Natasha Romanoff X Gn!reader - Blog Posts

Angsty fic w nat? When we were young by adele is the plot tho 😏

when we were young

a/n: this is the first time i've written angst with no happy ending so enjoy😭

warnings: angst (no happy ending)

pairing: natasha romanoff x reader

summary: after a year of be ignored and shut out, the reader decides its time to leave nat, no matter how much it hurts

translations: detka=baby

words: 1.2k | natasha x reader masterlist | navigation post

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated and welcomed <3

You woke up to an empty bed, again. You weren’t surprised, you had woken up to an empty bed every day for the past year. Nat was too busy working, hoping, searching for a solution, a way to bring everybody back. After the blip occurred, Nat turned cold, towards everyone. The redhead stays at her desk day and night, she barely paid you any attention. You had told her time and time again that she couldn't fix every problem on the face of the Earth. She refused to listen.

It hurt seeing Nat turn into a shell of her former self and you often found yourself reminiscing on old memories. You two used to go on adventures, you wanted to show her all your favorite places. You took her to amusement parks, beaches, and to your favorite parks. You used to have movie nights at least once a week, you showed her all your favorites and she showed you hers.

You missed her. You missed her raspy morning voice saying she loved you, how she would gently rub circles on your back when you were feeling overwhelmed, how she would throw her head back laughing at all your jokes.

But that Natasha was long gone. That Natasha was replaced by one who never said more than three words to you, one who never leaves the compound, one that no longer laughed at anything.

“Natasha,” you said more sternly than usual. The redhead didn’t even acknowledge you, she just kept typing. “Natasha!” You yelled this time. The redhead looked up at you with zero expression in her eyes. “You know it’s not your fault right? The blip. It’s not your fault.” You said for the millionth time this year. The redhead just sighed and went back to typing on her computer.

For the past year, you had been giving her space, reassurance, anything she could possibly need. But she just didn’t seem to care. You loved her so much, more than anything or anyone, but staying here with her was destroying you.

With tears in your eyes, you stormed out of the room and retreated back into your bedroom, you didn’t think you could even call it you and Nat’s bedroom anymore.

You looked around the room, the one filled with pictures. Ones from all your adventures. Ones from when you two were both younger when the world wasn’t in chaos.

You missed the simple days, the ones before aliens invaded New York. The ones before killer robots made a city fly. You missed just being able to hang out with Nat when you two could do what you wanted when you wanted to.

When you were younger things were easier, but now, nothing was easy.

-

Months passed and nothing changed. Nat just sat and stared at her computer, getting more and more distant every day. You were lucky if she spoke to you once a week nowadays. You yearned for her, all you wanted was to feel her touch again or to hear her beautiful voice.

You knew the good days were over. You knew Nat would never move on from this, not unless she miraculously found a way to reverse the blip.

You wished you could live in the photos in your bedroom. The photos of you and Nat laughing so hard that you could barely breathe. The ones where you two-starred lovingly into each others eyes. But you couldn’t, as much as you wished you could, you couldn’t live in photographs.

For months now you had entertained the thought of leaving the compound, of leaving Natasha. Every time you thought about it, the guilt of leaving Nat ate you alive. You couldn’t leave her, not when she was like this.

But you also couldn’t stay, not anymore. Staying was killing you. Loving her when she showed no sign that she loved you was destroying you. So as much as it hurt, you knew you had to leave.

You packed your things from around the compound without Nat even noticing. She was too busy working to notice you were taking all your things. You could have just walked out the front door without her noticing if you wanted to. But you thought you at least owed her a goodbye and you hoped she would give you some closure.

“Natasha,” you said in an attempt to grab her attention. She didn’t even look up, “Natasha I’m leaving.” No response. “Natasha I’m leaving and I’m not coming back this time.” The redhead immediately looked up at you, “What?”

“I can’t sit here and be a ghost in my own house anymore Natasha.” The redhead stared at you puzzled, “I don’t-”

“You have been ignoring my existence for over a year now! You don’t talk to me, you don’t come to bed, you don’t ever leave that damn computer!” You yelled, trying to hold back tears, you couldn’t let her see you cry, not now. “Y/N I’m sorry I just-”

“Look I know you have a lot going on right now and I know you have a lot on your plate, but you don’t make time for me anymore and it’s exhausting loving someone who clearly doesn’t care about you,” the tears started flowing down your face, over a year of emotions exploding out.

“I do love you, I love you so much, Y/N you hold me together,” Natasha said as tears formed in her eyes. “See, saying that you love me and showing me you love me are two different things.”

Natasha let out a sob, she didn’t want to be left alone. “Please don’t go, I’ll be better, I promise.”

“I can’t stay anymore, I want to believe you, but I’m tired Nat,” you said through your sobs. You advanced toward the door and for the first time in a long long while Natasha got up from her desk and ran toward you. The redhead hugged you from behind, “I can’t do this without you.”

“Natasha, please,” you cried as you melted into her touch. God, you missed her hugs. “I miss the way things were when we were younger, what happened to the adventures, the laughs, the spontaneous dates,” you spilled out, her hugs always made you open up.

“I miss that too,” Nat sobbed out, almost collapsing to the floor.

The two of you stood in silence, Natasha still gripping onto you tightly. You both stood and appreciated what was what you both knew was the last time you would ever touch one another.

“Nat I need to go,” you said in a barely audible whisper. “I know,” Nat said, equally as quiet. The redhead slowly released her grip on you.

You opened the door and took a deep breath, “Goodbye Natasha.” You closed the door before you could hear her say anything in response. Immediately, you fell to the ground sobbing, Natasha was your soulmate, your other half. Leaving her hurt you more than any wound you have ever had.

You thought one day you two would get married, settle down, get some of the life Steve was always telling you to get. But that wasn’t you and Nat’s story, not in this lifetime at least.

Maybe in another lifetime Nat.