I Love Angst - Blog Posts

A strange tcf fic idea that I will never write because I'm not too confident of my English skills

Imagine an alternative universe, where KRS wasn't cursed and somehow he meets KRS!cale and his family

So, we have two parallels

- KRS who was surrounded by love and grew up without any traumas (I'll name his KRS 1)

AND

- KRS who was cursed, the KRS that we know (and him KR!cale because he is in cale's body)

Imagine KRS!cale's family looking to a gentle and incredible smiling teenager and wondering what happened to KRS!cale (when they realize they're like "oh")

Imagine KRS!cale looking at this version of himself and blaming himself because he can't save his family like KRS 1 did, the reaction of his family discovering that the most part of cale's personality is because of his traumas.

(this is exactly the type of angst I love!! But a "happy' ending with his family comforting him and he overcoming his traumas a bit)

Just listen to me I'm not crazy-

Hanahaki AU Himiko would be ecstatic to have hanahaki

It's practically the embodiment of how she sees love – blood and flowers are so. fucking. cute.

Just imagine her over a dirty sink in an abandoned house which league currently occupies, lead here by a persistent itch in her throat, doubling over in a violent coughing fit. But then she opens her eyes – before her a single pink camellia in precious splatters of red, sharply contrasting the the pristine white of the tiles.

She lifts her head to look at her muddy reflection in the cracked mirror. She smiles. No, it's the crazed, manic, awed grin.

Himiko Toga, no doubt, is happy.

Alternately

StarBorn Sparklez (Thoughts and stuff)

So, I’m rewatching Jordan’s Stream and It gets to a part where Shubble and Scott mentions how if Jordan is thought to be missing by his people and family, surely they will go looking for him. But Jordan said “Well, They count on me to be self-sufficient and that their is a lot expected of me.” And one, the way he said that in character made me want to hold this man and another thing is that this must have been engraved into him as a kid or teen. The fact that he has to report back, that he has to be the one to look for them. And that they are not going to look for him. No one is going to look for him.  NOT EVEN HIS PARENTS ARE GOING TO LOOK FOR HIM.  This makes me just want to protect his man. Because by this logic they won’t know if his dead or what if he can’t report for a while and they declare him dead without even trying to find him.

 And god imagine if he reports back and his parents or higher up ridicule him and tell him that he should have been able to report faster with the training he has been put through. And that a good prince/soon to be king should be able to report back in no time or something.  (Clip: https://clips.twitch.tv/ProudCuriousAlfalfaTheTarFu-mR44duZW1NYRpJV_ )

I adore good angst. The messed up little guys are particularly wonderful in this comic series.

I really enjoy Narinder’s portrayal here.

Narinder's perspective!! :D

Finally, in the next comic we'll have Nari with the loyalty necklace >:D

I had a lot of ideas about Narinder living with other followers while he adjusts to the cult, but I'm also looking forward to going all out with Lamb and Nari with the necklace.

I warn you that the next comic may or may not start off a bit strong (Lamb is not mentally well).

(I apologize if something is unclear, I'm just starting to make comics and I don't know much English either)

A new assassination attempt on the king, and of course not without wounds.

Well, I really like that Julien is more worried about his lemurs than about himself

So imagine if Aizawa and Present Mic do manage to pull Oboro Shirakumo out of Kurogiri. He’s back, his memories, his personality, everything. Same old Oboro, the one they knew. But something isn’t right.

Because there’s still a part of him for whatever reason, a deeply ingrained part, that is fiercely, unshakably loyal to... Tomura Shigaraki.

Like, just imagine him saying, after all the effort, at some point... "Tomura Shigaraki must be protected. That is my goal."

And Aizawa and Mic tried to, like, get him out of it, they really did, but no matter how much they tried to talk him out of it, no matter how much they try to reason with him, his brain just... shuts off. Remember that scene of their first interrogation of Kurogiri? And his brain activity went blank. Yeah, that kind of shuts off.

Not like he’s ignoring them. Not like he’s upset. But completely, biologically off. No brain activity. Zero. For two hours, more or less. The number differs each time, and they just stopped trying.

They said, they really tried to tell him that "You’re not Kurogiri anymore", and suddenly, he’s gone. Like someone just flipped a switch.

And when he comes back? He has no idea what happened.

This isn’t just brainwashing. This is something worse.

This is rewiring. This is deep-rooted conditioning. This is proof that All For One knew this might happen. Maybe not to Oboro, maybe he didn't think that far, but to Kurogiri? Yes. And so when he was created, that was placed deep into his consciousness.

And that’s not even the worst part, because sometimes, Oboro wanders off at night.

Not sleepwalking. Not dreaming. Just... standing in the middle of the street, staring into nothing. And when they shake him awake?

