I Want To Put Bernard Dowd In A Box And Shake Him Around A Bit

what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

I literally hate every job in the world. I don’t want them. I don’t want ANY of them!

I love scam calls that are easily verifiably false. “Your mortgage is about to default.” Cool 👍 I don’t have one of those

I THINK WE DON'T TALK ENOUGH ABOUT HOW CALLUM KEPT HIS FAMILY TOGETHER AND HOW IT RELATES TO NOVACAINE.

This is best seen in sacred hospitality but we see it in the rest of the books too.

Callum kept his mom from leaving, from drinking, from suicide. By manipulating her.

Callum kept his sister away from boyfriends who were taking advantage of her. By manipulating her.

Callum helped placate his father (who was not a good man) by making sure all his business deals succeeded. By manipulating clients.

To Callum, his manipulation was what saved his family. Yes, he took away their autonomy but he kept them together. He had to keep them together in his child's mind. They were family. He loved them. He was trying to help them, to fix things because he didn't know how to cope with love because he was never taught how to love so he showed his love by trying to take all their burdens off their shoulders.

This reflects the most in his mother whom he forces to be happy even though he KNOWS people can't be fixed, stating this more than once. People don't stay changed. But he loves his mother so he tries to relieve her of all her flaws and struggles.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DOES WITH TRISTAN WHEN HE MANIPULATES HIM.

Tristan states this himself:

CALLUM LOVED TRISTAN SO HE ATTEMPTED TO DO THE ONLY THING HE KNEW HOW TO DO. TAKE AWAY HIS BURDENS. EXCHANGE AUTONOMY FOR PEACE. BECAUSE THAT IS ALL HE KNOWS.

HE WAS LOVING TRISTAN THE ONLY WAY HE KNEW HOW WHICH WAS FLAWED AND AWFUL AND HE KNEW. HE KNEW IT WAS POINTLESS AND IT WOULD END IN TRAGEDY. BUT HE DID IT ANYWAY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO LOVE TRISTAN. AND THAT DOESN'T EXCUSE IT AND HE KNOWS THAT BUT HE WAS LOVING THE ONLY WAY HE COULD.

it's the way that after being called by that title tim finally looked up at bernard... guys timberkon is REAL . PLEASE (i get dragged back crying and screaming into the depths)

I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety

i’ve done everything that has been asked of me

self indulgent sam beckett ethel cain edit <33 thank you to @hballegro for most of the scenes !!

for shits and giggles: my personal take on what shoes each batfam member wears

—

bruce - almost always dress shoes, if he’s in the manor casually he’s in slippers and socks but if he’s leaving he’s in dress shoes.

dick - he’s a vans lover till he dies, and he never switched over to converse when they got more popular. he has one pair of custom nightwing converse that he got from wally and donna.

barbara - adidas or pretty much any comfortable running sneaker (yes even after the killing joke). she also loves flats she thinks they’re so cute.

jason - combat boots. he likes how heavy they feel, they help him feel grounded, keeps him aware that he’s moving and walking and alive. he also has a pair of red hood slippers from lian and roy.

tim - his go to is always a good pair of converse but he has the more eclectic shoe collection you’ve ever seen. heels, heelys, sneakers, boots, flip flops, you name it he’s got a pair.

steph - you wouldn’t think it but she’s a secret sneaker head. she gets excited over new shoe drops and she loves dunks and jordans. sneakers are always a good go to present for her.

cass - converse but she ties them like gwen stacy in the spiderverse movies. also has a pair of purple vans she bought cause they remind her of steph. she can on occasion be found just wearing her ballet flats around the house.

damian - wears dress shoes like all the time like bruce, however he has a pair of light up sketchers from dick that he does wear on occasion.

duke - has two pairs of converse, one of them practically falling apart at the seams and the other pair being a gift from bruce. he also likes breathable nike running shoes, his favorite being a basic black pair.

restless

(id in alt text)

High School Bernard trying to act cool and all knowing around Tim to impress him.

Also, high school Bernard internally: "Don't show Tim your superherosona. As much as you want to don't show Tim your superherosona!"

He eventually caves and shows Tim his drawing of his superherosona