Mdsz - Blog Posts

Yes! I agree LZ is not a soft lil meow meow that needs to be coddled by WY for not returning his feelings.

Wei Wuxian, Feminism and Autonomy

The title sounds way fancier than this is going to be. So sorry for that. But this is a thought I've had for a while not and i just got double-triggered. So I'm listening to this MDZS podcast that i really like while reading mdzs fan fiction. The podcast is "Podcasts are Forbidden in the Cloud Recesses" and the fan fiction is one of those cast watching the show ones. Which is one of my favorite genres for this specific media. So I'm having a good time. But then the podcasters make the same point the fan fic does as I'm reading it and it just really pissed me off? Thats the preface for this whole long-ass rant.

So Wei Wuxian in my opinion Wei Wuxian has all the worst parts of being a heroine grafted onto his character and no one seems to care. Like I know the fandom feminizes him a lot because the author does and its part of his character. But I'm talking about like how he is written and how we are supposed to engage with him as readers.

Ok so, i don't understand people who don't understand why Wei Ying doesn't know Wanji likes him. That's it that's the whole premise. Because here's the thing it is very common in media for girls to have to tolerate shitty men and look past their flaws to love them. Its commonly expected for female characters to either fix the guy or learn to look past his flaws or change themselves in some way. Its also really common in media for the problems of dating and protective sex and dealing with sex appeal to fall on teenage girls. They are the ones who should flirt less, they should dress more modestly, and they should date less to be more appealing. And I see this same mindset with Wei Ying in the Fandom and in the novel.

Lan Xichen and Nice guys

This idea came to me one day when I was rewatching the untamed and I got to the Gauyin temple scene. The one where Xichen goes on this long-ass speech about all the things Wanji has done for Wei Ying. I'm watching this scene and I think "is this how it goes in the book? Because if so this is really fucked up." I hadn't read the book in a while so I hopped online (this is before the official novelization) and re-read the last like thirty-ish chapters for fun. And it's actually worse in the book. The entire speech is how Wanji has sacrificed so much for Wei Ying and how he hasn't been grateful and hasn't noticed his brothers feelings. How long Wanji has pined for him and how he's too selfish to notice. And its just a really gross speech to me. Because it implies that Wanji is owed Wei Yings affection because he has done these things. That Wei Ying is a bad person for not noticing Wanjis feelings and returning them. But here's the thing, Wei Ying doesn't need to return shit. Like he should be thankful for Wanjis help, that's fine. Be he is not obligated to fall in love with him cause of it. And frankly, most of the kind things Wanji did either happened out of Wei Wuxians view or after he had died. And I realized that Xichen doesn't really care about Wei Ying? Like he see's him not as a person but as a thing that will make his brother happy. He only encourages their friendship because to makes Wanji happy He doesn't take Wei Yings feelings into account at all. The moment that friendship comes with heartache for Wanji Xichen stops supporting it and caring about Wei Ying. He calls Wei Ying Wanjis biggest mistake just cause he doesn't seem to like Wanji back despite how nice he's been. To Xichen them getting together is something that has to happen and if it doesn't its because Wei Ying is the problem for not liking him faster or as much. Which brings me to:

