from the doorway.

He's busy kicking off his shoes, about to leave them in their haphazard position on the floor, before he notices something. Your own shoes are strewn messily in the gangway, something that normally never happens.

Hyunjin can recall hundreds of times when you'd made him retrace his steps to the door and put his shoes away neatly in the cupboard. It was a familiar and somewhat comforting routine (though a little unnecessary, Hyunjin thinks).

He frowns before picking each shoe up and putting them carefully in the cupboard. Satisfied, he begins moving through the hallway, before quickly retracing his steps and putting his own footwear meticulously into the cupboard next to yours.

Hyunjin moves through the house, peeking into each room, trying to find you. He pokes his head into the bedroom, immediately noticing your spreadeagled state. He chuckles before moving to your dazed form, lying face down on the mattress.

Hyunjin pokes your side. Nothing.

He figures you're asleep before his hand moves to your hair, ruffling it gently. You let out a muffled whine and shake your head, batting his hand away.

Retracting his hand in surprise and mild confusion, Hyunjin peers down at you as you raise your head. His brow furrows in concern as your eyes meet his.

You look miserable.

Lowering his voice, Hyunjin kneels by the bed, cooing softly.

"Hi," he says quietly. "What happened, my muse?"

A fresh wave of tears fills your eyes and you choke back a cry, mouth parting in distress. Hyunjin is immediately next to you, tugging you gently into his lap, rocking back and forth. Sweet nothings and whispered reassurances leave his mouth in a steady, comforting stream, but his usually soothing voice does nothing to calm your frazzled nerves.

It's all too much.

You sob like a child, leaning into Hyunjin. He notices with some worry how your shoulders are tightening in anxiety, and your hands that are balled into fists, clutching his shirt. Like you don't want him to leave, like he might disappear at any given moment.

You don't know how long it's been before your sobs quieten down. Hyunjin is still rocking you gently, kissing the crown of your forehead every now and then. You raise your head and look at him with red, puffy, exhausted eyes, cheeks streaked with hot, sticky tears.

Hyunjin smiles warmly at you regardless, seemingly not minding the large, soaked patch on his white shirt or the mess you've made of your hair and face. The adoring look in his eyes makes you want to cry and sob into him for another hour. It feels like it's been an hour.

At least, your current feelings are so overwhelming that you can do nothing but open your mouth, staring up at Hyunjin like he's the cure. But the usual, pretty, princely smile doesn't penetrate your heart with a beam of sunlight, and the sky outside feels so much dimmer. Everything feels lonely, like you're a sinking stone, trapped under the cool, dark, icy surface, chilled to the bone.

Like you're watching everything going on above water, where there is warmth and smiles and laughter and compassion, while you sink to the bottom of the deep, dark ocean, heavy and burdened and forgotten.

Hyunjin has been speaking for the last few minutes, his voice careful and soft, but you haven't been listening, too occupied with the numbing, aching feeling settling unpleasantly in the pit of your gut. An uncomfortable cloud of guilt settles over your head, sinking into your being and infusing through your skin like the cloying, sharp scent of cheap perfume.

Your head begins to swirl with a mass of racing thoughts, so fast you can't even comprehend. You feel like you're being squeezed, the life draining out of you, the edges of your vision blurring and darkening.

It's not enough. You're not enough, nothing will ever be good enough, no wonder people don't like you, why can't you just be normal, why can't you just be normal-

"Love, you need to breathe, okay? In and out for me, come on. You can do it."

He sounds so far away...

"Jinnie," you choke out, heaving. Tears stream down your stained cheeks.

"I'm here, I'll always be here, okay?"

You shake your head, sobbing. Your hands are tingling but you can vaguely feel something solid and warm against your palm. Looking up with a tremendous amount of effort, you notice Hyunjin pressing your palm to his heart. Through a haze of tears, you can feel the steady, solid thrum of his heart against your tingling, shaking fingertips.

"You're safe, okay? I'm gonna stay right here with you, just breathe in and out, you can do it, love. You're doing so well."

You choke in a heaving breath and Hyunjin coos encouragingly, still rocking you gently in his lap. Your breathing begins to even out, albeit extremely slowly.

Hyunjin doesn't let go.

.

You wake to something cold and damp being swiped gently across your face. Spluttering, you shove it away before sitting bolt upright, immediately regretting it as you feel the strength pour out of your body in a dizzying wave.

Hyunjin pushes you to lie back gently against the pillows, picking up the damp cloth and continuing to wipe gently at your stained, sticky cheeks and nose. You flush, feeling a bit pathetic, but he doesn't seem to care. His voice is soft.

"You fell asleep again, so I laid you down. What happened, hmm?"

You sniffle. "Everything is a mess."

Hyunjin nods understandingly, cooing as your hands come up to gently clutch at his wrist. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

You shake your head, even that simple motion feeling like a test of ultimate strength. And you're losing the battle.

Hyunjin lets out a soft noise, gesturing to the bedside. "That's okay. Whenever you're ready, my muse. I just want you to drink water and eat something, and then we can do whatever you want."

You sniff and look to your right. On the bedside is a bottle of water, a hydration sachet, a couple of painkillers, and a little bowl of something fresh and red.

You look at Hyunjin, voice croaky. "Raspberries?"

He smiles, nodding. "Bought them this morning. It'll help you feel better, they're really good."

"Jinnie-"

"You need to eat something, okay?" Hyunjin's voice is soft but firm. "Please. It'll help, I promise. You've been running on fumes lately."

You look away guiltily, feeling a bit sick. Hyunjin's long, slender fingers come up to your face, the other holding one of the little berries.

You sigh and relent, chewing slowly on the fruit. And he's right. They are really good.

Hyunjin smiles proudly, like you've done something incredibly amazing. Ruefully, you think that in his eyes, you probably have. And it makes you feel just a tiny bit better inside.

He kisses your forehead. "I'm going to get changed, and then we can watch a movie or cuddle, or do whatever you want, okay?"

You nod silently, exhausted.

Hyunjin leaves and shuts the bathroom door, leaving you with the bowl of little red fruits. You eat slowly, nibbling, not wanting it all to come back up. Every movement is an effort, but slowly, you feel your strength ebbing back in tiny, flowing rivers.

The sky outside lightens, just a little.

a/n: *incoherent sobbing* *sniff sniff*

lonely st. ✧ chapter ix : healing

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: mentions of panic attack, lots of crying, hyunjin collapses from exhaustion at one point, mild mentions of injuries and blood/bruises, hyunjin is kinda mean, best boy felix

a/n: one to go! thank you for all the love <3 please read this post before you open this chapter if you haven't already 💫

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Felix poked his friend on the shoulder. "You excited for the tournament games, Hyunjin?"

"W-what?"

"Are you excited for the tournament games?"

Hyunjin blinked blearily, trying to clear his fuzzy head. "Sure."

He was trying to focus on what Felix was saying, truly, but he just couldn't get the events of the past two days out of his head.

Sitting with Y/n in class, having her fall asleep on him at Felix's place; it was all constantly at the forefront of his mind, and he hadn't been able to sleep. Or focus. Or keep his head in the game.

Or do anything, really.

Coupled with the realisation of his newfound (or perhaps just realised) love for her, all in all, Hyunjin could do nothing but sleepily follow his friend to the bus stop, where their coach was waiting to take them down to the basketball tournament.

It would be seven days away from home; the tournament was a week long event, and normally Hyunjin would have been excited, but today, he felt off. Like he had forgotten something.

Maybe he had forgotten something.

