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Regulus, barging in: Syphilis!
Severus:
Regulus:
Severus: Pardon?
Severus: So what’s for dinner?
Regulus: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!
Severus: …
Severus: Is it soup?
Regulus: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*
Severus: Please, enough with the soup puns!
Regulus: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.
Severus: STOP!
*one hour later*
Severus: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!
Severus: What the hell were you thinking?
Regulus: I heard releasing birds at a wedding is romantic!
Severus: You released OSTRICHES!
Severus, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies.
Regulus: Okay, tell me this, are you like, really tired?
Severus: I have depression, what do you think?
Regulus: Severus, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?
Severus, naked in Regulus's bed: No, I absolutely do not.
Regulus, already taking off his clothes: Fuck... Me neither.