Wanjis Trauma is not Wei Wuxians Problem

I was inspired to actually get this down because of that double hit. So here's what happened I'm listening to the podcast and they just started talking about how sad and repressed Wanji is. How he hasn't learned to express himself or learn about sex and how sad that is. That WEi Ying is being the loud annoying little brat he always is. And Wanji, baby boy just can handle it. So he lashes out and is super rude and dismissive. But ohhh he's just so horny its not his fault! And at the same time in the fan fiction, they get to the scene where Wei Wuxian flirts for some free loquats and Wanji gets jealous and looks away. In the Fan fic they have older wei wuxian apologize for flirting because she should have known better? That pisses me off. Enough to make a long a tumblr rant. So much of the fandom assumes the responsibility of putting work into the relationship on Wei Wuxian. Of course, he should feel bad about flirting in front of Wanji. He's his future husband. Even though at this point Wanji as been nothing but cold, distant, authoritative and dismissive. Wei Ying has zero reason to believe he is jealous and even if he did;t that's not his problem! The idea that Wei Ying needs to learn to be less of a flirt fort eh sake of Wanji feeling comfortable is bullshit. Wei ying doesn't owe him a damn thing. Its just so common for people and the author to rush to defend Wanji was being repressed and unable to express himself. While Wei Ying is called selfish and thoughtless for not being willing to sympathize and make concessions for him. I understand that Wanji changes after the time skip. He realises that Wei Ying isn't obligated to like him or act a certain way. But at the same time he still doesn't full give Wei Ying full autonomy in their relationship in my opinion. Because he doesn't confess first. He's so afraid of rejection or Wei Wuxian liking him out of obligation that he decides to help him but not confess. He decides that if Wei Wuxian falls for him it should be by choice (I'm assuming, its actually really unclear to me). But first of all that doesn't happen! Xichen gives that stupid nice guy speech. and second, that's still fucked up. If he actually respected Wei Ying he would be upfront and tell him and deal with the fallout after that. Instead, he just helps wei ying out and while burying his feel feelings and hopes that is enough. How could Wei Ying not feel shitty after hearing that? I don't know. I just think it's reasonable for Wei Ying to be hesitant to like Wanji based on how he's been treated. It's true that both of them have issues with communication but those issues started with Wanji. He's the one who showed that he's so blindly rigged in his ways and refused to admit out loud how he felt to start with.

Side Bits

I completely forget the scene where Xichen tells his family back story to Wei Wuxian until just now. Thats so fucked up and manipulative coming from him. It's just meant to make Wei Wuxian feel bad for leaving Wanji and explain some of his behavior. No one pulls Wanji aside and explains that Wei ying spent years on the streets and then in a toxic household where the matriarch openly hated him. So he has low self-esteem and genuinely thinks his life is worth less than others. No one was like hey he's bubbly and loud because there's no other option for him. Like in the book the only people that advocate for Wey Ying are the Wens and Sometimes Yanli.

After Fenmiin and Madam Yu die they and the land Jiang Cheng gets so mad and sad he starts to choke Wei Wuxian to death. He stops and starts crying but that's so messed up. Like Wei Wuxian also closed a second pair of parentel figures just now but his body I still used as a means for a man to let out his sadness. Like he's still just a vessel for someone else's emotions. I think this actually happens a lot with Jiang Cheng. He has a habit of blowing up at Wei Ying in a way that is implied to be deserved or not that bad. But just doesn't feel great to me based on everything else I've written about.

Wei Wuxian is only able to clear his name and live a semi decent life because he gets with Wanji. Wei Wuxian success is not based off his talent or smarts alone, it is mostly based don't he fact that Wanij is willing to vouch for him and help hide him. Like I know part of it is Huasiang helping him but he would not have gotten far without Wanji helping him. Not only that but Xichen is only willing to help them even a little in their research because of his brother. And that's just a little annoying to me.

By the end of the story Wei Wuxian has no financial autonomy. Which isn't a big deal because this is ancient Chinese vampire times so as the "wife" he wouldn't have much anyway. But still not great.

Meng Yao and Wei Wuxians mothers and meng yao and Wei Wuxian are talked about in similar terms that are interesting. So both of them are "tainted" by specifically who their mothers are. Men Yao because his mother was a sex worker and Wei ying because his mother was known to be a highly wanted and playful woman. People both assume they are going to be exactly like heir parents and treat them as such. Which affects how they actually interact with people. MEng Yao knows he can't appear greedy or even like he's ambitious because he knows that as a son of a sex worker, everyone will think he's naturally greedy and manipulative. And he is those things. But they made him this way. he had to no choice but to be a sneaky asshole because the moment he showed any ambition it was either immediately squashed because of his status or people were like I know it. He is sued by his father in the same way his mother was. Wei Wuxian on there other hand has three people in his life who treat him a certain way because of his mother. Fengmain lets him get away with a lot and is openly affectionate to seemingly make of for his relationship with his parents. He doesn't spoil Wei Wuxian as much as he doesn't really expect anything of him? He just wants to see Wei Wuxian happy doing whatever he wants. He assumes Wei Wuxian is a wild and free spirit because his mother was and thats not fully true. On the other hand, Madam yu and Qiren treat Wuxian almost like a temptress. He's just a reflection of his moms wild, playful and seduction personality to them. They both think he's someone they have to actively control and suppress lest he get all the attention and make people behave inappropriately. Its that same notion I wrote about way earlier. How girls have to be the ones to control themselves and their appearances so as to not tempt the men folk with their ankles.