Jisung had come over to help him pack his suitcase just the other night, since he'd forgotten about it in the bustle of having to finish homework, wrap up errands, and the neverending preparations for the upcoming games.

"Normally it's my job to forget to pack my suitcase," Jisung had said to him as he'd helped Hyunjin fold his clothes into his bags. "Feels strange seeing you so unprepared, Hyun."

Hyunjin sighed and pulled out his jacket, setting his duffel down for a moment to pull it on. Him and Felix were currently walking across the field to the coach, which was waiting at the stop a little further ahead. The sky overhead was a milky purple, streaked with light orange and the faintest shimmer of blue, gleaming through the clouds to highlight the early-morning sun, which was still halfway through rising behind them.

Hyunjin glanced at Felix, walking to his left; the blonde haired boy was walking with his head down, watching as his sneakers spread little droplets of dew across the freshly mowed grass. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were a little swollen; it wasn't uncommon for Felix to look like a sleepy chicken in the mornings, especially when they had to travel somewhere early for games.

Hyunjin assumed he probably looked the same way; he hadn't bothered to brush his hair that morning, vouching for a quick shower to wake him up instead. He'd turned the handle after stepping in and had been hit on the back with a flurry of cold water, and his spine still tingled as he relived the memory with a wince twinging at the corners of his mouth.

He hadn't been able to sleep that night, either; he'd been debating for several hours on whether to tell Y/n he was leaving for a week, and he had kept struggling with the decision as the stars had risen higher in the sky.

The night before...

Hyunjin lay in his bed, the sheets rumpled and messy, his hair in the same state. He pressed a hand to his chest, where Y/n had lay a few days earlier; he found he suddenly missed her warmth and the comforting weight of her body against his. A flush painted his cheeks suddenly, his ears dusted pink. But it faded as he picked up his phone, biting his lip.

He had to tell her about the tournament; would she be upset that he'd left it so last minute? He'd told Jisung and Felix not to mention it too much around her; they'd asked why, and Hyunjin found he didn't have an answer.

Perhaps he was worried that things would be different after he came back from the tournament; would she have had some sort of personality transplant by then? Would she have decided that he wasn't good company after all, or that she would much rather be friends with Jisung, or Felix?

The worries swirled in Hyunjin's mind and he opened the chat with Y/n, deciding to tell her anyway. Even if she did decide to hate him, he couldn't bear the fact that while he was away, she might be all alone and be wondering where he had gone. He couldn't do that to her; she deserved to know.

drama king 🏀: hey drama king 🏀: you awake?

He waited silently, his phone held over his face as he relaxed against the pillows, waiting for a response. His arm began to hurt after a few minutes so he rolled onto his side, eyes strained and watering as he glared at the screen.

y/n 🌸💫: hyunjinnie y/n 🌸💫: why are you awake its like 2 am y/n 🌸💫: are you okay?

Hyunjin exhaled in relief, feeling suddenly guilty for waking her with his impulsive actions.

drama king 🏀: sorry. i'm okay drama king 🏀: just, i wanted to tell you something y/n 🌸💫: which is?

Hyunjin let his cheeks puff up as he exhaled harshly, his head spinning slightly at the forceful puff of breath. He typed out a reply.

drama king 🏀: you know the basketball tournament i mentioned to you a while ago? y/n 🌸💫: yeah, what about it? drama king 🏀: it's tomorrow y/n 🌸💫: yeah? y/n 🌸💫: and

Hyunjin let out a little noise of surprise, running a hand through his hair. Was she baiting him, trying to catch him out? He couldn't see any other resolution; how could she have possibly known when the tournament was? He'd never mentioned the dates to her, not that he hadn't wanted to. Again, he found himself struggling to grapple with a conclusion as to why he had been so hesitant to tell her about it.

drama king 🏀: wait- you know about it? drama king 🏀: you know that i'm leaving tomorrow? y/n 🌸💫: of course i knew y/n 🌸💫: it was hard not to know, when it's all jisung talks about in math class with me. you know, when he's not busy listening to g-idle and drawing on my hands y/n 🌸💫: he's a lot of fun

Hyunjin's heart sank for some reason and a mild feeling of irritation settled in the pit of his stomach. Why did he suddenly feel so downcast? Was it because he'd been expecting her to not know about the tournament, and therefore be upset with him for not telling her beforehand? Had he wanted that?

But despite all of that, why was she directing the conversation to Jisung of all people?

Don't be stupid, he chided himself. She's just mentioning how she found out about the tournament. Don't be mad at her, or Jisung.

He typed a response, thumbs flying over his phone screen.

drama king 🏀: oh y/n 🌸💫: just 'oh'? y/n 🌸💫: what's wrong

Hyunjin switched his phone off for a few minutes, pondering her question. What was wrong? He'd been feeling so different lately, and not just because of the fact that he'd discovered his true feelings about her.

No matter how hard he tried, there was always some sort of feeling or thought just out of his reach, and it was beginning to tick him off. Usually he was composed with his feelings; he hadn't even been feeling this stuck after he'd cut Yeji off for saying nasty things about Y/n to him. No, he felt worried.

Why am I worried? Is it about the tournament? It could be. Is it because Coach told me after the last practice that I'd have to step my game up if we wanted to win the championship? Or am I doubting my skills even though I've practiced till I ached?

Am I just worried about leaving her?

y/n 🌸💫: hyunjinnie?

Her notification snapped him out of his spiraling, confused thoughts.

drama king 🏀: yeah, sorry drama king 🏀: i just drama king 🏀: i'm gonna miss you

Shit!

He hadn't meant to type that! Frantically, he propped himself up on his elbows and fumbled to navigate to the settings icon, where he switched the wi-fi off. If he was lucky, the message wouldn't go through...

Of course, no such luck.

The 'delivered' icon sat proudly on top of the risky message and Hyunjin fought to keep his phone by his side even though he felt like throwing it out the window. Y/n's typing bubble popped up and he clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to fight the urge to scream and wake everyone else in the household.

y/n 🌸💫: i'll miss you too y/n 🌸💫: but i'm not going anywhere y/n 🌸💫: you can still text me even when you leave for the tournament, you know, if you have time...

Hyunjin stared at the messages, mouth agape in disbelief. Another message popped up under the previous ones.

y/n 🌸💫: if you want to, of course

Hyunjin let a soft, relieved chuckle escape his lips. He could almost hear her frantic, shy tone as she hurriedly reassured him there was no pressure in the matter.

Even though she was saying something that was completely a choice to him, Hyunjin found it endearing that she was making sure he knew he had a choice in the first place.

He typed a response quicker than his fingers could coordinate it.

drama king 🏀: i'd like that. y/n 🌸💫: good y/n 🌸💫: now go to sleep, you maniac

Hyunjin laughed at her response, his eyes crinkling cutely at the corners as he clutched his phone tighter.

Y/n reacted to his previous message with a little black heart, signaling the end of the conversation. Hyunjin froze for a couple seconds before tossing his phone onto the bedside.

Burying his face in his pillow, he kicked his legs, unable to keep the increasingly widening smile from stretching his face til he felt it would split from the force of his happiness.

The butterflies in his stomach fluttered up and out of his throat in the form of a light, bubbly laugh that he hardly recognised as his own.

She really was sweet.

"Alright, boys, line up and I'll count you onto the coach..."

Felix took Hyunjin's arm as they lined up behind the other boys waiting to get onto the coach. They were all dressed in the same, dark tracksuit, with the school logo on the back and white stripes running down the sides of the sleeves and pants.

