Scarfwere - Blog Posts

Stefan-y!

                 ‟    𝘿𝙤 𝙄 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ?     ❜            ... you’re  dead  to  him. 

                          ⇢   (ง •̀_•́)ง   &&. ACC.    /    @scarfwere

░  ┊   @scarfwere​​  。• ◞

nonchalant compliance, he figured was as good as anything. It was still different from a flat out rejection. He’d had plenty of those. And even through the obvious indifference in the other boy, Isaac found an excuse to smile. To cound this moment, however small, as one of the rare wins he could have in the year. He was right after all ─ new kids didn’t last very long here. And if he was smart, it would be better to cut his losses now and move on.

Obviously, he wasn’t.

He figured, it would be some nice change, at the least. To know there was one other person at school that didn’t mind if he sat beside them or not.

Fingers combed through his curly hair; trying to unravel the right words to make what he thinks make sense without it being creepy. Maybe Stefan would understand. Maybe even he felt it too. That knowing feeling of standing in front of the same mirror reflecting the same thing. But he bit his tongue and swallowed it.

Shrugging instead.

          “ Dunno. Maybe I just like you. “

Even after he said it, he wasn’t sure if that was worse or better. But at least it was slightly true.

  𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗦  thrown  out  and  about ,   strung  with  indifference  towards  the  creeping  anxiety  that  slides  upwards  within  stefan’s  chest ;   one  step  closer  to  choking  him  from  the  confusion  and  fear  muddled  in  the  back  of  his  throat.    ‘ maybe ’   pertains  to  uncertainty ,   one  he  hates  and  accustomed  to ,   while   ' like ’   associates  with  the  blooms  ‘pon  cheek  and  wrath  faced  in  weeks.

    obviously,  this  is  going  to  be  a   𝗕𝗔𝗗 𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗔 .

          ‟     ͏𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁.      ❜      straightforward  without  eyes  looking  straight  forward ,   body  tensing  uncontrollably  as  he  crosses  his  arms;   his  figure  as  if  embracing  himself  from  an  unexpected  hostile  attack.  there  persists  bitterness  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach ,   annoyed  how  isaac  can  just  say  whatever  he  wants  without  repercussions  while  stefan  won’t ――   can  never.    ‘ i don’t get it ’  - -   are  the  words  stuck  with  tongue  held  back  and  instead  had  to  give  a  response  so  uncaring ,  but  then  again ,   stefan  is  supposed  to  be  𝗗𝗘𝗙𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗 ,  𝗣𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗩𝗘  ,  𝗡𝗨𝗠𝗕 ...    a  boy  whose  way  too  different  from     nathaniel.       (   or  maybe  they’re  not  so  different,   after  all;  sporting  similar  bruises,  broken  bones  and  patches  of  skin  healed  and  cut  all  over.  )

       ‟     ͏ ――  𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 ... 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆.    ❜  

stefan ,   dealing  with  @scarfwere​ :

neil  /  nathaniel ,   dealing  with  isaac :

     head  turns  slowly ,   with  an  expression  rigid  and  of  disbelief.    stefan  could’ve  been  painted  as  mostly  unsure  and  quiet ,   but  he  does  know  when  and  what  to  speak  up.    especially  when  implied  accusations  are  in  the  air.    stefan  keeps  well  to  himself  and  he  doesn’t  accept  SLANDER .

                                   ‟     Unlike other people here ,   I do wash my dishes in this household.                                                           Do  you ?     ❜

                   ❛ you’re my favourite little brat. ❜                  ⇢  SHIT SAID TO A BABY BROTHER.  &&. STILL ACC.  /  @scarfwere​

          a  beat  passes  by.    mouth  curls ,   taking  a  second  of  decision  in  what  he  has  to  say.    counting  in  different  languages ,   up  and  down ,   always  helped  in  cooling  his  head.    not  this  time.

                                    ‟     Didn’t know you’re banning   GERMAN   in this house.     ❜          nonchalance  does  not  equal  indifference ,   though  he  takes  note  of  his  ...   friend’s  preferences  of  what  he’d  like  to  hear  from  stefan.    however ,   there’s  no  promises;   for  stefan  is  still  trying  to  work  out  being ...   stefan.          ‟     Next thing I know,  you’ll ban me from  CURSING  and pose a curfew for me ...    ❜   

         ❛ who taught you that word ?? ❜                  ⇢  SHIT SAID TO A BABY BROTHER.  &&. STILL ACC.  /  @scarfwere​

░  ┊   @scarfwere​​  。• ◞ 

a good friend. When did he last have one? Matt? He guessed, if he ever counted as one. A small tentative smile. A faint tilt of his head and he catches wind of the good breeze before it finds him. Him still unsure even when it comes. 

