Halt: You Ever Just Look Back And Cry-

hey so. whenever i read fics on ao3. 80% of the time i see your user in the kudos. even in other fandoms outside of hazbin. politely, are you in my walls.

Short answer? Yes.

Long answer? Yeeeees.

as soon as I can get back the Ranger's Apprentice Brain Rot, you know I'll be writing something for this lol. There's a lot of things I want to write for RA, but Hazbin Hotel started holding me hostage at gunpoint shortly after I started writing fics lol

You know what I'm kinda surprised about

That so far I haven't seen a single fanfic about what happened when Halt was going through it in the burning bridge and just started defenestrating people and beating up children

Flanny should have included it in the book that would have been funny.

Thanks for the tag!! And they're not in a particular order bc they're my CHILDREN and I simply cannot rank them

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)

Optimus Prime (Transformers)

Bumblebee (Transformers)

Soundwave (Transformers)

Halt O'Carrick (Ranger's Apprentice)

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things)

Bruce Wayne (DC)

Tony Stark (Marvel)

Raphael (TMNT)

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

There are others ofc, these are just the first ones I thought of lol

No pressure tags! @guesswhocouldntsleep @oberveroftheinfinite @lonely-lost-insanity @theanonemu

TAG GAME— List 10 of your favorite characters from different fandoms

Thank you for tagging me @coderiderr

Hortensia (Fire Emblem Engage)

Juvia Lockser (Fairy Tail)

Kaze (Fire Emblem Fates)

Lisia (Pokémon)

Maka Albarn (Soul Eater)

Owain (Fire Emblem Awakening)

Shirayuki (Snow White with the Red Hair)

Van Hohenheim (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Yuuri Katsuki (Yuri!!! on ICE)

Zeref Dragneel (Fairy Tail)

Tagging: @fayesdiary @dragonballwish @elegyofthemoon @sevarix-blogs @ghostlydragonpainter

Can we just take a moment to realize just how screwed up Halt's apprenticeship was?

First things first, the fact that it was probably only about 2.5 years at most. According to timelines that I have seen worked out by others, and have worked out myself, Halt probably would have been a few months after his 15th birthday when he met Pritchard, and it's pretty bold to assume that they started training together the day they met. When Halt left Clonmel, he said he was around 17 and a half, so that's maybe 2 years of training. Not to mention the fact that he wasn't even living with Pritchard at the time and was also learning how to rule a country. He probably didn't receive much one-on-one training from the renegade rangers, but I could believe that Pritchard picked up the slack again once they met up. But then Pritchard dies. And then Halt gets his silver oak leaf.

what.

But wait, there's more! Not only did Halt receive absolute minimal training time, but he didn't have the proper equipment either. TEY talks about how the only proper equipment he had was a bow, and that everything else was pretty much jury rigged (like his double scabbard). He didn't even get to start training with a proper ranger horse until months after the very end of his official training. He most likely had to practice with either the closest equivalents to ranger tools or Pritchard's sets.

When you really think about it, Halt probably had to learn most of his skills on the job without backup in Redmont.

But, it gets worse.

You may say, "But Void, how can it get any worse?" and I'll tell you.

There are a few events whose timelines have to be adjusted due to Flagagank's inability to remember his own character's ages (*cough cough* Halt's time with the Temujai *cough cough*), and this means that a lot of the really important missions that Halt was sent on early in his career that are mentioned throughout the books - such as stealing the Temujai horses and taking down whoever that one guy with the mace was - all took place as Halt was still trying to make up for the gap in his training.

Let's put a little perspective on it.

Imagine Will for a minute. Now imagine that he didn't start his training for a good 6 months after Choosing Day, and that he didn't live with Halt, but rather with Baron Arald. At the same time he's training with Halt, he's learning how to do Arald's job, while also fending off assassination attempts. Now, a little under halfway through Will's training, make him leave the country and shove him into an active war situation. He and Halt don't get to meet up until about a year later. Then a few months after that, Halt gets McFucking Murdered. Then, make Will a full-fledged ranger and assign him to a fief.

That's exactly what happened to Halt.

Bro.

It's no wonder he's always so hard on his apprentices. Man has no idea what a normal apprenticeship looks like, he was making shit up as he went

Edit: I think Tumblr ate my posts, so we're trying again to see how it goes

Will: Dumbest scar stories, go! 
Cassandra: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. 
Alyss: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. 
Gilan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. 
Horace: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. 
Halt: 
Halt: I have emotional scars.

Bonus:

Will:

Will, concerned: You good dad?

Halt, sobbing on the floor: I don’t know what I’m crying more about, the fact that I’m not ok, the fact that someone finally asked me, or that you just called me dad.

Halt:

Halt: I love you too son.

