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❄️ Snowball Fight

Prompt: ‘Snowball Fights’ 

Requested by: @livenerdyandprosper​

Pairing: Hawkeye Pierce x Gen!Neutral Reader

Triggers: None; just some shenanigans        Words: 1,068

M*A*S*H Taglist: @thatadroitgeek and @meganlpie

Note: For those who have maybe never seen MASH and are reading this anyway; yes, Frank really is this stupid in the show lol.

With a sharp intake of breath you left the post-op building immediatley being smacked with the cold air around you; small snowflakes continuously falling around you, adding to the piles of snow around camp. 

Getting to The Swamp, you flung open the door and quickly made your way inside, where you saw Hawkeye bundled up while writing a letter. Glancing up he smiled when he saw that it was you.

“Ah, if it isn’t my own personal heater” he greeted as you got closer to the stove to warm up. “I’m writing a letter to my dad, want me to say anything for you?”

“Yeah, ask him to send some sunshine.”

Hawkeye smiled as he finished his letter before setting it aside “Ready to go get some food, or whatever it is that’s in the mess tent?”

You nodded your head before turning to follow him out “How long until you go on duty?”

“In about an hour” he replied as he opened the door, both of you exiting while immediately retreating into your own coat collars to avoid the cold breeze.

As you began walking towards the mess-tent you stopped in your tracks when Frank came marching past, yelling at an orderly about something he was most likely doing right. You rolled your eyes as Hawkeye scoffed “With how much Frank shivers in the cold I’m surprise he can still talk” 

“Frank would march through a blizzard if it meant he could pull rank on someone” you muttered as Frank continued to chastise the corporal. 

“I think Frank needs to be put down a peg” Hawkeye muttered before glancing around, his eyes landing on a pile of snow by a tent. 

Walking over he made a large snowball before winking at you and then chucking the snowball as hard as he could at Frank; smacking him in the back of the head. As he yelled out in surprise, Hawkeye immediately feigned innocence by looking around confused, you immediately doing the same, knowing where he was going with this.

Frank turned and yelled “Hey!”

“That wasn’t me Frank, I’m pretty sure that came from over the hill!”

“Maybe some enemy soldiers’ guns froze up, now they gotta throw snowballs” you mused out loud.

Frank looked around panicked “Enemy soldiers? That would make sense, they’d do anything to get at us!” he rubbed the back of his head “I think there was something hard in that too! Do you think it was a bullet?”

“Oh I wouldn’t put it past them!” Hawkeye spoke with fake anger as Frank looked more panicked before running off towards Potters office.

You chuckled as you watched him sprint away as Hawkeye laughed “What a putz!” he looked back at you before he began to walk away.

Getting an idea, you quickly made up a snowball in your hand before throwing it; smacking Hawkeye in the upper back. He stopped in his tracks before turning back at you. You looked around in surprise “Wow, those guys sure have good arms!” you joked.

Hawkeye chuckle as he took a step towards you “Ah, so I see you have chosen war?” 

You chuckled nervously as you backed up “Maybe not.”

He quickly grabbed some snow, as you laughed, before dodging the snowball. Grabbing some snow you quickly turn around and chuck it at him. 

After a few minutes; you hear a laugh from nearby catching yours and Hawkeye’s attention; seeing BJ leaning against a post as he smiled that the two of you “Oh please, continue, I’m loving the show.”

You and Hawkeye shared a look before both of you turned and hurled snowballs at BJ. He yelled in surprise as he tried to dodge them; failing to do so as he stumbled to grab his own handful of snow. Turning he hurled a ball at you, striking you in the head, to which Hawkeye responded to by hitting BJ directly in the face with a loud “Ha!”

Rounding the corner, comes a stomping, pouting Frank who halted in his tracks upon seeing the snowball fight taking place. “Hey!” he yelled as he stomped towards you “I knew it! I knew the enemy wouldn’t throw snowballs!”

Hawkeye laughed “Then why did you go running to Potter to tell him so?” 

Frank grumbled before running over to a pile of snow “I’ll show you!” spinning around, he chucked a snowball, rather pathetically towards the three of you. As the snowball went past all of you, you watched as it smashed into the chest of Colonel Potter, who had just rounded the corner.

You all froze, trying not to laugh as Frank stared at Potter in horror. Radar standing next to him with his mouth agape. You watched as Potter looked down at the snow on the ground before turning, leaning down and grabbing some snow before turning and hurling it directly at Frank.

You all howled out in laughter as Frank fell on his butt in surprise as the white powder smashed into his face. He sputtered out nonsense as he looked at Potter “Colonel! There was a rock in there”

“Good!” Potter yelled before laughing along with all of you.

After your laughter died down, Potter spoke “So, who started this little war then?” Potter asked as he looked between all of you.

You pointed at Hawkeye, who pointed at you, BJ pointed at both of you. Potter nodded his head “Right. Thought it might have been” 

“Well, there’s enough cold going around, I don’t need three of my best people getting sick out here-”

“That’s nice of you to say Colonel” Frank broke in as he finally stood up from the ground.

Potter looked over at him “Ah, yeah, I suppose I couldn’t do without you either Burns” Frank hesitated as he stared at Potter, trying to figure out what he meant as Potter turned to the three of you again “Now, it’s colder than a well digger’s butt in January out here, let’s go get some coffee in the mess-tent.”

As you all began to walk to the mess-tent, Hawkeye slug his arm across your shoulders. Hearing a loud sneeze behind you, you all looked back at Frank who looked back up at you all “I think I’m getting a cold sir.”

Potter simply shook his head. as the rest of you chuckled, before you all turned and made your way into the mess-tent. 

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