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7-year-old cTommy not understanding why his father and older brother leave for prolonged periods of time. It used to be two to three weeks, but as cTechno grew older, the longer it took for Tommy to be able to see his favorite brother. And unfortunately for him, no one told him about the voices that plagued Techno’s mind at all hours of the day.
They’re home once more, Phil shooing off Tommy outside for peace and quiet, and Techno giving him small trinkets he picked up, along with a promise to let Tommy braid his hair later. Tommy, being the good little brother he is, goes to pick his brother’s favorite flowers, only to come back to Techno a snarling mess, lashing out at anyone who comes near him.
Tommy doesn’t understand what’s going on nor why his father and other brother are looking at Techno like a monster; all he sees is his big brother in pain and confusion. He approaches slowly, flowers held out with a shaky smile, and Techno looks at him, slowly reaching his hand out.
The tear of flesh like paper, and Tommy is screaming whether from the pain of the wound or being yanked back so violently away from Techno. Techno, blinking in confusion, looks down to the blood now coating his hand and then to his injured little brother struggling to get back to him.
Phil and Techno are gone the next morning.
-It wasn’t until Pogtopia that Tommy saw Techno again, leaning against the man’s shoulder as he spoke of the places he went, the things he learned. How somehow the blood of his sounder is able to pull him back, not quite distinguish the voices, but calms them. It’s quiet after that, Tommy telling Techno it was never his fault and he never blamed him. Techno holds him closer but doesn’t answer.
-It’s exile and for some reason Techno was helping Tommy, though he had no reason to. His brother doesn’t care, he knows this, yet he loves Techno too much to let him go as easily as he was. It slipped out by accident, what Dream did, how he deserved it, the meaning of the Tower Techno had found him beside. And for some reason that made Techno angry, and Tommy could see how quickly he was losing himself.
It shouldn’t work, Techno didn’t think of him as family anymore, but it was worth a try. Digging his nails into arm, he breaks open the stitches, letting the blood run freely. And it worked. He could see the cloudiness leaving Techno’s eyes, how he rushed over to Tommy’s side.
Techno was flinging insults at him, but Tommy couldn’t care less. Techno still thought of him as a brother, he still loved him. Tommy went to sleep that night with a smile on his face and a weight lifted off his shoulders.
-Tommy had fucked up big time. He probably should have gotten Phil, but he just had to play the hero. He had never seen Techno so bad before, even the blood from the wound in Tommy’s shoulder hardly phased him. Maybe it was because their bond was so frayed Techno needed more.
So, he provoked him. As Techno attacked, he met him halfway. Despite the sword that was ran through him, the snow turning pink under his feet, he threw his arms around Techno’s neck, pulling his face down so their foreheads touched and their eyes met.
It wasn’t working. Still, Tommy muttered reassurances to him. To come back to him, fight it, that he was stronger than this. To not be afraid because his little brother was there to make it all better like always. That ‘I love you, Techie.’
But Techno didn’t love him enough anymore for the voices to be quelled. And that was okay, Tommy understood. At least he tried, one last time. With that thought, he let himself fall.
-It was cold when Techno woke up. He had gotten angry, he wasn’t even sure for, but he didn’t want help this time. He wanted to feel blood on his hands and he didn’t care whose it was. But now he needed to get home. He needed…Tommy. The boy’s name was nothing more than a whisper on his lips. His baby brother, his runt, his family, looking so small curled up like that, almost as if he was asleep and Techno could pick him up and tuck him under the covers.
But he knew what death looked like. Especially when he was the one that caused it. Techno could fight a thousand men in one go to protect his little brother, but this, this was a battle Techno couldn’t win. This time, Techno couldn’t be the hero in Tommy’s story.
And for the first time in his life, the voices where completely silent.