Hyunjin felt so sleepy he though he would drop where he stood. He looked up the front, where his basketball coach was counting on the boys in pairs.

Everything had been loaded onto the bus; in his daze of reliving the memory of Y/n the night before, Hyunjin hadn't realised that Felix had taken his stuff to be loaded, realising that he was too tired to do it for himself.

He turned and lifted Felix's hand to his mouth, pressing his lips to it in a soft, affectionate gesture. Felix smiled sleepily at him just as Jisung wrapped his arms around Hyunjin's shoulders.

"Hi!" He grinned, nuzzling into Hyunjin's neck.

Hyunjin groaned despite himself. Jisung was about the only one who was awake at the moment; Felix nodded to him subtly and sneaked the half-empty can of Monster from his bag, taking a sip and wincing at the strong, caffeinated flavour. He waved the can in Jisung's face.

"You shouldn't drink this stuff so early, Ji," he chided lightly, handing the can back to his friend, who shoved it into his bag, apparently unaware of the possible dangers of drink spillage.

Hyunjin sighed and looked ahead as Jisung whined a reply to Felix; normally, his friend's boundless energy and comedic antics would have cheered him up.

But for some reason, the pang of irritation he'd been feeling in his gut since he'd found out that Y/n had been sitting with Jisung every math class began to settle in, and this time, it was a lot faster than it had been previously.

But he wasn't sure why.

Hyunjin clenched a fist as Jisung accidentally knocked him in the back harmlessly as he re-enacted something to a friend behind them, sending him forward a step. Their coach was still counting the boys onto the bus, and Hyunjin turned just as Jisung spoke.

"Lixie pixie, wanna sit with me?" Jisung poked Felix's cheek, grinning.

"Sorry," Hyunjin cut in suddenly, aware of the suddenly brusque, cold tone in his voice. "He's sitting next to me."

Felix looked at Hyunjin in surprise, then looked back at Jisung, who had paused, his grin fading a little.

"Oh," he said, his smile returning. "That's okay. I'll sit with Innie instead."

He dropped behind them to clutch at Jeongin's arm, and began talking with him about the latest update to the game they played together, apparently unaffected.

Felix nudged Hyunjin's shoulder just as they were counted onto the coach.

"Jinnie, what's wrong?" He whispered.

Hyunjin gritted his teeth as they walked down the coach aisle, and he settled into the back corner next to the window. Felix sat down beside him, touching his knee worriedly. He made to speak, but was interrupted as their coach called out a few instructions, some of which included 'No sticking your hands out the window to flip passing strangers off' and 'No throwing chewed gum at each other'.

"Standard procedures, really," Felix murmured in Hyunjin's ear. "I wonder if the other boys' basketball teams at the tournament get instructions like that."

Hyunjin smiled despite himself, and propped an elbow against his knee as he tucked it up to his chest. Letting his head rest against the window, which was vibrating slightly with the movement of the bus, he closed his eyes.

Felix stared at him pointedly, eyes flitting to Jisung before fixing themselves on Hyunjin's figure.

"Jinnie."

"Mmm."

"What's wrong? Why'd you snap at Jisung?"

Hyunjin opened his eyes, glaring defensively at his friend. "I didn't."

Felix's voice was low. "Yeah, you did. What happened?"

Hyunjin sighed in exasperation. "Are you gonna laugh at me?"

Felix shook his head vehemently, swaying with the motion of the bus as it headed onto the freeway.

Hyunjin sighed and adjusted himself so he was more comfortably facing his friend. "It's just- I found out that Jisung sits with Y/n every math class."

Felix tilted his head. "So? I thought you didn't mind."

Hyunjin sighed again. "I didn't mind. But- now they're so close, Felix. What if- what if Y/n decides she likes Jisung more than me?"

Felix leaned his head against his friend's shoulder, tucking his knees up to his chest as he rested. "Why would she like him better?"

"Because he's funny, and easy to talk to, and a better basketball player than me, and Y/n gets along so much easier with him-"

"That's not true," Felix looked at him, taken aback. "Y/n gets along well with you. Why are you so worried? You were fine a couple days ago, Jinnie..."

"Because I like her," he blurted out suddenly.

Felix hurriedly clamped a hand over his mouth as a couple of the boys in front of them looked back at Hyunjin in interest, smirking to each other. Glaring at them, Felix waited until they turned back to the front, and lowered his voice, moving closer to Hyunjin. His eyes were wide.

"Took you long enough, man."

Hyunjin tugged on a strand of his blonde, messy hair, pouting. "Don't be mean."

Felix rolled his eyes in response, sighing dramatically. "I knew the second you started talking to her you liked her. Everything was confirmed after you both fell asleep on my couch a couple days ago."

Hyunjin whined, shoving him, trying to tone down the scarlet flush on his cheeks. "Felix!"

"It was cute!" his friend protested. "Besides, you two are adorable together."

Hyunjin groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Do you think she knows?"

Felix shrugged, looking at him pointedly. "Do you think Jisung really likes her?"

"I don't know, but he draws on her hands all the time, which has to mean he likes her, right?"

"Jinnie, he draws on your hands too most days."

Hyunjin looked down at his hands and sighed; true to his friend's word, there were faded, inky doodles of anime characters and cutesy hearts and stars all over the backs of Hyunjin's hands, worn by hand-washing and natural wear.

"Okay, fair point, but still-"

"Jinnie."

Hyunjin threw his hands up, digging through his duffel for his water bottle. His throat had gone suddenly dry. "Okay, fine. Even if Jisung doesn't like her, how am I supposed to fix this?"

"Tell her how you feel, pabo."

Hyunjin spluttered and drew the water bottle away from his mouth, water running down his chin. He thwacked himself in the chest repeatedly.

Glaring at Felix, he protested, his voice suddenly pitching several octaves higher than before. "I can't do that!"

Felix deadpanned at him. "Why not?"

"Because, then it might ruin everything-"

Felix pressed his fingers and thumb together and apart repetitively in a talking motion, rolling his eyes.

Hyunjin flicked his neck, his friend recoiling dramatically, clutching at himself.

"Oh, I am wounded-"

"Shut up." Hyunjin settled back into his seat, crossing his arms. "I just have to wait until I'm ready to tell her. If I tell her."

Felix stopped his dramatics suddenly, poking Hyunjin's shoulder. "Jinnie, if you wait til you're ready, you're gonna be waiting a long time. And who knows? Maybe she feels the same way."

Hyunjin shook his head. "She doesn't. Well, I don't know."

"Do you know that for sure?"

He shook his head again. "I don't know that either."

Felix sighed, settling back into his seat and moving his shoulders, getting comfortable. He slipped his sneakers off and tucked his feet further underneath himself.

"At least talk to Jisung about it. He'll understand."

"And what if he likes her?"

Felix grinned. "Fight to the death."

Hyunjin groaned and let his head thud against the window. The passing scenery outside faded and blurred as it began to rain lightly. A sudden downpour drew surprised explanations from some of the boys, and Hyunjin closed his eyes, hoping to try and catch up on some sleep before they arrived. It was a long bus trip anyway. He'd have plenty of time to sleep, and think over what Felix had said.

Glancing across, he noticed Felix had plugged in his headphones, and was busy listening to some sort of music video he'd downloaded on his phone.

Turning back to the window, Hyunjin traced the droplets of rain sliding down the glass pane, and thought hard. The last championship game was back at school; sort of like the finale of the tournament. Their opponents would travel to the school to verse them in a final game of basketball.

