Eren X Male Reader - Blog Posts

e m p t y / 10

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter ten — first day

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Standing with everyone else, looking straight without a hint of emotion. This was their first day as a soldier.

[Name] had matured— his eyes were gentle, but with the horror seen by them made them harder. His cheeks blushed a little by the sun— it was a hot day after all. And with the uniform on... ugh... He felt already soaked inside the jacket.

He could hear the yells from the instructor, shouting at some kid far away from his line. Even if he was far away, it seemed he was just besides him. [Name] bet the man could be heard to Wall Sina.

Deep in his thoughts, he didn't catch a certain pair of eyes looking at him curiously. But thanks to his instincts, he feel it, quickly making him look for them. He traveled his unusual eyes trough the line in front of him who were facing him, and finally, [Name] spotted a very tall guy with hazel eyes looking at him. But just when he meet his eyes, he blushed and averted his dull gaze.

"He is very tall..." [Name] thought, admiring his height. He thought maybe he was the tallest soldier around here. The teenager could tell he knew [Name] was watching him, because he began to sweat. Is the sun or is it me?

Hearing the instructor coming near, [Name] quickly looked straight. The man just walked by, until he saw [Name]'s form and began to shout at him immediately without mercy.

"You! Who the hell are you and from where?!"

Saluting, he shouted, "[Name] Knight, sir! From Shinganshina, sir!"

The tall man blinks when he takes a good look at the unusual eyes— and he remembers who he is instantly. He was the kid from the outside... He remembers that last name too well. A Knight, uh?

"And why the hell are you here, you maggot?!"

Without thinking much of it, a natural response left his lips, like an automatic reply or as if someone replied for him, "To free us, sir!"

"We'll see what a good for nothing like you would do against a titan, maggot!" He yelled, leaving him to go for another cadet. [Name] sighed, relieved he was gone. He wasn't a fan of being yelled or having to raise his voice.

" e —— ???? xxxx free!"

A migraine began to take effect on him, making a frown shift his gentle features. Not now, just wait a little more— it's almost over. But the headache didn't listen to the poor boy, and just began to hurt with more force. He gritted your teeth, bearing the pain. The sun didn't help his situation at all, too.

Thanks to the pain, [Name]'s mind was occupied on calming himself, making him lost any attention to other's peoples names or where the intimidating man was, and certainly, he didn't feel a pair of green eyes looking at him with surprise. When the headaches happened he ignored everything around him, specially when the pain was high. He didn't even noticed his friend getting head-butted by the instructor.

Somehow, [Name] noticed 'presentation time' was over by seeing all of the cadets walking off. Just, how much time has passed? Wait— where did he have to go?

Placing a hand on his head to control his headache, —that somehow worked— he heard someone approaching, making him turn just to see his friend Jean. He was frowning at him— was he worried?

"[Name]... again with the headaches?" He asked, gently placing a hand on his head, relieving a little pain feeling his warm hand, "maybe there will—"

Before he could finish, a new male voice interrupted him, along with three people quickly approaching both of them, "[Name]!!"

[Name]'s eyes immediately widened, "that voice..." Turning behind him, he meet with the determinated eyes he have always admired. They are alive!

Forgetting about the pain, [Name] tried to say something. But before any of the two of them could react, the brunette with green eyes have tightly hugged [Name], making both of them fall on the ground. But the amnesiac teenager couldn't feel any pain when he was overjoyed and happy— his friends were safe.

"[Name], we thought you were..." A gently voice could be heard, knowing very well who belonged it to. [Name] looks at the blond with soft blue eyes, who looks he's going to cry. "We didn't see you anywhere!"

The black haired girl makes Eren to stand by his disappointment, and quickly helps [Name] stand along. "We look for you when we could, but we never found you..." She says, looking at him as if she didn't believe he was there.. Her eyes looks gentle and soft, and a small smile appear on her delicate lips.

"Where the hell were you!?" The brunette angrily asked, surprising everyone by his outburst, "you didn't look for us, did you!?" Eren spoke with a different tone— he was upset. Mikasa and Armin looked at him in worry: the brunette always got mad when he thought about [Name] back then.

"I—I left as fast as I could with mom and... we got with the refugees and..." [Name] spoke shyly, not expecting such angry behavior this soon, "we went to Trost... and I lived there..." The amnesiac boy didn't find the words to reply back— just as he found his friends he felt fragile, feeling emotions at once.

"Did you think about us when you left?" He frowned, looking at is side feeling hurt, "to think I was worried you were... dead, and after all you—!"

"Hey!" Jean, who was pretty silent with the reunion, shout, getting their attention, shoved [Name] behind him, "[Name] saved his mom's and his' life first! At what you are so angry about?!"

"Aah?! And who the hell are you?!" Eren clenched his fists, not liking one a bit how easy he touched [Name]. This coward is [Name]'s friend?!

"None of your business, dumbass! But I won't stand here and hear your nonsense against him!" Jean could get protective over [Name], even if it wasn't that necessary. But seeing how this idiot wanted to make all of what happened his fault, that wasn't going to happen. He could see [Name] was troubled— he just reunited who the friends he thought were dead, but being pointed at while he was happy made him utterly upset.

"Eren!" Armin tried to calm him down, "[Name] is alive and with us again, aren't you happy?" Mikasa frowned, looking at Eren with concern. She could notice her brother had mixed feelings about finding [Name]— the ravenette knew his anger would disappear eventually, but he had to control it to not say hurtful things that could upset [Name]. But as Armin and she knew, he didn't think before speaking. Mikasa could notice [Name]'s frown from behind his friend— such a sad look that didn't belong.

Eren gritted his teeth, grunting. He knew he was being an idiot to make [Name] feel like this— but just as he saw him again... it made a mess with his feelings that he couldn't control well. At times like these it was better to walk off before hurting more. He gave one last pained look at [Name], "I— See you around, [Name]." He left, clearly mad. Armin gave one last tight hug to [Name] with Mikasa.

"Don't mind him, [Name]. He's happy to see you, you know? He's just... very sentimental as you know," Armin tried to laugh it off awkwardly.

"I guess... It's understandable," [Name] still had his sad look— he was really happy to see his friends again, but the feeling of guilt overcome his joy. Was it wrong to put his family first?

"I'm happy to see you again, [Name]." Mikasa gently spoke, smiling at him, "these past years had been difficult, but I'm glad you are alright with Miss Beatrice. We... we lost mom."

"And grandpa too..."

[Name] gulped. Carla, the pretty woman that always opened her doors for him, was gone too. Armin's grandpa was gone too. He couldn't understand how they were feeling after loosing their family like that. "W-What about Dr. Jäger...?"

She sighs, "we don't know," she looks at [Name] with a cryptic expression, "but seeing you here makes me glad you are safe."

"I'm glad I could see you again too," he attempted to smile, trying to make himself better. He hugged Mikasa and Armin, "I really missed you."

Armin laughed happily and Mikasa smiled warmly. Jean stood there awkwardly, frowning by what just happened before. The trio eventually finished the hug, pulling away. Both friends waved at [Name], saying they were going to unpack their things and find Eren. [Name] waved at them with a smile, feeling slightly better.

"You didn't tell me your friend was an idiot," Jean spoke, still angry.

"I didn't think he would be like that... but I guess he's still sentimental." [Name] sighs, rubbing his forehead, "at least my headache is gone."

Jean sighs heavily, already in a bad mood in the first day. Patting [Name]’s head, he spoke, “already the first day and I already hate someone.”

”Eren is not that bad. He’s just... reckless.” They began to walk to the dormitory.

“In other words, a dumbass.” [Name] chuckles, agreeing a little, "also, that girl is pretty..."

As they get into the dormitory, many of the people who were already there began to pick their beds. [Name] didn’t exactly care with who he had to share his bed with, but Jean certainly did. His friend hurriedly tried to find free shared beds, but he couldn't find any. Jean cursed mentally, grunting as he realized he wouldn't share a bed with [Name]. Could he be more unlucky today?

While Jean got angry in silence, [Name] already choose a free bed and began to unpack his stuff. Yawning, the boy couldn't wait to sleep already.

"Hey! Looks like we are sharing!" A freckled boy spoke to him, making him turn. He had dark hair and by just looking at his eyes there was no malice— only kindness. [Name] nodded, not knowing what else to say. Fortunately, the freckled male didn't back off, "I'm Marco Bodt, nice to meet you!"

"[Name] Knight. Nice to meet you, Marco."

Just as both unpacked their things Marco did most of the chatter. [Name] didn't mind him— his voice was soft and gentle. He liked hearing him, and the freckled didn't mind [Name]'s silence, so that was nice. It seemed he had notices [Name]'s unusual eyes too, but didn't say anything about them.

Jean's absence didn't last long. The irritated teenager found [Name], and as he saw his friend already being so comfortably with someone made him narrow his eyes in suspicion. He approached him, "[Name], you found a bed?"

Both of them turned. [Name] nodded, sitting on the bed as he stretched. "He's Marco."

"A-Ah! Hello!" Marco smiled, and Jean only stared at him with narrowed eyes. It was clear miles away this boy didn't mean harm— but why would Jean even care about that?

"Hi," Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck trying to calm himself, "I'm Jean."

"Uhm— what you said back there..." Marco spoke, not sure if to proceed but did nevertheless, "you were really honest."

"Hmn?" [Name]'s brow raised, "what happened?"

"You didn't see?" [Name] shook his head, noticing Jean's blush, "he got... well, he got head-butted by the instructor."

"He did?" [Name] couldn't hold his chuckle. Just imagining his friend being attacked by Shadis was funny, shame his migraine didn't let him see such show. "What did you say to get that?"

"It's not important anymore!" Jean yelled, clearly embarrassed, "anyways! We should change already— dinner will be in some hours so..."

"Oh, right! It's nice we don't have to do anything on our first day..."

[Name], already irritated by the tightness of his uniform, stood up from the bed and began to undress himself without any care.

Both boys noticed his actions, blush appearing on their faces immediately.

"H-Hey! [Name], what are you doing?!" Jean spoke trying to stop him, but only receiving a slap on his wrists.

"Undressing." He answered, unbuttoning his shirt.

Jean realized this was going to be until the end of their training— as the trainee corps had limited expenses, it was clear there was no "dressing room" or private showers. Every man and woman had to share and see each other without clothes, so their shyness had to go away forcefully.

Just the thought of seeing [Name] in the shower made him blush. Covering his mouth, Jean thought wasn't that bad after all...

Marco averted seeing [Name] taking his pants off, crimson appearing on his face. He tried to shake off the awkwardness of the situation, "w-well! W-Where are you two f-from?!"