In Conclusion

Fuck the Patriarchy, Learn Necromancy.

Wei Wuxian, Feminism and Autonomy

The title sounds way fancier than this is going to be. So sorry for that. But this is a thought I've had for a while not and i just got double-triggered. So I'm listening to this MDZS podcast that i really like while reading mdzs fan fiction. The podcast is "Podcasts are Forbidden in the Cloud Recesses" and the fan fiction is one of those cast watching the show ones. Which is one of my favorite genres for this specific media. So I'm having a good time. But then the podcasters make the same point the fan fic does as I'm reading it and it just really pissed me off? Thats the preface for this whole long-ass rant.

So Wei Wuxian in my opinion Wei Wuxian has all the worst parts of being a heroine grafted onto his character and no one seems to care. Like I know the fandom feminizes him a lot because the author does and its part of his character. But I'm talking about like how he is written and how we are supposed to engage with him as readers.

Ok so, i don't understand people who don't understand why Wei Ying doesn't know Wanji likes him. That's it that's the whole premise. Because here's the thing it is very common in media for girls to have to tolerate shitty men and look past their flaws to love them. Its commonly expected for female characters to either fix the guy or learn to look past his flaws or change themselves in some way. Its also really common in media for the problems of dating and protective sex and dealing with sex appeal to fall on teenage girls. They are the ones who should flirt less, they should dress more modestly, and they should date less to be more appealing. And I see this same mindset with Wei Ying in the Fandom and in the novel.

Lan Xichen and Nice guys

This idea came to me one day when I was rewatching the untamed and I got to the Gauyin temple scene. The one where Xichen goes on this long-ass speech about all the things Wanji has done for Wei Ying. I'm watching this scene and I think "is this how it goes in the book? Because if so this is really fucked up." I hadn't read the book in a while so I hopped online (this is before the official novelization) and re-read the last like thirty-ish chapters for fun. And it's actually worse in the book. The entire speech is how Wanji has sacrificed so much for Wei Ying and how he hasn't been grateful and hasn't noticed his brothers feelings. How long Wanji has pined for him and how he's too selfish to notice. And its just a really gross speech to me. Because it implies that Wanji is owed Wei Yings affection because he has done these things. That Wei Ying is a bad person for not noticing Wanjis feelings and returning them. But here's the thing, Wei Ying doesn't need to return shit. Like he should be thankful for Wanjis help, that's fine. Be he is not obligated to fall in love with him cause of it. And frankly, most of the kind things Wanji did either happened out of Wei Wuxians view or after he had died. And I realized that Xichen doesn't really care about Wei Ying? Like he see's him not as a person but as a thing that will make his brother happy. He only encourages their friendship because to makes Wanji happy He doesn't take Wei Yings feelings into account at all. The moment that friendship comes with heartache for Wanji Xichen stops supporting it and caring about Wei Ying. He calls Wei Ying Wanjis biggest mistake just cause he doesn't seem to like Wanji back despite how nice he's been. To Xichen them getting together is something that has to happen and if it doesn't its because Wei Ying is the problem for not liking him faster or as much. Which brings me to:

