How About Idgaf If Man Is A Meaningful Intersection Bc I'm A Transman And Black And That Intersection

i think words like transandrophobia and transmisogyny are useful in theory, but in practice they drive division and end up harmful to the wider trans struggle. (explanation in simple words at the bottom)

i think it can be useful to have words to describe different flavors of discrimination we face depending on how we are percieved by society. the problem occurs when these words stop being treated as descriptors, and instead get used as labels.

i'm sure you've seen the TMA/TME discourse. TMA = transmisogyny affected, TME = transmisogyny exempt. in practice, these terms are used as "trans women and fems" (TMA) and "everyone else who is trans" (TME). there's a few problems i have with this.

first, as a transneutral person, i would be labeled TME. but the group of drunk dudes who chased me down screaming that i'll never be a real woman, they don't care about that. they see me, a trans person, they assign their own interpretation to my gender presentation, and decide to intimidate me based on their interpretation. i have faced transmisogyny many times, despite some tumblr users insisting i am exempt from it.

second, it puts people back into a rigid binary. as a nonbinary person, i'm well aware of how restrictive and oppressive binaries are, and this one is not any different. even if it's repackaged as trans-friendly, it still denies many people the entirety of their experience and only allows a little, specific part of it.

and third, i simply do not think that any of us in this community are exempt from transmisogyny. in my experience the difference between experiencing transmisogyny or transandrophobia is what the other person percieves me as. if you really wanted to call someone exempt, make it cis people - but also keep in mind that not all of them are. think GNC people, butches, drag queens, the list goes on. i find it difficult to call these people exempt, even if they aren't trans. and i acknowledge that if you're read most of the time as your binary gender (as in you pass, but i strongly dislike that word), you will face much more of one flavor of opression than the other. but taking the experience of only binary trans people who are read as their gender and calling it universal is incredibly exorsexist. most of us will have experienced both.

all these flavors of discrimination, transmisogyny, transandrophobia, even exorsexism and intersexism, it all stems from the same narrow bioessentialist understanding of sex and gender as strictly binary.

in conclusion, i think words like transmisogyny and transandrophobia can be useful to describe experiences with different flavors of anti-trans bigotry. however some people have started treating them as a strict binary of affected-exempt, and that is not rooted in reality or helpful. i'm inclined to say at this point, these terms create infighting instead of being helpful, and make us forget that the root cause of all the discrimination we face is the same.

explanation in simple words: transandrophobia (discrimination against masculine transness) and transmisogyny (discrimination against feminine transness) can be useful words to describe own experiences. but some people use these words to divide trans community into boxes. i think that is not good. it makes us forget we all want to fight transphobia. makes us fight each other instead, and that is not helpful.

yknow whats funny though

i never quite connected with mulan growing up

i always connected more to ariel... which i mean she is kinda more of a story of transition now that i think about it

she has dysmorophia/dysphoria(?) over not having human legs and being a human, she even collects things of humans so she can pretend to be one, and once shes been outed to triton he tries to destroy her connection to things that bring her euphoria

and then when she finally does "transition" to be a human, shes robbed of her voice, basically becoming almost invisible to the people she does care about

i think ariels story is definitely one that a lot of trans men/mascs could relate to, and i know i sure did

Me: *sees a good anti-jkr post pointing out that its still fucked up to interact with the fandom*

Me: yeah I agree it's not great and it signals to--

Post: Also I noticed it's mostly transmascs ://// I don't think there's even a single trans woman in the fandom :///// that says a lot ://////

Me:

Me: ah, you're not actually here for the discussion about jkr's hate and how it harms the community. You're just here to shit on trans guys. Damnit.

So I guess I was making things up or pretending 10 years ago when trans masc and nonbinary people who didn’t pass or express their gender in societally accepted ways were called “trenders” and “theyfabs” by the same people who would gladly accuse someone of being a blue haired liberal/sjw/feminazi/etc….Just another example of trans men not being respected as reliable narrators of their own experience!

Rat from Pathologic Classic HD on a Transgender flag background

Look i don’t know where i personally stand on wether transandrophobia is a good useful term or not. But i’ve learned more valuable information about trans men/mascs (that was delivered in a genuine and kind manner) from people who use that term, than i ever have from people who despise the use of transandrophobia.

Hell i’m starting to get to a point where (even though i don’t know how to feel about the etimology) folks that hate it are getting a tentative red flag, because none of them seem to be able to be normal about trans masculine people.

Seriously if yalls first reaction to a trans masc mildly disagreeing with you or having a different interpretation about something is to immediately be a transphobic bully to all trans mascs then you are just kind of an asshole, regardless of if you’re “technically” right about the hill you’re willing to drag all of us through the mud on.

"theyfab" "pooner" "trutherina" bestie i think you might just be a misogynist

Hello, here to remind people that this discourse is hurting nonbinary people as well, especially nonbinary transmascs.

Please include your nonbinary siblings in your advocacy, and don’t forget to uplift their voices as well. The assholes calling people “theyfabs” and denying the existence of transandrophobia aren’t just out to get trans men.

Half the posts I see are about "theyfab trender tme they/hes", they hate nonbinary people too.

Trans men are left out of the conversation far too often; please don't repeat the same mistake with a different group.

Please stop forgetting nonbinary people!

Theyfab isn't a transmasc-specific slur. It's always been used against any nonbinary person assumed to be AFAB.

Though the AGAB of nonbinary people is nobody's business in the first place, it bears repeating that not every AFAB nonbinary person is transmasculine, just as not every AMAB nonbinary person is transfeminine.

These bigots aren't just transphobic towards trans men/mascs, they're exorsexist as well. We'll be stronger if we stick up for each other and push back against them together!