Jean and Marco tried their best to hold a conversation without seeing [Name] changing without any care in the world. When he finished, the amnesiac teenager laid on the bed and told them to wake him up when it was time for dinner. Marco was surprised seeing him asleep in about five minutes, but Jean had explained [Name]'s favorite hobby was sleeping every time he could, so it was normal he fell asleep quickly. The freckled boy was rather impressed.

  From not too far away a brunette and a blonde saw everything with a blush on their faces.

"Idiot...!"

"W-Well! He really is the same, ah?"

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"[Name], wake up. It's time."

The amnesiac boy grunted, frowning as he opened his eyes lazily, spotting Jean. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stretched and yawned. Jean knew when [Name] woke up, it would be five or even ten minutes of him being semi-awake, so he had to take care of him in a sense of procuring to watch over his steps, where he was going or stop him before he could hurt himself. It was pretty ridiculous how sleepy his friend could be, but it didn't make him less adorable.

"Is he really awake?" Marco asked, looking at how somnolent [Name] looked. Was he really that tired before?

"Nope, but he'll manage."

[Name] stood from the bed, staggering a little. He took Jean's hand, but the other, nervous and embarrassed of the comment he would get from the others guys slapped his hand away. The amnesiac boy stared at him in confusion for the sudden rejection— strange. Jean, blushing, already began to walk to the dining hall to hide his blushed face.

Why did I do that?! Clenching his fist, Jean was clearly feeling embarrassed— he knew since before getting here this would be a problem. It seemed his pride was more important. "L-Let's go already!" [Name] tilted his head, yawning. He followed Jean, with Marco behind.

The freckled boy didn't understand what just happened at first, and stayed in silence. He took care of where [Name] was stepping on— the teenager almost went to sleep again while walking and almost hit himself with a wall. Can he sleepwalk...? Marco hoped he didn't.

When they got to the dinning hall it was pretty full, but they were just in time. Marco, seeing that [Name] looked still sleepy, told him to wait on a table while Jean and him returned with food. He happily agreed, instantly sitting on the nearest table, placed his arms on it and rested his head on them. Was he looking for the right time to sleep again?

"Is it normal that he sleeps so much?" Marco asked, taking two pieces of bread, two plates of soup and water.

"Don't know normal, but usually. I think the most he has slept was three days."

"W-What?!"

"Yep. Sometimes is impossible to wake him up— normally his mom would take care of this, but as he is here..." He sighs, "that won't be any good."

"Three days..." Was that even possible? Wasn't Jean exaggerating? "How normally has that happened?"

"I didn't really take track of it. But I noticed when he got bad headaches, and I mean bad, he fell asleep for some days."

"Headaches...?"

The time they were in line Jean explained [Name] state until they finished and returned to their table. The teenager still remained asleep, until Jean shook his shoulder to wake him up.

"Eat before it gets cold— it already is, somehow." He sit in front of [Name], and Marco besides him.

[Name] rested his chin on the palm of his hand, lazily taking bites to the bread. His eyes spotted his childhood friend Eren being surrounded by other people. He waved to Mikasa and Armin, receiving a wave and a serene smile from the ravenette and a grin from the blonde. It seemed Eren had already stated he was from Shiganshina, because [Name] could hear plenty of questions about how the titans looked like.

Jean was listening, and Marco, who grew more curious about it went to Eren's table to listen with the others.

It seemed a question hit a nerve. [Name] could only see Eren covering his mouth as if he wanted to vomit— after all, what happened to him was traumatic. He lost his mother, and who knows where his father was.

Jean's eyes shifted from Eren to [Name] respectively, noticing the worried expression his friend carried.

Just hearing the brunette speaking about joining the survey corps like [Name] made him more irritated than he already was. Nevertheless, he didn't let it show and preferred having some fun. "Wait a moment, are you crazy? Did you just say you want to join the Survey Corps?"

The brunette frowned at him, even more when he saw [Name] in the same table with him, "what about it? You are the one who wants to join the Military Police to take it easy, aren't you?"

[Name] just watched in silence, wondering what exactly Jean wanted to do.

Jean smirked, "What can I say? I'm honest. I prefer being that than try to act tough when in reality you are scared shitless." The comment seemed to annoy Eren, seeing him stand up with a glare directed at Jean. The taller teenager didn't seem bothered in the slightest— he stood up too and both teenagers approached each other. But whatever they wanted to do was interrupted by the sound of the bell, signalizing dinner time was over.

The taller male just smiled unbothered, "well, my bad. It wasn't trying to judge the way you think," he held his hand in a weak and fake attempt to release the tension, "let's let it go."

"Yeah... I guess I overreacted," It was clear to [Name] that Eren didn't accept the fake apology, seeing him just slapping Jean's hand. He seemed to leave, but before he did he looked at [Name] as if he wanted to say something, but in the end he didn't. Clenching his jaw, he averted [Name]'s prying gaze and left with a frown.

Would he be angry with me forever? [Name] stared at the table, upset. Mikasa and Armin weren't angry with him—and even if they told him Eren's anger wouldn't last that long he didn't fully believe them. Maybe he should speak to him... but how?

It seemed the time he had with Jean these two years had made him more sensitive about friendship, in some way. After all, he did felt some guilt about what happened. But what he could have done? He was just a kid.

"You okay?" Marco's gentle voice is heard, looking at his friend in worry.

"Yeah. I'm just... sleepy," he rubbed his eyes, "where's Jean?"

"Outside... I think someone's with him." He looked at the door, seeing Jean talking to a short guy.

[Name] didn't feel too lively now, and the only thing he thought about was laying in bed. He guessed he had to get up early in the morning tomorrow. Standing up, he took the last bite on his bread, not feeling hungry anymore. "I want to sleep already... I'm heading back."

"A-Ah, I'm going with you!"

Just as he wanted to leave, he bumped onto someone else, instantly hearing a shaky apology. [Name] blinked, lifting his gaze to meet someone incredibly taller than him.

It looked like the taller guy recognized him from somewhere, seeing his widening eyes.

[Name] knew those eyes.

"Ah— you are the one with pretty eyes from back then. And the one from when Shadis was yelling at us..." He spoke with his dull voice, not noticing some questioning gazes he got for the compliment. The brunette blushed, stuttering. "You are taller."

"You know him?" Marco asked, looking at both of them with prying eyes.

"Yes. We met in the refugee." He looks at him, "I never got your name."

"Uhm, B-Bertholt!" He seemed shy.

"Nice to meet you." He smiled, tilting his head.

"Bertholt! We—" A more deep voice came trough, but stopped when he saw company. It was a blonde and buffed guy— [Name] remembered him too. Seemed he did too, because his expression was the same as the brunette's, "Y-You are from back then!"

"There was someone else with you, wasn't it? Is she here too?"

"A-Ah, well, yes. She's around." The blonde smiles, "nice to see you again. I'm Reiner, by the way."

They both were going to the dormitory too, so Marco and [Name] stick with them. When they saw Jean outside they invited him to head back with them, but he had told them he was going to stay a little longer outside.

The four teenagers began to head back, and as expected, Reiner and Marco did the most of the talking, while Bertolt and [Name] quietly stayed in the back. The amnesiac boy looked carefully at the brunette, as if he was inspecting him. That only made Bertolt nervous.

He took Bertolt's hand, surprising the brunette. [Name] let out some hums and ah's, "you are huge. How did you get so tall...?" He compared his hand with the other's, looking at the difference while the brunette's face went red by the touch.

"U-Uhm, thanks...?" He said unsure— was that a compliment...?

"Tell me your secrets." Sparks appeared in [Name]'s eyes as he tightly hold Bertolt's hand. The brunette began to sweat, feeling shy and awkward by the touch.

"Uhm... Reiner..."

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Just as they got to their destination, [Name] wasted no time in throwing himself on the bed. Laying on his stomach, the pillow where he pressed his face on made his voice get muffled, "good night" he tried to say, ignoring any sort of conversation somebody wanted to have with him.

The three teenagers just saw him. He really was either lazy or just uninterested about everything.

"He sure likes to sleep a lot..." The freckled boy said, impressed. He knew it would be a pain to wake him up in the morning tomorrow.

The blonde laughed, "let's see who wakes up first— [Name] or Bertolt? Looks like you two have something in common." The comment received a grunt from his friend.

The three spoke a little bit before going to sleep, even when Jean got back. He wasn't surprised seeing his friend already asleep, and remembering he wasn't sharing bed with him made him grumpy before going to bed. Unluckily, his past thoughts about how handling [Name]'s touchy behavior made him pretty awake all night. Was it really a problem? Did he really pay attention of what others think about their relationship? Well, if they thought they were in one it was even better, wouldn't be? Even more if that jackass Jaeger knew about it. Just remembering the looks he gave them made him snicker. Unfortunately, that wouldn't matter if [Name] himself didn't feel anything romantically for him.

Fucking hell. Can this be more complicated?!

        L̸͔͇̰̬̆͜ơ̵̝̰̓̋̎̓̋̾̇͘o̸͔͖̯̟͍̓͛̍̔̿͘͝͝͠k̷̨͎͖͎͍̞͗̊͑͆̃̐͗̏͛́s̸͙͆̿͒̾͐͝ ̵͍̄͋̈́̒͝ͅl̸̨̉͗̒̿̀̌̃̈́̍̐͘̚̚͝i̴͖̮̼͓̤̼̼̬͚̥̥͉͈̬͛̒͗̚͠k̵̡̢̮̺̠̊͂͠ͅͅe̵̡̖̲̼̺̝̘͔̖̖̞͙̽̉͒̍̂̓̈́̄̽̍͆͠͝͠ ̷̡̭̟̼̭̙̠̙̮̹̞̈͗̾̈́͝͠ẅ̵̛̛̲̲̬͎̘̭̜̲̬͔̞́̎̐̒̋͌̈́̀͛̇͑̄ͅͅę̴̛̝̯͇̼̹͛̚ ̸̛̗̏̽̆̀̋̀̎̽̐̐̚̕͘͠a̴̡͔͔̱͖̤̦̣̺̫̠͑̈́̀ͅŗ̸̲̝̣̹̻̺͖̲̠̿̾̈̂̓ͅe̵̲͙̭̺̥̝͔̹̣̮̤̱͇̽̂̇̔̑̂͑͑̇̏͛͝͝ ̸̲̫̎͂̄̏̀͐̋͐̽͑̕͘͝r̷͇̞̣͍̱̳̗̳̱̞̗̉́̎̋̈̓̔͊̍̒͑e̸͖̥̠̭̰̩͂̓̋̉̌̄̋̂̑̓̈́̽͘u̵̧̧͎̹̱̜̥̫͓͕̞̓́̀̐̀̀̀͑͘̚n̶̝̗̟͠i̴̛͓̯̘̜̻͉̔͛t̴̨̧̗̬̯͖̺̀̃͂̒̃͂̃̍́̚͠͠ê̸̦͍̜̮͐d̷̨̨̓ͅ.̸͚̯̼̎́̈́̃̍͊̃̋͘ͅ

e m p t y / 9

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter nine  — new mornings

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They lived two years in Trost, but it took them one year to live on their own. Even with Lydia's protests —and Jean protested in secret, too—, Beatrice didn't want to be the burden she felt she was, and with her savings of the bread and pastries she did in the local bakery, it was enough for them to move to a house near the gates. Beatrice and [Name] couldn't stop thanking Lydia in opening the door of her home, taking them in as if they were family. [Name]'s mom had told him Lydia was a great friend in her past, before she moved to Shinganshina.

