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Coping - Blog Posts
Anxiety Moments #1
Listening to top 10 most inspiring movie speeches in the the car to pump yourself up enough to walk into a Michael’s.
Just pretend I have the editing skills to change all the titles to Coping
When something bad happens to you, you may feel you have to change as a person, you act out and make up a new personality that isn't you to cope, and sometimes you take it so far you don't even remember who you are anymore, I've been dealing with this for the longest time, but I think I've found a good way to explain the way I'm trying to connect to old me and hopefully find out who I am.
Imagine your image of yourself, the way you are is a mirror, and when the bad shit happens, the mirror slightly cracks after something like that happens. You may be like me and purposely chance your personality to deal with that and try not to be like the old you to stop the feelings. Now imagine that is just you breaking the mirror even more. After a few years of this behavior, you can't even recognize your reflection anymore because the mirror has gotten so small it's just shards. So you try to find one shard you can still see yourself in (one part of your past self you still connect to) and try to feel like that version of you again. Eventually, you will connect the bits of the mirror together again. And sure, it may not be perfect, but it's you, and you can stick the bits of mirror together anyway you want. use glue? sure, stickers? why not, tape? fuck yes, that represents the you you are now still being a part of the new you maybe some shards won't fit you anymore maybe the mirror will have a different shape but it's still you in the reflection looking back at yourself.
Once you fix the mirror and find out how to be the you you were before you pretended to be someone else again, you can try and live on and change naturally because of experiences Instead of obsessively making up personalities you're trying so hard to be hoping one day one will feel right, you can slowly, over time, change, mature, and become a different person, and that person would (hopefully) be you.
Sorry if this sounds dumb it's just an idea I use to try and find myself again, I'm still working through it, so I don't know if it works yet.
no wikihow article can help me sort through this bullshit
hey everyone! it’s been a while since i made a masterpost, and i recently found some good health-related apps on the play store that i thought to consolidate into a post.
all these apps are available for both ios and android users! i’ve also grouped similar apps together.
fyi: these apps are not intended to replace your therapist/counselor – they only act as an aid. the apps listed here are those that seemed credible enough and had good ratings on the play store. some may help you and some might not. since i don’t have depression or panic attacks, i can’t speak for the efficacy of some of the apps here.
For stress, depression, anxiety, or panic attacks:
Rootd: exercises to help with anxiety and panic attacks, as well as lessons understand anxiety. it also includes emergency contact if you need help and a personal stats page.
Self-help Anxiety Management (SAM): exercises to help you manage your anxiety. you can also build your ‘anxiety tookit’ and chat with other SAM users.
PanicShield: for those who have panic attacks. it has a breathing tool to calm you down, information about panic attacks, and two techniques to train your mind to have fewer panic attacks (based on two types of therapy).
MoodSpace: short, interactive mood workouts that may help treat depression.
InnerHour: a self-help app for stress, anxiety or depression. it has small daily tasks, helps you deal with distressing situations, helps control your stressful thinking patterns, and has a relief box.
Moodpath: an interactive two-week depression and anxiety screening program that tracks your emotional and physical wellbeing and generates a personalized mental health assessment that you can discuss with therapists.
Calm Harm: tasks to help you resist or manage the urge to self-harm.
To generally improve your life:
Youper: conversations with a bot to improve your mood and emotional health. it also has mindfulness and meditation exercises, a mood tracker, journal and symptoms tracker.
Wysa: similar to Youper, Wysa is a chatbot who reacts to the emotions you express to help with anxiety, stress, low mood, anger or sleep issues.
Primed Mind: a life coach to help you reach your personal goals and improve yourself. it can help you build habits, calm down, fall asleep quickly, and study effectively.
Headspace: meditation and mindfulness exercises
Just Rain: a soothing audiovisual rain simulator where you can control the degree of rain sounds.
Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
it'll be over soon
WWAIT WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN
i feel like suguru never broke the habit of eating candy/drinking soda after eating curses.
like even as an adult with all the cult leader stuff, he still always carried around small candies or lollipops to stave off the nasty taste after eating a curse. especially after you came into his life.
it felt strange to eat a curse only to kiss you with those same lips without something to cleanse his palette. he didn’t want to associate the bitter taste of a curse with your lips, he’d much rather associate them with something sickly sweet.
the sound of crinkling wrappers and soft crunching had become customary, a sort of white noise after suguru had ingested a curse. he always, always leaned in for a kiss after, slipping his dyed tongue into your mouth as you hummed at the sweet flavor laving over your tastebuds, even playfully trying to guess the flavor from the remnants of the sugary treat.
that’s why you watched him expectantly as he finished the remnants of his lollipop, his tongue mindlessly fiddling with the stick for a moment before throwing it away. he raised an eyebrow when he noticed your stare, a smirk gracing his lips.
“is there something on my face?” he sounded too smug to be clueless. you only shook your head in response, that same wide eyed, expectant gaze fixed on his face.
he broke sooner than he would’ve liked, clicking his tongue with a small “c’mere.” he fought back a smile when you came closer, cupping your face in his hands before pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss. you pulled him closer, a small gasp leaving him when you sucked on his tongue softly before pulling away completely with a thoughtful hum.
“is it peach?”
he gave you an incredulous look, a small laugh leaving him at your words. god, you were going to be the death of him.
(you were right.)
Because we all need to hear this sometimes.
I’ve been having a bad couple of weeks and I just really needed to hear these:
You are NOT a burden
You are valued
You are NOT a shitty friend, even when you think you are
You don’t need to have it all figured out yet
It’s OK to have bad days
And it’s OK to hide from the world if you’re having a bad day
Because sometimes you just need to have some time to yourself
And that’s OK
You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to
What happened to you in the past is NOT your fault
Don’t feel guilty for not being productive
It’s going to be OK
Breathe
Relax
Recharge
YOU ARE WANTED
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU CAN DO THIS
I BELIEVE IN YOU
sometimes the only way to chase away the pain is cracking open an ice cold coke and turning up the 2012 pop music
tfw you're not sure if you're excited for Christmas anymore
San Diego Fountain Pool Pool fountain: idea for a tropical backyard fountain with a custom shape
Yes, the mythology fandom won’t wish death or eternal torture upon someone because of their mythology, unlike christians.
It's a lot easier to deal with Christians around Christmas when you start thinking about the religion as mythology.
Treat the stories the same way we treat Greek or Roman mythology.
Christians are just all part of the Jesus fandom.
One of my things is to wear something I think my favorite characters would wear to give myself a semblance of comfort
Traditional Pool Ideas for remodeling a mid-sized, classic backyard with concrete pavers and a naturally occurring pool fountain
Calm Before The Storm
There were no more Yellows now. Which as a result meant no more mercy, or grace periods. No one would show kindness anymore, not when the entire world was against you. Allies would only be standing in your way. Hindrances to success.
Scott stood at the diving board, staring out upon the server. He could see everyone beginning to head back to their bases clearly. His fingers itched, the way they always did when he was Red, slowly finding his bow and holding it up. An arrow was nocked, aimed and ready for someone's head. He didn't know whose head. It didn't matter in the end. They were all just heads on bodies waiting to be chopped off.
Shaking himself out of it, he lowered his bow and put the arrow back in its quiver.
Gem was sat on the floor with her sword in her lap. A strand of hair fell over her eyes and she hastily brushed it away. She stared at her reflection in the sword, a frown tugging at her lips, tilting it this way and that presumably to find a noticeable change.
Everyone felt different as a Red.
No one knew how. There were no physical differences to before, no changes in demeanour or personality. A player didn't instantly grow cold and calculated with an intense thirst for blood. The bloodlust was always inside of them. It just never arose as a Green or a Yellow. It simmered in their stomachs on a low heat, only to have the temperature rocket up and the pot overflow, teeming with the urge to kill. The need to have blood on your fingers. To feel the weight of a weapon in your hands, or to hold the lever to set off a TNT trap.
Many tried to look for a difference. It was quite common for players unfamiliar with the game to do so. They always believed there to be something wrong with them physically, and resorted to searching for changes in what little time they had on their hands.
