You Can Try Hard To Forget The Holiday Of 4/13 But You Won't. I Won't Let You.

Victory Spoils

Mallek Adalov x Male!Reader

When you made this bet you had phrased it as a half joke. Nothing serious, easily waved off as two immature idiots having a go at each other. A ‘winner takes all’ type of deal, hell you figured Mallek would forget the original bet after a few rounds. 

Empty chip bags littered the ground, their shiny surfaces only illuminated by the glow of the TV as Mallek destroyed you at COD. You were half convinced he was cheating, Call of Duty wasn’t even an Alternian game. That was why you’d picked it. In all your years on Alternia you hadn’t found a single troll equivalent that wasn’t flarping. Which- terrifying honestly. With troll’s propensity for violence you figured COD would have had its debut on a planet like this. But it hadn’t and so you had ignorantly assumed this would be the game you’d beat Mallek at. 

“There is no possible way you aren’t cheating!” You shouted barely maintaining your grip on the controller not to throw it across the room as you threw your arms in the air. How was he this good at it? He had to be cheating there was no way-

“Maybe you just suck at this dude.” He shrugged teasingly, a grin spreading across his face as you spluttered indignantly. 

Glaring up at him from where you’d taken the floor and a pillow to get comfy you only grew more enraged by his clear enjoyment of your loss. 

“Bullshit! How are you good at this?! COD isn’t even on Alternia!”

“Ha!” He laughed, “You call this ‘COD’? That = ridiculous. Start the next round.” 

“Oh fuck you.” You snapped turning back to the screen. With your back to him you missed the way Mallek seemed to zero in on the game with a single minded focus that would have been terrifying to be on the receiving end of. You had no idea what you’d just dangled in front of him with your bet, and how could you? He’d been nothing but careful in making sure you had no idea. 

You were his robobuddy after all.

He’d entertained round after round of this game, ruthlessly tearing through enemies in a way that would have brought a tear of pride to The Empress herself. In the beginning he’d briefly entertained the thought of letting you win a round or two, just to prolong the inevitable, but it died in the face of your clear indignation at being thwarted in your own playing field. Now he was simply driving the losses home with each and every win he stacked up. 

Groaning in defeat you tossed the controller aside. The bet entirely forgotten as you grumbled and pouted to no one in particular. 

“Damn. I guess I’ll have to find another game to beat you at, huh Mallek?” You hummed, regaining some of your cheer as you stood and stretched out your back. It popped satisfyingly as you bent yourself nearly in half. Behind you Mallek was unusually silent.

“Mallek?” You questioned turning towards him in concern. In a flash you found yourself pinned under him to the couch. 

“I win.” He hummed, settling himself between your legs contentedly. Stretching himself out like a snake as he got comfortable you could only blink up at him in momentary confusion.

“Uh, yeah..?”

Mallek’s smile was snake-like as he stared down at you and it took more strength of will than you were comfortable with not to shift in arousal. God you hoped you weren’t about to pop a boner that would be beyond awkward. You felt like prey and not in the scary ‘you’re going to die way’ either. He settled further on top of you, arms bracketing your head as he continued staring. Swallowing thickly you found yourself staring back at him. 

“Remember your little bet?” He asked leaning down further, it took a minute for your brain to catch up. Breath caught in your lungs and eyes wide you attempted to back up only to realize how futile it was when you were already pressed into the couch. 

“Oh-,” There were about fifty excuses you could think of off the top of your head.

Every last one of them fled the minute Mallek said those next little words that sealed your fate completely. 

“I’m gonna own you.” 

