I’m Constantly Fighting For A Life I Didn’t Even Want In The First Place

anyone wanna platonically make out and do drugs?

Chronic emptiness will be the death of me. I can’t seem to fill the void no matter how hard I try.

The fear of abandonment isn’t just about people leaving, it’s the gut-wrenching belief that you aren’t worth staying for.

does anyonw want to play surgery. with me

okokok so

its been almost 2 weeks????? since me and my fp last had an actual conversation. i tried reaching out but they just ignored it and keep sending me fuckin memes and instagram posts and ignoring my message 🙃

i feel like i've already gone through the fucking 7 stages of grief with this mf and now i don't know if i care what they choose to do, so now im just wondering:

do i attempt to reach out again somehow and if so what the fuck do i say? OR do i just abandon ship and give up the entire friendship and see what happens-

negative affirmations

I can be worse

I still have time to fuck things up

I can kms any time I want

The thing is, no one cares how hard you’re trying. They just want you to pass their expectations. Anything less means you’re lazy. What a brutal world we’re living in right now.

why do i have to be happy for you. im not.

well okay that's not entirely true. im happy that you're happy. i'll always be grateful for your happiness. but jesus fucking christ why why why WHY can't i have the same things you have and why can't you just be mine.

oh well. that's what drugs are for.

backshots this, backshots that, i would like to be taken out back and shot