They never found anything, sadly, but no one did.
"Gem," Scott began, walking over to her. She lifted her eyes to his for a moment, then looked back down at her sword. "Gem." he repeated, firmer. She paid him no mind. Apparently a reflection was more important than her teammate.
Impulse stepped out of his house and sat next to Gem. He stretched his arms and placed his palms in the grass, running his hands through the blades. Like many other players, his hands were riddled with scars, burns, blisters and callouses. "What's up?"
"That's the problem," Scott replied. "Nothing. Nothing is happening."
"Isn't that a good thing?" Impulse asked. "I mean, that means we have time to prepare for an attack, or a trap." He nudged Gem with his arm playfully. "Right Gem?"
She didn't respond.
Scott leaned in a little closer and sighed. Her eyes had glazed over. Again.
"Third time today." he grumbled.
Standing up, Impulse bent down to scoop Gem up into his arms and made a start for the gate. He gestured with his head for Scott to follow, and follow he did. He opened the gate for Impulse, and the two of them descended down the stairs and walked past the Secret Keeper statue. The mere sight of it was enough to send shivers down Scott's spine and make him want to run.
They stopped by Cleo's first. Unsurprisingly, Etho was there too.
"What is it?" Cleo asked. She whispered something in Etho's ear and he nodded, scurrying off quickly.
Once his receding footsteps were out of earshot, Scott answered. "It's happening again. I'm gathering some of the players."
She nodded, gradually understanding. "Alright, just give me a moment to grab my things." she disappeared.
Scott stood there, impatiently tapping his foot until Etho arrived with Grian in tow. Both of them were holding bundles of blankets with some snacks thrown in there for good measure. Grian yawned, attempting to rub his eyes.
Cleo reemerged a short while later with more snacks and some water.
The group left and headed towards Pearl's, where Scott broke off from the group to retrieve an additional guest. Before he could even knock on the door, Martyn was outside with all his stuff, a small smile on his face.
"Cleo messaged me," he explained. Scott walked alongside him back to Pearl's, where everyone was sat waiting. Some of them weren't able to join them, so it wasn't quite as full a group as usual, but it was still something.
He took some of the blankets from Martyn and laid them out on the floor. Everyone else did the same, then sat down.
Gem was the last one to sit. Impulse had to guide her to an available spot and gently lower her until she was perched on the edge. Her eyes were still glazed, but a fraction of light and normalcy was returning to them already.
Scott sat down beside Impulse, with Martyn's head in his lap. He absent-mindedly twirled strands of Martyn's hair whilst humming a small tune. He couldn't recall where he'd heard it; perhaps in passing, in the space between the games, or maybe it had been playing when he was in a different server. It sounded similar to a drinking song, so maybe it had been from Pirates.
"Now what?" Grian asked. He perched himself far from the others, but close enough to Cleo and Etho to reach them in case of an unfortunate event. His gaze was on Gem, his eyes narrowing mildly.
Etho chimed in. "We hang out. Eat. Talk. And we wait for Gem to come back."
Cleo nodded in agreement, a small smile curling at her lips. Her hand met Etho's, and their fingers entwined.
---
It took a while for Gem to come back fully. She'd return in brief fits, then leave soon after. It was like flicking a switch on and off repeatedly, only more stressful and each wait seemed to stretch on for eternity.
But once she started to ground herself, it became easier.
Her thoughts were a swirling mass of death, flashes of red every time she shut her eyes. Something was wrong with her. Something had changed, but what? What had changed so drastically about her?
She looked the same. Felt the same. Even tasted the same, which she tested herself (although maybe she did taste different and simply didn't notice.)
But something about her must have been wrong.
She was wrong. A freak. A creature of her own design or maybe someone else's.
Whenever she came to, she was surrounded by people. Impulse's hand on her knee, fingers tapping along to a rhythm. Scott humming a tune, playing with Martyn's hair, his hums occasionally turning into snippets of song lyrics. Cleo and Etho holding hands and smiling, Etho's head on cleo's shoulder, eyes shut in contentment. Grian watching warily. Pearl next to him with a calming hand on his shoulder.