Even if the old memories of his past hometown tormented him in some way, along with his friends, he somehow enjoyed living in Trost. It was a nice place— Lydia was just as nice as Beatrice and Jean was a good friend. Before he knew it, their friendship went deeper and deeper, becoming really close. Jean always worried about [Name]'s headaches, every time trying to help in anything he could along with Lydia. The woman bought plenty of herbs with her own money to try and calm his migraines, and Beatrice nor [Name] could stop thanking her for it.

It become frequent how Jean couldn't stop himself and caress [Name]'s hair every headache— his eyes became softer when he frowned. It had become a reflex, somehow. [Name] didn’t mind— in fact, the teenager didn’t care at all about getting touchy. He liked taking Jean’s hand and play with it when they were bored sitting under a tree, or just lay his head on Jean’s legs to sleep.

At first it felt weird, but as Jean could feel butterflies in his stomach, he suspected what was happening. He got nervous when [Name] so normally and carelessly touched him like nothing, as if it was something anyone would do. Jean now believed Beatrice when she said [Name] was a social inept— all of what he was doing felt like they were lovers, and he didn’t even know it. Every time he did it, Jean blushed and averted looking at the boy, sometimes even evading touching him.

Jean knew very well what his feelings were but refused to believe it, it was obvious. Even his' and [Name]'s mom did. It was difficult to bear with it, even more when [Name] was oblivious about it. Why wasn't him more upfront? These couple years have made him more brutally honest than before, so why he couldn't confess to him? Was it fear? Maybe for rejection. Jean knew [Name] didn't know or wasn't interested in these topics— he had tried to question the boy before, but nothing came out of it. [Name] was uninterested, or maybe he have never felt something like that before, so he couldn't speak about it as if he knew.

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“So [Name]...”

”Hmn?”

”Have you ever liked someone?”

”Liked...?” He looks to the sky, “well, yeah.”

”Really? Who?” He tried his best to sound uninterested about the topic.

”You,” Jean’s face blushed at that, but before he could get his hopes up [Name] followed with, “my friends from my hometown too... specially Armin.” And with that Jean went to the beginning, frowning with a twitch on his eye.

”not that type of liking! I mean If you have liked someone as in... love." He blushed, embarrassed by such thing to say.

“Like the books our moms read?” And he did sometimes too. Beatrice loved reading, specially romance novels. Armin and Beatrice had taught him reading books would be a good thing for learning about emotions, in some way. It could have sounded stupid— how someone didn't know what they feel? But [Name] didn't. He felt like a vessel still— these past experiences have helped a lot to grow his sentimental side, but there was more to know.

”Weird example, but yeah, like these cheesy stories.”

”hmn...” he had never thought about it— well, he liked Mr. Erwin a lot, but not as in love. “Don’t think so.” Maybe Beatrice? She says 'I love you' a lot to him, but he doesn't know if it's that particular form of love Jean is saying. "What about you?"

"W-Well— of course," he tried to sound 'cool' if that helped, "I've going out with some girls and—"

"That's not true. You are always with me." [Name] looks at him with a raised brow, obviously not believing his lie. Jean's facade faltered, but the teenager tried to change the attention to another topic.

"A-Anyways!" He laughed nervously, "have you ever kissed somebody?! BECAUSE I HAVE!"

"Kissed..." He blinked, deep in thought. [Name] didn't remember kissing anybody, but the sudden feeling of doing it is there. He touches his lips, wondering. "I don't think so."

Jean gulped, trying to play it off, "would you... like to try it?" He knew very well what he was doing— [Name] was unaware of these things, but it wasn't as if he was taking advances out of him, right? It was just... something for him to learn.

The amnesiac teenager blinks, staring at Jean. According to these books, a kiss meant something special, a sign of love. [Name] didn't know what love certainly was, so maybe trying kissing Jean would make something different? "Okay."

"O-Okay?! I-I mean—! A-Alright," Jean gulped, blushing. His heartbeat is erratic— he didn't actually believe [Name] agreed of something like this. Good thing they are in the forest near the walls— it would have been too embarrassing being looking at. Both of them kneeled in front of each other, [Name] looking at him with his head tilted. Jean averted his gaze, trying to calm himself.

He sighs, ready. Getting near [Name]'s face, his hands shake. The amnesiac teenagers gets near too, but Jean freezes. His eyes widen, not knowing what to do. Surprisingly, [Name] is the one who initiates the kiss— his hand supporting on the ground to get nearer Jean as he closes his eyes. It's clearly an inexperience kiss— but Jean's heart felt like it was going to explode. It's such a gentle and soft gesture, a curious action. Before he knows it, [Name] is pulling away with a humn. Jean is completely red, he is happy about what just happened, but he knows he can't get his hopes up with [Name], remembering how he usually is.

Nobody talks— [Name] tilts his head, touching his lips while Jean is still shocked by the kiss. What did [Name] feel? Did he like it? Did he realize something?

"S-So, what do you think?"

"I don't know."

"W-What?"

"It's... different, but I don't feel something else about it," Jean's heart crashes as he hears these words. He had a little bit of hope something would change, but it seems it didn't. "You?"

The taller teenager sighs, clenching his jaw. "Same." His excitement and happiness fade away as quickly as they appeared. Maybe this would be the first and last time he took advantage of [Name] like this— a kiss was something hurtful but wonderful at the same time. 'Love' surely hurt a lot.

__ __ __ __ __

Love was something unknown for him, and for now, he didn't look interested by it. Jean hoped sometime he would have taken a more liking to him after that kiss, but Jean knew that was unlikely. So he hided his feelings, in hope of someday he could show them when the time was right. But obviously he took advances of [Name]'s touchy behavior— when he laid his head on Jean's lap, he played with [Name]'s hair. Or sometimes when the other rested his head on his shoulder, Jean would rest his head on the other's, smelling his hair.

This situation was annoying.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

Beatrice lived in fear of hearing those words— living the day he would leave to chase his dream. She didn't want to appear sad in front of her boy, so his anguish and sadness were showed with Lydia. The woman tried to comfort Beatrice as best as she could— but both of them knew their boys would leave them soon.

But it was time, and Beatrice knew from the start it was going to come sooner nor later. She always hoped he could change his mind, but his mind was set the first time he heard about the military. But she couldn't stop him, could she? She couldn't stop her husband nor son, and look what happened.

"Mom..." He spoke, stopping eating. Hearing such tone made Beatrice's heart hurt— that was it, "I'm going to enlist to the military."

She didn't say a word for some minutes, worrying [Name] by it. Beatrice had never got silenced over anything, but he knew he touched a sensible spot. She relieved some memories about her husband and a son he didn't know anything about— they left, enlisted to the survey corps and as many expected, they died in combat. It was painful and difficult to accept such thing again, but Beatrice can't forever hold a bird who wants to be free.

"Is that what you really want?" She hold her tears and her voice from breaking, but [Name] saw trough the facade easily. It was the second time felt something like heartbreak, seeing her like this. He stood up from his seat and keeled besides her, hugging her waist and resting his head on her legs. She caressed his hair, not holding the tears anymore. [Name] shut his eyes, some tears slipping and wetting Beatrice's dress.

"Yes."

"I see."

They stayed like that for a long time.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

It was pretty difficult accepting he was going to leave. Surprisingly, Jean was going to enlist too, but he had told his mother he was going to join the Military Police, and not the Survey Corps like [Name].

When Jean knew where [Name] was going to join in the end, he almost had a heart attack. He couldn't believe something so idiotic, reckless. Was he insane? But, most importantly, didn't he care they were going to... separate if that happened? They wouldn't see each other again. Jean was mad, and even when he voiced his worries to his friend he didn't listen.

"But what are you thinking?! It's the survey corps!" He tried to reason.

"Yeah, I know it's the survey corps. That's why I will join them." He stated, not bothered by Jean's yelling. The taller boy only got railed up by such behavior— didn't he care?

"But you could die, do you know that?" He desperately tries to talk a sense to him, "many of them don't come back!"

"I know, Jean. But... that's what I have to do." [Name] knew he had to join them— after all, they found him outside these walls. His answer had to be out there, somewhere.

"What you have to do?" He snorted, "aren't you thinking about Beatrice?" About me?

"Jean, I will join the survey corps. It was decided since the beginning."

"You don't care about anyone, do you?!" Jean couldn't stop his anger— [Name] was cruel when he wanted, even if he didn't mind to. He sighs, passing his hand trough his hair exasperatedly, "whatever." He left without turning back, he was angry and felt betrayed. Jean knew if he stayed any longer he would say things he didn't mean and turn the situation worse,

[Name] frowned, clearly sad about how things turned out. His hand tried to reach Jean, who disappeared without even sparing a last glance at him. He felt something heavy on his chest, and the same static noise overcome his ears. He did something wrong— but this is what he wants, and he can't turn back from his decision. But why is he feeling so sad? Just as he lost Eren, Mikasa and Armin? Was it so important to Jean where he wanted to go? It was his life— not his'. Was he being cruel? Just thinking about begin mistaken caused another headache to appear.

