Sakusa Fic - Blog Posts

for @tsukkiangel ’s this magic moment collab

it’s the drive to his game alone that makes sakusa realize that he’s grown dependent on your company. the silence through his journey to the stadium, the lack of your voice singing along to the music you blare in the background, the absence of your fingers fiddling with the loose curls at the base of his neck, they’ve grown a part of him, and now it feels missing.

he’s restless when he has to start his game without a kiss from you sending him off, and by the third service ace he scores and doesn’t see you cheering when he turns to your usual seat, his heart is aching painfully in his chest, and he needs you to know he’s sorry. he figures you’re watching the game from home, that he’ll see you in a bit and he can make up for the argument then, but he still can’t focus.

and when the msby jackals lose their first game of the season, sakusa can’t help but shoulder the blame himself.

he drags himself through your front door, plopping down on your couch with his face in his hands, hunched over with both elbows resting on his thighs. it’s silent, and he knows he doesn’t deserve it—to be here in your home after how he acted, but he craves the catharsis your touch provides him, the warmth of your skin against his and the sweetness of your words as you whisper them against his forehead.

but sakusa figures he’s never deserved them in the first place, and he’s proved that last night. you’re bound to leave him behind by now.

but he’s pulled out of his thoughts when a hand is laid gently on his shoulders, a weight sinking down beside him as an arm wraps tightly around his waist, pulling him into a warm embrace.

“i saw the game, omi,” you whisper. “it’s okay, baby. sometimes you just can’t win them all. don’t let it get to you,” you mumble into his hair, and sakusa’s breath hitches, the curve of his lips exchanging the frown for a slight wobble, his fist clutching your shirt.

“i messed up,” he whispers, and his voice cracks in the middle. and he thinks the hole in his heart is nothing compared the gap your absence would leave him—he realizes he’ll miss the tiniest of things.

the way you shake your hands over the sink three times before moving to wipe them on a towel, the way you twist his doorknob even after he checks if he’s locked it before you both leave—just to double check as you always say, the way you carefully set up the pillows on your bed to lay how you want. they’re all habits he’s watched plenty of times, and they’re mundane to anyone else, but they’re precious to him.

you’re precious to him.

“omi, it’s one game, baby. and it wasn’t just you—”

“no, last night,” he interrupts. his chin is propped on your chest as he looks up at you, eyes wide and slightly panicked—and just the slightest bit broken if you look deeper. “i…i messed up last night. i’m sorry. please…please don’t leave,” he croaks.

sakusa realizes the little crinkle of your nose when you smile at him is enough to turn his coldest days warm. he leans closer into you, cheek pressed against your chest as you hum.

“it’s just one fight, they’re bound to happen. i know you didn’t mean it,” you murmur. “i’m right here, aren’t i?”

glancing up, he crinkles his eyebrows. “you’re not mad?”

“i am, kiyoomi,” you glance down at him, booping his nose, and it’s his turn to crinkle his. “i’m still quite mad, but you need me right now. we’ll figure out last night later.”

oh.

sakusa realizes for the first time that he’s encompassed by a feeling so raw, so inexplicably and undeniably light, it makes him forget for a moment the despair of just a moment ago. he smiles into your chest.

he doesn’t hesitate a seconds longer to mumble “i love you.” and you pause, your fingers that thread through his hair coming to a halt as you process his words. he feels you press soft kisses along his forehead, taking extra care to gently kiss each mole at the end, like they’re something precious of their own in your heart too.

and that’s what love his, he realizes, finding the raw beauty in the tiniest, mundane things, looking past the large flaws for the little blessings in between. and it takes him the softness you still gift him despite the jaggedness he shows, but he knows this feeling is nothing but love, and he knows even past his jagged edges, you soften him up because you love him too.

and you prove it when you whisper “i love you too, omi.”