Wanjis Trauma is not Wei Wuxians Problem

I was inspired to actually get this down because of that double hit. So here's what happened I'm listening to the podcast and they just started talking about how sad and repressed Wanji is. How he hasn't learned to express himself or learn about sex and how sad that is. That WEi Ying is being the loud annoying little brat he always is. And Wanji, baby boy just can handle it. So he lashes out and is super rude and dismissive. But ohhh he's just so horny its not his fault! And at the same time in the fan fiction, they get to the scene where Wei Wuxian flirts for some free loquats and Wanji gets jealous and looks away. In the Fan fic they have older wei wuxian apologize for flirting because she should have known better? That pisses me off. Enough to make a long a tumblr rant. So much of the fandom assumes the responsibility of putting work into the relationship on Wei Wuxian. Of course, he should feel bad about flirting in front of Wanji. He's his future husband. Even though at this point Wanji as been nothing but cold, distant, authoritative and dismissive. Wei Ying has zero reason to believe he is jealous and even if he did;t that's not his problem! The idea that Wei Ying needs to learn to be less of a flirt fort eh sake of Wanji feeling comfortable is bullshit. Wei ying doesn't owe him a damn thing. Its just so common for people and the author to rush to defend Wanji was being repressed and unable to express himself. While Wei Ying is called selfish and thoughtless for not being willing to sympathize and make concessions for him. I understand that Wanji changes after the time skip. He realises that Wei Ying isn't obligated to like him or act a certain way. But at the same time he still doesn't full give Wei Ying full autonomy in their relationship in my opinion. Because he doesn't confess first. He's so afraid of rejection or Wei Wuxian liking him out of obligation that he decides to help him but not confess. He decides that if Wei Wuxian falls for him it should be by choice (I'm assuming, its actually really unclear to me). But first of all that doesn't happen! Xichen gives that stupid nice guy speech. and second, that's still fucked up. If he actually respected Wei Ying he would be upfront and tell him and deal with the fallout after that. Instead, he just helps wei ying out and while burying his feel feelings and hopes that is enough. How could Wei Ying not feel shitty after hearing that? I don't know. I just think it's reasonable for Wei Ying to be hesitant to like Wanji based on how he's been treated. It's true that both of them have issues with communication but those issues started with Wanji. He's the one who showed that he's so blindly rigged in his ways and refused to admit out loud how he felt to start with.

Side Bits

I completely forget the scene where Xichen tells his family back story to Wei Wuxian until just now. Thats so fucked up and manipulative coming from him. It's just meant to make Wei Wuxian feel bad for leaving Wanji and explain some of his behavior. No one pulls Wanji aside and explains that Wei ying spent years on the streets and then in a toxic household where the matriarch openly hated him. So he has low self-esteem and genuinely thinks his life is worth less than others. No one was like hey he's bubbly and loud because there's no other option for him. Like in the book the only people that advocate for Wey Ying are the Wens and Sometimes Yanli.

After Fenmiin and Madam Yu die they and the land Jiang Cheng gets so mad and sad he starts to choke Wei Wuxian to death. He stops and starts crying but that's so messed up. Like Wei Wuxian also closed a second pair of parentel figures just now but his body I still used as a means for a man to let out his sadness. Like he's still just a vessel for someone else's emotions. I think this actually happens a lot with Jiang Cheng. He has a habit of blowing up at Wei Ying in a way that is implied to be deserved or not that bad. But just doesn't feel great to me based on everything else I've written about.

Wei Wuxian is only able to clear his name and live a semi decent life because he gets with Wanji. Wei Wuxian success is not based off his talent or smarts alone, it is mostly based don't he fact that Wanij is willing to vouch for him and help hide him. Like I know part of it is Huasiang helping him but he would not have gotten far without Wanji helping him. Not only that but Xichen is only willing to help them even a little in their research because of his brother. And that's just a little annoying to me.

By the end of the story Wei Wuxian has no financial autonomy. Which isn't a big deal because this is ancient Chinese vampire times so as the "wife" he wouldn't have much anyway. But still not great.

Meng Yao and Wei Wuxians mothers and meng yao and Wei Wuxian are talked about in similar terms that are interesting. So both of them are "tainted" by specifically who their mothers are. Men Yao because his mother was a sex worker and Wei ying because his mother was known to be a highly wanted and playful woman. People both assume they are going to be exactly like heir parents and treat them as such. Which affects how they actually interact with people. MEng Yao knows he can't appear greedy or even like he's ambitious because he knows that as a son of a sex worker, everyone will think he's naturally greedy and manipulative. And he is those things. But they made him this way. he had to no choice but to be a sneaky asshole because the moment he showed any ambition it was either immediately squashed because of his status or people were like I know it. He is sued by his father in the same way his mother was. Wei Wuxian on there other hand has three people in his life who treat him a certain way because of his mother. Fengmain lets him get away with a lot and is openly affectionate to seemingly make of for his relationship with his parents. He doesn't spoil Wei Wuxian as much as he doesn't really expect anything of him? He just wants to see Wei Wuxian happy doing whatever he wants. He assumes Wei Wuxian is a wild and free spirit because his mother was and thats not fully true. On the other hand, Madam yu and Qiren treat Wuxian almost like a temptress. He's just a reflection of his moms wild, playful and seduction personality to them. They both think he's someone they have to actively control and suppress lest he get all the attention and make people behave inappropriately. Its that same notion I wrote about way earlier. How girls have to be the ones to control themselves and their appearances so as to not tempt the men folk with their ankles.