He doesn’t remember leaving the house.

And sometimes, when they’re not listening, he says things that terrify them.

"Tomura Shigaraki... he was alone for so long" "No one held his hand" "He only ever knew destruction"

"I failed him once. I cannot fail again".

They saved him... but they didn’t break his chains. They can't, they tried. These chains stayed from Kurogiri to Oboro.

And worst of all?

Maybe some part of him doesn't even want to get rid of these chains.

Akitoya angst because I love angst (bad ending ending edition)

This will probably end up being a mini-fic because I am cool like that (gained inspiration listening to angsty music while showering)

Tw for De*th, vivid imagery of violence, guns, and uh…angst! Be warned~

(P.S I got a bit carried away, oops. Hope you enjoy nonetheless and uh…bring some tissues 😁 -Akito S.)

In this AU, Akito and Toya are in some sort of rural town. There has been news of an epidemic of people going “mad” after listening to a certain song, people who are affected known for lashing out at people. Accounts of those who witness it also say that it usually ends in a painful death. After it started, music is banned and anyone caught listening to music and singing ends up being executed or worse.

Akito had grown up from a family of musicians, him being famous for his busking performances. People often praised him for his instrumental skills and voice, having met Toya during one of his performances. One could say that music is what brought them together, sometimes the two of them planned out days where they play and sing together!

Things changed for the worse one fateful day, when Akito became one of the infected. He noticeably became more and more angry and violent, one close to him would know something was wrong. Toya was desperate, he didn’t want to see his partner in pain.

“Toya?” Akito asks him one day. It was well known that usually the last day of someone infected with such curse is seen acting normal for the last time. Both Akito and Toya knew. Toya’s heart dropped to his stomach when he realized.

“Yes, Akito?” Toya asks after a long pause. Akito, the one who usually wore a smile, the one who comforted Toya when he was down…looked sad. “I’m sorry it had to come to this” Akito says with a sad smile. Toya’s eyes widened once he took out a gun. “Please…”

Time seemed to slow as Toya stared at Akito in shock. “Akito…please…I can’t lose you…” The blue haired male begged, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. “I’m sorry for hiding this from you for so long…please don’t hate me” Akito says before what seemed like him showing him the gun. It took Toya a second to realize…”Akito…you’re insane! I can’t possibly-“ “Toya, I’m sorry I couldn’t say this earlier…”

Toya was left speechless for a few moments. “Say what Akito?” He asks the ginger, his eyes watering once more. “I love you, Toya. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner” Akito says. They both knew it wouldn’t be long before he would succumb fully to the curse. Toya stared at the gun offered to him. He knew this was a lose-lose situation.

“I…I love you too, Akito. I-“ Toya got cut off with a sob. He never cried in front of Akito, up until now. Hands shaking, he hesitantly grabbed the gun. Akito looked at Toya, unsure of what to say. He then said, “Maybe in the next life, we’ll meet again. Who knows?” Akito says with a smile.

“Akito, don’t say that! Surely there-“ Toya got cut off by Akito grabbing onto his shoulder. “Toya…I trust you. I always have and will. I’m sure you can say the same for me, and…you and I both know that this is the best thing to do” Akito then hugged Toya. He knew the hug was his way of saying farewell, Toya bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way. Farewell, Toya Aoyagi”

Up all Night (Akitoya fanfic in honor of my insomnia haha)

||heyyyy guys! I decided to say screw sleep, and I am now doing a fic instead! Is it going to be me projecting a little? Yeah, definitely. Based of a song? Yep! (Up all night - Straykids) I do hope y’all enjoy and if you’re going through something similar, just know you aren’t alone. Also, this one is a hurt with no comfort for my angst lovers out there ;)||

It was another restless night for Akito. With headphones in, playing the same song on loop, Toya sleeping beside him. The faint glow of the computer lit up the otherwise pitch black room. The faint sound of typing also filled the room with the occasional sound of a car zooming by.

Akito often found it extremely difficult to rest, even though his tired body begged for it. Perhaps it was the caffeine he consumes daily is the issue? Either way, all he thought about was to create. Create something, leave behind something to be remembered by. Something for someone, anyone, to be proud of. Akito continued to type, tired olive-green eyes glued to the computer screen on his lap. Hours passed, before he knew it, he reached 4 am. No sign of sleep. “Akito?” A voice called out, sleepy and concerned nevertheless. Akito, snapping out of his trance, looked at the source of the voice. It was Toya, looking at Akito with concern etched on his face. His face…so beautiful…so hand- “Akito?” He calls out again, causing Akito to snap out of his train of thought, responding gruffly with a “Hm?” “Why are you awake? I’m not mad, I’m just concerned…” The blue haired male asked his partner. “I…got carried away” Akito confesses. “Akito…” “Yeah, I know…I can’t sleep” Akito responds with a sigh. “I’ll go back to sleep” The ginger says, a part of him hating himself for lying to his lover. Toya thought nothing of it, going back to sleep. Akito ended up working the rest of the night.