Eventually, it breaks out into a grin. A small one. Not large enough that it takes all over his face but good enough to make a dent. He almost turns around to double check ; make sure his Father wasn’t around to ruin it. But a surreptitious glance over his shoulder confirms what he felt in the moment : relief. 

           “ so ── we’re still friends? “ 

    people  like  him,  his  mother  and  he,   don’t  have  friends.   by  definition,   a   ‘ friend ’   is  one  of  her  connections  forging  high-quality  documents  for  them  to  pass  through  airports  or  one  of  those  old  ones  who  are  now  chasing  them  to  the  ends  of  the  earth.    stefan  hears  it  coined  a  lot  around  as  he  gets  by  and  wonders  how  easily  the  term  draws  such  warm  expression  on  isaac’s  face.    as  if  stefan  wouldn’t  be  gone  after  a  few  months’  time  and  wouldn’t  be  forgotten ...   just  like  the  rest  of  his  other  selves.

                                    ‟     Can’t  really  stop  you  from  doing  whatever  you  want.    ❜      the  raven-haired  boy  shrugs,   as  indifference  lace  with  a  piss  poor  excuse  that  he  can  fall  back  onto,   a  reason  why  he  allowed  whatever  this  is  to  happen.   at  the  end  of  the  day,   stefan  will  still  be  put  down  and  with  him,   are  memories  of  a  mediocre,  normal  boy’s  life.    as  much  as  stefan  can  already  feel  the  ire  of  his  mother  once  she  finds  out  and  when  she  does,   the  pounding  within  his  chest  covered  by  nonchalance  overlapped  the  threat  of  her  wrath  and  even  if  he  doesn’t  understand  why  isaac  seemed   cautious   despite  his  insistence  on  keeping  a  connection  with  stefan,   he  doesn’t  bother  poking  into  it. 

                                  ‟     Usually,   everyone doesn’t see the point of entertaining new kids for far too long;   they come and go and fade away within a week.   What’s up with you ?    You seem hell-bent into ...   whatever you’re up to.     ❜       if  stefan  also  sports    NATHANIEL’s    similar  bluntness  and  lack  of  effort  to  understand  social  cues,    he  also  doesn’t  bother  thinking  much  about  it.

░  ┊   @scarfwere​  。• ◞ 

it almost feels like a secret.  An admittance to some secret he wasn’t supposed to know. Much like how he would share a look with strangers who just knew the brig broken letters that hung over his head like a dark shadow.  

     “ I don’t mind. “ A shrug ─ he really didn’t. “ It’ be nice, you know, to share the load. “ 

                                    ‟     I’m trying to be a   GOOD FRIEND  .     ❜          the  words  are   FOREIGN   on  his  tongue,   too  far-fetched  in  a  vocabulary  of  self-preservation  and  necessary  detachment.    much  like  the  language  prohibited  and  would  have  his  mother  round  him  up  for  even  suggesting  the  thought.    too  bad  that  she  was  too  late  and  for  that,   he  sported  bruises  much  larger  and  more  purplish  than  the  usual.  

    though  there  is  FONDNESS  present,   one  that  he’s  unaware  of  its  implication  whereas  opposite  to  what  he  thought  he  means.          ‟     And you’re making it hard for me.    It makes sense,  but don’t say I didn’t warn you.     ❜     

░  ┊   @scarfwere​  。• ◞ 

“ nothing turns out well for me. “ It wasn’t a brag. Hardly something to be proud of. But it was nonetheless true. “ You can just say you don’t want to be seen around me. I’m a big boy. I can handle it if you don’t like me. “

    ‟     It’s not about being seen around you.     ❜      took  it  a  lot  not  to  physically  wince  from  the  implication  of  something  that     nathaniel     stefan  might’ve  been  doing  wrong.   usually,  the  twist  within  his  stomach  tells  that.      ‟     It’s about you being seen around me.   Just because I have a target on my back doesn’t mean you have to share it,  Isaac.     ❜

░  ┊   @scarfwere​​​  。• ◞ 

    “ what didn’t happen exactly?  ”  Yes. He had to s p e c i f y.

      he  sighs.   remembering  how  to  talk  with  people  is  very  hard.      ‟     Knowing me.   It  never  turns  out  well   —— especially if assholes are all over you now just because I talked shit right back at ‘em.     ❜  

   ‟     It’ll be   MUCH EASIER   for the both of us if   ‘ WE ’   didn’t happen.     ❜  

 ▬▬▬▬  ＆；   @scarfwere  ， sc.