Marvus Xoloto x Reader

You first saw him again on TV of all things. Some nameless talk show that played so late at night it could almost be considered early morning. You wouldn’t have paid it any mind- just simple white noise as you tried to convince your body to just sleep. Of course, sleep was made impossible when you registered exactly who was on your shitty little TV. Wide awake and in disbelief you watched Marvus go through those familiar routines you’d come to expect from him a life time ago. He was selling his act so well you knew that the reviews would be a never ending loop of praise. It wasn’t at all surprising of him and you found yourself smiling as fragments of old memories floated to the surface. Knowing him he’d collapse on the first vaguely soft surface he found and sleep well into the afternoon before his PR team blew up his phone. The thought finally drew you into action. Pulling out your phone you opened up Chittr for the first time in a long time and set about finding Marvus. It wasn’t hard. Finding a celebrity was always the easy part. Shooting off a friend request you hoped he’d see it. With luck he might realize it was you and accept. You didn’t bother with anything else as you turned off the TV. It wasn’t helping you sleep and Marvus wouldn’t see your request until the weekend if at all. Trudging from the couch to your bed you contemplated texting Polypa. She was always ready to talk with you when you couldn’t sleep. It was tempting- especially if she felt like sneaking into your house to spend time with you. She never asked for an invite, always just showing up on your couch or already in your bed. A long time ago you might have been put out by that. But it was a long time ago for a reason. Now you were used to the casual breaking and entering she did. You’d offered to let her live with you but she’d told you that she hadn’t wanted anything in her job leading back to you. It didn’t surprise you that she was still an assassin even on Earth. She was good at what she did. 

Flopping down onto your bed you let your phone drop onto the mattress with you. Sleep was slow coming but it was coming. Finally. Eyes closing you could feel your body start to sink further into sleep like a rock in water. Which was, of course, the moment your phone buzzed with a notification. Snatching it up off the bed you glared blurry eyed down at it until your sight finally focused. 

Marvus accepted your friend request!

Oh, well then. It looked as if things were looking up. With a smile you set your phone back down and closed your eyes. Your phone buzzed again and figuring it might be Marvus you picked it back up. 

Zebruh sent you a friend request!

Oh hell no. 

homestuck is old enough to start playing sburb today...... incredible

Fandom Masterlist

Ah fuck here we go. Trying to keep this up to date will be an adventure.

HOMESTUCK

FRIENDSIM/PESTERQUEST

TRANSFORMERS

MARVEL

616 MARVEL

DC

SONIC (plot twist I adore my fast boy and friends)

POKEMON

STAR TREK

ARCANE

STAR WARS

THE ARCANA

LOTR

TMNT

X-MEN

HETALIA

SUPERNATURAL

BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA (not confident in this one but I've read the Manga and watched the anime so...)

FNAF

SHERLOCK

I may be at work right now but istg if I have time tonight I'm gonna be posting so much more stuff.

A little tasting menu of what I have done and waiting to be posted after this damn work shift:

Lights Part 5

Voidrot!Female Reader x Sollux

Fnaf drabble request that had me cackling and wishing I had a decent drawing tablet.

The horniest sacrilegious altar/confessional booth porn I've never been more delighted to see in my inbox.

And some other stuff that I'm going to try and work on today after work if I get the time!

A pair of captors for 22:22 2/22/22! Happy twosday!

have ya’ll heard about “Kinou Nani Tabeta?”

based on Yoshinaga Fumi’s manga by the same name, it’s a slice-of-life food-focused JDrama about a couple in their 40s who live together, a hairdresser by the name of Kenji Yabuki and his boyfriend Shiro Kakei who is a lawyer but also loves to cook.

it has been praised for its healthy and realistic depiction of gay domestic life, as well as what the various issues and nuances of being gay. Including:

Heteros™ that mean well

Gay Fear™

supportive straight women listening to the gays rant

well-meaning “when are you gonna get married?” parents

supportive parents!

misconceptions

especially about heteronormativity 

gay civil issues (also gay elders!!!!!!)

being out (or not) at work

trying to live your truth

and most importantly…

GAY PEOPLE BEING HAPPY

thank you for coming to my ted talk

hi idk if you like to hear other peoples headcanons so if you dont pls ignore but i want to talk to SOMEONE about my silly purpleblood headcanon

-

alright so; face paint. i dont particularly like the "every purpleblood is a clown" thing (but if you do then hell yeah go off love is real) as it kinda limits the character variety of that caste, but i DO like the face paint as a detail so ive settled with this: i headcanon that the face paint purples are prone to wear is not a Clown thing nor a Cult thing, but a cultural thing. all (or most) purplebloods wear a coat of face paint to symbolically conceal themselves. showing your bare face to someone youre not close/in a quadrant with is seen as a taboo in purpleblood cultures. additionally, letting a quadantmate/close friend see ones face is probably the biggest sign of trust a purple can do (depending on how they feel about the tradition). and having them HELP WASH IT OFF??? ough, now thats /tender/.