  P̵̣̫̱̮̼̲͔̰͈͙̈́̈̎̏̈́͠ī̷̞̥͍̙̓̈́̊͘t̷̛͕̝̓͐̓̋̄͑̎͋̉̊̈́̚̚ĩ̶͚̲͙̞̮̺͓̟͖͙̯̊̽͜͝f̴̡̺̬̟̭͙͕̙͚̯̟̹̱̹̩͐̈́̄̈͂̈́̈́͊̎̾̊̓̒͘ȗ̸̝̜͔̍̎̚ͅl̸̛̥͈̘̆̽̎͊̊͂͑̎͜ͅ.̵̧̢̢̛̮̘̤̭̳͔̈͒͗͒̔̍̇̈́̂͝͝͠͝ͅ ̸̨̦͔͙̫̙͉̝̭̣̮̫̤̪̎́̈̊̂̈́̓̆̋͝͝ͅD̶̛͖̹̣̲̘̫̭͕͔̊͒̾̃͊̓̊̀͂͊̕͝͠ǒ̶̧̧̢͉̳͉͔̪̻̠̗̲̜̒̄̀͜ͅn̶̮̻̮͍͔͚̲̝̮̪̖͇̠͂͌̀͌͂'̷̢̨̥̖̟̘̟̖̗̪̜̌̈́̋̃ͅͅt̶͒͐͊̈́̄̐̉̓͋̽̊̓͜͠ ̸̼͉̘͚̈́͛l̵̨͕͓̂͗̓̾̑̈́͠͠ͅị̷̛̭̹̺̂̌̇̊̐̀̍̎̂̋̔͘͠ş̶͕͔͈͎̻͖̪̀̏͊̌ţ̶̢̜͔̪̱͍͈̞̭̯͎͑̐͌͊̾͜͝ȩ̴̛̥̺̄̿̀͐͑͒̓̈́̋̄͋n̸̨̠͐̔͋͗̿͒͐ ̸̠͇̻͕̗͎̇̂̌̐̒̈́̕͝͝t̶͔̤̮͆͊̃͝o̵̡̪̦̙̲͆̈̂̑͜ͅ ̶̼̙̤͆͌͠ą̶̛͍͚̦͇͓̥̯̟͑̿̐̇̈́̈́̔̌̊ͅn̴̢̩̺̪̂̒̆͛̄̇̂ŷ̴̢̡̢̛̳͕̹̝̲̖̻̇͗͒͐̓͗̒͌̚ͅǫ̴̮͈̤̖͆̈́͑̃͆̾̌̿̐́͋̊͠n̴̠̬̫̪͐̈͑̇͌̅̎̓̑ȇ̶̡͇́̆̈́.̷̢̣̩̖̫͖͕̊͌̓̍͛̈́̌̂̓͘

But he's my friend...

Jean stopped talking with [Name] after that. The amnesiac teenager never felt so much sadness before— after all, Jean was his close friend. Beatrice could only guess what happened between them, and she couldn't possibly blame Jean. Seeing how [Name] stayed in his room all day made her worried— the boy was always under his blankets, and when he came down to eat, he was wrapped around his blankets still. Even if he looked so adorable like that, Beatrice couldn't feel happy when his expression screamed absolute sadness. She knew the best was for the two to talk it out, but seeing Jean nor [Name] tried to fix this, she decided to do a small step— talk to Jean. She have talked to [Name], but the boy didn't even wanted to leave to room.

When Beatrice talked to Lydia, the woman had realized something was wrong the moment her son returned so angry. He had come straight to his room and closed the door with such force that it was heard everywhere in the house. But he didn't shut himself in his room too much, thankfully.

When Jean came downstairs and saw Beatrice, he frowned and clenched his jaw. The woman could see his distress and maybe embarrassment— maybe he thought she would lecture him or something.

"Hello Jean," Beatrice smiled, hearing a small 'hi' from the boy as he sat down with her, "I know you know why I'm here for, right? But don't worry, I'm not mad at you."

Jean didn't spoke, rather, he looked down as he crossed his arms.

"[Name] is sorry about what happened— it's not that he doesn't care, it's more that... he really wants to know what's outside. He cares a lot about you, you know? But you know how he is with his feelings."

The boy doesn't talk. Rather, he sighs heavily, trying to think. If [Name] was just a neighbor he barely knew, he couldn't care less, but he wasn't. It was his friend, the person he liked— his life. Why he couldn't just stay with him?

"It's stupid," Jean said, "joining the survey corps? Is he insane?"

She chuckled, "I know. But you can't trap a bird forever, Jean. It will eventually fly away when they see the opportunity— that's how [Name] is. He has his mind set, and he will not change any time soon, even if the world tells him otherwise."

"Aren't you... angry?" Jean asked, frowning. Was she okay with the fact [Name] was going to join the survey corps? And possibly die?

She smiled sadly, looking down, "Not angry... just sad," she looks at Jean, "you can't decide or force someone to decide what to do with their life, can you? Just look at it in reverse— if [Name] tried to reason with you to join the branch you don't want to be, would you? After your mind is set?"

He fell into silence. But it was different, right? The Military Police was safe. The Survey Corps wasn't— both of them could live together, even. Nevertheless, imagining [Name] bugging him to join together would only irritate him. Averting Beatrice's gaze, he crossed his arms in defeat,

"I can't make him, can I?"

"Not even me." She smiles, but not a happy one. It's empty, and Jean can see trough it, "oh, and also..." She laughs, "you should do something with these feelings of yours."

The teenager's face becomes red at hearing the call out— he frowns, trying to ignore his blush. "W-What feelings?! I'm mad at him! Not- Not in..."

"Love?" She chuckles, "just remember one day you two won't be together. Time doesn't wait, so be fast."

He groans, rubbing his neck. Beatrice claps, widening her eyes with a devilish grin.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him! My boy has become reaaaally handsome, Jean. I'll say act fast!"

"M-Miss Beatrice!"

"I'm just saying, dear!"

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

The amnesiac boy was miserable. Jean didn't want to talk to him, and [Name] didn't insist after that. If he didn't want to talk, then that was fine. But [Name] couldn't stop feeling so... sad. If it was Eren who fought with, his younger self wouldn't have cared as much as he did now. Since when did he change? Well, maybe it wasn't if he changed or not— he liked Jean. He enjoyed being with him and he helped him with his headaches, and more importantly, his voice wasn't annoying. [Name] grunted, hiding his face under the blankets.

[Name] didn't answer when he heard a knock on his door— he didn’t even paid attention of who the footsteps belonged to. Not until the person spoke, recognizing Jean.

”[Name]? Are you there?”

Jean? [Name] turned at the door, still wrapped around his blankets. He blinked,

"[Name]...?"

The amnesiac boy quietly got up from his bed, slightly opening the door just a little gap, his tired eyes prying outside the room to see Jean. The other jumped in surprise by the squeak the door made, along with seeing the unusual dull eyes looking at him.

"Can I... come in?" He gulped as [Name] fully opened the door for him to enter, closing it after. The amnesiac boy sit down on his bed, still covered in blankets. Honestly, Jean thought he looked adorable like this— but that wasn't important right now!

There was silence. Surprisingly, [Name] was the one who spoke first.

"I don't want you to be mad at me..." He looked down, playing with his fingers. His plain expression was the same, but his tone of voice changed. It was like a hurting child.

Jean sighed heavily, rubbing his neck. He didn't like being mad with him either— but he was justified, wasn't he? Maybe not but... he didn't like the idea of joining the survey corps one a bit. He wouldn't, that wasn't for him at all.

"Me neither," He sat down besides [Name], who didn't look at him still. "It's just... I don't want you to... die."

"I won't." He looked at Jean with a different expression he couldn't pin point, "I promise."

"Yeah yeah..." He didn't believe it— but knew [Name] was strong. Even if he still didn't accept hat he wanted to do, maybe, just maybe he could change his decision in the future, right? "I'm not mad, okay?" He looked at him with a clear frown in his face. Jean wasn't happy, neither angry— just... sad about not getting his way this time.

Silently, [Name] wrapped him around his blankets too, sharing them. "Joining branches will take time, so let's enjoy our time together." The corner of his mouth slightly raised, taking Jean's hand. He blushed clearly— how couldn't he? "Let's lay down."

Obeying, the two boys laid together on the bed, looking at each other. Jean averted looking at [Name] with a blush, while the other looked thoughtful. Can he hear my heartbeat??? Fuckfuckfuck—

"I haven't told you the reason why I want to join." That gained Jean's interest, forgetting about his little problem, "but don't tell anyone, alright?"

Then, he explained his first memory, who and how they found him and how he met Beatrice. Seeing it like this Jean understood, but wasn't he scared after seeing the titans? He never understood how the titans didn't scare him off when they took over Shinganshina— he admired him in secret, but he wouldn't say that out loud. Even so, it interested him where [Name] was from— that was why his eyes were different from everyone's? But outside the walls... that was impossible. No one lived outside— only titans.

"So that's why you want to go..." He closed his eyes, blushing, "just because I stopped being mad doesn't mean I still like the idea, o-okay?!"

The sound provided from the amnesiac boy surprised him— [Name] was chuckling. It was the first time hearing him like this. After all, him reacting like this was something rare. "Okay," he answered as he closed his eyes, "let's sleep."

Jean looked at [Name], still blushing. He was so... handsome but pretty at the same time. He looked so peaceful and gentle like this. Jean would never ever in his life would say that he always watched the boy in secret when they shared the bed together when they were younger, along with many secrets and memories he will hold everyday. He didn't want him to go someday— the thought only made him angry. This wasn't fair.

"And also! Who knows who will take interest of him!"

Remembering Beatrice's words made him almost grunt, covering his face. He wouldn't allow that! ...Would he?

