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Okay so, i have a DID associated question, however i think a little bit of context is necessary.
I assumed i was a singlet until around 1-2 ish years ago, when i met a boy who was a system. Having exposure to him and a past friendship with someone diagnosed with DID and remembering/learning of their experiences, i began to think about how i myself have had similar experiences to them. Since i met him and began to realize the possibility of my having DID, i tried to recall any times i wasn't myself, and in doing so, i would get horrible headaches. I chocked it up to me trying to remember repressed memories.
However, there are times while disassociating where i feel a creeping feeling of changing, and when i try to stop it, i get headaches. When i become consciously aware of this changing, or switching, i get a horrible headache, and when i do finally switch, i feel like im in the front passenger seat of a car, the car being my body and the driver being me, but not me. Is this common? Are these skull bashing headaches common?
Her blood is on my hands I don't remember what happened last night All I see is a foggy glow All I hear is a shriek.
Her blood is on my hands I feel a weight on my chest My eyes are flooding I can't stop crying
A stone cold wall is against my back I can see my writings on the walls I see blood on my hands Even if it's not there at all.
I feel so confused and crazed And I'm running into walls So the blood that's on my hands Isn't yours.
I can't hear you Everything's fuzzy I see in black I see in blue On my hands a scarlet hue.
I finally wake from my bed Sweating through my clothes I can't see you I can't see you lying there But there's still blood on my hands Then I see the bruises on my hands
Then I realize With tears in my eyes And a pain in my head That it's all mine.
⚠️ heads-up!
Hilo, this poem's a bit darker than my usual ones -it's a fictional/poetic expression of trauma. So, if it feels too much, pls stop reading and do something silly, like pretend you're a chicken 🐔 💛
So I’m not at all qualified to make any sweeping claims about DID or any disorders since I’m not professionally trained nor do I know the full intricacies of what causes dissociative disorders but like
Disclaimer aside, it’s the weirdest fucking feeling to find out that someone who had an inappropriate relationship with you and who hurt you in very personal ways is now claiming to have DID.
like I knew you for four years and now that you’re away from me you’re setting up a persona online of this cool edgy emo man with DID? I saw you in your darkest moments and it was still YOU. What the hell
does anyone have any tips to help cope or understand why people do this?