In Conclusion

Fuck the Patriarchy, Learn Necromancy.

I’m watching the Untamed because I’m too lazy to read the book anymore

I’m sorry, some of the graphics are just so silly

insp by photographer Jihoon Yang, 2020 also on twt

little doodle for twitter lmao

insp by photographer Jihoon Yang, 2020 also on twt

uhhh wip monday I guess

tender 2.2 bc something was bothering me with the lighting on the last one

t-tender 🥺

" But it doesn’t hurt, and once Lan Wangji gets used to it, he actually doesn’t mind. It feels… exciting, maybe? It feels like half of a dance, an invitation to move with Wei Wuxian through unknown steps in order to make something beautiful together. Without really thinking about it, he tries to match the steps a bit, to take Wei Wuxian’s invitation, and—"

Art inspired (loosely) by A Curse of a Different Color by nickel710

No thought Wei Wuxian in homo sweatshirt

Where are you Honey?

Click for better quality

Text, extensive translators note, and general remarks with a bit of meta under the read more

Text id:

Where have you gone

I’m looking for you in the night*

This night like every night

I want to still believe you.

Embrace you this one time**

this absolute last time.

lightning strike me***

I’ll be moving on at dawn

****

But where are you hiding,

I’m looking for you when it’s too late.+

Tonight as a last hope I want to finally catch you

to tell you what’s on my chest now++

to tell you all my mistakes now

to tell you how much I’m scared now+++

to tell you how many tears I’ve shed

I’m begging you

come back to drink them. °

Here there’s everything to see

Here it’s daytime you know

you can have more than just the night.°°

You won’t ever regret if you come back to sit here

where no one knows better than me

how to look at you°°°

Translator's notes:

*night in the og text is actually 'dark'.

** I'm deliberately mistranslating here, in french "embracer" means to embrace and to kiss, but commonly it just means to kiss

*** god this gave me a tough time. French is "promis juré craché" which basically means cross my heart and hope to die. The literal translation would be "I promise, swear, spit on it" and there is a kind of gradation to it. You can say promis or promis juré by themselves. It's also a bit childlike to say the three, which I think fits well the song, someone making a desperate, almost pathetic bid to get their lover closer to them. I didn't find a good equivalent in English, and I didn't want to use "cross my heart" bc I feel like it brings up images of boy scouts. What I used is what I found to be a rough equivalent in mandarin to the french version and then retranslated to English do with that what you will.

**** I deleted a full verse! But I actually have a translation for it :

I once again got fooled,

by your sugar-coated words

and your half backed promises

lulling me to sleep too early

I'm looking for you in the night

where the stench of all this sham

ends up on the boulevards,

in our hopes and without coats.

I didn't really see a point in including it and it was just more words to illustrate, but I did like the whole sugar-coated words (words with water in french) and the literal "bastard promises" haha. Let Lan Wangji be angry and resentful in his grief 2k21.

+ Literally, it's "I'm looking for you in the too late". It is also grammatically incorrect in french but it's even more awkward in English. Also in french it's just "I'm searching for you" but I liked the "looking" motif bc I thought it paralleled well with "seeing you"/looking at you at the end

++ In french it's "to tell you what's on my heart" which is what inspired the art for this specific illustration

+++ as someone remarked in the tags scared and scarred are very close in English, sometimes stuff just works out.

