Dc Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

Screaming, cackling, joyous!

There's just something enthralling about these two. Especially Tim serving his malicious compliance response to the "Where were you?". It's peak. He loves his family, he doesn't like when they pry into his business, they have all had many conversations about hiding injuries. Now Tim selectively over shares and it's a power trip.

And just. Yes. Tim's laughing hysterically over his boyfriend accidentally shooting him during their kinky sexy times. That is the most true and appropriate response. I kept imagining them on that "Sex Sent Me to the ER" show, retelling this story and breaking down into giggles again.

...Tim is trans masc by default in my head so when Bernard said he'd get him pregnant... I'm just saying, Tim's dealt with a lot of time travel bs. His birth control could fail. He and Steph could have a very funny role reversal, going to the same Lamaze class she took, deciding that the Dead Robins Club is so last year - the Oops Baby Club is now the fun place to be.

I beg you for more Tim and Bernard being chaotic freaks

*Falls down twenty flights of stairs before pushing myself up* This could mean several things, and I will do each one! >:D

Suggestive content below, minors DNI or whatever.

—

Tim, sick, lying in bed: I'm gonna die.

Bernard, sitting next to him, checking his temperature: No, you're not.

Tim: Bet.

Bernard: Please, don't prove me wrong on this one.

Tim: Uuuuuugh...

Bernard: At least you look sexy when you're sick.

Tim: Do I not always look sexy?

Bernard: Oh, you definitely do, always, look sexy. But, I mean like this, your cheeks and thighs all flushed, and all sweaty and helpless and weak in bed...

Tim: Don't get any ideas.

Bernard: To late, I already have several.

Tim: . . . Are you supposed to have sex, when sick?

Bernard: Is that gonna stop us.

Tim: Hmm.. Nope.

—

(inspired by a short story @donkoogrr made for me :3 )

Jason, picking his phone up at two in the morning: Who the fuck is this?

Bernard: Uh, me, so, like, y'know how I asked to borrow a gun for things you did not wanna know about?

Jason: . . . What did you do?

Tim, laughing hysterically in the background:

Bernard: I shot Tim.

Jason: you diD WHAT!?

Bernard: I DIDN'T KNOW THE SAFETY WAS OFF!

Jason: YOU SHOT MY LITTLE BROTHER!? ACCIDENTALLY!?

Tim: IT WAS HOT!

Bernard: He's a bit hysterical?

Jason: Oh my GOD, WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME!?

Bernard: I SHOULDN'T LEGALLY HAVE A GUN AND ALSO THIS WOULD BE SO HARD TO EXPLAIN TO A 911 OPERATOR!

Tim, laughing harder in the background:

Bernard: I have a compression bandage on him..?

Jason: . . . I am on my way, but I swear if he dies from this I'm gonna throw him in a Lazarus pit only to give him an honorable death.

Jason: Oh, also, I'm telling Dick face about this.

Bernard: . . . F#&$.

Tim: Think we can finish up before he gets here and I bleed out?

Bernard, throwing a pillow at him: TIM!

Tim: I've been shot way worse!

—

Ransom girl, flirting with Tim at a gala despite being told several times he has a boyfriend:

Bernard, walking right up to Tim: It's done.

Tim, playing along: It's done?

Bernard: Yup. She's dead.

Tim: Good, good.

Random girl, watching with great confusion and slight fear as Bernard and Tim share a sweet kiss and walk away together:

*The rumors that the Wayne's are some sort of crime family don't get better after this...*

—

Bruce, after calling for an emergency meeting after a massive rogue breakout: I know this is last minute, but— where's Red Robin?

Tim, riding in on his bike:

Jason: Where the f#&$ were you?

Tim, looking around: Are there children present?

Dick: ??? No, Dami is still changing—

Tim: Good, I want you all to know I'm only half coherent, my brain is still fuzzy, and I'm still recovering from being choked out, carved up, humiliated, and defiled in the best ways possible, and I swear one of you better die to make up for what I'm missing out on tonight.

Dick:

Jason:

Bruce:

Tim: None of you wanna see what I look like under this costume right now.

Damian, walking in: Have I missed something? Oh, Timothy, you are here, finally. What took so long?

Tim: Sorry, was hanging out with Bear, y'know how clingy he is.

Damian: Tt, don't forget about your promise to take me to the zoo this weekend.

Tim: Wouldn't dare.

Dick: My baby brother...

—

Stephanie: . . . So, you and Tim are into some freaky stuff?

Bernard: We did not use olive oil, wooden spoon, or the kitchen for their intended purposes last night.

Stephanie: To scared to ask, but also me and Cass have been thinking of experimenting. Any tips?

Bernard: Several.

—

Bernard: You're mad at Bruce again?

Tim: Yeah, but it isn't that big a d—

Bernard, pulling his phone out: Say less.

Bernard, posting anonymously that he'd be getting Red Robin pregnant, one way or another:

Tim: Now what's that gonna do?

Bernard: Give Bruce a heart attack.

