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I Am Okay - Blog Posts
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i’ll never be a f1 driver, never be an actress from the 2000s, never be on the set of tvd, gossip girl and pll, never be a victoria secret angel in the 2000s, never be a teenager in the 2000s, never be a singer in the 2010, i’ll never be able to learn the whole history of the world, i’ll never be able to know all the secrets about space, i’ll never be a celebrity, i’ll never be an influencer in LA, i’ll never be a kpop idol, i’ll never be famous, i’ll never be able to know everything about the world, i’ll never know the impact i have in this world, i’ll never be able to experience teenage love, i’ll never be able to know what it’s like to sneak out with a friend group, i’ll never be able to experience life as i’ve fantasied.
i’ll never know anything outside of my corner of the earth, i’ll never be able to escape the never ending cycle that is life in this corner.
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I have to live with fomo from things i’ll never experience
fomo from seeing friends being friends
fomo from seeing people able to be themselves without shame
fomo from people not knowing what it’s like to overthink every movement
fomo from girls who don’t know what it’s like seeing ur skinnier friends being hit on while ur in the background
fomo from seeing just how much girls can do when they’re pretty and skinny
fomo from not being famous
fomo from having to experience life through others since i have none of my own
fear consumes me that i might end up being a mother who lives through her child. who ensures they experience everything I couldn’t while trying to experience it for her.
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i hate this chronic fomo i’m never able to shake off
what if what if what if what if
what if i chose my friends differently
what if i didn’t like this but instead that
what if i lost the weight earlier
what if i changed myself to fit in earlier
what if i just paid more attention
what if i just kept going
what if i end it all
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end the fomo, end the what ifs?
would they care?
would they cry?
would they say i was a kind soul?
would they say i could’ve achieved great things?
would they remember me in a year?
or would i end up like another trend that’s only relevant for a few months and everyone goes back to normal?
would people see my ghost in things that remind them of me?
would people wish they could hear one last joke? see one more smile?
would i relieve the burden of my family or add more?
would i finally be at peace?
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hear me out. two teenagers. they both are in love for the first time. with each other. their older sisters fight in the different sides of the same war. the sisters don't know the existence of their siblings' crush. the teenagers know what the other one's sister is doing. they know they will either betray their sister or their lover. they have to decide.
Olá de novo desculpa a falta de posts só estou um pouco ocupada com minha vida pessoal então acabei deixando de postar.:^)
✨English✨
Hello again, sorry for the lack of posts, I'm just a little busy with my personal life, so I stopped posting.:^). [sorry if something was strange, I don't know much English either ⊂(・﹏・⊂)]
✨ Español ✨
Hola de nuevo, perdón por la falta de publicaciones, estoy un poco ocupada con mi vida personal así que dejé de publicar.:^)
[Perdón si algo fue raro, yo tampoco sé mucho español ⊂(・﹏・⊂)]