I need you to understand that I am ABSOLUTELY FERAL over this idea and it goes perfect with an older headcanon thing I did a while back

Here: https://www.tumblr.com/morsartis/639719797773549568/hey-your-writing-was-awesome-ive-just?source=share

AND LISTEN- LISTEN-

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SENDING ME YOUR OWN HEADCANONS I LOVE THAT SHIT.

God okay but like, the TENDERNESS??? Of washing off your big purples paint??? The damn SWEETNESS and TRUST of being allowed to help them apply it in the mornings???

NO ONE TOUCH ME IM NOT OKAY

EDIT: YES! Yes I love talking about other peoples headcanons! TALK TO ME ABOUT THE HEAD CANONS-

Can we see what happens when Marvus does get there after the tweet?

You got it! I'll upload a part two sometime today! Thank you for the request.

Home pt. 2

(Part 2 of the Home series.)

Dead on your feet did not describe you at that moment. You were well past that mark, swaying ever so slightly as you stood, at this time of night the store was almost dead. Only a few other people were milling about, most of which were nocturnal. At the moment you stood in the hardware aisle. You needed more bathroom tiles. Luckily it was only a small spot but you wanted it done before any water damage could set in. But the tiles you needed were out of reach on the top shelf. You had told your parents you were stopping at the store for a new shaving razor- and you were- but your main reason was the tile. It would take away from your fridge budget but even so all you needed was one more check. The thought of having such a big part of your renovations done had put you in such a chipper mood you hadn’t even complained about the double shift one of your bosses had forced on you. Though now you were beginning to see a problem. It was going to be dangerous climbing up the shelves in this state but you needed those tiles. 

“(Y/N)!” A voice called out causing you to jump from surprise. Azar stood at the other end of the aisle with a basket hanging neatly from one arm. He looked just as surprised to see you as you were to see him. 

“Azar? Hey.” You smiled tiredly. The surprise melted to concern the closer he came to you. It might have been the bags under your eyes. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, his antennae flicked about in concern. For a moment you found it incredibly endearing- and distracting. 

“Yeah just a double shift y’know?” Your laugh sounded only slightly defeated. Azar frowned and grabbed the tiles you had been staring at. 

“Is this all you needed?”

“Yes, thank you.” 

“You can thank me by letting me take you home. There is no way you can drive in your state.”

“I walked-,”

“Even more concerning. Just let me do this alright? I’ll sleep better knowing you didn't pass out on the sidewalk or got jumped on the way home.”

You bit your lip. On one hand you didn’t want to walk home. He had valid points on that front. But on the other you knew your parents would throw an absolute fit if they saw him. 

“Listen Azar, I’d love that but-,”

“No buts. I am going to take you home.”

“Yeah, okay, but-,”

“(Y/N). If the thought of me knowing where you live makes you uncomfortable I’m alright dropping you at the end of your street. I just don’t want you to walk all the way home when you are clearly exhausted.”

“It’s not that Azar,” You sighed, shoulder’s slumping, “It’s my parents. They’re very... Traditional.”

You could see the moment he realized what you meant. At first his face went carefully blank and then his whole body went taut with what you assumed was anger. 

“So you have to sneak around behind their backs? That is no way to live!”

“I know but I’m working on it. They already kicked out my sister, she was lucky she had a fiancée she was already semi-living with.”

“Do you have a place to go if they do kick you out?”

“Sort of?” You dragged out sheepishly. Azar sighed. 

“I won’t pry. Just know that if push comes to shove you can stay at my place for as long as it takes to get back on your feet.” 

You stared at him stunned. Was he really willing to do that for you? It nearly made you cry with relief at having a plan b that didn’t involve crashing with your sister and her wife. Instead you simply nodded and allowed him to lead you towards the check out. The cashier raised a brow at the two of you but didn’t ask questions, just rang you both up and sent you on your merry way. 

Azar dropped you off two houses down from your own, waiting until you had given a wave from your doorstep before he drove off. Fortunately it seemed your parents were fast asleep and you happily snuck up to your room. Closing the door softly you pulled out the tile and stuffed it into the bottom of your hiking bag. The less questions the better. Next week was pay week and the thought followed you to bed. Next week was the break you needed. Soon you’d have a fridge to stock and the only major purchase you’d have to make after that was the bed. Everything else could simply be moved. Your parents couldn’t have you arrested for theft if you only took what you had bought in the first place. Yes, once you had the fridge and the bed you’d be home free. 

(Part 3 is up!)