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Gryffindor: did Ravenclaw just use "stupefy" on you?
Slytherin: me and my girl don't argue, she bash my head with a rock and I walk it off like a man.
Hufflepuff: *sneezes*
Slytherin: here *gives handkerchief*
Hufflepuff: you are so nice!
Slytherin: NO I AM NOT. I didn't want any germs from you. That's why I gave you a handkerchief.
Hufflepuff: :)
Ravenclaw: *gets papercut* ouch
Slytherin: *puts bandage on* I fucking hate you. Why do you hurt yourself all the time?
Ravenclaw: *whispers* how did you get in my house?
Slytherin: Gryffindor is stupid.....an idiot....useless
Someone: yeah, I agree. Gryffindor sucks
Slytherin: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT GRYFFINDOR?
(Headcanon: Slytherin is a soft Tsundere)
What would you do in a trolley problem? Hit the 5 people in your way or save them and hit a spectator?
Hufflepuff: I would not like to hit anyone but if I had to.....the spectator. Because killing one person is better than 5.
Gryffindor: I would hit the 5 people, it would be wrong to kill an innocent bystander.
Ravenclaw: try to stop the trolley somehow or else jump off the trolley, I can't handle responsibility.
Slytherin: hit the 5 people, then reverse the trolley and hit the spectator. No witness, no crime.
Slytherin and Ravenclaw on a date:
*Gryffindor spying on them with Hufflepuff*
Hufflepuff: this is so creepy, why are we here?
Gryffindor: why did you come then?
Hufflepuff: you told me we are getting ice cream and feed ducks in the pond!
Slytherin: they are spying on us aren't they?
Ravenclaw: ofc, hiding behind the lamp post won't help Gryffindor
Slytherin: do you know how we can scare them?
Ravenclaw: *nods* I am ready
*both pull out knives at the same time*
Ravenclaw: honey, are you ready for our next murder spree?
Slytherin: You bet I am. I heard someone following us.
Ravenclaw: the last victims are not even found yet....
Gryffindor looks at Hufflepuff: this is the moment.
Hufflepuff: what? I can't hear anything and why are they pulling out knives are they going to......
Gryffindor: RUN!!!!!!RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!
Hufflepuff: Ahhhhhh....all I wanted was to eat free ice cream!
Slytherin: they are not coming back
Ravenclaw: No.
Slytherin: why do you have a knife anyways? As a surgeon I have knives all over me.
Ravenclaw raises eyebrow: you never know when they come in handy...let's go I want cotton candy......NOW
Slytherin: *nervous laughter* you are so cute.
Ravenclaw: I have become accustomed to people being annoying. I am getting better dealing with them after I moved in with my new roommates. They are very unpredictable people---
Hufflepuff: ----Hey give me my pillow back, it's my favourite!!!!!
Gryffindor: I am not giving you this back, I need a pillow, I didn't bring one!
Slytherin: Give me the pillow Gryffindor!
*Gryffindor throws the pillow at Slytherin*
Slytherin: Here, take it *gives it back to Hufflepuff*
Gryffindor: I thought you were on my side! You betrayed me!
Slytherin: I just love watching you get mad.
Gryffindor: How am I supposed to sleep now without a pillow?
Slytherin: we can share one.
Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw: .....
Slytherin: why are you making this a huge deal? I sleep during the day and you sleep during the night, it's simple.
Gryffindor: Oh I thought you wanted to fuck....
Slytherin: you wouldn't?
Gryffindor: unless you want me to.
Hufflepuff: ....what is happening.....
Ravenclaw: Told you they are unpredictable, did you think this will be going in that direction?
Gryffindor turns to Ravenclaw: and you! Are you crazy? Who are you always talking to? What are you? Dora the Explorer?
Gryffindor: Is Ravenclaw alright? What's wrong with them?
Hufflepuff: what do you mean by that, they look completely fine!
Gryffindor: they are literally crying in corner with a cup of coffee since half an hour.
Hufflepuff: we all cry sometimes out of the blue...
Gryffindor: really? I DON'T. Hey Slytherin can you talk to Ravenclaw? You seem like the only person who understands them
Slytherin: *shrugs in a nonchalant way* Okay
(Walks to Ravenclaw, bends down and asks softly)
Slytherin: are you alright, buddy?
Ravenclaw: I finished a book and....
Slytherin: and your favourite character died?
Ravenclaw: YES AND I'M DEPRESSED. WHY DO THE GOOD CHARACTERS DIE?
Slytherin: and was this character a morally grey anti hero?
Ravenclaw:......how do you know.
Slytherin: I get it I have been there *patting their head*
Gryffindor: did I just witness Slytherin showing affection?
Hufflepuff: *squee*
(I know we all love the Hufflepuff×Slytherin but....I LOVE Ravenclaw×Slytherin way more!!!! It's like two very similar people but yet so different. And THE POTENTIAL CHEMISTRY!!!)
Gryffindor: So, guys what's our plan?
Slytherin: having a plan is lame, let's improvise.
Hufflepuff: it's Ravenclaw's birthday so let them decide....
Gryffindor: I was thinking Raven can do with some more friends, I will invite all my 300 friends to the party.
Slytherin: I was thinking about a masquerade. Something dramatic like Ravenclaw.
Hufflepuff: but guys they hate party or crowded event and noise...
Gryffindor: you know what I am thinking about...
Slyhterin: Fireworks!!!!
Gryffindor: it will be our best party yet!
Ravenclaw to Hufflepuff (via text): this is why I avoid people.
Is killing someone wrong?
Slyherin: No.
Gryffindor: I mean there are some people that need to be uh....eliminated.
Ravenclaw: depends on the person and if you can get away with it.
Hufflepuff: YES!!!!!