This is part three to the Playful Punishments series

Lucifer has become an absolute menace, and Alastor enlists Charlie's help in getting revenge. Unfortunately, he seemed to forget that Lucifer is literally THE Devil, from the Bible.

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic. If that's not something you vibe with, then kindly continue moving - do not pass GO, do not collect $200, just move along lol.

Whatever you do, don't think about how the song "Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch fits Halt and his childhood trauma to a T.

I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full analysis. I'm not going to go into a full-

FULL ANALYSIS AHEAD (disclaimer: "Remember Everything" does not belong to me)

"Dear mother, I love you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. Dear father, forgive me. Cause in your eyes, I just never added up. In my heart I know I failed you, but you left me here alone."

Halt talks about how Ferris was the favorite child, and how his parents fought all the time. We all know by now about Halt's tendency to blame himself for things (as seen in "The Battle for Skandia" and "Erak's Ransom"). He probably blamed himself for his parents arguing all the time - hell, he literally said that he refused to tell his parents that Ferris was actively trying to kill him because he thought that Ferris was the only thing they cared about and he didn't want to take that away from them. Even though it was his choice, Halt was a kid. He probably felt at least a little bit abandoned and betrayed that his parents didn't seem to even notice anything amiss before Halt ran away.

"If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? Cause I remember everything."

Something else that is touched on in the fourth book is Halt's tendency to deflect conversations that confront him on his fears and such. It's a fairly offhand note, but it has some pretty big implications. Halt has this need to make sure that everyone else is okay, while simultaneously ensuring that no one ever sees his suffering. He is constantly shielding other people, and feels guilty when he requires that same protection.

"Dear brother, just don't hate me for never standing by you, or being by your side."

I refuse to believe that Ferris was the murderous evil twin from the start. There was probably a very large portion of heir childhood where Halt and Ferris were close, before Ferris became obsessed with the crown. That would be a good reason why Halt only suspected Ferris later on. I feel like Halt would spend a lot of time telling himself that it was something he did that sent Ferris over the edge, and he would blame himself for the betrayal.

"Dear sister, please don't blame me. I only did what I thought was truly right."

I can't be the only one who thinks that Halt always regretted leaving Caitlyn behind, but he knew it was either that or kill Ferris, which is something I don't think he would ever be capable of doing. He loved his twin too much.

"It's a long and lonely road when you know you walk alone."

I know that Halt wasn't technically alone, and he became part of a massive found family, but not being able to tell anyone about the things he went though, and the people he left behind as well as his reasoning would have been isolating - if not crushing - for anyone. Hell, no one knew his real last name or anything about his past for just about 24 years. Not even mentioning the fact that when he finally admits it, he is 41 years old, so he has hidden this for well over half his life, not counting the 17 years he actually lived in Clonmel. That is a long time to carry around huge amounts of trauma without telling anyone who cares about you.

"I feel like running away, I'm still so far from home."

This one is fairly obvious. However, it is not talked about nearly enough that Halt is a runaway. Let that sink in for a second. What do you think of when you hear the term 'runaway' in reference to a child? For most, it's the thought of a kid escaping an abusive household and living on the streets with nothing but a backpack filled with belongings. That was what Halt did at 17. Except he had to go all the way to a foreign country to escape his situation. And the only person he ever saw from home again was the person who had made him leave in the first place.

"I'll burn it all to the ground before I let you in."

This is pretty much Halt's whole philosophy on showing any sort of emotion to people. He didn't smile around Will until months into his apprenticeship, and it took years until he was able to summon the courage to tell Will the truth about his mother. And again, the whole 24 years of absolute secrecy about his childhood doesn't exactly show someone that is willing to open themselves up to others.

"Please forgive me, I can't forgive you now."

Halt still blames himself for the rift between himself and Ferris, but he is also consumed by hurt and betrayal over the fact that Ferris cared more for the crown then he did his own brother, and I can't blame him even a little bit for feeling that way. Especially considering that when they do finally meet up again, Ferris shows no real sign of regret for his actions.

All-in-all, this just feels like a violently Halt-esque song. The pain and regret is something I think his character suffers a lot of, and this captures that really well.

If you made it to the end of that ungodly ramble, kudos to you because holy hell, I think I was temporarily possessed by the god of angst.

You know that one post about how his mom doesn't love him?

If the hotel ever finds out what Lucifer said to Ali-corn's mama,what do you think their reactions would be?Like if they found out (by angsty means) that Luci had gone and shit-talk thinking that Al wasn't listening (which is still bad!) ,what would they think about it and him? Because right now I'm thinking resting bitch faces targeted straight at the king ,while Alastor is two seconds from one of the most terrific mental breakdowns since Vox.

I'm asking because you have made me think about that interaction non-stop and now I'm just waiting for your response because I'm genuinely in-fucking-vested.