Tim: . . . What?

*Cue that night, Bruce begging Babs to tell him what rogue and or magic user is threatening to get his son pregnant and w h y ? ! *

Babs: Harley Quinn says she'd help plan the baby shower, Poison Ivy asked if they're doing a a gender reveal because she has ideas that were safe for the environment, Cat woman commented that she wanted to be the godmother and is currently fighting Spoiler through text for rights..? Nightwing has stated he's castrating anon, and Red Hood told them to watch out for Batman, he's always looking for new Robin's.

Bruce: I am so confused...

—

Tim, gesturing wildly to an entire wall full of case files and "evidence" while being sleep deprived: I'm connecting the pieces.

Bernard: Love dove, the pieces are not connecting.

Tim: They're connecting...

Bernard: What are you trying to solve exactly?

Tim, blinking slowly: I forgot after my eighteenth cup of coffee, but I'm close!

Bernard: Uh huh... Ready for bed?

Tim, whispering as he sticks a sticky note with a poor drawing of a chicken to the wall: Death before dishonor...

—

Tim: . . . Hey, bear?

Bernard, half awake: Mm?

Tim: I want grilled steak.

Bernard: . . . It's three in the morning, Timboo.

Tim: I know...

Bernard:

Tim:

Bernard, groaning as he gets up:

Tim: I love you.

Bernard: I love you more and this is proof.

—

Bernard: Uh... Tim?

Tim, setting down the twelfth cake: You said to pick up a cake.

Bernard: Yes. A cake. You bought twenty cakes!

Tim: I didn't know what flavor you wanted tonight!

Bernard: So you buy all of them?!

Tim: Except carrot cake! Because you don't like carrot cake.

Bernard: We have... So much cake.

Tim: I also bought brownies—

Bernard: Timothy!?

Tim: They're red velvet..?

—

Bernard: I am staring respectfully.

Tim, changing into his Red Robin uniform: You are not.

Bernard, looking him up and down slowly: So respectfully.

—

High school Bernard: I wear sunglasses so nobody knows where I'm looking.

Darla: . . . Bernard—

Tim, not paying attention as Bernard stares at his biceps:

Bernard: Shh...

Darla: This is not heterosexual behavior.

Bernard: No clue what you're talking about. Hey, Tim?

Tim: Yes, Stephanie is a real person.

Bernard: No, no, not about that.

Tim: No, I don't wanna hear the entire lore of Undertale again. And no, I don't care about your d#&$ size, no, you can't know mine either.

Bernard: . . . I'm gonna kick your a#$.

Tim: I welcome you to try, b#&$%.

Bernard, leaning in: I would have you pinned in seconds.

Tim, dropping his phone onto his desk now: Only if I let you.

Bernard: Would you?

Tim: Would I?

Darla: JUST F#&$ ALREADY!

—

Jason: So, what're you gonna be when you're older, hm?

Damian, without missing a single beat: Taller.

Dick, desparately trying not to fall over laughing: pfft-

Tim, whispering to Steph: Damn.

Duke: Do you want some aloe for that burn, Jason?

YN: DICK!

Dick Grayson: What do you want?!

YN: I JUST TOLD YOU!

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: og course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *choke on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Buce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

Jason: People who sleep with their phone on silent or DND really don't give a damn about anybody.

Damian: If you decide to have a problem after midnight, that's between you and God.

Tim, very tired: …How do you set your phone to Dungeons and Dragons?

Random thing

Idk. Thought it was funny

leonard snart + a cowboy outfit

Damian: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Dick: Damian, no.

Jason: Mistlefoe.

Dick: Please stop encouraging him.

Dc imagine #7

Killer Croc: *sun bathing in Park*

Child Reader: *sees Killer Croc* A dino!!!! *running to him*

Killer Croc: *Sees Child Reader running in a dino onesie and start to panic*

Child Reader: Mr. Dino!! Hi!!!!

Killer Croc: *Sits up* Whose child is this?

Killer Croc: *looks around to find no one*

Child Reader: *looks at him, wanting permission to touch him*

Killer Croc: *sighs in defeat* I guess I will stay here with until your parents come looking for you.

Child Reader: Yeah!!!! *hugs him*

Killer Croc: *internal panic*

Killer Croc: ...

Killer Croc: *slowly hugs back*

Bruce: Today I realised I'm old

Clark: What happened?

Bruce: I fell in the kitchen and instead of laughing, all my kids came running to see if I was ok

Clark:

Bruce: I saw fear in their eyes

Plot twist option A

There is a secret B day party they prepared for him in the kitchen and they picked Dick to lure B in,, And look, Dick saw an opportunity and took it,, He just loves to be the cause for Bruce's receding hairline okay?

Plot twist option B

There is a disaster going down in the library so big, that all the things listed would be minor inconvenience compared to it. It's like an absolute full scale Catastrophy and Dick needs at least 10 more minutes to get a hold on the situation and tone it down to a presentable state.

