POCKET SIZED HUSBANDS - Blog Posts

FUNKO POP —

— pocket-sized shenanigans.

▶ characters: various genshin boys.

▷ warnings: none. this is humor with hints of fluff, please don't take it seriously.

i. you offer to carry him on your cupped hands. what will he do?

◤ nuzzles into your palms. would probably hug one of your fingers, too; ⊿

venti, aether, razor, bennett (nearly falls off if not for holding onto your pinky), thoma.

◤ sprawls on them and winks at you like the microscopic flirt he is; ⊿

kaeya, itto, childe, venti, xingqiu, kazuha.

◤ very reluctant, but “since it's you, i'll allow it." (he's entrusted you with his heart, and now, his tiny body) just sits or stands in the middle with his arms crossed; ⊿

xiao, diluc, dainsleif.

◤ will bite your fingers with zero hesitation. if he actually likes you, he'll still threaten to electrify your hands if you drop him; ⊿

scaramouche.

◤ sniffs your hand out of curiosity; ⊿

gorou, razor (why).

◤ bites your fingers out of curiosity; ⊿

razor (double why).

◤ flustered to be in close proximity with you—asks if you're okay with it first; ⊿

chongyun, thoma, bennett, aether.

◤ indifferent, doesn't flinch when you pick him up because he's going on and on about some historical fact again. mans doesn't even notice the change of surroundings; ⊿

zhongli.

◤ busying himself with trying to find a cure. you can hold him while he's on break, though. otherwise, he's on your shoulder giving you orders on how to work around his lab; ⊿

albedo.

ii. where does he prefer to sit while you move around?

◤ at the very top of your head; ⊿

scaramouche (he wants to feel tall), gorou (claims he wants to spot enemies from afar but he also wants to feel tall + likes climbing mountains), zhongli, aether, thoma (they enjoy the view, wants to see how you see the world), kazuha ("as one with wind and cloud!" i mean go off i guess), xingqiu ("it's a great place to read. less turbulence than being on your shoulders and better lighting than in your pocket." okay, nerd), xiao (but only when there aren't other people around), itto (“arataki 'king of the mountains' itto!” translation: he feels insecure now that he's tiny, let him live), bennett (wants to know how it feels to be on top of a giant, essentially).

◤ on one of your shoulders; ⊿

albedo, zhongli (closest to your ears and mouth. he enjoys hearing and seeing you talk), scaramouche (closest to your ears so he can bark out commands and bark at other people who try to get your attention but we don't talk about that), chongyun (he can go closer to your neck to shade himself from the sun. yes, he's in it for the coverage), kaeya, childe (easier access to tease as they blow on your ears and/or neck), venti (like how he did as a wisp with the nameless bard, or just imagine you as his statue near the cathedral).

◤ in your front pocket, and front pocket only; ⊿

diluc, dainsleif, albedo, xiao (comfortable + no one bothers him since they don't usually know he's there + if it's near your heart, they like being close enough to listen to it beat), venti (“it's warm in there! reminds me of your hugs, ehe.”), razor, bennett, gorou (they take naps).

▶ notes: this,,, isn't as entertaining as i thought it'd be. it's so cringy help,,, the formatting is also all over the place,,, if it's straining to the eyes, please let me know!

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