It was during the school day, too; it went from the lunch break to the end of the day. If he had time after the game, maybe he could catch her and tell her how he he felt about her.

But she'd have to show up, he reasoned. She's never not at school, though. I don't think I've ever seen her take a day off. Maybe she just likes being at school better...

He bit his lip. Could he possibly tell her over text? No, he couldn't do that. She might misunderstand something and take it the wrong way. Then everything would be ruined.

Or maybe, he could tell her over a phone call, when he got a chance alone. But there was always a risk that she would forget about the confession once he returned.

Why is this so hard?!

Hyunjin sighed and rested his head on his folded arms, moving so he was leaning onto Felix. He was far more comfortable than the window sill anyway. He lightly scratched Hyunjin's head before resuming the video on his phone.

Hyunjin shut his eyes and made a plan.

First, he would try and focus on the first few games of the tournament; that would surely guarantee an easier path to the championship title.

Then, when he had a free moment, he would find out somehow if Jisung liked Y/n.

Then, he would talk to Y/n over text when he had time, just to sus out whether there was a chance of her liking him.

Finally, he would decide whether to confess to her.

Foolproof plan, he thought to himself sarcastically as his eyelids began to droop.

What could possibly go wrong?

The dorms were wide and spacious; the boys were split into groups of four and sent off from the bus with their things. Hyunjin stopped to help Felix take his suitcase down from the bus well; in his other hand, he held the schedule for the rest of the day.

There was a long, outdoor corridor with a corrugated roof that led down to the boys' dorms; most of the schools in the prefecture had already settled into their respective rooms. There were about 20 schools competing in the tournament, but Hyunjin and Felix didn't see anyone walking around besides a couple of rowdy teenage boys bouncing a basketball.

Most of the teams had arrived several days before, and Hyunjin figured they were most likely out practicing in the main courts behind the dormitory buildings. The sun had finally risen fully, though it was hidden behind a sheen of grey, overcast clouds.

Jisung and Jeongin were already inside when the boys entered. The room smelt faintly of wood and fresh linen, and Jeongin was busy rifling through the cupboards for fresh sheets as Felix set his bag down on the nearest bunk.

There were two bunk beds, set on either side of the wall, and a door one side for the bathroom, the other door being the one they had just entered through.

Hyunjin pressed a finger to the frame of the bunk beds; it was hard steel, set in black. He shivered slightly; the room was cool.

Jisung and Jeongin had already claimed the top bunks, and Felix had sat down on his bed under Jeongin's, leaving Hyunjin the other bottom bunk under Jisung's. Not that he minded; he much preferred the bottom bunk anyway, since he was so tall. He'd had a few extremely close, unfortunate encounters with the ceiling more than once when he'd claimed a top bunk for himself in the past.

The pang of irritation he felt towards Jisung settled down for the time being as Felix handed round the schedule. Jeongin had finished making his bed and he moved to sit beside Hyunjin, reading over his shoulder and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Hyunjin relaxed into the much needed comfort.

They had two hours off to unpack and freshen up, as well as explore the campus. Then they'd eat quickly in the main hall and begin stretching, warming up, and training for the rest of the evening. He looked sideways at Jeongin, who already looked exhausted.

"Today's gonna be so long," he murmured, pouting.

Hyunjin chuckled and ruffled the younger boy's hair, making him squint like a fox. "It's okay, Innie. It'll be over before you know it."

Jeongin pointedly glanced across the room at Felix, who had fallen asleep on the bed. Jisung moved and climbed off the top bunk, settling down next to Felix and wrapping an arm around his torso. They looked as tired as Hyunjin felt, but he knew that if he fell asleep, he ran the risk of missing the practices scheduled for tonight, and he knew Coach would be upset.

So he stood up, with some effort, and moved to the small bathroom to splash water on his face. It was a simple little room; with a bathtub and shower in the corner, hidden by a sliding frosted glass door, and two sinks with a large mirror hanging above it, a towel rack to its left. There was a smaller door to the right, which Hyunjin assumed to be the toilet.

He leaned over the sink, letting his hands dangle in the cold stream of water, attempting to wake himself up a bit more. He looked at himself in the mirror; he was tired and pale, the bruised colour under his eyes prominent and speaking measures to how hard he'd worked in the past few weeks, or how little he'd slept. Turning the tap off with great effort, he touched his lips with a wet finger; they were chapped and split.

"You look like shit," he told himself quietly.

"Innie, pass!"

Felix caught the ball and weaved his way down the court, effortlessly evading the blockers. The thumping of the basketball and the squeaking of shoes reverberated around the court as Hyunjin took his spot near the hoop.

His eyes flitted to Felix before checking both sides for any attackers, and he caught the ball effortlessly, years of muscle memory kicking in. He looked up and leaned onto the balls of his feet, ready to shoot; the blinding white lights overhead glared off the court and made his eyes water, like the sun was coming closer to greet him.

He jumped and shot into the hoop, his palm slapping the net. Flicking his wrist, he watched in satisfaction as the ball slipped through the net, landing on the ground with a pleasing thud.

He high-fived Felix and let Jeongin tackle him in a side hug; looking straight past Jisung, he glanced at his Coach, who nodded and turned away.

Things were looking up.

The rest of the evening practice went smoothly enough; Hyunjin managed to shoot a few more hoops and he was beginning to feel stronger with each resistance drill they went through. He tried to control his breathing as Jeongin held his feet while he did situps.

They were supposed to do forty in four sets; by the third set, Hyunjin began to feel a little dizzy. Jeongin had already done his sets, and Hyunjin could see his chest heaving as he leaned forward, holding firmly onto his sneakers as he bent his middle up and down. His abdomen ached but he pushed forward.

Just a couple more...

It was like someone had switched him off. He collapsed back onto the court, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes from the blinding white court lights. His chest heaved and his torso ached, his abs burning. Suddenly, he felt like he couldn't get up, the energy draining out of him like a broken sandglass.

"Hyunjin, you okay?" Jeongin asked in concern, letting go of Hyunjin's shoes and moving to his side. "Captain?"

He could do nothing but heave; everything hurt so badly and all he'd done was a few situps. He could see Felix and Jisung looking on in concern to his left, and he hated the sympathetic looks the other boys gave him as his coach moved to assess his state.

Stupid, he thought, tears welling in his eyes. You're so weak. Innie did the set just fine. Why can't you?

He moved to get up, gritting his teeth, and pushing Jeongin's hand off of him. But it was replaced by the larger, veiny hand of his coach, who pushed him back down onto the courts, pressing a cloth to Hyunjin's forehead.

"Take it easy," he said. "Just give yourself a couple minutes. Might need to sit tomorrow's game out."

"No," Hyunjin gasped, struggling.

Jeongin rested his hand on the captain's shoulder. "Please, Captain. You've been at it all day, even before the tournament."

Hyunjin sighed and let himself be helped up with some difficulty. He felt humiliated being helped off the court by his coach, Jeongin under his other arm.

Like he was incapable of doing it himself.

But he grudgingly accepted the waterbottle one of the other boys passed to him and he found he was glad to be sitting down, even though he'd much rather have been on the court, shooting hoops and working hard.

It felt strange to sit on the bench and watch as his teammates coordinated perfectly with each other, passing and shooting and communicating, and a strange feeling of affection and pride settled in his stomach, quelling the nausea rising in his throat and the ringing in his head.