A pang struck her heart when she came to.
They were all here for her. They'd dropped whatever they were doing, for her.
She was important to them.
Gem fell back again into that whirlpool of thoughts. They swirled viciously in her mind, growling and barking and biting like a pack of rabid wolves. Their fur was the colour of blood, and Their eyes were pools of purple. A strange black liquid oozed from Their fangs and dripped onto the ground. They approached from all sides, closing in slowly, leaving Gem less and less time to escape.
Panic bubbled in her chest and she balled the clumps of her shirt in her hands, trying to remember how to breathe.
"You're okay," Impulse's voice whispered in her mind. Was she? She didn't feel like it. "I've got you."
She almost laughed at the thought. He didn't. Not only because she was here and he was out there but also because no one could ever truly have Gem secure in their company. There was always that thin line, that tightrope of danger she was obliged to walk on. One misstep and she fell back into that world of blood, wolves and that rising sense of fear.
"Gem, we're here for you. Take your time." Cleo.
"You've got this," was a half-hearted encouragement from Martyn. He yelped, grumbled under his breath, then hastily added, "I believe in you!"
A hand gently squeezed her kneecap. She saw it, saw the hand, but not the hand at the same time. It flickered in and out of physicality, not wanting to be there for too long. Then it settled into reality with a firm determination.
Something else appeared, too. A shaky apparition, a figure bathed in sunlight. His wings were folded against his back, his red sweater worn and fraying. There was a scar on his temple, and a bruise on his cheek. A second appeared closer to her, gently illuminated by small floating stars, his pointed ears sharp and alert. Then came another, in a cloak of woven moonlight, a toothy smile revealing her elongated canines.
Then finally came one surrounded by a thick outline of red. There was a pendant around his neck of a hand grasping an hourglass.
They all smiled kindly at her, their faces coming into visibility slowly. Everything unnatural about them faded away until they were simply Grian, Scott, Pearl and Martyn, all still in their respective positions.
"Welcome back," Etho greeted.
Scott exhaled in relief, his hand falling to his side. Martyn frowned at its absence, sitting up properly. His hand crept into Scott's lap and rested on his thigh. A grin curled at Scott's lips.
Gem leaned into Impulse. "I'm tired." she whispered, not trusting her voice enough to raise it much more. Still, her words carried across to the others and a blanket was tossed her way. She caught it easily - surprisingly enough, but that must've been a good thing if her reflexes were already coming back - and wrapped it around her shoulders.
"G'night," Martyn said, letting gravity push him backwards. Scott fell with him, letting out a displeased noise when his back hit the ground. "Let's all have a five minute grace period before killing each other, yeah?"
They all mumbled their assent.
Gem and Impulse lay down, close but not touching. She couldn't touch him just yet; her body still didn't quite feel as it should. But when it did, she'd hug him.
Until then, she'd have to rest.
A Red Life was many things; vicious, unforgiving, spiteful, vengeful.
But they were also kind, gentle and merciful when the time called for it.
Season 1: Vi and Jinx both cling to memories of who the other used to be.
Season 2: Vi and Jinx confront and learn to accept each other (and themselves) for who they are in the here and now.
here is my ghoulsona in their full glory (bit dramatic i know) the headcanons and stuff i have for them are here ⬇️
i was too tired to colour in copia but i will probably do that later on.
i tried with the colouring since im new to digital art so theres a lot of different technices in there wich can make it look a bit meh. i also definitly just realozed i forgot to colour in the eyebrows
not me cosplaying papa nihil to cope with my binder being in the washing mashine. there is something strangely comforting about doing this while eating pizza and watching tv with your cat
Just stepped inside the freezer because of aggressive intrusive thoughts.
☯️ ying/yang pages, chapters, stories
Truth is ...
Lol when we broke down on side of the road in the out back an had to camp an use your new nice candle had just gotten for Xmas.. next morning had reset full of bugs top to bottom bugs 😅😂😅😂😂😂🌠
want to fall asleep under the stars(no bugs)