Spilled Emotions - Blog Posts

All that blood was never pretty,

But they did so love the sound of warhorns,

Perhaps they went into every battlefield thinking,

This time it'll be rubies instead.

I was made from mismatched pieces,

God's leftovers,

A warrior's heart,

And a dreamer's mind

And a gentle soul

And a chaotic existence.

Then they shoved me in this tiny little useless body, and sent me into battle.

Without ever teaching me to fight,

Or bothering with armour.

—I was never meant to survive, was I?

10/idk follow and reblog to support

Maybe we're all tragedies,

Covered in skins

too stubborn to be tragic.

I'm don't think I'm a person,

Anymore.

I'm likely just a place

For daydreams to rest before

Finding someplace better now.

But is that something to mourn when I never truly knew,

What being human felt like...

8/idk. Follow and reblog to support

Do you think

The boy who eats nightmares,

Cries sometimes,

At the violence and sorrows

Hidden in the shameful crevices

Of our fragile minds

—That even his immortal self can't imagine.

Don't mistake me

When I say I'm lovely when I cry it's ugly,

cheeks red and wet with snot.

It's just that I've made a habit of finding tragedy beautiful.

5/idk, follow and reblog to support

I was raised to gobble on harsh words only,

My food pipe has stretched to swallow slanders,

My stomach has a special kind of acid to melt metal;

And my intestines are meant to grind any remaining matter to fine dust.

How to deal with kind words?

Of that, I have no idea.

Are they supposed to loll in my mouth like caramel candy

Or melt like chocolate?

Will the honey sting if it touches my bleeding tongue?

It will be lost between the blood and spit before reaching my stomach anyway.

—Be gentle with me please.

4/idk, follow and reblog to support

I wish someone would pick me up,

And decide

This one

This one deserves to be loved

In a way

Only hurricanes ever were.

3/idk, follow and reblog to support

If you're looking to like me,

Don't go looking under my skin.

There are stories there that even I have forgotten I buried.

I'm made of molecules old as this universe, and Sometimes under my skin; it shows.

There exist hidden acloves you may never find your your way back.

And some black holes that stare back at you.

Be safe in my heart instead,

Where the carefully curated kindness and empathy and sunshine personality is kept.

Under my skin is where I store the behind the scenes stuff;

The scars and the traumas.

But if you're looking to love me;

Well, enter at your own risk.

—i just hope I don't disappoint.

Follow or reblog to show support

I wasn't born with my head cut open

For you to fill with recreations of your own trauma

Like a tragedy bin.

I won't let you mangle

My mind and body

Till I can't see skin beneath the scars.

I will resist;

Brutally and unattractively;

— With fire and blood.

Follow and reblog to support.

Leidensweg

Wie kann man dem schmerz entgehen

Wie kann man nur das gute sehen

Wie kann man positiv bleiben

Und nur glückliche texte schreiben

Ich will es wissen ich will es können

Ich will alles furcht einflößende im Fegefeuer

verbrennen,

die guten Träume auswendig kennen

Und die Freudentränen in der Sanduhr fangen

Nur wie soll das gehen

Ich kanns weder sehen noch verstehen

Wärs nur so einfach wie rasenmähen

Die leute sagen das schaffst du schon das wird

schon gehen

Du hattest bis jetzt ja auch kein problem

So blind kann man nur sein ohne schmerz

Denn wenn der körper leidet, leidet auch das herz.

-B.I

i hid in the shower

with the lights off

holding my hands to my ears

the sound of water becomes muffled

and the tears of the shower are one with my own.

what had once filled me with

a feeling of happiness and satisfaction

has left me with ugly horizontal scars,

many that are still healing.

what once was beautiful red blood

has become pink and white scars,

they now fill my body...

and i feel so ugly.

My sweater unravels,

A thread locked around a knob.

As I walk away, my sweater becomes undone,

Back to the single-stringed rope it once was.