Hyunjin knew he was prepared; he'd checked the game strategies over and over, practicing layups and his evasive techniques until he had felt like he would drop. He knew it would bear fruit, but even still, he couldn't help feeling like he could have worked harder. His teammates seemed to be doing fine in regards to the physical exertion, and he was one of the fittest on the team, so why had his body just given up on him all of a sudden?

"Jinnie, you good?"

Felix sat down next to him on the bench, gently bumping his knee with his own. He was sweaty and there was a towel around his neck.

Hyunjin hummed, not taking his eyes off the floor. "Yeah."

"You just sort of- collapsed."

"I didn't. I just felt so tired all of a sudden."

Felix took a swig of his water, exhaling. "You look really pale, man. Give yourself a break."

"I want to play."

Felix leaned back on his hands and laid one over Hyunjin's hand, which was gripping the side of the bench. "I know you do, but if you keep working so hard, you're gonna give out even worse. What are we gonna do if you drop to the floor in the middle of the game?"

Hyunjin grumbled. "The team can play without me then."

"We need our captain."

"No, you don't."

Felix looked taken aback, and perhaps a little hurt. "Jinnie, come on. Is this all because of Jisung?"

He scoffed. "No."

"Then what?"

Hyunjin gritted his teeth. "It's nothing."

"Hwang Hyunjin."

"I just don't know whether I'm good enough!" He threw his hands up. "Okay? I don't know. I haven't been doing my best."

Felix looked sad. "Hyun, you've been working harder than any of us."

"I just don't know whether it's enough."

Felix put a hand on his shoulder. "It's not about how much you can do. It's about what all of us can do. Together. You can't play basketball solo, or do anything else alone for that matter."

Hyunjin sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Then what? I know you're trying to help, but I still feel so- stuck."

Felix's voice was soft as he gazed at his friend. "Coach gave you the rest of the evening off. Take a walk or go back to the dorm and rest. Or go and talk to Y/n. Maybe she can help."

"Do you think so?"

Felix nodded. Hyunjin made to get up, nodding once to his friend in sincere thanks.

He dialled Y/n's number as he left the gym.

"So, how is it?" Y/n's voice was teasing through the phone. "Is it everything you ever dreamed of?"

Hyunjin scoffed and leaned against the railing. He was on the upper floor of the boys' dorms, leaning over over the metal bars and letting the evening breeze ruffle his hair. The lights were off too, currently, so he was bathed in a dimness that brought a strange comfort to his heart, relaxing the ache he felt in his muscles and blanketing a sense of peace over his being.

Or maybe that was just Y/n.

"Yeah, it's good."

"Just good?"

"I feel so tired for some reason," he said quietly, switching his phone to speaker mode. "I'm just worried I'm not doing enough."

Y/n's voice floated around him as he replied. It was like a warm hug. "I mean, you are captain. That comes with its own burdens and responsibilities. But you have the rest of your team to rely on too, if things go wrong."

"Felix said the same thing."

Y/n's tone became insistent. "And he's right. You don't have to do it alone."

Hyunjin scoffed again, blurting out something rather nasty. "You're one to talk."

He regretted it as soon as he'd said it; his eyebrows creased at the realisation of his own stupidity and he noticed the line had gone silent. He bit his lip.

Y/n's voice came through, softer this time. "I'm not alone. I have you, and Felix, and Jisung."

"I'm sorry, it came out so harsh, just-"

"I know, you're exhausted. You sound exhausted too. It's okay. Have you slept?"

"Not much," he said quietly, running a finger along the edge of his phone.

Y/n let out a little chuckle. "Do me a favour."

"Yeah?"

"Are you in your dorm, or your room or whatever?"

Hyunjin glanced out over the railing, the night breeze lifting his hair from his forehead and providing some much-needed relief. "No."

"Go to your dorm."

Hyunjin did as she said, letting himself fall silent save for the sound of his footsteps as he headed to his room. Shutting the door behind himself, he glanced around the dark, empty room. He switched Jeongin's little portable puppy lamp on, bathing the room in a soft, golden glow.

"Okay, I'm here."

"Open your bag. The red and black one."

He did so.

"Go to the left pocket."

Hyunjin paused, feeling suspicious. "There better not be something alive and kicking in my bag, Y/nnie."

She laughed, the sound high and pretty, though a little manic. "Nah, you're good. Go ahead, open the pocket."

Hyunjin put his phone down beside him and unzipped the inner pocket. Inside was a sleek cardboard box with a pull tab at the top and a paper of some sort. He could hear Y/n giggling away on the line.

Bringing both the items to his face, Hyunjin realised what they were. A box of Y/n's trademark colourful bandaids and a little note. He unfolded it and set the bandaid box down gently.

Good luck with the basketball tournament, Hyune! Cheering for you, just make sure you don't fall over too much. The bandaids are just in case you do. For the love of everything, make sure you take care of yourself too.

Y/n

Tears welled up in Hyunjin's eyes. "Are these for me? How- how did you do it?"

Y/n chuckled. "I got Felix to sneak them into your bag for me. Do you like it?"

"Yes, I love it. Thank you so much. I lo-"

He froze. Taking a deep breath, he fought to stay composed. His voice had gone quieter.

"I really miss you, Y/n."

"It's been a day, Hyune. Can I call you that?"

"Yeah, but still. And sure."

There was a pause on the other side of the line. Then Y/n spoke in a quiet, hesitant voice.

"I miss you too, Hyune."

Then she ended the call.

Hyunjin blinked for a few seconds, stunned. He sat down heavily and picked up the bandaid box. Y/n had doodled his signature little ferret next to the brand label and drawn a tiny heart and star next to it.

Hyunjin sat in the lamplight and cried.

"Lix, time to get up."

"Nauhh.."

Hyunjin sighed, adjusting his feet on the steel ladder of the bunk bed, and leaning over the top to look at Felix. All he could see of his friend was his fluffy, messy head of blonde hair and a stray foot poking out the bottom of the bed. He tugged lightly on a strand of Felix's hair and climbed onto the bed entirely.

Laying down next to his friend, he ignored the shouting and whining coming from the bathroom, most likely Jeongin and Jisung fighting over who got to use the bathroom first.

"Lix," he murmured, pulling the covers away. "Come on. First game of the tournament."

"I don't want to.."

Hyunjin sighed. "Would you rather stay here and sleep?"

"Duh."

Rolling his eyes and feeling no irritation whatsoever, Hyunjin brushed a gentle finger down Felix's cheek, whispering sweet nothings to him until he woke up entirely. He really did look like a sweet, sleepy chicken.

Once Felix had climbed down from his warm nest on his bunk with some gentle coaxing and promises of a biscuit from the breakfast in the main hall, Hyunjin freshened up himself, slipping on a plain dark shirt and shorts. Jisung had already left to catch them all seats and Jeongin was busy making a phone call to someone outside. Hyunjin took Felix's hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and told him go ahead to Jisung at the main hall.

"I have something to do," he said quietly to him.

Hyunjin shut the dormitory door and sank down against it, the floor cold against his bare feet. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He could do this. All he had to do was get through the day and do his best in the game.

He was the captain and the star player.

He could win one basketball game.

Exhaling, he stood and took his jersey from his bag, slipping out of his plan shirt and pulling his shorts on. He took his sneakers from their bag and opened the door of the dormitory. He began walking down the hallway, letting his bare feet pad against the concrete, socks shoved in his pocket. He rounded the corner and immediately ducked behind it, almost hitting his head on the wall. His heart pounded as he processed what he'd just seen.