“I need to sleep…”

k. ayato x gn!reader.

genre: angst.

Tw: reader’s death, regret, swearing, just Ayato being mean :(

my first time making a fanfic and write stuff so, enjoy!

also my grammar is a bit off.. so sorry about that.

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you loved him. you really do. But be as it may, it doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t have time for you. Today is the 3rd time this week you had asking him to atleast spends some time with you, but ofcourse, you had been back at this damned room, your shared room. “Ayato… please, honey you shouldn’t do this to yourself.. you’re hurting.” said you, so full of concern for his well-being. “I’ve said this countless time [name]. STOP BOTHERING ME.” woah, this is new, he has NEVER raise his voice at you, shocked at his reply, you get out of his office, broken hearted. “[name]…? i’ve heard everything.. im sorry..” Thoma says while pats your head, comfortingly. You could only stare at your hands, dumbfounded at your ‘soon to be husband’. You only wanted Ayato to talk about your recent sickness, you got cancer. “It’s alright, Thoma, really thank you for always being there for me” Thoma smiles down at you, “anytime.”.

your sickness got worse on these pass couple of weeks. you couldn’t walk anymore. Ayaka stood beside you, feeding you while her brother still doesn’t know about any of this, “[name], we should really tell about your condition to Ayato” face full of concern while fidgeting her dress. “Really, it’s okay Ayaka, he wanted some alone time” You reply to her statements half-heartedly. You can’t stand him anymore, all of his bullshits, you’re so tired of his childish silly actions. Tears threaten to fall from your eyes, all you wanted was him to finally lay beside you, sharing your sweet-nothings to eachothers, and maybe even go out on some little harmless dates, actually, when was the last time he had taken you to dates? you couldn’t remember. You felt as your body began to ache- so bad that you almost screamed. It hurts, physically and mentally, you’re not ready to leave this world, you haven’t fulfill your wishes yet. “[NAME]!!! WHATS WRONG?!?!” Ayaka, your best friend, your fiancè’s beloved sister. “Aya… please, don’t tell him about this.. AGH… it.. hurts..” Tears started to fall on her crystal blue eyes, it hits your face like a rock falling to the ground. “Shhh… don’t cry, its all going to be alright.., i want you to tell him how much i loved him..” you smiled at her, for the last time.

A week has passed after that incident, the estate has a depressing aura surrounding it, even the fatui near the estate are concerned about what happened. Fortunately(or rather… unfortunately), Ayato has begin to notice this, how when you hadn’t come up to his office to “bother him”, how everytime when Thoma sees him his face falls into a saddened one, and how..how he has suddenly felt… troubled..? why does his heart picked up when he’s near your shared room..? everyone in the estate is so.. depressed, as if someone has passed. He connected all the dots and… no. There’s no way. He refused to believe that. And there he came searching around the estate, looking, searching, YEARNING, for any traces you left behind. Hell, he even goes out to Inazuma city to ask about everyone if they have seen you, but all of that comes to a waste. No traces was found, he’s stressed. Had you gone to another island? or even region? why doesn’t you tell him anything? do you… hate him..? He grips his Sumi(a japannese calligraphy pen or some sorts), it almost break because of how much power he used. “Godammit [name]. Where could have you been..?” all of the regrets, its all coming to him, it feels like a burden behind his back, guilty. He hated the fact that he had yelled at you, when he swore on his life he would never yell at you. He asked one of the guards regarding your presence, but all of the guards said that they cannot tell him, its not that they want to, but its an order. From a certain someone, someone he cherishes, he loved, he worships. He’s getting enough of this, “Ayaka!” his smooth voice rangs around the estate, Ayaka, who was practicing her swordmanship rushes to her brothers office, “Yes brother?” she asks him while also being nervous. “Where is [name]?”

Tears streaming down his face. How could.. how could you..?!?! you left him. In this world behind, alone, well not really but he doesn’t care. Why hasn’t anyone told him about your passing?? once he opened the letter that you write from him before you’re gone, he’s so, so heart brokened.

—————————————

To my dearest, Ayato.

Hello, dear. It seems that Ayaka has given you this letter i wrote days, weeks, or even months prior. Yes, i’ve probably am already gone from this beautiful world, im sure you’ve probably felt guilty about it. Don’t worry, i’ve forgiven you, so don’t think about it that much… just.. be happy for me alright..? I love you.

Full of love, yours only.

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thanks for reading, this is so shit, im so sorry