My Mom Thinks I Am In A Cult. No, The Secret History, Iwwv, And Dead Poet's Society Are Not Books/movie,

Suffering from burnout while working on an essay about burnout is the type of dramatic irony I want in my life.

Started the new year on the wrong foot by watching DIABOLIK LOVERS;

Is it wrong to call it my guilty pleasure, mostly the anime; the game is 😱😨😨😨😳🫢🫢

So naturally here's a rating of the boys; DISCLAIMER---- I KNOW they are terrible and would never be hot irl but this is fiction and we love mentally ill mfs in this house. I do not condone violence and assault. And I don't think this is a good representation of bdsm community. It is a work of fiction that should be taken as such.

1. Shu Sakamaki: babygirl

10/10

When I first saw him, he was already my fav. Lowkey the best choice despite his actions, he's the least likely to harm you, cuz he will just ignore you. And man is PRETTY. He looks like a prince okay? If he calls me a perv and a slut, I will just accept it cuz I am FOR HIM. (I am just gone, bye bye my long lost sanity). He was okay in HDB, but in Dark Fate, with the cat, I am sorry, I can't take it 💓💓💓💓. Shu takes first place mostly cuz this is an Otome game and I find him the most attractive, but this also might be cuz he is more laid back and older, which makes me feel more interested in him. His backstory makes sense of why he is so distant, if my brother killed my best friend and HIS ENTIRE VILLAGE I would stop giving a fuck too. Also while we are at it, Fuck Reji, Shu did nothing wrong 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬. If he is a red flag, I am colorblind.

2. Subaru Sakamaki: baby tsundere

9/10

I have a history with loving tsunderes the most, so naturally his whole "....I lik---fuck off" made me giggling and kicking my feet. But not for long, his violent behaviour actually fucking scared me (all of their behaviour ofc) but the fact he is a walking rage ball doesn't help his case. BUT he is definitely the least perverted out of all of them (Shu isn't, he is on level with Laito when it comes to it). He blushes from the start of the game, he warns you multiple times not to get close and leave. And when he says "I love you" I believe it okay. Cuz I think he does truly love Yui. He doesn't make fun of her looks, he likes hugging her and while violent at the start, by Dark Fate, he is just a big old softie. I don't think any of the Sakamaki's love Yui as much as he does. I just want to give him a hug okay? I feel so bad for him at times. Fucking Karlheinz, fuck him. When he kissed Yui while she was sleeping ahhhh, he also apologize to her, asked for consent, as well as felt embarrassed when he saw her in a bath. Him and Yui also bicker like an old married couple and she doesn't hold back when it comes to him. I dock points at his wall breaking 😭😭😭 and the fact he feels a bit too young for me now (I don't like younger guys sorry).

3. Ayato Sakamaki: dumb jock energy

7/10

I didn't like him at first, his whole "yours truly" drove me insane but he kinda grew on me. Mostly cuz of the fanarts and stuff. I didn't think I'd give him this much credit but I had to. He's the main guy after all. With marrying Yui in all good endings and just generally being the one who wants to claim her the most (all of them do but I think ayato especially hates seeing her with anyone). He gives off massive jock energy, and his "pancake" made me mad at first but that became funny (I should not be laughing at the scene where Yui was reading his magazines but I did 😭😭😭). Now he is SUPER aggressive with Yui, my girl never deserved any of this, at times he really gets on my nerves cuz he is so contradictory. Like if you want her just say it, throwing her in the pool and then rescuing her??? Bitch, you are stupid. But his whole stupid behaviour feels charming to me, I love dumb guys they are funny as hell unintentionally. Cordelia can rot in hell, that's all. To me, the best looking and the best choice out of the triplets. I understand why him and Yui are the best Dialovers ship cuz I get the memo.

