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Random vent:
I legitimately do not know what is going to happen to me in the future. All I want is to be a firefighter, but two days into emt school and I'm already having a flare up. We went to visit the fire station today, and I nearly passed out just from standing still. I was always such an athletic child, and everyone expected that I would kick ass in this field, yet here I am, struggling to stand. I already knew that I would have a very short, painful career, but now I don't know if I can do it at all.
actually i think we need to talk about how lonely and isolating it is to be young and chronically ill. of course being older and unwell is no picnic either, but there’s something about watching people around your own age live their lives as normal that stings. everyone i know my age is working, studying, exercising, travelling, going out for walks, for drinks, to dance or to see a film or buy groceries, making new friends and learning new things and trying new hobbies, just existing in public in a way that i am not able to do. i am stuck, here, feeling like i can’t grow up while everyone else around me gets to have these normal experiences. of course i know i am not the only disabled twentysomething on the planet, but the knowledge that most people my age are reaching milestones that are just beyond my reach makes me feel isolated, helpless, and ultimately, alone.