I Don’t Know How To Say This In A Non-obsessed Way, But I Need The Ao3 Status Updates To Be Beamed

Reblog if you say "Y'all"

i just realized that i’d definitely be the first to go in a horror movie, like i’d see something/somebody looking hurt and i’d go see if i could help it/them, and then bam *insert stab or other horror shit here*

the fact that lesbians can't cum inside each other is a damn crime

Guy wearing "I ❤️ Arson" Shirt: Let me redecorate your house.

Voters: Okay.

Voters, later: Oh, no, the house is on fire!

Firefighter: I can put it out but you need to kick out the arsonist guy.

Voters: Whatever! Do it!

Voters, later: Ew, the house smells like smoke!

Firefighter: Okay? It was on fire earlier. I'm still dealing with it.

Guy wearing "I ❤️ Arson and Killing Firefighters" Shirt: Let me back in and I'll fix the smoke issue.

Firefighter: Don't! He will literally set your house on fire again. He brought a whole crew with matches and cans of gasoline with him.

Voters: I'm pretty sure those are paint cans.

Firefighter: It says gasoline on the cans!

Voters: Get out, I'm gonna let the previous guy in.

trump dies of congestive heart failure before being sworn in charge to like cast to reblog

bucky barnes

headcanons masterlist

bucky headcanons

grocery shopping with bucky

making bucky jealous

bucky taking your virginity

baking with bucky

soulmate abcs : letter j

soulmate abcs : letter z

soulmate abcs : letter s

bucky barnes praising you at the gym

bucky discovers you have nipple piercings

bucky as a professor

bucky and the girl from the coffee shop

bucky’s girl is afraid of scary movies

telling bucky you’re pregnant

no one comes to his son’s b-day party

you get jealous

watching IT with bucky

bucky likes feeling you up when you cuddle

giving birth to a super soldier baby

mutual masturbation with roommate!bucky

dilf!bucky fucks you in front of mirror

bartender!bucky hate fucking you in the bathroom

bucky barnes + praise kink (zombie au)

winter soldier headcanons

soldat in bed

Strap from a lesbian who is going to tell you that they're gonna breed you and get you pregnant and they fuck you like they're trying to put a baby in you!

*taps mic* STEVE HARRINGTON IS NOT STUPID.

Thank you for your time.

𝒫𝓇𝑒𝒸𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ || Bucky Barnes had accepted a long time ago that he was meant to be alone. Even if he did have a perfect match, why would he put her through being the soulmate of the winter soldier?

You had been dreaming of the day you met your other half, wishing for your kind of fairytale in a fucked up world.

With happiness so close, can Bucky truly deny himself of the sweet, clumsy girl he know he belongs with?

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs || eventual smut, 18+, virgin reader, innocent!reader, angst, fluff, bucky being self loathing, canon divergence, soulmate au (juxtaposition), pet names [precious], injuries, jealously, side steve x natasha

ɴᴏᴛᴇs || i have been super excited for this for a long time and i want to make a big series with it, im currently planning five chapters obv but more could be added!

𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚜 : 𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five