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As an ex-Catholic:
fuck it we spout heresy
*reblogs*
as much as the concept of Jesus being a fairly normal lad has its charms, im personally very intrigued by the idea of him being just… extremely weird. not even in a mystical sense, just…….staggeringly BIZZARRE.
you go to the well to get some water, and here’s Miriam’s boy, staring at the sky, completely still. his expression is unreadable. you hazard a hello and ask how he’s doing, and he slowly, unblinkingly, lowers his gaze on you (he’s 8 and is missing his frontal teeth, not that this is making you any less uncomfortable) and says “I cannot speak of the state of my being, Nathan son of Saul, my brother, but rejoice for the water you shall take today will be as pure as the soul of the children of Heaven”
…you start sweating
*Achoo!* "Uri-" *choo!* "Uriel!" *Sniffle*
"Yes (Choo!) my Lord?" Uriel replied, appearing in a puff of smoke.
"Call off *Aaah-* that Me damned *CHOO!* storm at that *muffled sneeze* atheist convention!"
"Thy will (achoo) be done." Uriel bowed.
God sank into his celestial throne with a heavenly sigh of relief.
It is often said that uttering the Lord’s Name in vain is forbidden because it is blasphemy. No, the truth is far more mundane and hilarious than that: Every time His name is uttered in vain, the Lord sneezes.