  B̵̡̨̹̰̝̙̱͎͖̙̙̯͖̬̿̿̀̀̎̊͌͝ḙ̵̡͓͕̙͙̳͚̬̠͐͐̓̌̉̒͘͝͝ì̸̧̟̝̟̥̠̺̦̫̯͈͗̌̈́̒͂͑͆̄̈́̀̓͜͠n̴̨̡̪̗̜̮͇̳̮̟̼̗͇͒̋̊ͅͅg̴̥͇̼̹̮̻̼̬͉̺̲̝͐͊̏͋͑͜ ̵̢̺͑̃̈́̈́̈́͆̅͂̚̚̚ẅ̶̻̲͕͚͖̕ͅį̶̯͓͆͌̕͜͝t̷̜͉͎̫̘̝̠̣̰̲͕̫͓́̎͂̎h̷̺̼͕͔̹̪̮̜͚̯͐̎̉̎͐̇̽͒̃͝ͅ ̴͔̲̻̺̙̉̀̅̃̿̊͒̋̎̓͆̚̚̚ơ̸͎̜̜̣͊̔̂͊̉̌́͆͆̑̓͗t̶̘͇̟̦̩̞̰͉̱̰̖̜̱͕̐̆͋̒̈́͆͋͝͠͠͝ͅh̴͚͐͊̊̌̇ͅͅȩ̸̳̤̪̖̹͈̥͔̩̠̥̅̄̔̅̈́͋̓̒̚͝͝r̸͖͙̖͓̆s̴̨͙͔̦͙̃͑̅̈́͒̏̇͆̈́̾͊͝ ̸͓̹̫͇̺̭͉̙͗͜ȏ̵̺̘̱̮̜̟̗ņ̴̛̳̖̮̝̒̈́͋̽̌̅͊͊̚͝͠͠͝ͅl̵͍̻̜̖͑̋̿̃̈́͝ͅy̷̢͎͉͙̖͔͍̜͉͓̩̣̼̅̏͘ ̸̨̧̳̱̆̽̉̐͝w̴̧͚̗͎͍̳̣͇̣͍͍̜̣̔̒̅ǐ̷̤̦̰̫̱̃͌̈ͅl̷̡͚̰͔̼̩̦͖̬̼͍͖͗̒̐͝l̶̡̙̳͖̘̤͋̑̈́̈́̅̓̈́́̄̃̋͠ ̶̬̻͉͉̞̞͙̝̺͖̂ͅc̷̢̣͙̝̞̻̬͔͙̕ǎ̶̡̘̝̥̳̪̮͔̫̒́̆̈̀̐̏̑̕͝͠u̸͓͛̈́̌̑̐̅̒̆̿͆̋s̷̗̙̙̩̰̮̤̤̼̥̪͓̝̰̎̍̒̿͆̏͆̓̍̚͝ͅe̸͖͈̺͓̪̽͌ ̴̛͖̲͓̟̳͍̤̍͌̅̔̒̽̍̽͘̚h̵̢̡͚̺̩̻̉͂̓ī̴͔͇̙̝̓̓̿̐͗̈́̒͝m̴̥̘̱̦͚̹̱̳̻͂̂͗̏̾͌̑̿̆̂̃̄́̅͜ ̸̢̨̢̛̼͎͈̫̲̗̬̺̞̞̅̍͑̈́̍̚ͅš̴̨̝̻͙̘͇̞̠͕̠͎̫̐̈́̌͘͠͝͠͠u̷͚̝̗̜͉͔̪̙̣̪͓̦̝̲͗̐́̿̈́͋́͠f̸̢͙͈̲̘̙͈̱̈̾͒̊̕f̶̧͖̬̻͖͙̥̫̆̾͆́͒̀́̽̀̇̇̾ͅḙ̷̢̡͍͕̟͉͓̮̲̰͕̙͓̋̂̆͠ŗ̷̛̬͓̼̲͍̻̰̥̜̙̺̓̂̇͑̆̄̕͘͝͝͠į̴̜̬̹̥̘͚̘͉̲͎̜̆̈́͑̓n̷̥̏g̷̻̳̯̞̬͚̘̯̿̿.̴̧̹͖̱͔̙͙̳̣̾̂̕ͅ

L̴͚̗̄̂͐̏͐̆̓̕ĕ̶̡̤̳̠̹̪̹̰͔͕̑̏͌̈́ͅt̵̢̳͓͈̃̏̈́͗͗̌̈̄̀̓̄̆ ̶̭̹̦͕̞͈̲̙̙̺̈́̓̋͌̒̎̂̅̀̚̕͝͠ͅţ̴̧̡̱̥̲̥̗̲̮͇̜̬̙̳̈̏̍̾͋̽̎̆̈́̋̎̐̕͝ẖ̸̡̛̳̙̞̪̫̫̮̺͇̳͇͔̞͌̾͑̍̒̚̚͘͝͝e̸̼͐̈͋̑̀̅͐͆̓̕͠ ̶̨͖̯͇͖͓͍͓̩̍̌͂̅̈́b̷̢͈́͂͒̂̍̂̈́̍̎̏̉͊͆͘ơ̷͈̼̝̩̰̭̥̻̩̿̿̒́͜y̶̭̽̈́̈́͊̈̆͠ ̵͙̜̻́̇̆̓̑̌͊̾̌͛̎̑́͠b̷̧̥͍͍̞̍̑ę̴̧̯̗̩̥̭̰͕̓̃́̍͂̄͋̓̐̄̌͛̃̕͜.̴̧̬̫͚͔̭̝͉́̓͌̑̂̉̈̊͠ ̸̨̡̨̛̬̳̺̪̪͇͐͛́̑̾̈́̽̓͗̒̈́̚͝͠ͅY̶̜̪̟̳͍͖̥̼̭͉̭̼͐́̂̓̑̎́̇̋̕͜͝ͅớ̷̠̮̬̲̒̍̎͑̑͐̕u̶̢̢̮̺͓̘͈̠̟̰̱̞̥̣̓ͅ ̶͉̠̲̣̖͊̍̾̀̅̋̏͜k̵͈͂̒̋̃̽͊̈́̽̈́͆͂n̸̛̜̠͉̳̤̥̟̘̟̬̻͕͇͆̍̊̑͋̈̾̄̉̀͊͘̚͜ͅo̸̡̮̗͇̺̦̺͚̱̠̞͓̭̓̐̕ͅŵ̸͙̉̉̈́̑̎̌̓͊̅̿̒͝ ̶̡̟͍͙̜̽̅͑͌̑͜͜͝͝w̸̡̩͈̩̹̤̙̝̒̑̾̂̌̎̚͠h̷̺̜̖̒̈́̓͝ă̶̜̥̖̘͔̹͐͐̓̈́̀̅̊̐̌̈̍̀͘͝t̵̗̥̲̚ ̷̨̩͗̍̈̈́́̈́͑̓̋̈̕͝ẉ̸̛̽͆̎͗̉͌̂̓̈́̃̿̋̍͜͝ĩ̴̛̛͍̺̣̲͍͋̀̀́͊̍͝͝l̷̛̠͚̰̊́̉̒̏͐̓̐͘̕̕l̸̬͍̤̠͓̠̬̃ ̷͍̥̭͉͉͍̞͔͎̯̺͎̑̾͌̾̈́h̶̨̢͖̯̫̮̭͑͜ẩ̷̰̩͙̰̲̳̹͗̊̑̈́̂͝͝p̴̡̡̛͇͎̮̟͍̥̯̂̔͜͠p̷̫̤̝̗̣͎̃͋̉͑́̋̈̎̾͌͝ͅẽ̶̼̠̳̙̬̉͒̾͂̄̂̽̍̍̐̈͠͝n̸͚̲̤̹̘̥̼̉̅͗̏̔͆̈̕͘̕ͅ ̴̨̛̛̟̦̬̺̫̣̯͓̜͖͎͆̍͑̄͗̑̊͘͝ļ̸̣̫̖̫̘̎̈́͋͌̿̽̊͑̚͠ả̷̩̣̮̫̐͊̽͊̃͠t̷̺̣̘͋e̶̙͓̯̜̭̗̥͉̫̎͛̆̀̓͊̚͜͜͝ͅr̴̩͔̗̔͛.̸̧̖̤̰̱̻͓̂͊

  [Name]'s whimpers took his attention. The amnesiac boy was frowning, and Jean knew exactly what was happening.

"Your head again?" He unconsciously placed his hand on [Name]'s forehead, worried. The touch somehow calmed him a little.

"I tried to remember— bad choice." He sighed, hiding his face onto Jean's chest, making the teenager blush completely again. He knew [Name] could hear his heartbeat— calm yourself! Clenching his jaw, he hugged the boy closer, looking at the side in shyness. He had to enjoyed while it lasted— soon they will be in the military, and doing things like this in front of everyone would be embarrassing, wouldn't be? He only wished time didn't go as fast.

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

This was the day.

[Name] packed his stuff with the help of his mother, she doing most of the talking. She didn't want to cry, so the best she could so was to keep her mind occupied in talking and helping.

"You are such a handsome boy now, I can't believe it..." She sighed, "You are getting taller too..."

"Do you think so? Jean is still taller than me."

"He had grow up so much too... And to think it has been only two years." She laughed, "I can't wait to see how the military has shaped you."

They finish quickly, after all it isn't much. They leave the house, stopping at the entrance. There's silence— both of them see the path where everyone is going. After all, today was the day to enlist, and many teenagers were already leaving their homes. [Name] turns to see Beatrice, who is deep in thought.

She sighs, "you can come back if you can't take it, alright? No one will think less of you!" She takes him and kisses him all over, receiving a chuckle from [Name].

"Okay, mom."

"Don't forget to visit! I will sent you letters, okay? If I can I will sent you some cookies too!" She kisses him, "do your best, and make a lot of friends, please? When you come back in your free time, come with your friends! A lot of food will await you."

With a last hug and more kisses, [Name] leaves. When Beatrice can't see him anymore, tears fall from her face as she tries to hold her sobs. She wipes them, but the tears won't stop from falling. She's horribly sad and broken, but she knows this is the right choice for him. After all, he belongs somewhere else.

"Please come back safe..."

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

"There you are," Jean says, already waiting for him in their usual spot. They agreed to go together, as always, "thought you changed your mind."

[Name] let his tongue out, making Jean snort. "Never." They return on their walk, following the others teenagers to their new future.

I hope... they are there.

T̵̨̨̛̠̤͇̩̩͈̤̪͖̮̜̜̼̣̳̟̝̫͒͒͂̽͛̒͑̍̇̒͆̚͝h̶̩̜̳͔͍̱̳̺͍̲̩͔̥̠͍͚͈̑̃̐̾̇́̓͐͑̔̚͝e̶̫̭̬̩̰̝̬͎̰̿͋̓̒̅̉̉̎͗̕͜y̵̨̢̲͓͇͓͔͓͐̽̃͆̿̓̕͘ ̶̛̣̗̪̙͒̑̊͂̈́͒̏̔ẅ̷̢̧̨̛̬̗̮̳̣̙͉̟̫̣̬̮̲̲̬͔̑̓̒̉̾͠ḭ̵̬̲͉̱̲͕̱͕̞͉̯͎̯̘̤̙̠̻̽̽͋̀͑̓̂̍͆̉̽͐̍͑̋ͅl̸̢̡̧̬̟̞̻̩͈͓̙̙̻̺̲̭̤̦̼͉̖̩̻̩̣̓͗̐̊̓ͅļ̵̧̢̢͖̼̤̲̩̙̥̖̘̜̭̗̫̗̮͓͔̗̦̗͖̱̎̃̇̈́̊͋͑͌̓̀̐̀̏̔͋͋͋ͅ.̷͎̖̲̈́̋̑̈́̅̈́͆̈̓͛̾̐͊͋̐̓̌̈́̔͑̔̑̔̽

reiss mental asylum / ＳＰＥＣＩＡＬ♡ＶＡＬＥＮＴＩＮＥ

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

ＳＰＥＣＩＡＬ♡ＶＡＬＥＮＴＩＮＥ

i ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕ.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Good morning!" [Name] greeted excitedly, waving at everyone in the halls. Smiling, the assistant had a couple of red boxes in his arms. He was heading to his office to arrange his stuff— he had a little surprise for everyone today.

