Dad: do the dishes!
Me: *does the dishes*
Dad: why did you put this dish in the dishwasher! You know better than to be careless and put something in the dishwasher that doesnt belong in there.
Dish: I say "dishwasher safe". Of course they put me in the fucking dishwasher!
Original comic by Rasenth
I don’t know how else to explain it. If someone says something to me that initially hits as horribly transphobic, I’m going to be hurt. However, if, after I confront them about it, they go “Oh no! Jesus no, that’s nowhere near what I intended to say, I mean X” - well, I now feel a hell of a lot better. I like knowing people aren’t actually trying to hurt me.
So yeah - knowing someone’s intent can drastically alter the impact, especially if the impact was negative. It can literally fix a horrible case of miscommunication that could’ve resulted in a permanent rift in a friendship.
But I’ve been in communities where trying to have the second half of that conversation is “abuse” and “invalidating their pain”.
No! It’s actually a really fucking important part of communication! And to silence that second half of the interaction results in no one learning anything, no one healing, and everyone remaining hurt.
Person 1 remains offended, thinking their friend meant to say something transphobic. Person 2 remains hurt because now everyone thinks they’re transphobic.
The pain of being misinterpreted is not and should not be dismissed, and fuck anyone who tries to do so to me in the future.
All you need in life is a color picker willing to expose you to the unbounded madness we call color vision.
me, absolutely clueless: "I want a color just like this one, but in red" color picker: Fuck you think you are, a Mantis Shrimp? Don't talk to me again until you can afford a wide gamut monitor.
Chiron and Mr D: now that you've trained at camp for one (1) week it's time for you to embark on a quest to retrieve Zeus' lightning bolt and stop all out war from breaking out amongst the Gods.
Percy: are you aware that i am twelve years old
Chiron and Mr D: this is your dad's will
Percy: is he aware that i am twelve years old
This is so simple yet sweet. I love it :33
Im gonna try to take my meds more consistently
“May I hug you?”
“When I ask you if you want to do something, you know it’s always okay to say no, right?”
“Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?”
“How do you feel about (x activity)?”
(When someone’s insecure about having said no and asks if it’s okay/if you’re mad or upset they said no) “I’m disappointed to not do the thing, of course, but I’m much more glad you were willing to tell me (no/that you were uncomfortable/etc.). That’s really important to me. Thank you.”
“I’d ALWAYS rather be told no than make you feel pressured or do anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”
“I care about you, so when something I do hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, I want to know, because I don’t like making you feel bad.”
“You can always change your mind, okay? The moment you wanna (stop/go home/take a break/etc), PLEASE tell me and we’ll stop right away. I won’t make a fuss, I don’t wanna keep going if you don’t want to.”
“Wanna do (x)? It’s okay if not, but I think it would be (fun/worthwhile/prudent).”
(When starting a social phone call): “Hey, are you busy right now?”
(When confirming plans made earlier): “Hey, are you still up for doing (x) at (time) on (day)?”
“Can I vent a little about (x)?”
“Can I tell you something (gross/depressing)?”
“Are you comfortable talking about it?”
“Do you think you could talk me through this problem I’ve been having? If you have the time and emotional energy of course.”
“It’s okay if that doesn’t work for you.”
“I’m interested in spending more time with you. Would you be interested in doing (x) together on (y day)?”
“No? Well let me know if you ever want to do something else.” (leave it open! don’t nag! let it go!)
“You don’t seem very interested in this. Should we skip it?”
(When someone doesn’t seem interested in something you were suggesting) “We can just (do something you both want to do) instead.” (don’t try to get them to do the thing again! let it go!)
Give people as much freedom as possible to make their own choices without pressure or control.
Even children deserve as much autonomy as allows them to remain safe and get their needs met - remember, you can’t train a child to make good/safe/healthy choices without ever giving them choices. A child who is taught to respect consent is a child who doesn’t assault people! A child who knows they have a right to say no is a child who knows that someone who infringes on their autonomy isn’t supposed to do that.
A consent-conscious relationship is a healthier and safer relationship, and a person who is aware of and deliberate about asking for, giving, receiving, refusing, and accepting refusals of consent is a healthier and safer person.
And it was a nice yard once. A garden bed full of tulips, a lawn blanketed with small clover. A tall willow tree perfect for a child to play pretend under and make magical memories in. A cobble path winding from the door to the street. The houses on either side were just close enough that you could hear the neighborhood children laughing. Yet they are far enough that it felt like a secluded little fairy wonderland. A perfect place to settle down and raise a family.
Left to its own devices, the garden has turned brown. The small patches of crabgrass you insisted I leave be have spread all throughout the lawn. Unmaintained and uncontrolled the small patches have now grown over everything else. Each tendril of it working to suffocate the soft clover. Poking and prodding at the cobble path with ever reaching arms.
The willow tree hangs heavy with the weight of itself. Without someone there to trim it, all it can do is droop down further and further. Left alone a little longer it might have died under its own weight. So much has changed here since that day but the house... The house looks the same it did the day we bought it. The day we stood in front of it, your arm around my waist, and knew that this would be where we would raise our kids.
You deserve to be buried here my love. You deserve to wither and rot under the very same willow tree. We once imagined our future here together and I will ensure our dreams come true. I will make you a home under that willow tree. A place where you can rest soundly and watch as I raise our child.
I will rid the yard of your crabgrass. I will spare no expense in removing the evil from the very root. The blood on my hands is a necessary sacrifice for what I must do for her. Ripping up the crabgrass and replacing it with the soft sweet clover I once knew. The clover I fell in love with when I fell in love with you.
Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.
I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.
Loosely based off the brilliant AO3 fanfic “Too Wise to Woo Peaceably” by @feralbutfluffy
(Ack! I had FeralbutFluffy’s name backwards! Edited to fix)
Wine + Someone you’re totally crushing on + avoiding discorporation TWICE in one night= Sexy Results
@toowisetowoopeaceably
Two rules for creating anything.
1) Make it weird.
2) Make it with love.
These people could be anywhere! Maybe even your own mother! Or work friend!
i love when people on here well be like “who DOESN’T want their blood to get sucked ? 🤨” well i hate to break it to you but the average person does not, in fact, want to have their blood get sucked. statistically there is a large amount of people who do not want this to occur. this is shocking and appalling, i know. the world is full of unsettling things
pspspsps, Toasty, feeling too strongly about something? HAVE to tell somebody before you explode? POST IT HERE YA BASTARD.
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