(I cower in fear as you twiddle your fingers)

Alright, so this is the post that anon is referring to for those of you who have absolutely no idea what's happening (ofc @that-hazbin for the inspiration/original post). My response for this is DETAILED, so we're taking it below the cut one character at a time

Charlie - Charlie loves Alastor despite how shifty he can be, and cannot STAND for it when people hurt those she loves, so hearing what he dad said about him felt like a punch in the gut. She knew he and Alastor didn't get along, but this is entirely too far. She always tries her best to keep from getting angry at anyone, but she positively loses her shit once she hears about what he said. It's even worse if she finds out that Alastor heard everything, and his response was to smile and make everyone dinner with a recipe his mother loved. She cries to Vaggie about how unfair it all is that Alastor was unloved for things that happened before he was even born, and that her dad would be so cruel as to say he wasn't worthy of love anyways. Even when he apologizes, Charlie can't help but add the whole incident to the mental tally she has of every time Lucifer has hurt her, even though she knows that it isn't about her. Alastor should be the one who is upset, but he just...isn't. He doesn't show that he's bothered at all, and that's honestly worse than if he'd gone into a rage, or screamed and cried about it because that just means that he's used to it

Vaggie - Vaggie usually doesn't give a shit about Alastor besides the fact that Charlie cares about him, he's part of the hotel, and he has the potential to be a threat. However, hearing what Lucifer and Alastor's supposedly "incredible" mother were saying was...jarring. It was honestly shocking how quickly she became defensive over Alastor considering how little they usually got along. She didn't say anything to his face (bc that's potentially her future father in law and the KING OF HELL), but she immediately became much more short with him, heading off any of his attempts to speak with her and remaining stiffly formal despite his insistence otherwise. Of course, it's not too hard to maintain icy formality with someone who can't even bother to remember her name despite the fact they live together and that she's dating his daughter. And if she manages to interrupt Alastor and Lucifer's arguments before Lucifer can start truly cutting with his words, that's no one's business but her own

Nifty - Thanks to her lobotomy in life, it's sometimes hard for Nifty to keep up with what's going on in the world around her - especially when it's something emotionally based rather than physical. But that doesn't mean she's dumb. And she'd known Alastor pretty much the entire time she's been in Hell. 70ish years is definitely long enough to pick up on Alastor's tells. Unlike almost everyone else, when Nifty sees him at dinner after he overheard Lucifer and his mother, she immediately knows that he's deeply upset and hurt by something. She'd already realized that Alastor's mother didn't love him, and that Alastor was steadfastly ignoring that fact and loving her twice as much in return. All it took was some alone time with Alastor once he'd had a few drinks, and she knew exactly what he'd overheard. No one in the hotel besides Alastor and Husk had ever seen Nifty truly angry before, but they quickly realized just how unsettling it could be when she go to that point. Being angry made her surprisingly lucid, and she didn't act as everyone had become used to. Instead of delivering frightening threats, she ignored Lucifer and plotted, and glared out of the corner of her eye, her expression sparking with a protective sort of rage. Alastor was hers, and anyone who hurt what was hers was a pest waiting to be swatted like a bothersome fly. At the same time, she made sure to shower Alastor in affection in the only ways she knew how: bug crowns, drawings, little things she found that made her think of him. If she curled up against his chest or comfortingly pet his ears while he tried to go to sleep, well it wasn't as if Alastor was going to tell anyone - and he hadn't pushed her away either

Husk - Husk and Alastor had a...complicated relationship. Alastor saw his thrall as a great source of entertainment as long as he didn't broach certain topics, and Husk resented having his soul owned, but didn't hate Alastor himself. He'd seen a lot of fucked up shit while he was alive, so he doesn't blame Alastor's mother for not loving him - but he doesn't blame Alastor for it either. Lucifer on the other hand had no right to comment on the issue the way he had. Not only did it make Alastor's mother feel worse, but Alastor managed to overhear, and reacted accordingly - by trying to make himself as little of a burden to his mother as possible. He'd talked at dinner, but he hadn't truly spoken, only saying anything to make his mother feel less awkward. Husk already hadn't liked Lucifer - Charlie's rampant daddy issues spoke for him well enough, but Lucifer hadn't really done anything to endear himself to the hotel residents since his arrival. He still proudly displayed his general disgust of sinners as a whole, and one couldn't help but be offended at the treatment. However, he couldn't exactly confront the king on that whole mess, and Alastor would probably eat him for daring to fight his battles for him, so Husk instead settled for being a listening set of ears and having Alastor's favorite bottle of rye at the ready on the days Husk could tell he was really struggling