Arriving to his —or rather Zeke and his— office, the boy dropped the boxes on the desk. He had prepared everything one day before, and even baked in the late night. [Name] was always lively and excited in festive days— just like today was Valentine's day! Good thing there was a simple activity at the asylum— patients could receive and give gifts between them.

He had baked home-made chocolates, bought lollipops, have wrote letter for his patients and workers... He was pretty excited. His first gift was a bag with chocolates and a letter for his neighbor Porco, before he left for work. Surprisingly, the blond had too a gift for [Name]: a gift-card and a... obvious home-made chocolate. The amateur molding gave it away, but it didn’t make it less cute and sweet.

It was very special to [Name], because Porco’s behavior usually wasn’t like this. He knew from his friends that the blond wasn't that very gift-giving, much less a touchy-caring person, but that didn't mean he didn't treasure his friends.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

[Name] tries to close the door of his apartment at fast as he can, but his hands full of stuff doesn't let him, making it fall all over the floor. He puts and lets out a groan before locking the door and kneeling to take them. He's going to arrive late, so he tries his best to collect everything fast. He's occupied with it that he doesn't notice his neighbor leaving his apartment and looks at him with a blush on his face. The blond approaches [Name] and kneels to help him, making the [hair color] haired notice him finally.

"Porco!" [Name] excitedly speaks, "good thing I see you before leaving! I I have your—"

But before [Name] could finish, Porco handed rather harshly a box with chocolates on it, along with a gift card as he avert his gaze with a clear crimson on his face. [Name] takes it surprised, not expecting it. "Here." He just says, standing up with [Name]'s stuff on his arms, still not looking at him.

[Name] stares dumbfounded for a moment, before waking up from his daze and stand up too. He looks carefully at the gift— so that's what was Porco doing last night? The apartment's walls weren't sound proof, so [Name] could clearly hear Porco's loud swearing in the late night, same time he was baking. [Name] smiles with a blush decorating his face, "thank you, Porco! I really appreciate it."

"J-Just, don't talk about it!" With his free hand he covers his mouth in embarrassment. If anybody in the office heard about it, he would be bullied about it until his death, and with his pride present, he wouldn't want that at all.

The gentle male chuckles, before remembering the gift he has for his neighbor. Between all of his things, he finds a small red box with a letter tape on it, with the front reading "Porco" with a small heart on it. He hands it to him with a blush, glad that Porco takes it as he hands him his stuff. "Don't open it right now! Open it when you are at work so you can eat chocolate!" He laughs like a child, music to the blonde's ears.

"You are so cheesy," He coughs, hiding his shyness. He ruffles [Name]'s head, messing his hair as he speaks, "thanks."

Both of them leave the building together, but seeing all of the stuff [Name]'s is carrying, Porco doesn't mind dropping [Name] off.

"Good luck and uh... have a nice day at work."

"You too, and thanks for dropping me off!" [Name] says, opening the car's door to leave. But before he can exit the car, Porco takes his wrist wordlessly and gently pulls him. [Name] feels something warm on his forehead, and before he can realize what is happening Porco moves away, refusing to see him. [Name] can see Porco's face is all red, along with his own.

[Name] is not brave with this sort of things, but seeing Porco, of all people, do that, he didn't see why not. He peeks his cheek, surprising the blonde. The assistant smiles at him, and before he leaves he says, "don't forget to eat my chocolates!"

Let's just say Porco's mind is full of this moment repeating so much times he forgets where he is actually going.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Arranging his stuff with a smile, the assistant began to remind himself about his schedule. To not to being carrying everything, the best he could do right now was take his worker’s gifts. After all, before going to sessions there was a small free time in the cafeteria. Looking at the clock, he was just in time to go. Not wanting to waste any minute, he took each bag and boxes full of chocolates along with his letters and left hurriedly, carefully not dropping anything in his way.

Fortunately for him, he's greeted by Mike, who seems to have waited for him with a coffee cup in his hand. But as soon as he sees [Name] with his stuff, he approaches him. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Mike! Uhm—"

"Take this." He hands him the coffee to take all of the boxes and little bags. It's not much to Mike, as he is much taller than the assistant. [Name] says that he doesn't need to do that, but the blonde doesn't listen to him at all and begins to walk ahead, in which [Name] with a defeated sigh, follows.

[Name] takes a sip from the coffee, but his eyes widened at the wonderful taste of it, "this isn't coffee!" He smiles, enjoying the taste of hot chocolate in his mouth, "thank you, Mike! It's so good..." The blonde just smiles, enjoying [Name]'s chatter. He looked rather cute today— [Name] wear a heart clip on his hair, revealing his cute face more today. And he also smelled like sweet strawberries and chocolate, which was a good plus.

"Ah!" [Name] remembers, "wait a moment, please." Mike raises a brow, stopping in a not busy hallway. There are no much workers passing trough, so they are not disturbing anyone. [Name] looks trough the boxes, carefully not slipping any chocolate, until he finds the one he's looking for— a box with Mike's name on the letter. "This one is for you! I can take care of it until we get to to the cafeteria." He holds it with care, smiling at him.

The taller man just chuckles by [Name]'s childish behavior, and he can't stop himself from stopping him and kiss his temples. [Name] instantly blushes, but as soon as Mike finishes, he gets on his tip toes and kiss the blonde's cheek in return. It's sweet and cute to the taller man, and he can't help but be vocal about his thoughts, "cute." [Name]'s answer was a blush, as he hided behind Mike's, feeling shy. They returned to their walk to the cafeteria.

As they arrive, [Name] helps Mike placing the boxes on the table to let his rest. He hands him his gift and also a hear-shaped lollipop, gaining a laugh from the taller man. Levi, seeing the rather irritating interaction, narrowed his eyes as he saw all of [Name]'s stuff on the table. If he guessed right, a faint smell of chocolate was present. And seeing the rather... adorable hair-clip the assistant was wearing give it right away something valentine's thing was going on with him.

"This is chocolate?" The ravenette asked, taking their attention. [Name] nodded excitedly, already trying to find Levi's gift, placing his cup on the table. The ravenette noted the cup wasn't his— he narrowed his eyes at Mike, who only grinned slightly. So that’s why you left, you fucking tree. As he crossed his arms, [Name] joyfully handed him his gift, in which Levi took, inspecting it. "A letter?" Just as he was opening the letter, a loud irritating voice was heard approaching.

"Oh my!!! Are these gifts??? CHOCOLATE?!" Hanji grinned, looking at the gifts. [Name] immediately handed hers, and the woman took it harshly from his hands. "You are so adorable!!!" She pinched [Name]'s cheeks, making his eyes teary.

"Hanji!" [Name] tried to protest, but it went to deaf ears. It hurt, but thankfully Mike took Hanji's chocolates and shoved them into her mouth, silencing her and changing her attention to eating. The poor assistant rubbed his cheeks, thanking Mike by the help.

Levi, irritated by how Hanji was, opened the letter nevertheless. It was decorated with stickers and cute doodles, and it was pretty short. It made the ravenette remember the love cheesy letters he got from high school— just like the girls back then would try to have and do cute things with stickers, cute band-aids, small handwriting. He didn't particularly like receiving this type of letters, but getting them by [Name] was greatly different.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

♡ 𝒕𝒐: 𝒍𝒆𝒗𝒊 ♡

𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒆! 𝒊 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒊 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖.

𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆! ♡(ŐωŐ人)

𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎: [𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒆] (✿╹◡╹)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

He just stared blankly at the words, not sure of what to say about it. It seemed this was the first things he got from the assistant —the person that sooner or later would be his—, so he had to treasure it. Folding the letter back to it's past form, he put it in his pocket secretly. This feeling... was so troublesome.

"Oh! Where's Zeke? I haven't seen him." [Name] asks, instantly changing Levi's mood.

"Don't know." The ravenette answers, not interested to talk about four-eyes #2. Of course, Hanji can catch the change of mood, and as she already knows the actual situation revolving around little [Name], she decides to have some fun.

"You have a gift for him too? Oh my, he sure loves you, doesn't he?!" She grinned, secretly watching Levi's and Mike's reaction. They look rather annoyed, but they know what's she doing— but even if they try to hide it form her, it's impossible. "If I didn't know better, seems you love him already..." She chuckles, looking at the now nervous assistant.

[Name] blushes, trying to explain himself, "o-of course not! Mr. Jäeger is my boss!"

"Uhuhuhu, and? Doesn't mean anything!"

"Hanji!!!"

"Enough. You both are being annoying." The ravenette interferes, shoving more chocolates into Hanji's mouth. She instantly shuts up, content with the little fun she had.

"Wfy don't shu dfo that to [Name]???" Hanji tries to talks with her mouth full of chocolates, trying to grin at him. His' jaw clenches, being caught. He doesn't answer and shoves more against Hanji's protests.

"There are more gifts. For who?" Mike interjects, interested by the amount of bags there are. He can guess to who [Name] will give them.

"To my patients!" He answers with a smile. [Name] cared about his patients dearly, so a gift for them today wasn't even out of the picture. If a person knows you care, there's surely more trust, even if it's a little thing. And [Name] doesn't want the trust just for work purposes, but for them feeling that they can count on him.

Levi immediately speaks, not liking the idea himself. “Erwin won’t like that.”

The assistant scratches his cheek, a little upset, ”I know... but anything a good talk can’t do! I may convince him.” For some strange reason, workers were refrained to gift things to their patients. But even so, [Name] had thought any precaution on his gifts, carefully wrapped the chocolates in non-harming stuff that the patients could use against him or them.

Mike laughs, “you will.” He knows this small person has Erwin around his finger, even if he doesn’t know. Or rather, everyone is, including himself. A 'good luck!!!' from Hanji was heard, along with a small see you later from Mike.

"But first I have to find Zeke!" Seeing as his friends had their gifts, he took the two remaining boxes and excused himself. But just after he left the cafeteria, someone followed him, grabbing his shoulder and pinning him against a wall. It was Levi, who was looking at him with his usual frown— was he mad?! "L-Levi?" [Name] tried to speak, but was silenced by a gentle caring touch on his cheek. It surprised him greatly— the ravenette wasn't touchy by any means, let alone showing his feelings. There was a silence, until Levi handed a letter and a chocolate to [Name]. Taking in it with a small thank you, the ravenette spoke while still caressing his gentle face with a soft look on his dark eyes that [Name] never saw before,

"See you around, air-head," and then, he left without saying anything else.

