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Lgief - Blog Posts
What If A Robotic Grump Takes Over H Instead??
Oh, so you’ve stumbled into the world of Eternal Night Star River-inspired aerial yoga, have you? Let me guess—you’re already rolling your eyes at the thought of flowy, ombré battle robes, aren’t you? Spare me your skepticism. You wouldn’t know genius if it smacked you in the face with a silk harness.
Yes, the participants are suspended in a dazzlingly white indoor space with proto-calligraphic scribbles on the floor. And yes, the harnesses are also ombré. What, did you expect beige mats and gym shorts? This isn’t your pedestrian yoga class where everyone’s draped in monotone mediocrity. This is art. It’s drama. It’s everything unthinking plebeians clearly lack the capacity to appreciate.
And don’t even get me started on the instructor. A mossy stone panda with a loudspeaker, you say? Oh, I can hear your incredulous snort from here. But tell me, genius, what were you expecting? A chatty human in a yoga tank top? Please. This is thematic immersion. The panda is iconic, unyielding, and probably wiser than you’ll ever be.
Then there are the assistants, dressed as oversized versions of the dust demons from the show—an absolute stroke of absurd brilliance! Are you squirming yet? Good! That’s the whole point, darling. They’re meant to unsettle you and make you laugh, to drag you into that deliciously awkward space where whimsy and discomfort collide. If you’re not feeling both, then clearly, you’re missing the entire performance. Do try to keep up, won’t you?
And for the love of all things celestial, stop sneering at the System’s motivational speeches. “You need not be a side character in your own story.” If that’s too cheesy for you, then maybe you are a side character. It’s not the System’s fault you lack the imagination to take the words to heart.
So go ahead, roll your eyes, scoff, and make your clever little quips. But deep down, you know this is brilliant, and you’re just mad you didn’t think of it first. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a transcendent universe to rewatch. Try not to ruin it for the rest of us with your pedestrian takes.
(With some human edits.)
:: The 100% human text version on the 100% human text site (except an instance demonstrating AI responses) ::
H Universe Awards 2024
Potential Lifesaver Award
Baby Reindeer [United Kingdom]
Care is not an invitation for possession. Self-hatred may get in the way of justice.
Most Meaningful Character
Squid Game Season 2's Player 120 Cho Hyun-ju [South Korea]
Discriminated people are more than their discriminated statuses and traits. Femininity does not lessen a person's capacity for toughness or leadership. We often don't fall neatly into one box or another conceived by society. So. Stop. Treating People. As. Little. Categorization. Games.
Hyun-ju cannot be mentioned without mention of the silver-haired mother, player 149 Jang Geum-ja. The ignorant elderly woman frowns upon gender transition yet she tenderly looks after the much taller and well-built Hyun-ju more than many trendy young people around you and I care about marginalized individuals in their midst.
Most Thought-Provoking Series
Hellbound / Hell Season 2 [South Korea]
Human hubris manifests not in defying divine forces, but in knowing that which you do not truly know.
Best Ending
Self-love-themed finale of Eternal Night Star River / Eye-Rolling Official English Title [Mainland China]
You're capable of tapping your full strengths to give important people in your life your all only if you are comfortable in your own skin. The other side of the coin, though, is Murder Mindfully. Ziqi's problem is not that he is a demon in the conventional sense of the term, but that the him beneath it all wrongly identifies as one.
Geekiest Series
Avatar: The Last Airbender [United States]
Diverse cultural elements and martial arts galore.
Best Aesthetics
Blossoms Shanghai / Luxuriant Blossoms [Mainland China and Hong Kong in relation to the cinematography]
Wong Kar-wai did not compromise for the small screen. The question is whether any scene is overdone. It's also a pity he could not get the color grading perfected in time for the CCTV broadcast. A "director color-graded version" with richer colors in at least various scenes was later released.
Best Music
What Comes After Love [South Korea and Japan in relation to the soundtrack]
What comes after that? Fragrance notes-like music that takes you places, of course.
Notes
There is plenty of online discussion revolving around acting, directing and writing, so awards in those areas are unnecessary. The acceptability of acting, moreover, is perhaps particularly vulnerable to cultural differences. Also subjective is the weights and combinations of factors that should go into the assignment of any Best Drama award. On a gut level, the drama that worked best for H this year is China's beautifully-shot sci-fi adventure series Tibetan Sea Flower / Adventure Behind The Bronze Door, but why should it be important to anyone reading this? Is it as thematically meaningful as various dramas above? Is its adrenaline-pumping, breathtaking directing and writing close enough to flawless, given its repetition of a certain trick and choosing to tell instead of show when unveiling the secrets to certain mysteries? How important is it for everyone to accept like H does that some choices can be justified by its place in a larger network of stories (the Lost Tomb franchise) apt for Easter egg hunts and jigsaw puzzle games? A more level-headed personal pick in any event would be any drama conferred the honor of Potential Lifesaver Award.
Beware of sampling errors that may contribute to the appraisal of shortlisted dramas. This unspecified shortlist, in turn, is subject to marketing prowess and social media reach.