Felix was standing next to the entrance to the gym, talking to a girl.

A girl.

What the heck? I thought it was just the boys' tournament here!

Peeking around the corner, he stared curiously at the girl. She was of average height with long, sleek, dark hair and a blonde streak through it. She was wearing a sleeveless jersey and a pair of shorts. There were black arm and knee pads on her joints, and some of the blonde streak in her hair was falling into her face.

She must a volleyballer. Jeongin told me a while ago that their tournament included a short stop here. Maybe that's it.

Hyunjin watched on nosily as the girl teasingly hit Felix on the shoulder, nothing more than a testing touch. He smirked as his friend blushed, laughing and responding in what looked like a shy, shaky way. The girl laughed in the same manner.

Awkward idiots, Hyunjin thought with a grin. He checked his watch; he had a couple minutes before the game commenced. Hopefully Felix would come to his mind and realise he had a team waiting for him.

Hyunjin turned and took the long way around to the court.

The gym was a hustle and bustle of different teams and coaches in a variety of different colours of uniforms, some on the court, some off. Most of the teams were split amongst their assigned courts, most training and warming up with their respective coaches. Hyunjin navigated to the back court, where his own team was, and began to help the younger members stretch and go over game tactics.

Felix came in just as everyone began to line up to bow to the other team, skidding into place next to Hyunjin, who shook hands with the other team's captain before stepping back into place.

"Forgot about the game, hmm?" He murmured, smirking.

Felix scoffed. "Forgot about breakfast, did you?"

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, keeping them then trained on the opponent's captain. "Shut up. Make sure your little girlfriend doesn't make you late next time."

Felix went red, not looking at Hyunjin as the referee went through the standard procedures for the game. "Could say the same thing about you and Y/n. But sure, I won't be late next time. Sorry, Captain."

Hyunjin playfully patted Felix's back as they took their positions on the court. Hyunjin stood, poised and knees bent, eyes fixed on the ball that the referee held between him and the opponent's power forward. He'd done this plenty of times; the ball toss was one of the reasons he was the star player of the team.

The whistle blew and Hyunjin leapt, almost feeling his opponent's chest brush against his own. He slapped it out of reach and Hyunjin landed lightly, sprinting after it and beginning to weave his way down the court with Jeongin.

Four hoops and thirty minutes later, Hyunjin sat down on the bench, congratulating his team members on their performance so far. He took a swig of water and wiped his face with a towel. The note from Y/n was tucked into the pocket of his shorts, zipped up, and Hyunjin reached a finger inside to touch it lightly.

It was like his little lucky charm.

The red numbers on the clock read five minutes left as the game resumed.

Four.

Hyunjin passed to Felix, who ducked from an opponent and passed to Jisung, who made his way down to the hoop, where Hyunjin was sprinting.

Three.

Eyes fixed on his friend and ready to receive the ball, Hyunjin took a step back, almost crossing the boundary line.

Two.

Stumbling, he ducked under his opponent's arm and stepped in front of him, eyes fixed on the ball as it flew through the air to him.

One.

Catching it and almost slipping, he leapt and shot into the hoop above him, his torso twisting awkwardly to accommodate the shot.

The buzzer rang loudly as the ball fell through the hoop. Landing, Hyunjin slipped as his opponent shoved him harshly in the ribs.

He fell hard on his side and found a smile gracing his sweaty face, though he felt winded. Trying to suck air into his lungs and almost laughing at their first victory, he struggled into a sitting position, cradling his left forearm.

Felix and Jeongin tackled him in a hug, Jisung lifting him up. Hyunjin didn't even notice, overwhelmed by the realisation that they'd won the game and the slowly increasing throbbing pain in his forearm.

Ten minutes later, Hyunjin sat in the gym infirmary, cradling his arm as the nurse wrapped a bandage around it, throwing the bleeding tissues in the bin. He'd fallen and scraped it, resulting in a nasty friction burn and an even nastier bruise. His wrist hurt a little but the nurse assured him it would fade.

Felix sat grinning in the corner, having walked him to the infirmary in the first place. He was as sweaty and exhausted as Hyunjin felt, though a disapproving glare twinged his features.

"That guy shoved you really hard," he stood and stretched after the nurse had left.

"Yup," Hyunjin grinned. He wasn't even angry, flushed with the sheen of victory. "Oh, well."

Felix peered at the bandage. "Gonna use one of Y/n's bandaids?"

Hyunjin nodded, turning his forearm over and stroking a finger along the interior, feeling the rough bandage under his fingertip. It had looked pretty bad and had bled even more, but he knew he could push on til the end of the tournament. Until he saw Y/n, he was going to work as hard as he could.

He could hold out til then.

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lonely st. ✧ chapter iii : the walls

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: mentions of injuries, hyunjin is clumsy, sad y/n, mentions of blood, nothing too graphic, descriptions of a panic attack

a/n: chapter three hehe, still going strong >:)

series masterlist | skz masterlist

Y/n trudged into the library, slumping down into her usual chair. Placing her forehead over her folded arms with a huff, she closed her eyes and tried to rest. It had been a particularly rough day, with the usual feeling of isolation eating at her more than it usually did. It wasn’t unusual for her to go whole school days without so much as saying a word, but it felt stranger today for some reason.

She figured it must be because of Hyunjin.

They had talked yesterday, when she had slipped him the little chicken bandaid, but she hadn’t seen him in the morning before school, or in form classes either. She found she strangely sort of missed him. It was like walking outside one morning, expecting it to be sunny, but instead it was raining.

No, pouring down.

Sighing, she nuzzled further into her arms and dozed for a while, inhaling the scent of her jumper. Turning her head to the side to get more comfortable, she noticed a pair of white and black basketball shoes under the table next to her own polished black shoes. Her heart thudded and she raised her head sleepily, her eyes meeting Hyunjin’s.

He was busy working on something yet again; some sort of essay. Y/n realised it was the one that had been handed out in class earlier that day. She swore she’d seen him finish it halfway before shoving it into his backpack and practically bolting to the gym. He’d been scribbling incessantly then, clearly in a rush, but here he was, sitting quietly next to her, writing with precision, his pencil pausing every few words to think out his next phrase. Y/n had never seen him so focused.

Resting her head cautiously on her forearms, Y/n watched him mutely, the sound of his pencil scratching against the paper the only sound in the otherwise silent library.

“Hi, Y/n,” he said quietly without taking his eyes off the paper.

Y/n flushed, not expecting him to catch her out. Her face flushed red and she sat up, unnecessarily adjusting the oversized sleeve of her dark blazer.

“Hi.”

A gentle smile graced Hyunjin’s lips. “Were you watching me?”

Y/n glared at him coldly.

He laughed, his eyes slitting. “Okay, alright, chill. I thought you fell asleep until you turned your head.”

“I did fall asleep.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry if I woke you.”

The question that had been in the back of Y/n’s mind suddenly sprung from her lips before she could hold herself back. “Why do you always sit here, Hyunjin?”

His head snapped up, pencil stilling in his fingertips, looking surprised and a little hurt. Y/n immediately regretted it, realising how harsh she’d sounded. Not knowing what to do, she pressed her mouth into a line, waiting for him to reply.

His voice was quiet when he spoke. “Do you not like it when I sit here?”

Y/n blinked, taken aback. “It’s- it’s just that you’re one of the most popular people in the grade, but you choose to sit here every lunchtime instead of playing basketball with your friends, or, I don’t know, being anywhere else except here. Hyunjin, I- it just doesn’t make sense.”