[Name] stood there with a blush, before blinking and leaving hurriedly with the small but great interaction in his mind.

  ♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡

"Zeke!" The blond could hear from afar, turning his attention behind him. As he realized the gentle voice of his assistant, he sighed in relief. It was boring as hell to keep on watching patients in the gardens— totally a waste on time. But just hearing his favorite person in the world just changed his whole mood. His assistant approaches him, and he can't deny he looks so cute with that heart clip. The blonde coughs, controlling himself.

"[Name], good morning." He noticed the box on [Name]'s hands, "hmn? what's that? a love confession?"

"N-No! It's just a gift from valentines day!" He blushed, handing it to Zeke, "It's chocolate! I made them myself, hehe."

"Is that so," he arched his brow, impressed. It seemed [Name] could fill the role of a mother just right. Caring, adorable looks, and baking chocolate? That was just enough. Zeke took the box, already opening to eat the chocolates— they were, as he expected, good. They were molded in a heart shape, which was rather cute. "They are good, as expected."

"I'm glad!" [Name] chuckled, relieved. He was rather worried some of his workers, if not all, were not that sugar-lovers. But as far so good, it seemed.

"Here," he took a chocolate and gave it to [Name], who at first didn't want to take it. The blond, not receiving a no for an answer, shoved it to the assistant's mouth. The assistant had no much choice and just ate it. Zeke couldn't stop watching him, though. Why was this person so cute? So adorable? He just wanted to keep him, like a doll.

Without much thought, the doctor shoved the other side of [Name]'s hair out of his face, taking his attention. [Name] looks at him, and the blond can note how long his eyelashes are— how his prying eyes look at him. Zeke lets his thoughts know, "you are so adorable." [Name]'s face went red, unexpecting such comment.

"Um—! ThankyouIhavetogo!" And just like that the assistant flied, with Zeke's gaze following him until he disappears. He smirks, still eating chocolate.

"So adorable..."

♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡♡~♡

"Come in," [Name] heard, controlling his nerves as he opened the door. He instantly met with blues eyes, making him gulp. He liked Erwin, but he couldn't deny the dominant aura that surrounded him. After all, he was the boss from this place, so his authority was high. But the plus was that he was nice to [Name], even if he did something wrong. "[Name], good morning. What brings you here?" He stopped his current actions and pay full attention to his favorite worker.

"Good morning!" The assistant approached him, leaving the box on his desk, "it's a gift! For valentine's day and all..." The blonde chuckles at such cute packing— it was neat and simple, but not less adorable. He too was reminded of his love-gifts back in high school.

"Thank you, [Name]," He smiles at the assistant with his breathtaking smile— oof, he is so handsome! [Name] blushes at such smile, averting the other's gaze on him with a shy expression. Thanks to him turning his head to his side, the blonde can notice the heart clip on his hair and how it shoves the left side of his hair, exposing his face more. "Your clip is nice." He complimented, gaining another shy thank you!  from the assistant, with more blush this time.

"And, uhm..." The [hair color] haired begins, rubbing his hands together behind him. He knows he will receive a no, but he has to try. Maybe he could be more benevolent... "I wanted to ask if, I, uhm..."

"Yes, [Name]?"

"If I could gift my patients chocolates...?"

There was an instant answer that Erwin didn't have to think about, "no."

"N-No? B-But I—"

"[Name]..." The blond slowly stood up, towering [Name]. The assistant didn't feel particularly intimidated, but more like dominated. But that wasn't going to let [Name] lose— just the thought of making his patients happy filled him with determination.

Approaching the blonde, the assistant tried to look as cute as possible, “please, Erwin?” [Name] was doing puppy eyes, doing the exact same thing he did before— grabbing Erwin’s hands close to his chest. The blond let out a long sigh, trying to control himself. This was just a punishment. [Name] knew what was he doing— it was too obvious.

Nevertheless, Erwin didn't give in, or rather, tried to. “It’s dangerous, and not allowed.”

“Pretty please!” Now his hands were begin pressed against [Name]’s face, as he blinked repeatedly with his long eyelashes.

“It’s still a no, [Name].”

“But—” he sighed, “it should be something good for them for once, Erwin...”

The blonde’s face darkened as he heard his name, clenching his jaw. Was it even possible that only hearing his name being called by [Name] made him lost control? By such a simple word? It didn’t help at all the assistant looked this adorable. So appetizing.

He sighed in defeated, “alright. I will allow it."

[Name] blinks a couple of times, but then smiles, “thank you!” He tip toes to peck Erwin’s cheek, and as he felt disappointment, he couldn’t stop his laughter at such cute and cheesy moment. The blond didn’t want to ruin the trust— even if his insides were screaming at him to take him and devour him, he ignores it. "Thank you very much, Erwin!"

"Just don't get yourself hurt, okay? Keep your distance, the guards will be just outside the room."

"Of course! Don't forget to eat your chocolate!" And with a last smile for him, the cute assistant left in a hurry, clearly happy. The blonde just chuckled by himself, amused by him. He sat down again, looking at the box. He took the letter and opened it— it was a pink paper with hearts around it and bunny doodles.

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𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆. 𝑰 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒆!

𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒊𝒔𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆!

𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝑽𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝑫𝒂𝒚, 𝑬𝒓𝒘𝒊𝒏!

𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎: [𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒆] (人･㉨･)♡

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Such a cutie."

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”Hello, Armin,” [Name]’s calm and kind voice makes Armin smiles dreamily, already waiting for him. It's a lucky thing they can have a calendar —or rather the ones with good behavior—, because he had [Name]'s gift ready.

The assistant sat down, grabbing the small bag and handed it to Armin, "this is for you!" The blonde takes it immediately, smiling widely as he inspects it like a child.

"Thank you..." He blushed, but as he tries to say something else, he shuts his mouth. [Name] notices, and tries to make him talk.

"Is something you want to tell me?" He pries, looking expectantly at the blond. He's silent, but nods to himself. Armin hands him a letter— its folded but at the front can be read "for my love". [Name] unfolds it, revealing a drawing of the ocean. It seems it's colored with pencils, and on the white sky can be read:

"Thank you for staying with me. I really love you.

One day we'll go to the ocean together, when the two of us get out of here.

I love you, Dr. [Name]."

[Name] smiled, trying to hide his sadness at such request. He promised himself Armin would see it— but not anytime soon. Folding it, he put it in his pocket with care, "thank you very much, Armin. Your drawings never cease to amaze me!" The blond blushed by the compliment, tightening his grip on his gift.

"Well, I shall go," seeing Armin's sad expression hurt [Name]'s heart, and he tried to make him feel better, "don't wear such face— I always return, don't I? Next time you could tell me if you liked my chocolates or not." The blond fought against his sadness, but nodded nevertheless. [Name] patted his head, looking softly at him before leaving.

Armin hugs the gift, not wanting to ruin it. "I love you..."

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"Pretty boy! What brings you here?" Jean grins devilish, seeing the assistant enter the room. Thank god— being trapped in this place could be a nightmare. But hey, nothing that a pretty doctor can't do. His favorite doctor, or at least to tease.

"Hi, Jean," [Name] chuckles, familiarized with such comments, "today's Valentines day. Did you receive or give anything?"

The patient's face changed drastically to a blushed one, surprising [Name]. "Of course not!" He sounded rather offended, "why would I?!"

"Hmn? Why is that?" [Name] tried to pry, grinning. It was fun to tease the other— it reminded him of the relationship of his old friends. And also it wasn't always that he could tease him.

"W-Well, I don't have anything for you either! That sounds just so dumb, so stop asking." He averted his gaze with a faint blush on his face, clenching his teeth. He crossed his arms.

The assistant laughs, amazed by such weird reaction. "Well, I do have something for you!" He took the small bag, putting it on the desk, trying to see Jean's reaction to it.

"Uh?" Jean blinks, seeing the gift. It's pretty simple, but it doesn't feel less nice. He seems to notice his own behavior, shaking his head, "whatever."

Seeing as Jean wasn't taking it or anything, that was a signal to [Name] to leave. It wasn't a bad thing, as he didn't mind. With a smile, [Name] stands up, "well, I shall be going then." He began to leave, but Jean's voice stops him from doing so.

"W-Wait," he speaks. [Name] turns, being met with a messily folded paper on his side of the table. The assistant is surprised, he didn't expect a gift from him, particularly. He opens it, revealing a drawing of him. It puts a big smile on his face, "thank you very much, Jean!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He tries to sound uninterested, not looking at the assistant still. [Name] can see crimson on his face, chuckling. He leaves, waving at Jean.

Just as the assistant leaves there's silence. Jean sighs, closing his eyes.

"What the hell is happening to me..."

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"Finally you came back!" A loud voice is heard just when [Name] enters the room. It seemed he was being expected, seeing the reaction.

"Hello Connie!" [Name] waves, happy to see him again, "as today's Valentines day, have you got anything?"

His face changes instantly. He puts and crosses his arms, "no, but I don't care anyways!" He tried to hide his disappointment. After all, how the great him couldn't have received anything? That was stupid!

[Name] raises his brows, "is that so?" he smiles, "that's good— I can be first then."

Connie looks at him in suspicion but surprise, seeing the assistant leave a bag with chocolates in front of him. That makes him smile widely, returning to his usual self, "of course! You couldn't resist giving my amazing self something, could you?" He took the bag, eating the chocolates already. They were fantastic— he couldn't stop eating them!

[Name] laughs, happy by the sight.

The patient coughs, a small faint blush on his face, "I got you something." He hands him a letter, which [Name] takes with surprise. He thought Connie wouldn't give him anything, but he was wrong.

Right away the handwriting is not... great, but that doesn't mean it's bad. And also, there was a doodle of two people— an arrow pointed at them, one read "Connie" pointing at him with a crow., and "[Name]" with a smaller crown too.

"You should feel proud the amazing Connie has given you this!!!

Anyways, here's a drawing of fantastic me and well, good you:"

It's... interesting, that's for sure. "Thank you, Connie. It's... really nice of you." He smiled, trying to hold his laughter. Connie grins widely, happy by the compliment.

"Of course, of course."

"Well, I'll take my leave." He can see Connie's frown, "hey— I will be back sooner nor later, okay? No rush."

It seems Connie thinks on what to say, but speaks nevertheless, "...Sure."

[Name] leaves, waving at the boy.

Connie returns on eating chocolates, mumbling to himself.