4. Laito Sakamaki: hear me out---call cops

4/10

Dumbass fedora wearing little----

I thought he would be lower in the list when I first saw him. But...he's kinda funny to me. Idc but his whole "bitch-chan" made me laugh so much. Maybe I was just looking for the bare minimum to like any of these guys, cuz I think Laito doesn't suck as much as I expected. Would I run from him? Yeah. Everything he does is overtly perverted and sexual. But there is a reason behind all this. Cordelia really DID HIM BAD. She fucking groomed him, I understand why he went all crazy in the head. HIS MOTHER...IM SORRY I CAN'T TAKE IT. While I don't like his route and in terms of the romance aspect I don't want him. But he gives SO many funny moments and is just such a goldmine in memes that I can't help but like him. Also being a thigh guy, huge respect. I definitely don't hate him, unexpectedly, he can become one of my "hear me out---". If he didn't fucking assualt Yui so many times, I might have put him above Ayato.

5. Kanato Sakamaki: Demon child

2/10

He looks mentally ill. He actually looks like a malnourished victorian boy. He looks possessed. And I DON'T LIKE HIM.

My feelings towards Kanato are so complicated. Like I do find him funny at times but he usually makes me roll my eyes. In terms of the romance aspect, just no, no, NO. Even my 14 year old self wouldn't like him, he looks like a CHILD. There's nothing attractive in him, the other boys have something, Kanato is just a demon child. And his teddy, I want to burn that teddy just cuz it makes Kanato even more annoying when he's talking to it. Did you not take your pills Kanato? Why are you the way you are. Ofc it's all his deadbeat dad and especially his bitch of a mother's fault. She had affairs in front of this little boy, no wonder he is so ill. He's definitely the most unhinged of the brothers, even they find him scary at times. He would just kill you for funsies. He would. I don't hate him but I don't like him either.

6. Reiji Sakamaki: Bleh Bleh Bleh

1/10

I am sorry I can't take this man seriously. Everything he says and does makes me go "ughhhhhhh" so bad. When he got mad at Shu for leaving their weekly dinners, aura point loss, loser behaviour. The only reason I gave him 1 point is cuz he's hot...sometimes. I generally love glasses guys but no Reiji just gets on nerves each time he opens his fucking mouth and says smtg on the lines of "um....akschully 🤓"

Fuck you. Fuck Reiji. His entire backstory is just being jealous of Shu. And then he spends his entire life trying to get on Shu's nerves and the fact Shu doesn't give a fuck drives Reiji even more. When he killed his mother and wanted to revive her just to kill her in a satisfying manner...bro... 😭. His relationship with Yui sucks, his little tea parties suck, he just sucks. I know Reiji has his fans, but I am a hater. With Kanato I don't like him romantically but with Reiji I don't like him at all. And when he spanks Yui and is like "don't drink her blood assholes" and then does the SAME thing. He actually made me mad. I was ready for whatever came my way when I got into this but Reiji is so annoying that I would take fucking Latio over him. All of this rage just cuz his mom didn't listen to his poem or whatever. I am sorry you are parentless Reiji, I just cannot care less about you 🍵.

And....

I love you Yui. Such an adorable girl. I feel so bad for her the entire time. She deserves so much.

Top 3 ships ranking:

1. Ayato x Yui

2. Subaru x Yui

3. Shu x Yui

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Is killing someone wrong?

Slyherin: No.

Gryffindor: I mean there are some people that need to be uh....eliminated.

Ravenclaw: depends on the person and if you can get away with it.

Hufflepuff: YES!!!!!

Since Yosano is off-limits she won't be considered.

1. Dazai: it makes no narrative sense to make him join the Port Mafia again, when he left at his own accord. The reason he left and changed himself as a person was because of his promise to Oda and him getting back to the Mafia takes all the weight from that promise. We already have a BSD 15 manga that's about Dazai being in the Mafia and the skk shenanigans, we honestly don't need more. Mori seems like he wants Dazai back in the Mafia, in a keep your friends close and your enemies closer fashion. Dazai going back to the Mafia can be interesting, but it's not good for Dazai's character arc. (Still has a chance)

2. Atsushi: since he is the protagonist, it makes the most sense for him to get transferred. Just like how we saw the ins and outs of ADA, we get to see how the current Mafia works on the regular basis. It would be interesting to see his interactions with Mori. We definitely like SSKK team up, now they will be in the same team too (maybe that's why the last scene of S5 they are working together, the transfer already happened). I want Canon Atsushi and Chuuya to interact!!! Their dynamic in Wan gives me so much serotonin.

