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Hans Landa - Blog Posts
how were generals and commanders not mad horny all the time with all those buff men in armour kneeling before them with their big submissive eyes and promising to do anything they are ordered to under pain of death
The best scene in the movie and the best depiction of genuine fear by Christoph. I want to give him another Oscar just for good measure
if trying out a completely new art medium is what it takes to keep this ship alive…
I absolutely adore them
ah yes
the dichotomy
i’m not even close to being normal about him
AAAAAAAAA
AaaaaAAAAASAAAAAA
aaAAAAAAAA𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀AAAAAAAAAA𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝐀𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝑨𝘼𝘼𝘼𝘼𝘼𝘼𝘼𝘼𝘼𝘼Ä̴͎͓̠́̿͒A̸̝̠̟͐͛̕A̵͔̘̝͒̿́A̸͚̞͓̾̐̕A̸͚̪͕͊̈́A̵̻̫͉̽̈́͠A̴̙̟̼͆͝͠A̸̠̪̻̒͑̽Ä̸̡͓͇́̒͘A̵̡͍͍̾̀͆A͛͋͒A͒͒̓A͒̀̕A̿͝͝A͋̓͆A̐͑͝À͆̓A͑̽̽Á̚͠A͛͛͝
le epic
15 years ago today, inglourious basterds came out!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FAVORITE MOVIE!!
**JAIL.**
funniest thing on tumblr 2024 ok
YEEEEEEESSSSS. YEEEESSSSS.
exactly how it all proceeded in 29Cigarettes
definitely stole from eachother's popcorn at one point
Random IB HCs LESGOOOOO
- the reasons "inglourious basterds" is spelt like that, is because Aldo's southern ass didn't learn actual grammar and just carved it into his rifle based on the mouthfeel. (#iconic)
[ "Yep. That'll sure do"
"Sir that spells out basterds, are you sure th-"
"Utivich, get off my ass, will ya?" ]
- Hans likes blue cheese, and has one-time-or-another tricked Dieter (who fucking hates cheese) into eating it at a random German dinner event (Hellstrom's reaction is priceless, in Landa's words)
- Shoshanna's favorite movie is either L'Age D'or or Hôtel du Nord. Both were practically the first movies she ever watched. Ada showed them, and she used said films to practice projecting.
- Hirschberg can make a killer omelette.
- Aldo brews his own moonshine, for both the basterds to enjoy, AND to use as sterilizer for wounds and bodily damages.
- Wicki knows how to yodel. Did it once during a game of truth or date the basterds played while setting camp. Had a drink or two too much and just belted it out. The others have jokingly teased him for it ever since
- Frederick should fucKING KILL HIMSE-
memes i edited edited with picsart part ughhhhdddhhhhhhh
❀ Jelly Artstyle Hans Landa ❀
I NEED TO EAT HIM. NOW
would u cop 🔥🔥🔥
Silly little men doing silly little things 📽️
post movie shenanigans
Also, Tarantino confirmed Aldo becomes a movie star like Audie Murphy after the war, and that Hans solves a bunch of murders and becomes an amateur detective on Nantucket haha. I headcanon Aldo as Hans’ handler after as well
Chat is this real
HAMS LAMDA
I feel so sigma
I forgot I could traditionally draw so the freakobotomy is working (!!!!?!?!)
Hello Welcome to my Freaky Ted Talk
This is my silly AU idea for ppl interested ❄️⛄️
(My inspiration for some of this was the lovely AU created by tumblr user cigarette-room, I love the operation-paperclip mission concept sm.)
(And before starting, half of this was also created through discussions with my IRL friend, so I credit them anonymously)
- The concept is this: Four years after the events of Inglourious Basterds, Raine and Landa work together for a series of CIA missions in 1948 = hunting for soviet spies and nazi stragglers. So, one big mission (and the main setting) includes this = being stationed in a cabin in a Finnish forest, far far away from any form of familiarity whatsoever. Aldo thrives in the woods. Hans doesn’t. The biggest mental train wreck of 1948 ensues.
- Now, this whole thing takes place in the time span of six months, from nature vibe summer to freezing-as-fuck winter, and it’s kind of like if The Shining hosted two sickos beating/fucking the fuck out of each other.
- Aldo Raine’s threats to sanity are Landa’s manipulation tactics, his own cocaine-addled psyche, alcoholism, and his own past (ooh spooky). Landa’s threats to sanity is losing power, probably some weird pervitin addiction, and Aldo motherfuckin’ Raine.
- Basically the silly thing is putting a sociopathic narcissist and a hillbilly enforcing sadist together and watch them explode in a cabin in bumfuck nowhere Finland. There is no happy ending. One of them gets murdered by the other. The end.
[EDIT]
- As a result, I like referring to this as the Cabin Fever!AU so a lot of shit related to this self-indulgent silliness is dubbed under that
- I can go on about this for hours at a time but that’s the end of my yap thank you for listening 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅
- Pinterest board + Spotify playlist will be linked in next post
Got too silly and happy National Apple Strudel Day
School is over and I can resume my silly sketches 🗣️‼️