Angel - Angel's always protected his friends from people more powerful than himself, so you better believe he immediately confronted Lucifer on the shit he said about Alastor the minute he heard about it. He and Alastor may not have been super close, but they bonded over their shared hatred of the Vees, and had been slowly getting closer as friends. Plus, Alastor (like Vaggie) was someone who was always guaranteed to never want Angel for his body, which was a nice change of pace. Alastor wasn't exactly happy with Angel stepping in on his behalf, but Angel was quick to shut any protests down by saying that he shouldn't have to defend himself from people (especially people who had been around since before time started and should really be more mature by now) picking at his family's personal (and incredibly painful) issues. Just like Husk, Angel wasn't exactly endeared to the king anyways with the way he openly disregarded them all in their first meeting without even talking to them

Overall, everyone got a lot more defensive of Alastor then anyone (especially Alastor who assumed that Lucifer's claim was accurate) would have expected. And it will take some serious grovelling for them to even consider letting Lucifer off the hook for saying something so fucked up about an already fucked up situation. But then again, he is the sin of pride, so that makes it a lot less likely that he'll even get around to admitting he's wrong in the first place

HAVE YOU SEEN THE HAZBIN LEAKS😭I hope you didn't bc they make no sense whatsoever😭😭😭 Seriously hoping this is all just a silly fever dream😮‍💨

-IM IN YOUR WALLS🙃🙂

I have unfortunately seen some of them, but I refuse to spread them, and everything I write is still going to follow my original plans regardless of what happens in canon, so no one has to worry about spoilers from me lol

hi! I'm trying to get other peoples opinion on this-

what do you think alastors human life was like?

sorry it took me so long to answer this one, I've been busy lol

are we talking about what I think for canon, or the headcanon backstory that exists purely for angst? Because those are two veeery different answers lol. I'll just answer the canon opinion, and maybe do another part about my headcanon if anyone's interested

As far as I know, it's been confirmed that Alastor's mother was colored, and at least hinted that she was Vodun (not sure on spelling there) I think that his father is also confirmed to be white, and I know we're all pretty sure by now that he was abusive. We know Alastor likely became a radio host, and was a serial killer (obviously lol) who hung around Mimzy frequently enough. For simplicity's sake, I'll say that Alastor was born in the year 1900, making him 33 when he died

Now, for the speculation. I feel like his parents only married when his mother got pregnant, which resulted in her being outcasted from the Vodun community. I believe she still would have taught her beliefs to Alastor, which probably angered his father, who was most likely Catholic based on the most popular religions in the area at the time. I don't know if it would be ore likely that Alastor's father killed his mother and Alastor killed him because of it, or if Alastor killed his father because of the abuse and lived with his mother until she died of illness. Either way, his father ends up out of the picture. For this, I'll say that his mother lived.

Something I don't usually see people take into account is that the US got officially involved in WW1 in 1917, and started drafting 18yo boys in 1918 - ironically enough when Alastor was 18. The law that prevents "the only surviving son" from being drafted wasn't even thought of until 1964, so Alastor wouldn't have been spared from the draft. I believe draft contracts were about 2 years long, so unless he was injured, Alastor would have spent about that much time in combat. He likely had PTSD from that, but they didn't know what that was at the time, so it would have gone untreated.

He gets home when he's 20ish, and eventually becomes a radio host, befriending Mimzy in the process, but he struggles when he comes home. Nothing seems to alleviate the awful feeling building in him since he came back, and then his mother dies. He snaps. Based on that pre-canon comic, Alastor typically targets predators/abusers ("I do hate those who can't show a little more respect towards those of fairer means"), which makes it pretty ironic (or purposeful) that his name literally means "Avenger".

He hears a woman screaming late at night on his way home, and sees a man cornering her in an alley. Maybe the screams remind him of his mother, or the things he saw overseas, or maybe he's just angry, but he picks something up and bludgeons the man to death. Later, he can't stop thinking about how good it felt to end such a miserable creature, so he does it again. And again. Until eventually, he's killed dozens of men just like his father, and he's reporting his own murders on a news broadcast for the police.

I like to think he didn't practice cannibalism until he got to hell. But if he did practice while alive, it probably would have been during the Great Depression. Times have gotten hard, and while he still has his job, money is tight, and it would be so much easier if he just took a cut or two from the man he just murdered.

However, he still has to dispose of the less edible bits (clothes, hair, bones, etc), and he does so in the bayou behind his house. One day though, there was a hunter who for some reason thought he was a deer. Barking Alerts Alastor of his presence, and he takes off, dogs close behind and baying loudly. Then a gunshot cracks through the air, and Alastor feels a split second pain in his head before collapsing to the ground. The bullet somehow didn't kill him, but it did paralyze him, so there's nothing Alastor can do to fight when the dogs eventually begin tearing into him. In the end, it was the blood loss that killed him as he was mauled, and it seemed like an eternity before he finally succumbed to that. (this is what breeds Alastor's severe dislike (read: fear) of dogs

this is pretty rough, but I figured I'd probably better just get it all out at once lol. Let me know what you think!!