Bruce: Alright, I left the room for six minutes- can someone fill me in?

Dick: Well, so... Tim almost died like three times, we can't find Cass, Jason caused a fire... Also, I'm supposed to be distracting you from going into the kitchen because of reasons I can't say.

Said couple are definitely Tim’s bio parents.

*Jason, Dick, Tim and Damian peeking out the window*

Bruce: What are you doing?

Dick: TVs broke, so we’re watching a couple break up across the street.

Bruce:

Bruce: I’ll get some popcorn.

Y/n, kidnapped by Mr. Freeze and tied up to a chair at the edge of a deep ice-filled pool: what do you want!?

Mr. Freeze, jokingly: lets make this easy. You jump into that pool or I leak your wattpad history-

Y/n, without missing a beat, leans back and falls into the pool

Mr. Freeze: OH SHI-

Incorrect quotes #5

Riddler, talking to some random girl: And here's my number. Ha-ha!

Scarecrow: Do you just... walk around with your phone number pre-written on pieces of paper???

Riddler, smirking: Yep.

Scarecrow, rolling his eyes: Of course you do-

I'm so sorry, I just-

(Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QagRwKrumQ)

Edward: The rule is no Ex's talk though, it just triggers-

Jervis, with anguish: AAAALLLIIIICCCE!

Edward: Just promise the evening won't end with me in the middle stroking both your heads while you cry about Sherry and Alice.

Jonathan, deadpan: I make no promises.

Incorrect quotes:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtEZYEnHpN8)

Joker: I don't fucking like you.

Jonathan: What?

Joker: I said I don't fucking like you.

Jonathan: You don't like me???

Joker: No.

*Jonathan tries to keep himself from laughing. It doesn't work. Joker just gives him a death glare.*

Jonathan, laughing: I'm sorry-!

Joker: ...

Jonathan: What? *Puts on a sad face* *It doesn't last.* *He's laughing again.*

Jonathan, still laughing: Bitch, I don't give a fuck-!

Incorrect quotes: 'You two are losers'

Edward: -We should probably stop staring before this gets creepy.

Jonathan: Too late.

*Jervis and Edward look over and see Jonathan on the other end of the table*

Jonathan: You two are losers.

Jervis: Well Then, why do you sit with us?

Jonathan: Because I don't have any friends.

*Jason is captured by the JL, now sitting in the interagetion room*

Jason: -ha! good luck with that.

Hal: now listen here you little-

Dick: *storms into the intergetion room*

Dick: HOOD!

Clark: Nightwing-

Jason: oh shit- heeeeeey dickhead

Flash: you know him-?

Dick: Jay, Jaybird, Hood, little wing-

Jason: *leans away*

Dick: we all love you-

Hal: the fuck-?

Dick: but WHY THE FUCK would you skip your weakly check-in and get arrested imideatly after that?!??!

Jason: listen-

Dick: no, you listen. I had a hell of these past few hours. Dealing with a bunch of bad guys in one thing- but dealing with an army of children who are worried about you and would kill for you? Why the fuck did you think it was a good idea??????

Jason: oh, OH SHIT-

Dick: yeah, Lizzie almost had my head when she called becase you didn't check in.

Flash: am I the only one who doesn't know what's going on...?

Hal: nope.

Jason: OH FUCK *pulls his hands ot of the cuffs*

Hal: now wait a minute-

Jason: *taps his helmet* fuck, I can't-

Dick: *already has a hologram video call pulled up*

Jason: Carrot top!

A small child: Hood!

Jason, in a soft voice: I'm so sorry I didn't call-

Lizzie: helmet.

Jason: ya know I can't

Lezzie, pounting: helmet.

Jason: *hungs his head low and sighs* fine

Jason: *pulls off his helmet with a soft click and hiss*

Jason, just in his domino now: *looks up again* happy?

the JL: *absolutely bamboozled because the kid did what they couldn't do in 5 hours in 5 seconds. Also, how young is Red Hood?????*

Lizzie: *nods*

Jason, voice even softer: I'll be back soon, please tell the others kids I'm okay, alright?

Lizzie: *nods again*

Jason: bye

Lizzie: *waves*

Dick: *ends the call, grinning like an idiot*

Jason: *puts his helmet back on* shut up, Dickhead

Dick: you're soft *smirks*

Jason: oh you-

Hal: what the FUCK was THAT?!

Dick: *snickers*

Dinah, a bit worried: who was that kid?

Jason: that was-

Dick: one of the many kids hes taken under his wing

Barry: what?

Dick: oh, you didn't know? *smirks even wider*

Jason: don't you dare-

Dick: Jay here, became the patreon and protector of the homeless youht in Gotham, especially the Crime Alley

Clark: *smiles like a proud parent 'cus he already knew*

Jason: my reputation! *groans, hides his head in his hands and makes a sound like a dying bird*

Y/n: Fuck you

Jason: No, fuck you. You're the bottom in this relationship.

Y/n :

Y/n, confused: But we haven't even slept together?