Regulus “please Don’t Say You Love Me” Black.

Marlene: gaslighting doesn’t work on me

Mary: ..oh?

Marlene: because I already don’t trust my, terrible, memory and I don’t care what really happened

Barty, Dorcas & Evan: *walking into the Gryffindor common room*

Remus: *with his face in his hands with his shoulders moving up and down*

James: *on the ground laughing loudly*

Peter and Marlene: *with their hands on their knees, laughing loudly*

Dorcas: …what happened?

Remus: Marlene was trying to see if she could get on her broom inside-

Evan: uh oh

Remus: and she almost hit Peter with it and James said duck and they both quacked.

“I keep these longings lockеd, in lowercase, inside a vault.” But it’s Sirius Black hiding his feelings about Remus Lupin.

“The alchemy by taylor swift” but it’s actually just James’ lovers to/about James.

Peter: do you truly think so little of me?

James, Lily, Marlene, Sirius, Remus, Mary: Peter, I thought the world of you.

My new favourite headcanon that I made up, last night when I was supposed to be sleeping:

It’s that Pete made up all the marauders nicknames while he was high and the conversation went a little something like..

Remus: Pete how much did you have?

Pete: [very clearly high out of his mind] .. ‘othing.

Sirius: oh you’re absolutely wasted

Pete: nuhhh..

James: cmon Pete, let’s get you to bed

Pete: no!!.. you heard did ya?

James: sorry?

Pete: that people make nicknames.. like moonguy over there.. [lazily points his hand over to Remus’ direction]

James & Sirius: [laughing] moonguy??

Remus: oh my god.

Pete: I mean y’all.. don’t talk

Sirius: ..we can’t talk..?

Pete: yea.. you- have pads on your feet.. so you- *gags*

James: oh Padfoot come help me bring him to the bathroom *smirks*

Sirius: ..I hate you

Remus: Not so funny anymore is it?

Pete: oka.. moon..y

Sirius: ..moony..!

James: I like Moony better

Remus: I hate you all.

Sirius: *blows a kiss to Remus*

James: *helping Peter get to the bathroom*

Pete: why..?

Prongs: pardon?

Sirius: what’s he saying?

James: uhh, I don’t know

Pete: you have no..

James: who? ..Me or Sirius?

Pete: both.. you

James: what don’t I have?

Pete: noo uhh. no, no collar-

Pete: I see deers with collars in zoos..

James: well I don’t want to wear a collar, that’s for wild deer

Sirius: *walks in*

Pete: you should get a.. met.. ual one..

James: metal?

Sirius: a what?

Pete: Like a..

Sirius: a metal collar? What like a prongs? Aren’t they for dogs..-

Pete: prongs..! *hugs James*

Sirius: oh! Ha Prongs!! *hugs Pete & James*

Remus: huh?

Sirius: Pete came up with another nickname!

Remus: Hold up we’re not actually gonna use them? Are we??

Sirius: of course we are.. Moony

Remus: I hate you

James: *says from the bathroom* So Remus is Moony, Sirius is Padfoot and, apparently, I’m Prongs.

Remus: what’s Peter going to be?

James: well his Animagus is a rat so we can make something out of that-

Sirius: ..rattail..!

Remus: rat’s tails look like worms kinda.. or maybe-

Sirius: wormtail!!

Pete: nuh.. uh. *still over in the toilet*

James: it’s perfect.

And that’s how they got their nicknames, thank you for listening

“Cooler in theory, but not if you force it to be. It just didn't happen” But it’s Jegulus.

“You take get man out of the city, not the city out the man” but it’s what the marauders “city” would be

The Marauders

James Potter — you take the man out the love, not the love out the man.

Remus Lupin — the take the man out the werewolf, not the werewolf out the man.

Sirius Black — you take the man out the house, not the house out the man.

Peter Pettigrew — you take the man out the rat, not the rat out the man.

The Valkyries

Lily Evans — you take the (wo)man out the magic, not the magic out the (wo)man.

Marlene McKinnon — you take the (wo)man out the betrayal, not the betrayal out the (wo)man.

Mary MacDonald — you take the (wo)man out the memories, not the memories out the (wo)man.

The Skittle Squad / Emeralds

Regulus — you take the man out the black, not the black out the man.

Pandora — you take the (wo)man out the “crazy”, not the “crazy” out the (wo)man.

Evan — you take the man out the deatheater, not the deatheater out the man.

Barty — you take the dad out the man, not the man out the dad.

Dorcas — you take the loss out the (wo)man, not the (wo)man out the loss.

Guys what if I told you that James Potter’s lover(s) always sit in his lap?

James: takes care of everyone else before himself

Barty: takes care of James before anyone else