I Curse A Lot - Blog Posts

Heeyyy Death. You looking hella fine in that tattered, black robe man. No, no listen - I’m dead serious. Is that new? No? That makes sense, retro is making one helluva comeback. Anyway, how’s it hangin? Everything aight? Or...no, no okay - yeah, humans can be pretty bitchy. Speaking of hanging and bitchy people actually, I think you should eliminate some of those rude ass mofos, especially the unnaturally old ones. The issue is that they think they're so high and mighty, they feel like they can even defy Death. You gotta show them what's up. You are Death, with a motherfucking capital D. Ain't no ho, no matter how bitchy they are, can fuck with you. You gotta smack the shit out of these people and pry their overly long lives outta their wrinkly ass hands. And you're accomplishin everything at once. There are more resources, we can actually eat right without selling our kidneys, balance is restored. And most importantly, you get your revenge. You get to put your enemies in their graves, scare the shit outta people, and get your due respect, man. It's a perfect plan. You got this, you hear me. All you gotta do is grab your wicked scythe and smack one of those assholes in the face with it. It's a done deal. I got all the faith in you man, fuck's sake - you're Death. Aight? Good, hit me up when the first one's six feet under.

Humanity has found a way to live forever: Death is actually super insecure and every time he shows up to take a life they bully him for his fashion sense and tell him that nobody likes him. Now Death has lost his confidence and has completely stopped doing his job. The world is getting overpopulated and it’s a serious problem. You have been chosen to give Death a pep talk and help him in regaining his confidence so the world can be in balance once more.