He sat up straighter. “It does make sense.”

Y/n shook her head. Hyunjin grabbed the bottom of her chair, turning it forcefully towards himself, so that he was eye-to-eye with her. Y/n’s shoulders tensed, her hands clenching the seat as Hyunjin leaned forward. His eyes were dark, captivating. Y/n gulped, her back straight against the chair, as Hyunjin’s arms rested on the sides.

“It does make sense,” he whispered sincerely. “I want to be friends with you.”

Y/n slammed the cubicle door shut behind herself. Sliding all the way down to the floor, she gasped, head falling into her hands.

Why did I run away?

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to forget the past few minutes. He’d just been talking to her, telling her he wanted to be friends, and she’d pushed him away, bolting from the library.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You’re so stupid.

Maybe it had been the forced proximity. Maybe it was the way Hyunjin had locked at her, dark, slitted eyes gazing into hers with the most kindness she’d been treated with in a long time. And it had scared her, felt so bizarrely unfamiliar, that she couldn’t stand to be near him any longer.

It was too risky. Hyunjin was too risky. All of it was.

Y/n’s back began to hurt from the curled up position, so she stretched a leg out and rested it on top of the closed toilet seat, eyes idly tracing the stitching on her shoes. A hot tear slipped down her cheek, followed by a few more, each one making her sink deeper into her thoughts. The only sound that could be heart from the otherwise quiet bathroom was muffled sobbing and gasping, echoing from the cold, lonely cubicle at the end of the row.

Hyunjin was probably just pulling some elaborate dare, trying to get her to open up so he could expose her and make her look like a total idiot. He was popular, sporty, handsome, so it made no sense for someone like him to be hanging around someone like her.

Y/n wiped her tears, and made a mental note to keep her distance.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin stood in the library, frozen. He’d gotten up and tried to stop her from leaving, but she’d fled like a wild hare, and now he wasn’t sure what to do. He was standing, hand outstretched, and now there was no Y/n to take it.

Stupid, Hyunjin thought. What was I thinking? I scared her off and now she might never talk to me again.

He leaned against the solid wooden table with a sigh, his hands clenching the edge. Dropping his head, his mind whirred as he tried to think of a way to make her understand that he wasn't a threat, he wasn't making fun of her, he wasn't trying to pull off some stupid, popular boy dare.

Hyunjin stumbled as the table behind him shifted and his lower back knocked against the solid surface. Wincing at the dull pain, he put a hand over the ache and hissed out through his teeth. He squeezed his eyes shut, sinking down to the floor, and tucked his long legs to his chest, grumpily blowing a bang out of his eyes.

What Jisung had said earlier in the day began to make sense. What was it he had said?

I'm just worried about you getting caught up in something you don't understand.

And he was right. So, so right. Hyunjin had to admit it to himself; he had no clue what Y/n was going through. If he was being honest, he didn't even know what sort of person she was. Maybe Jisung was right; maybe she chose to be alone, maybe she didn't mind the whispers behind her back, or simply chose not to pay attention to it. Maybe it was just a lifelong thing, and she was used to it, or perhaps didn't even realise how alone she was.

But surely, no one wants to be alone for that long.. He had no clue. His head spun with the possibilities. Maybe it was something at home, or a mental thing. Or she had trauma, or maybe she just didn't mesh well with most people. But Hyunjin had seen her with some of the girls, Sangmi and Ha-eun for sure, and Yeji too... if she had friends, why didn't she hang out with them? Why did she spend every single breaktime in the library alone, and avoid talking to anyone

"Maybe she's just scared," he said quietly to himself.

The bell rung.

"See you later, Hyunjin!"

Jisung jogged off to catch the bus, Felix at his tail. Hyunjin watched the chaotic pair shove each other onto the bus, fighting to scan their cards first, and simultaneously clashing heads. Hyunjin chuckled, rolling his eyes, and then turned and walked away in the opposite direction, down the street.

He trudged a little as he went, still feeling remarkably downcast. He wasn't sure why Y/n's rejection of the offer of his friendship had stung so much. Maybe it was just because he wasn't used to having people reject him. If anything, it was usually the opposite.

He pondered this as he walked. He couldn't really remember a time where people hadn't wanted to talk to him, or had at the very least rejected his attention. Girls liked him, and vied with their friends for his attention, his teachers and his basketball coach liked him very much, singing his praises, and he was a popular figure both in his friend group and at home. He wondered if it was all going to his head.

No, he told himself firmly. If it had all gone to my head, I wouldn't be thinking about it in the first place.

Hyunjin was so distracted by his thoughts that his foot caught on a stray tree branch lying near the edge of the pathway. He stumbled unceremoniously, arms flailing, scraping his knees painfully on the concrete.

"Shit," he swore. "Fuck, ow..."

Groaning, Hyunjin looked ahead, calculating how far he had left to walk home. He spotted a familiar figure up ahead, trudging into the distance like he had a few minutes earlier. His heart lifted.

Y/n.

Wincing, he stood up, his knees crying a sharp protest. Chiding himself for the unexpected fall, he took a tentative step forward, trying to ignore the stinging pain radiating from his joints. How was he supposed to play basketball like this? The championship was soon. He didn't have time to be messing around with knee injuries.

Hyunjin inhaled sharply and braced himself for the pain, beginning to run. Forget about the scrapes. He had to fix things with Y/n, let her know that he actually wanted her around, and meant no harm.

Probably not the best idea to chase after her like a psychopath, his rationality told him sensibly. But it sounded so far off, and frankly, Hyunjin just wanted the logical voice to shut up. Even if it meant his knees would be screaming for the rest of the night.

Being a basketballer, Hyunjin's footsteps were light and agile, so Y/n didn't hear him coming. She stopped and turned around just as Hyunjin did, so that they nearly collided, his nose brushing hers.

Y/n recoiled sharply, flinching, and Hyunjin immediately took two paces back, not wishing to scare her. Her hands lowered themselves slowly and pressed themselves over her heart like she was in shock.

Hyunjin stopped dead in his tracks. Her face was streaked with tears, her eyes puffy, and her nose red from presumably rubbing it repetitively. Without a word, Hyunjin reached into his pocket and drew out a tissue, holding it out to her slowly.

Y/n glared at him. She looked about as defenceless and intimidating as an angry kitten. She turned and began walking away, her hands gripping the strap of her bag tighter, knuckles turning white.

"Y/n, please. Just wait."

Sighing, she stopped. Turning around, she regarded him with a wary, suspicious glare. Her voice was cracked and broken. "What?"

Hyunjin sighed, holding out the tissue and stepping just a tiny bit closer.

Y/n took it with two fingertips like she was afraid he was going to jump on her. Her eyes never left Hyunjin's face, and it reminded him strangely of the way birds at the park would cautiously take a breadcrumb if you scattered it near them.

She blew her nose, sniffed, and then scrubbed a hand under her eyes, the skin red and raw.

Sniff. "Happy?"

Hyunjin nodded. "I'm sorry I scared you at breaktime, grabbing your chair like that. I just- I really do want to be friends with you."

Y/n sighed dully. "I know this is some stupid dare, Hyunjin. Can you just leave me alone?"

Hyunjin spluttered, taken aback. "W-what? Dare? No, no, I mean it."

Y/n's brows furrowed. "That makes no sense, like I said earlier."

A pang of subconscious affection coursed momentarily through Hyunjin's veins. His eyes softened.

"Like I said too, it does make sense. Just because we're from different friend groups doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"It's high school, Hyunjin. That's exactly what it means."