° Still not satisfied with the English for this. The singer for this song actually said he didn't want the lyrics for his song written down officially because he plays on homonyms a lot. Here the word used in french both means to recount a story and to count numerically. And 'boire' (drink) much like 'croire' (believe) is kind of an odd choice to end a singing phrase with? It's not really pretty, and it feels very raw, it really annoyed me that I don't think the rawness of it comes through at all in English.

°° also really stretching the og text here. In french it's "coup d'un soir" meaning literally "one night hit" but it means one night stand. @/pumpkinpaix and @/hunxi-guilai (who you should follow bc the work they do is extremely helpful and god I imagine so time-consuming and draining) both wrote a long post about the translation of 知己 zhiji in English, which you should read but I think the main idea was "the one who understands me" would be an accurate enough translation. I was actually working on this before I found those posts but I like how "looking"/"seeing" someone in English can be used to convey understanding the person (you see me for who I really am, etc). Idk I'm just fond of how "to look at you" means both in the physical sense "I want to see you" and also, no one else will know you as I do.

°°° last TN but I missed "au grand jamais" from the original text. It's just a superlative, it kind means, like never ever in any time or world or something in that spirit. But I really like that the song ends by looking.

In the spirit of things I really wanted to say a few words about the translation ha. I think maybe the first thing that I kinda miss from the french is that eddy de pretto (the singer) has a very uh, crude? way to sing. He is known for being both from a lower-class background (in french I would say from the "cité" which wordreference translates to ghetto) and homosexual. A lot of it is french "argot", which basically means french slang, but it's very difficult to translate because my knowledge of english doesn't necessarily include that much slang, and also it just doesn't hit the same haha. A lot of words are contracted, "r'viens" "j'te cherche" etc, which carry a sense of urgency.

This is maybe turning into a Lan Wangji meta post but I think a lot (or used to) about how he had to have his character growth mostly of-screen, in the years where he had to reconcile being alive and raising a son. One of my interpretations is that Lan Wangji was probably more aware of his feelings in the first place, but when we meet him (post 13 or 16 years whatever), we meet someone who has come to terms completely about who he is as a person, what he feels etc. Like this is a man who probably has lived through some of his worst-case scenarios (his home got destroyed, the person he loved died in front of him). And I'm always thinking of what it is to try to grow and reconcile your teachings while raising a kid and mourning you know? I think that's why Honey (the song) resonated with me in that light when I listened to it, just like. God man's had a rough life.

Also, I wanted to say I'm misinterpreting the point of the song, in context Honey is. Kinda complex (there's nuance), but basically the singer is talking about his partner, who's at the time of the song sleeping with someone else. Personally, I think it's unclear if the person the singer is talking about is cheating on him or if they are just in an open relationship, but the singer overtly yearns for a deeper connection for that person.

Omg not me editing a post that's already too long for people to engage with but I forgot! what the whole point of doing a TN was! It's to show ppl how much gets lost or missed on purpose between two languages that are super close. And it's like, maybe 10 sentences! And yet I some stuff I genuinely could not translate correctly. And not only I am a native french speaker living in an English-speaking country but I've done like, actual translation before. It terrifies me sometimes to think how much is lost, and how much is added, in the translation process, which is rarely examined as even being relevant. (edit edit: it was pointed out to me that it is a very active field of research haha, I meant specifically in fandom spaces it's deffo being examined in academia)

[text : to tell you how many tears I've shed I'm begging you/ Come back to drink them. Here there's everything to see/ Here it's daytime you know/ you can have more than just the night. You won't ever regret/ if you come back to sit here / where no one knows better than me/ how to look/ at/ you.] Trans. of Honey by Eddy de Pretto

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

[Text: But where are you hiding, I'm looking for you when it's too late. Tonight as a last hope/ I want to finally catch you/ to tell you what's on my chest now/ to tell you all my mistakes now to tell you how much I'm scared now] Trans. of Honey by Eddy de Pretto

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

[text: Where have you gone / I'm looking for you in the night / This night like every night / I want to still believe you. Embrace you this one time / this absolute last time. lightning strike me/ I'll be moving on at dawn] Trans. of Honey by Eddy de Pretto

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

draft Wei Wuxian

these are numbered in the order in which I drew them not worst to best.