Personal Poetry - Blog Posts

my writing from when I was tripping acid on halloween. it's not much, but most of my trip was just smiling and listening to Electric Guest

Goodbyes

My parents told me when I moved out That this city is gonna kill me But I never listen to the ones that know better And I ran away with my sweater and a temper

I learned to live with smoky rooms and cheap perfume And the life left my eyes young and too soon I started spinning out at the steering wheel On your arm and around my head With whispers telling me I’m better off dead

I took lessons off the streets to these four walls I took your love for granted, but I took more than that And I started dipping my wrist but forgot to mention That there were never any bad intentions From the start but my insanity Got the best of me

Think I might have had one too many potions Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jack Ass took another shot at me But I blame myself for these crooked impulses

I wish instead of spitting this rhyme I could travel back in time I wish I could hold you one last time Kiss you again, stare into those deep, brown eyes

It’s clear that something’s gotta give But I’ll give everything to replace what I took And my last words to you just so you know I’ll always love you more than anything, and it’s clear I have to go

Written Feb. 16 2015

Maybe I’m insane Maybe I’m a child set in stone Maybe I’m broken deep down to my bones With shattered words left unspoken When you won’t let me speak With all this stress I turn to tweak But, really, I don’t when you last said Neither of us can geek, so I would rather be dead Than pick that up, I will when I’m dead As much as I feel that way now I can’t let any more bad news bring me down When I’m already at the verge of ending it all I just keep breathing, I just keep swimming, push through the withdraws Even if they’re not as intense There’s nothing in me anymore that can make me dance Make me sing, make me write something worth more Than this shit, but why give the condemned any remorse?

Midnight Green

Feeling loose watching you seduce Covering fifty shades of green as my eyes drift off-screen Off the air as I slip into a dream scape. Escaping from the person I once met I once knew you in a different light The moon was first shining so bright in the middle of the night Reflecting over the still lake hiding our skeletons in the deep Cause we flood empty lakes with dead bodies and tweaks And twerps that hate from the other side of the street

Our friends all sit by the handmade bonfire While you play me like static on a wire Static on the TV, watch and see Me rising up and then tumbling down Well, that’s part of the process Just don’t ask me questions I can’t possibly confess Because you know the answer so why make me the weasel Of this reality that feels so surreal, it’s too much evil You’re asking me to spill. I know you’re smarter than you appear And I’m waiting for your skeletons to tell me your biggest fear While I lie in front of many with my hand full of drink As my mind begins to stretch and shrink Telling me you know what’s for the best When you struggle on your own and I’m struggling Watch you count your stacks, start hustling Because we’re all in the same game, but on different levels Dealing with the same Hell but different devils

Friendly Fire

It’s running on three o’clock and I’m running out of gas While you finish your run getting fresh grass Let’s heat it up this time Burn that fucker while I spit this rhyme Spilling lines in my black and blue book Next to you while I watch that green cook Split it, rip it, pass it, zip it up then sell that shit There’s just one confession I must admit I’ve got a home in the dark and a boy that sparks My love like a bonfire heart Watch us tear this world apart Our generation was doomed from the start And none of that matters because the family here that can inspire A love that will spread like wildfire Weaving through the tangled trees That makes stained lungs cough and your breath heave Inhaling in the seductive air Without any worries, without a single care Because I’ve got my best man by my side With sweet, salty breeze coming from outside And I’ve got my friends that I call my family to keep me cozy inside We’ll watch the sun set and rise in the same sitting There’s no way this is the life to think about quitting In fact, to this special one, I’d rather be committing My soul to the man of my dreams Because when I look in his eyes I see the sun gleam Down on my heart while this bonfire love starts And pass that blunt you roll like it’s a fine art

Rusty Blinds

It’s understandable, you see I broke your trust in me When we first met, engaged were we But now I guess is your chance to get back at me You chose to hide, you lied The trust is dust The life I live has turned to rust

Maybe I just drove you crazy Drive myself right off the bridge Off the grid to render my sins Just do not ask the price I pay I must live with my quiet rage The silence screams of tortured tongues Careful to open with words too heavily broken I chase the wind in hopes to find The ghosts creeping all through my mind That run wild and wish me dead Will I ever get out of my head?