~ceramic-feelings

I see him everywhere

He smiles at me in the air,

He whispers me lullabies when I’m scared

Keeps the monsters from out my head ,

He holds me when I’m cold

Squeezes harder when I’m warm,

He just knows how , I liked to be hold

Ain’t a secret that could not be told .

I would trust him with my life

But I’m not to sure about a wife .

He is gentle , I know that so

But he is also very powerful .

Would he scare her gentle soul

I honestly don’t know .

@trueemotions91

A rose is red as the blood

That trickles when you prick

Your self with her thorns ,

The moon is as bright as the path

Lit , only enough for you to see the scary stuff,

The sun only shines, when it’s enemy’s are asleep,

Like the eagle in the sky

Waiting for its next victim who can’t escape,

The frog will watch each tiny slug

Against the river bugs,

While the spider etches her sketches

Against the moon lit sky,

The water speckles her nightmare

As it lights up her silver lined lie ,

The flys retreat from her secret trap

While her baby’s wait for it to fall

In their lap,

And all is lost in a blink of the eye .

@trueemotions91

There’s so much I would tell you now. I could but I can’t. I grieve you while we both still live. So much has happened, the you I love would be in shock that I’m still standing. The person you are now couldn’t care less.

And again you have destroyed me with less than one word

How are you meant to cope when the one person you need won’t acknowledge your existence?

“i realize now, that loving him was neither beautiful nor poetic; it was knowingly walking through hell every day and losing myself there.”

- a.m. {trying to love someone who is too broken to be fixed}

sometimes, i wonder if i'd pushed myself just a little harder in the past, i would have held onto something meaningful by now.

- a.m. {they never last}

“it's happening again.

my eyes are searching the room for you, without even meaning to.

the twinge in my heart when a day passes and i didn't get to hear your voice.

i feel it creeping up my neck, when our eyes lock and neither of us dares to look away.

the ache i get at the end of the day when i regret not having the guts to talk to you.

it's happening again,

but how will it end this time?”

A.M. {it's just a crush, it's just a crush, it's just a crush}

“I have fallen in love too fast for this to be anything but fate.”

A.M. {as always}

“Oh, but you don’t know. You don’t know what your ocean eyes and innocent smile could do to a girl like me; A girl who overthinks every little thing.”

A.M. {hope}

“You aren't even mine, but I still love you like you are.”

A.M. {unrequitedly}

“I will never fall in love with him,” my mind vows.

And then my heart murmured, “My dear, when will you realize you already have?”

A.M. {you can’t fool your own heart}

“i'm growing real tired of pretending i'm not in love with you.”

A.M. {can you see me?}

I will never beg you to stay

When you and I know you’ll just walk away

BAND-AID

Call your new toy by your pet name for me,

insist that that’s not how that is but I see,

I caught you red handed as you replaced me.

It was plain and simple, Destiny.

Pretend that you’re pure and that you share love,

But I know how to tell when looking at one,

You’re unstable and you blame everyone.

No wonder you’re so lonely in Edmonton.

Claim you don’t take sides yet turn and ‘campaign’,

To get others to leave me, but with you to stay,

The fact that it’s not real, that’s really the shame.

They’ll leave you one day.

You were shocked and confused when I stood up to you,

Went crying to Kevin, but he thought it through,

He knew that you were lying to him too.

Too bad. Screw you.

Do you need an emotional Band-Aid?

You’ve got no friends left after your charade.

Wish I could say I’m surprised, but I ain’t.

And it’s all because you’re a snake.

On Monday, you cried to me bout your boyfriend,

Then Tuesday, you told me, I wasn’t a good friend,

Three weeks ago you decided it was the end.

Not such a nice Canadian.



You made up some false narrative in your head,

Badmouthed me to all of our mutual friends,

And now to me, you’re simply dead.

Hope it was worth it in the end.

LOVE, DEAR ABBY







“He left me the way he always had: disappointed, but not surprised.”

LOVE, DEAR ABBY