AnyoneWhosEverNeededToGiveAUrineSampleKnowsWhatIMean - Blog Posts

“At first I thought it was a design flaw… the builders adding a 0 by mistake and extending the floor 10 times its intended length… but as I walked towards the toilet I found that it seemed to be getting further and further away… I started walking faster… feet turn to miles but I don’t seem to be getting closer… I’m running now and the end of the bathroom is getting farther and farther out of sight, I’m sprinting at full speed, the dull need to use the restroom is now a burning pain throughout my entire body, it’s so far. How long have I been running? Every step I take sends a wave of fire through my core. It HURTS!!!! The agony continues and builds with each passing step, what was once a simple task has evolved from a bathroom break to begging permission to lay down and die. I’m progressing solely because to stop now would invalidate all the pain I’ve felt since not just entering the hallway but through my entire life…

And suddenly everything peaks and for a fraction of a second the world is still… And then the toilet reappears on the horizon… It’s getting closer again, the pain is starting to numb… my pace is slowing and the deep agony within me is transforming into neutral complacency… Running turns to walking, Miles back to Feet… And then I’m there… the end of the hallway…

I open the toilet lid and unzip my fly…

I don’t feel like peeing…

I'm always shitting in locations like this