Night

When it's time to sleep, the midnight seekers come out to play Keep the fire, boys with tired eyes get thrown in the ashtray I've got Tina tinkering and tweaking on the couch to my right With her vacant eyes, and yet, such delight So tell me what the media says to that Or you can take a chance to see where it’s really at Airbrushed magazines at gasoline pumps romanticize And fantasize anything for a knock-out story, I know

All I’ve heard for the past seven hours Is constant conversation with sharp fixation Of useless information about certain creation Like the concept of time while I scribble this rhyme Over the doors of perception I will forever climb Because society is wrong and reality is yours for the taking And making an experience So here’s some coherence I know you’ve been so curious about

These are regular people And the least bit of evil So smart, it’s an art Craving knowledge all the way back from the start Who analyze all the fine print In still bodies with mouths that sprint

Lights and Sounds

Feeling amped Let's take it back to camp I'll show you what's it's all about Hip bones jutting out Don't forget to scream and shout About it. Don't you know how I feel Because this is reality but it's not real You know I'm a big deal One day I'll go far See my name in lights like a shining star It's wearing off, I'm wearing thin Let's just hope I keep my real skin

Feels

It’s hard knowing what to feel Because nothing ever seems real But this sinking feeling Held up by a thin string That’s roped around my neck so tight When all I want is to pack up and take flight Down South for the winter This cold is too bitter

I’d rather see myself in golden California Smoking a cigarette filled with marijuana But that’s what got me in this mess So it’s time to put this to the test Just don’t ask the price I paid I must live with my quiet rage With standards so low, my day was just made Saved a bee drowning in my drink I want to fly but all I do is sink You can’t sting my flesh You’re kind of pain would leave me feeling refreshed

To think where I’d be without love Even when I always think I’m not enough Things aren’t perfect, but you’ve put me in limbo It’s better than hell, better than suicide, so Where do we go from here? I’m spilling lines that aren’t ever clear.

Born in fire Son of the sun Son of a God shining brighter than the stars But you’re the only star I see Burning holes in my eyes Heating my insides I just can’t seem to Keep cool around you.

A ghost of smokey souls Let’s mix and melt in your pool Boiling at my frosty heart Crystal fleeting from my veins And tinder sparks for our bonfire hearts Let’s set this love ablaze

Spilling Lines

You don't understand, but you should. You're silent, but I need to hear your screams Over mine Calling and stalling while you hold your breath You don't feel it. Feeling static like a ball with no kicker Or a clock with no ticker Spilling lines, feeling down all the time Up your dosage, up your chances Of making me sick to see your face You don't understand, but you should Understand that you're sucking the energy right out of my hands From my grasp you hide the tethered emotions. Notions that someday soon things will come to an end.

Fun hangz by the fire. I sit in wonder, feeling like some warped wire. Eyes stare back at me across the room. All along every curve and tangle in the wallpaper you so purposefully placed. Mixed feelings follow the sad blues and vibrant hues. It’s laced. It’s poison seeps in all too conscious in its stream All the while my eyes glazed and gleam. I’ve lost that part of me that had any sort of control Once the flowers start to dance and notice the picture as a whole We become more self aware to the fun house mirror of a life While the fire reflects something distant in the strife When we contemplate the right and wrong and the depth of the universe This is the new generation, and we decide things and our bodies cursed Sweeps and scraps across the night to cleanse our soul slowly The brush burns, it twists and turns into more than unholy.

Sometimes I wonder if you speak my tongue, and who really rubs mine right.

Sleep

When i lie upon the grassy ground,

Lay flowers down beside me.

All of my favourites, brightly coloured,

Just like i failed to be.

Cover me with a soft blanket of soil,

Send me to sleep, back to our mother.

I will hold those flowers near, and use them as inspiration.

For after you water me with your tears,

Full of the nutrients my life lacked.

They will help me to truly flower,

Into new life, after i dont come back.