He shook his head. "Nuh-uh."

Y/n huffed, still glaring. Hyunjin was almost impressed with how long she'd managed to retain the same laser-focused, disapproving gaze.

"Don't you have enough friends?"

"You aren't the only one who feels lonely, Y/n."

She went silent. Hyunjin bit his lip in slight panic, wondering if he'd overstepped a boundary. Was he making too many assumptions? Had he made her uncomfortable or worse, come across as someone who 'knew' everything about her? His heart sank, already knowing what her reply would be.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, almost inaudibly.

Hyunjin's head snapped up so fast he was sure it would be sore later. His head swum for a second as he fought to register her words.

"What?"

Y/n repeated herself, though a little irritatedly. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise that you were- you know. Feeling alone or whatever..."

She's choosing her words so carefully, he realised. She's so wary around me, and she still thinks that I'm faking. That all of this is some elaborate dare. Y/n, I would never.

Hyunjin's rationality piped up in the back of his head.

Tell her that, idiot!

He continued. "I, um... I mean it. It's just that- I've seen you, um, by yourself a lot, and I wanted you to know that my door is always open... and maybe we could be friends. Or at least classmates who talk to each other..."

Y/n raised a cautious eyebrow.

Hyunjin rushed to correct himself, waving his hands frantically back and forth. "S-sometimes! We can talk sometimes, or, I don't know, as much as you want if you're not that much of a talker-"

Y/n's brain whirred. Either Hyunjin was being genuine and he actually wanted her around, or he was just a really good actor. And Y/n was perceptive, knowing exactly when and how someone was lying, but the suspicion just didn't kick in as easily with Hyunjin as it normally did with everyone else.

Maybe he meant it.

But being friends, or acquaintances with him is still incredibly risky, Y/n reasoned stubbornly. It gives him an opening to hurt me. He could potentially strike as soon as he realises that I've let my guard down.

She glanced at him. A sorry sight, with his hair ruffled from the wind, and the chicken bandaid across his cheekbone beginning to unstick a little at the edges. His eyebrows were creased in worry and anticipation, his eyes slitting a little with the expression.

His bottom lip was caught between his teeth and she could see him wringing his hands, the faint sheen of sweat making them slip together. His bag was halfway off his shoulder, uniform shirt disheveled. One shoelace was untied and oh, fuck, Hyunjin, what did he do to his knees?

Y/n exhaled slightly, perhaps a little desperately.

It's not like I've got much left to lose.

Every instinct she'd build up over the years screamed at her not to reply, but the words fought themselves out of her mouth anyway, hesitant and shaky.

"Fine. We can be... classmates. Who talk, or whatever."

Hyunjin smiled so brightly Y/n thought his face would split in half. She felt an unusual warm, fuzzy feeling settling suddenly in her stomach. Maybe she was ill. She never felt like that.

"Thanks," he grinned. It softened to a little smile. Clearly his relief at her grudging agreement was profound. He must have been really hoping she would say yes.

A few stones crumbled down from Y/n's walls, letting in a ray of sunlight.

"So, um.. your knees."

Hyunjin winced, hauling his bag a little higher on his shoulder. The other strap hung, pressed against his back as he walked. Y/n wondered idly why backpack companies didn't just manufacture bags with one strap. It's not like anyone used both straps, not even Y/n herself.

"Yeah," he said, huffing it on an exhale. "I, um, fell."

Y/n looked up at him. "When?"

"Around ten minutes ago. I got distracted and tripped on a tree branch."

Y/n sighed, glancing at his knees, then his shoes.

"Your socks are stained."

Hyunjin swore and swiped a tissue from his pocket, dabbing at the stream of blood dripping from his knees. Y/n frowned in concern.

"You should really get that checked out."

Hyunjin glanced up at her, exasperated. "I have to make it home first. Speaking of, I didn't realise you lived around here."

Y/n nodded warily. "I think it's a few streets down from where you live. I think."

Hyunjin nodded quietly in reply. There was silence but for the sounds of their pattered, slow footsteps and a soft jingling. Hyunjin realised it was coming from Y/n's bag. She had so many keyrings. A couple Sanrio characters, a coupe anime-related badges and pins, and a silver chain pinned to the top of her bag, hanging down to be pinned again at the front pocket. There were safety pins and beads and Hyunjin found himself wondering how long it'd taken her to collate all of the items.

"That's really cool," he said quietly to her. "All of the badges and pins and stuff."

Y/n stuttered, clearly not knowing how to respond. Truthfully, she'd been nudging it more to her right side, away from Hyunjin's gaze as he walked on her left side. She was half-afraid he would judge her or think she was trying to be quirky or something like that.

She cleared her throat and looked down at the pavement as they walked.

"Thanks."

Hyunjin tilted his head curiously. "How long did it take you to put on all of the stuff?"

Y/n hummed. "Don't know. I just add them whenever I feel like it."

Hyunjin gave her an admiring smile. "I bet you'd have to be really careful since it's fiddly. It probably took a lot of focus."

Y/n let a tiny, rueful smile escape. "It took a lot of pinpricked fingers too."

Hyunjin threw his head back and laughed, the sound joyful in the afternoon light. Y/n's depressed spirit lifted just a tiny bit.

He really was interested. But she toned it back, not wanting to scare him off, or worse, come across as overenthusiastic or cringy.

They kept walking until the end of the street, where it rounded a corner in front of a large willow tree. Y/n stopped walking.

"My house is round that street," she said vaguely, still a bit wary.

"Oh," Hyunjin said, feeling suddenly downcast. Had the walk really been that short?

He gave her another smile anyway, hoping to ease her worries. "I, um. I'm gonna keep walking. My house is just round that corner and down the street there."

Y/n nodded, apparently having nothing more to say.

Hyunjin nodded back awkwardly. He turned and began walking away from her, the leafy, soft strands of the fallen willow leaves chasing at his heels. The throbbing in his knees suddenly became more apparent; he hadn't even realised he'd been in pain, too distracted with talking to Y/n as they had walked.

Magic, Hyunjin thought. His hand gripped the strap of his backpack a little tighter as he tried not to look back.

"Hyunjin, wait..."

His hopes lifted suddenly and he turned back, looking at Y/n. He took a careful step towards her, a little pace. She gestured him back awkwardly. Approaching her, he noticed she was holding out a little paper, folded in half.

"Here," she said shyly, not looking him in the eyes.

Hyunjin took it from her gently, their fingertips brushing. He carefully unfolded it, the small weight inside turning out to be four bandaids. His cheeks warmed with affection at her hesitant gesture.

"Thank you," he said gratefully.

Y/n nodded stiffly, whispering a quiet 'bye' as Hyunjin turned and walked away. She watched him go, still registering the whole interaction. Was he lying? Was he faking? Or did he mean it, mean all of it?

Y/n couldn't decide. Her brain logically filtered out conclusions, each thought a brick building up the battlements, but she couldn't deny the butterflies in her stomach. He'd noticed her and she hadn't even needed to reach out first. Despite Hyunjin's apparent amiable nature, she couldn't help but feel that there was still some sort of catch. She made another mental note to keep an eye out for any sign that his interest in her could be fake. Because there was always a chance it was some sick little game.

Having to be cautious all of the time was exhausting but she told herself firmly to keep her guard up around him. After all, he was just another person in her class, another person who could hurt her, another person who could take her heart as soon as she offered it and smash it to pieces on the floor.

Or the could be classmates.

Who talked, or whatever.

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