The Fresh Start Of A New Beginning

I got 'According to Yes' by Dawn French and I am in love with it so far! Near the end within a week!

Hello, dear Reader. Tell me a story. Did you get a book for the holiday? Did you give one?

dead

Yoga

My first ever yoga session completed. I feel no different than before, just exhausted from what I felt like was an hour of lying down and inhaling, exhaling, and of course the random ‘ommm shanti,ommm shanti’ chanting. However, I would still recommend it! Definitely worth a try to see how you feel about it. I did like the way my mind just went blank for a whole hour and I had nothing but shanti on my mind (shanti means peace btw).

Free yourself.

Xoxo

Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.

Rick Warren (via staypozitive)

A year in life...

Oh it’s been so very long since I last wrote. I needed time. I needed to experience my first year “out there” so that I could really write. Write about everything and I’ll make sure not to leave anything out. 

A year ago, my last blog, was about my family’s dismissive behaviour towards the love of my life. A year ago, my dad was the only one left in the dark about this because I was looking for the perfect timing. I knew the outcome. I knew it a year ago and at last after a year, I was only proven right. Ultimatum set by him, choose the family he says and leave him. Choose him and leave the family. So which is it going to be? I have thought about it, many many many times only to go around in circles. Why cant I have both? Why is it so easy for my father to give me such an ultimatum and why can he not consider or take into account anyone but himself? Enough with the questions though, perhaps I have the answers, yet deep down I do not want them to be true therefore suppress the truth. Because everyone knows, the truth hurts. So much that at this moment of time I have decided to play along as a happy family because for now, the hurting can temporarily be postponed. And even if it is for a short while, I rather be happy with the family before I make them aware of my decision. 

The decision of my life so to speak. Its all set, I have done so much thinking in between changing jobs and working full time, and welcoming my beautiful niece to this world as well as keeping my parents happy and him happy. I have been flooded with so many emotions that really, I did not even have to even decide myself but life decided for me. And maybe that is the best of ways. I know from here onward I can count on him, fall back on him, love him and be with him. We have chosen each other through all that we’ve had to go through and still have to go through, we have always chosen us. And that is what made this decision so easy ( well i keep referring it to decision, but really its a choice).

So here it is for a shortened version of my year, I promise I will write more and more often again. I nearly forgot how good it feels to just write and lets the words write themselves. 

Have a good summer!

xoxo

Facebook is manipulating all of us.

Hello again.

Hmmm, it's been a while since my last blog, and a lot has changed since. For starters: Happy New Year! 2016 will be our year! Yes we may pretend for a few months that this year will be different but it really won't be. It will be better for some, it will be worse for some, and it may stay the same for others. But how much can really change in a year? 2015 has been one of my best and worst years! I've been through the worst break up but also managed to pass another year of uni! See it's not all bad... Plus loosing weight and getting fit after the break up was one of the most accomplished goal of my year! Ups and downs, you grow stronger, you grow wiser and you grow older.. That's all there is to another year! You can make it or break with your own hands. I do not believe in a New Years resolution. Somebody asked me what mine would be for 2016 and I quite frankly told them that a resolution is pointless. I like to think that whatever success, whatever goal you achieve and whatever kindness you do throughout the year is a resolution in disguise. The ones you haven't planned always go to plan. There is no point telling yourself that you're going to get fit because it's a beginning of a new year when you're going to give up in 1 week because you're mentally not ready to achieve this goal. Give yourself time and let it happen when you are ready. This is for any type of goal that you might have. Everyone has been through a difficult time and mourned for a long time without realising how long they have been doing so. There is no shame to be upset about something that you may have lost that was once your everything. To me, he was everything. It pained me so much. 6 months have passed and I still can't believe that it happened the way it did or why it happened the way it did. Sometimes it is best not to remind yourself of the things that you have lost but of the things that you have gained. It will always get better even if it gets worse before it gets better. Keep your chin up and walk through this year with pride and confidence! Be thankful for what you have, stay humble and make the best of it! Until next time! Xoxo

Going through a bad phase..

I've had a very bad couple of months. I found out I failed a module and couldn't graduate along with my friends and had to resit the exam so I'm doing this waiting game of finding out my results.. With that being said, that isn't as bad as being so far away from my love. It's tough. Growing up in a Muslim family from Iraq and being kurdish, I have just realised how much that impacts on my life. My parents are nothing but narrow-minded shallow human beings who are in the way of their daughters happiness. My mother has recently told me she will abandon me as a daughter if I carry on seeing my boyfriend who is Portuguese and not kurdish. Only because it doesn't look good for my family's reputation. I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who is affected by parents and families like this and it is heartbreaking that us girls who grow up in such an environment cannot stand up for ourselves without being shunned and forced into a marriage we are not happy with. Girls like me and around the world need to find each other and support each other for the happiness we believe in. It's hard as it is.. why go through with it on your own? We should be sharing each others experiences and help and support one another without feeling embarrassed or without competing. Kurdish Society has taught nothing but hatred to others if one is better than you. It is absolutely disgraceful and I refuse to be part of a society with such way of thinking. I have a lot to say about this and I shall blog my heart out about this matter until it is recognised and seen by everyone. I will not give up for what I think is right. Xoxo

∞ Are You Satisfied? ∞

Don’t be fooled!

There is no need for me to rant about men. Particular someone you grew to love over a year or so yet they fucked up. As usual. I’m not the strongest out there so for me a break up is quite awful but it gets worse. 

Whatever he said during the break up is very nice and all and being gullible is sooo much better than facing the truth. Being naive even better! Its his terms or no terms. It bugs me the most that for 15 months he was the most loving and caring person I knew and fell for so deeply, but speaking to him now makes me doubt myself who I fell for.  A narcissist. Plain and simple. I will never bad mouth him and nor will I regret the time spent together. However, what I do regret is the one week of sleepless nights and puffy eyes in the morning. Not worth it. Surely I am not the only woman who’s said this after a break up and surely I let my emotions run high when writing this blog. 

You see, men don’t care. We know it. They know that we know it. Everybody knows this. Its a delusion which has been carried out for many many years that women should trust men and that men care about women. It just isn't in their nature to care as much as we do. 

I am not writing this blog to talk about the careless men in our lives but to talk about the foolishness of us women. We believe it. We should not therefore blame them. If they can not be trusted which we know very much why do we allow ourselves to fall for them so damn deep to the point of not being able to pick ourselves up. Its just ridiculous and quite frankly, women are pathetic soppy little creatures. 

It hurts so much to think that you’re not good enough, but do not be fooled because you are GOOD. Way too good, maybe even overqualified to be with a man who just doesn’t want to appreciate you. Who doesn’t allow himself to love you because he is nothing but a coward. A coward to face the obstacles that couples will come across in the future. What is love? Its nothing, if you’re not committed to begin with. END IT NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE. 

xoxo