3. Kunikida: while he can be quite a good asset, his ideals are too important for him to actually do something against it for the PM. He is a bit like Oda in that respect, a Mafia member who won't kill.

4. Ranpo: doesn't have abilities but his smarts is what makes him stand out among the rest of the ADA. But the biggest value in him is that he is practically Fukuzawa's son, someone whom he cares for greatly. Making Ranpo transfer to PM would be a huge slap on the face for Fukuzawa.

5. Junichiro: is the most hinted to actually join the PM. He is also the only ADA member to openly say his abilities could suit the Mafia and he might transfer there if no one else does. It's clear he has quite the violent side to him and the instincts to kill. He could be an interesting addition to the PM, and it paves the way for Tanazaki's backstory. I also wonder if Naomi would join the PM too, or she would stay with the ADA opposing her brother or leave the agency to remain neutral.

6. Kenji: is a highly unlikely choice for the PM. He has a strong ability but his personality isn't simply suited for Mafia. Although it would be funny to watch Kenji change the Mafia's heart and have innocent fun.

7. Kyouka: another ex-mafia member. She is a good choice, as her ability is really strong and good for the mafia. But since she too left (kicked out); her going back doesn't add to her character. While it might seem like Kouyou can influence Mori to take Kyouka back, but she already has accepted that Kyouka should stay in the light and stay away from the Mafia lifestyle (Aku also wants Kyouka to be happy).

Maybe Asagiri pulls another card and makes Fukuzawa transfer so he can complete his old man Yaoi arc with Mori, who knows? (/j)

"We accept the love, we think we deserve"

- The perks of being a Wallflower.

So.....I deserve nothing ig?

"My taste in fashion and my budget in fashion are not the same thing"

-Jack Edwards (source: Youtube " I tried dark academia aesthetic for a week")

I watched Persuasion (2022) and can't BELIEVE how terrible it was. Like I heard it was bad. But I never thought I would get so much cringe from a Jane Austen movie.....

As if writers actually think gen Z won't understand Jane Austen's writing.

The reason we read Jane Austen is to read lines like

"You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you"

Have I memorised that....YES!!!

Persuasion (2022) tried to be the next Emma (2020) but became Bridgerton.

L: I love eating cake

Light: (what is he trying to say? Is he trying to see if my reaction to him liking cake means I am kira? Is he baiting me to posion him? I could poison all his food and blame it all on Matsuda if I want. He probably makes Watari taste all his food before he eats them)

L: Light, do you like cake?

Light: (is this a trick? Is he trying to make me think about cakes while he analyses my responses, to see if I am Kira or not? Does my answer prove I am innocent or guilty? He can't prove anything by my answer) Not much, Riyuzaki.

L: Kira doesn't like cakes, what a shame.

Light: how do you know?

L: you just said you don't like Cake much didn't you Light?

Light: (uhhh he got me! How did I slip up!) I am not Kira

L: yeah sure and I am not the best detective in the world

*ADA DURING AN EMERGENCY*

Kunikida: quick where's Dazai, we need him

Kenji: he isn't here, he went home

Tankizaki: let me call him

Kunikida: he's not answering

Ranpo: Osamu has a habit of not answering calls when he's drinking

Yosano: where's Atsushi?

Kunikida: Junichiro and I called him so many times what makes you think Dazai will answer him?

Yosano: cuz he's Atsushi? Everyone is wrapped around his little finger

Kunikida: that's not true---

Atsushi: ---hello, Dazai-san?

Dazai: hey, Atsushi kun~ Why did you call ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

Kunikida: .....

Read from page 90 to 112 ☠️

I wish I could read for longer but my habit is dying away~~~

There are so many details in this one book that it makes complete sense why Donna Tartt took a decade to write it

I can analyse it for a decade and still not understand everything and know every detail 😭😭😭😭