The First Thing That Has Ever Made Me Believe I Could Actually Be Loveable As An Autistic Person Was

I don’t go anywhere and I don’t do anything and I don’t have close friends I can trust with my life.

How am I supposed to write a book if I don’t know what living feels like

I always think of Dazai whenever I hear “Demolition Lovers” by My Chemical Romance, because, y’know, yeah

I occasionally get flashes where I become incredibly attracted to Kazuha. They never last long, but they’re happening more frequently.

Another evidence to add to my list of evidences that I am, in fact, aro:

When I was younger, I thought I had a crush on a guy in my school, and one day he saw me sitting with another guy at lunch. Before our next class started, he came up to ask who the other guy was. I had wondered if he was feeling jealous, but I just said, “Oh that was my friend. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that big brother instinct kicking in.”

And I was like “oh Okay” and it was the most hilarious thing to me that I had just gotten family-zoned. I was laughing about it all afternoon, but when I told my friends, they were all “oh no I’m so sorry!” and I was like it literally doesn’t matter?? why are you pitying me??????

When is it my turn to live in a small apartment in a big city where I'm friends with all the neighbors and with the baker and the grocery store owners who I get to talk to on my weekly shopping trips, where everything is within walking distance, and where I can spend hours at a coffee shop to write and I'm friends with the regulars and the workers. I want to look out my window at night and revel in the city lights, knowing that there is an infinite amount of possibilities waiting for me whenever I'm ready to grab them.

My little brother would honestly make such a good media star.

Podcast host? Yas queen, he got the voice, he got the humor.

TV show star? Obviously. He’s got the looks and the friend group. His hair, his style, his monologues, his creativity.

YouTuber? Believe me, everyone would be simps. They’d be making TikToks rating his laugh and his singing and make “out of context” clip channels.

I just remembered, the whole reason I made a Tumblr account was because a Tumblr person said they wanted to talk to someone about the Magic Thief series, and I had just been thinking about reading them, and then I never did. And that person posted it in January, and I don’t know if they’re still into the series, so. . . I’m not gonna try.

KAVETHAM IN VEGAS

That is all

Shout out to me for writing diverse characters even back when I was anti-lgbt

For example, I wrote a bi nonbinary character and had them correcting everyone who got their pronouns wrong. I didn’t even know what any of that was when I wrote it, I just thought it made for an interesting character quirk.

Dear Netflix,

WHERE is my 12-25 episode long original fantasy anime about Santa as a gorgeous young man being bitter and a complete jerk with a tragic backstory that has an unnecessarily deep plot in which he overcomes his past and the issues of today to become the kindhearted man that the legend of Santa lends him to be with more complexity and emotion than it has any right to have?