"I should ask for more."

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"Good morning!" The assistant spoke happily, spotting Bert's already blushing mess. "Have you got anything?"

The brunette just looks down and shakes his head, still blushing. He's gripping something between his hands, but [Name] can't see clearly what it is.

"Well, I'm happy I'm your first!" He chuckles, taking the gift and leaving it on the table. Bertolt face lighten ups instantly, looking happier now. [Name] wanted to make him smile— it reminded him a smile from a child. It was adorable. "Hope they are good! I think they are... presentable? hehe,"

"I-I'm sure they are good!" The brunette spoke loudly, but fell silent as he noticed his outburst. [Name] grins, happy by the reaction.

"It's okay, Bertolt! If they are not good you don't have to eat them, okay?" He tilts his head, seeing the taller male nod.

There's silence, but [Name] hears his soft voice speaking after a minute, "I-I have something for you..." Bertolt puts on the table a folded letter. [Name] takes it, opening it. By his surprise, there's a red flattened flower on it besides the good handwriting:

"You are the beautiful person I've ever seen.

I like you a lot. Hope you like me back."

[Name] can't help but smile widely, "thank you, Bertolt. I really like you, okay?" He kiss his nose, making the taller male blush immediately. But he doesn't stay still— surprisingly, he kisses [Name]'s temples with his eyes closed. [Name] chuckles, feeling the other pulling apart. "Let's see when we can go to the gardens again."

"I-I hope soon!"

The assistant stands up, his gentle smile not disappearing. "I will see you later, Bertolt." And then he leaves, leaving the brunette alone again.

"So beautiful..."

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"But isn't it 'angel'?"

"Hello, Reiner," [Name] is more than prepare any of what the blond has to say, "I'm guessing you know what today is, isn't?"

"Of course, and I have the perfect gift for you, doctor."

"Is that so?" [Name] smiles, the blond nods. He's handing him a paper, but as [Name] tries to take it, Reiner takes his wrist and pull him over for a heated kiss. The assistant instantly blushes, trying to get away but the other's grip is hard. The blonde smiles trough the forced kiss, letting go of [Name] suddenly, making him drop on his butt on the floor, "R-Reiner! What was that?!" He asked, trying to keep his voice down to not get the guards in. His whole face was red— he didn't expect something like that at all, but coming for Reiner it was, in some way.

"What? It's just a gift. And also, you haven't read my letter."

[Name], still blushing, stood up slowly. He unfolded the paper, and by just looking at it he blushed even more.

"Want to fuck?"

"T-This..." He couldn't even speak. His gaze fell on the blonde, who only winked in return. "You sure are crude, Reiner."

"I prefer the term upfront. Why dance around it when you can just say it?"

"A-Anyways," [Name] cleared his throat, showing the bag with chocolates, "this is my gift."

The blond looks at it interested, not expecting a gift. Never in the time he has receive something— but even if this wasn't what he really wanted, it felt different.

"A love confession?" He laughed, taking it.

"Of course not! Romantic relationship between worker and patients are forbidden!" He blushed, covering his mouth as he remembered what just happened. "I-I have to go! Hope you like the chocolates!" He didn't give time for the other to answer, leaving in a hurry. Reiner laughs at his embarrassment, eating the chocolates.

"He could be a great wife."

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"Good morning, Mr. Jäger." [Name] soft voice is heard, a small smile present on his face. He doesn't receive an answer, just a hard gaze on him. [Name] didn't know a pair of eyes could be so intimidating. He sat down, "as today is Valentine's day, have you received anything?" He tried to strike a conversation, but that wasn't on Eren's liking.

He crossed his arms, "stop trying. It's ridiculous." He narrows his eyes, still. [Name] sighs, but doesn't feel bad— it's just how it is.

"Well, I have some chocolates for you." He puts the bag on the table, "I hope they are not too bad."

"I don't want them."

"That's okay. But I can't take them back with me, so you can do whatever you want with them once I leave." [Name] keeps his smile with a gentle look on his face. The brunette hates it— why is he smiling like that?

Seeing as Eren wouldn't speak or share anything, [Name] left. But not without saying a see you later and waving at him.

He waited until [Name] left to look at the bag. As it was transparent, he could see a folded letter inside. He opened it, taking the paper with his name on it, and opened it. It didn't have that much stickers and doodles, but there were one bear and one frog sticker, along with plants doodles. The brunette arched his brow, unimpressed by the childish drawings. The writing was pretty short,

✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦✦

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖. 𝑰 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕, 𝑴𝒓. 𝑱ä𝒆𝒈𝒆𝒓. 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒔, 𝒔𝒐 𝑰 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕.

𝑰 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒖𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆.

𝑯𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚 𝑽𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝑫𝒂𝒚!

𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎: [𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒆].

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Eren just looks at the letter, not taking his eyes off of it. It's... annoying how this doctor just doesn't quit— was he that stupid? Hmn, maybe Armin was right...

The brunette folded it again, this time taking the heart-shaped chocolates and eating them.

"We'll see."

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[Name] closes the door behind him with a heavy sigh. It felt like a long day— going to place to place. He just has to take his stuff and leave, but a sight in front of him stops him— there were roses on his desk! He approaches it, instantly smelling the flower's scent. There were four cards on them, he took them and read them:

"You smell good."

"For the cutest assistant in this place."

"You can bake good chocolates but not lunch, air head?"

"Your clumsiness is adorable."

[Name] chuckles at each personality, knowing who they were. Hugging his bucket, smelling it.

What a busy day.

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e m p t y / 6

shingeki no kyojin | series [various x male!amnesiac!reader] summary: [Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place – trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches. Who is he? And why he can’t remember his own face? masterlist

chapter six — new memories [1.4]

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Armin was nice— [Name] really liked him. He was gentle, his voice was soft and he wasn’t an idiot. That was enough for [Name] to not hate him, surprisingly. Fortunately for him, Armin liked him too.

“How has your handwriting gotten?” Armin asks, eating some cookies Beatrice made for them. They sitting on the table inside [Name]’s house— the usual spot to teach [Name].

“I think it’s better. But I’ve gotten some trouble remembering some letters.” Handing him his notebook, [Name] watches expectantly as Armin takes the item and looks at it, flipping some pages.

Humming, the blond inspects the semi-messy handwriting. It wasn't a pleasant looking typography, but it was enough to understand it. There were some words that contained backwards letters, but it was a great improvement since last week. “I see you have some problems with certain letters, but you have improved a lot! I’m happy my teaching has somehow worked...”

Blinking, [Name] stares at the blonde in silence. It wasn’t a secret he always looked down on himself— he always felt weak when [Name] or whoever who came to defend him agaisnt the bullies. It was plastered all around his face— but [Name] thinks Armin is strong.

“You are smart.” [Name] begins, resting his head on the table, looking at the blonde without an expression. “I like you, Armin.”

The blue-eyed boy blinks in surprise before blushing a little by the bland statement. “I—I like you too, [Name]!”

Slightly lifting the tips of his lips, a smile barely noticeable, the amnesiac boy speaks, “I’m glad.” Straightening his posture, the boy looks expectantly at his friend, who blinks in return before snapping out of his thoughts.

“U—Uhm! I—I think we should get to reading!” He hands him a simple book for children, easy to read. His friend takes it and opens it before glazing at the words and begins his reading exercise.

Armin was... always curious about [Name]. The first thing that made him amazed and interested in him was back then when he first protected him— he actually fought similar like Mikasa. He had never seen him around before— he was confused at first. An unknown kid helping him instead of his best friend Eren.

But the most impressive thing was his eyes— they were nothing Armin had seen before. They were unique. The children around the neighborhood were pretty harsh on him for his eyes and his demeanor, telling him ‘freak’ and ‘weird’. But Armin could see his friend was unfazed by these comments— he was really strong.

[Name] was so calm and collected. His only weakness was his headaches and, maybe, Beatrice. The blond could see the incredible attachment his friend had with the nice woman— and Beatrice loved him dearly. Armin believed if something bad happened to the woman, [Name]’s calm behavior would broke in some way— it was pretty clear to him.

[Name] and Eren where obviously different, but not that much. Armin knew [Name] could be pretty brutal when fighting some times— like when the bullies had yet again stolen food from Armin, and when the amnesiac boy knew about this, Armin had never seen someone so scary. Basically, [Name] had made the bully throw up, and then made him eat it again. He only knew of this because Mikasa had told them about it, because when that happened, the bullies left Armin alone for some time.

Armin did like [Name] a lot. He enjoyed his time with him, reading for him, teaching how to write and read... it was different. He was glad Eren and [Name] had become good friends in the end, as Armin finally could keep company with both of them without the two killing each other that much.

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“And hear this! It says the ocean is made of saltwater!” The blonde excitedly speaks, showing the drawings to [Name]. “No merchant can finish all the salt it has!”

“Ocean...” [Name] blinks as he looks at the drawing. His fingers touch it gently, as if it’s a part of the sea. He’s silent without expression, worrying Armin.

“Is something wrong?”

The amnesiac boy doesn’t respond. There’s something familiar he can’t fully grasp— this ‘ocean’ is familiar to him in some way. But as he tries to remember anything, a shock passes trough all of his body at the same time images appear on his mind for seconds— but one particular burns: something blue as the sky.

He can even hear some type of bird, the ocean waves... but there’s a voice— a woman’s voice besides him, but he can’t see her face as his gaze in locked on the peaceful  sea. Then, her clear but unrecognizable voice says:

“The ocean is what keeps us apart from them.”

Blinking, the memory? disappear as he speaks without thinking, “I think I’ve seen it.”

Armin’s eyes widened in surprise, not believing what he’s hearing. “That’s impossible! The ocean is outside this walls! No one has ever seen it!”

[Name] doesn’t say anything— he’s sure it was a memory, even if it was clear for some seconds, it burns in his mind. He’s sure is real— the ocean, the sounds, her voice... It’s too real, like he was there with her.

He wants to tell Armin about it, but the boy remembers Beatrice had told him to not tell anybody about him being outside the walls. It could cause a lot of trouble for him or her, and obviously he didn’t want that. So he shuts his mouth and doesn’t say much.

“Yeah... I think I’m imagining things,” he dismissed the entire conversation, “let’s read some more.”

His blond friend looks like he wants to say something else, but the look [Name] is giving him shuts him down. It’s clear to Armin that [Name] doesn’t want to say anything else, and he obeys. The blond kid keeps on reading, sometime stealing some glances at his friend while [Name] tries his best to follow,. But the memory keeps his mind occupied, wondering about something the woman said to him...

“It keeps us apart from who, exactly...?”