Spirit Working - Blog Posts

Offerings: Why, and How?

There are some spirits and gods in the worlds that really must be approached with the correct offering, or will be very offended if you bring the wrong one. This post is not about them.

Thanks goes to @river-in-the-woods for help proofreading and providing additional perspectives

Spirit and deity work is a huge part of my deal, and therefore so are offerings. When I help people with various spirit issues or perform divination that suggests a spirit wants to contact them, I usually recommend giving offerings as a first step.

This usually creates a lot of questions, like:

I don’t want to worship them, so I’m not comfortable with offerings.

I only want to work with spirits I don’t need to pay.

What kind of offerings are OK? I can't afford to buy extra stuff right now.

I can’t have a shrine or leave food sitting out so it’s not possible for me to make offerings.

The reasons why offerings are given change from culture to culture, and situation to situation. I personally see offerings as being one of two things: good manners, or equivalent exchange.

How to do so comes after the saucy radio dialogue and the fairy tale.

Good Manners

Your grandma comes over. She was just on a 5 hour flight to come visit you. She comes in through the front door. You offer her some water and a snack.

Offering grandma water and a snack isn’t a form of worship or payment. It’s polite and respectful. It took her a lot of energy and effort to come and see you. Her well-being and comfort are important to you (in this hypothetical, of course).

When I drive 10 minutes to see my best friend, she always offers me tea. She’s not paying me for my friendship – she’s happy I came, she wants me to be comfortable, and it’s a sign of mutual respect. “I value your presence; I’ll offer you some tea.”

If my friend stopped offering me tea, I’d wonder if our relationship was doing OK – and if she explained to me she was out of money, or she’s doing a no-tea challenge, we’d be perfectly good.

But if you greet grandma empty-handed and say you don’t think it’s your job to provide her meals, the situation feels a little different. It feels to me as if grandma might not be as interested in making the trip to see you next time.

Equivalent Exchange

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“I’m going to bury some stuff. I just did ritual and an important part is burying the remnants at the crossroad.”

“Right on, we’re the spirits of the crossroad, so you came to the right place.”

“Yeah, so you’ll be opening the gates of the four directions and delivering my spell to manifestation, right?”

“Sure, we can do that.”

“…”

“…”

“Are you going to, uh… pay us for that service?”

“I don’t see why I should.”

“But you need us to open the gates for you. We have to spend our own energy to do this work. I mean it’s not terribly difficult, but still.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see why that should be on me.”

“Not even a tip? Have you got some change in your pocket?”

“To be honest, I don’t think it’s fair to me to have to pay.”

“So you want us to work for free?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t care what it costs us to do this work for you, you just want to take the fruits of our services without regard for us?”

“Yes.”

“And we should do it because you feel it's unfair to have to pay us for our work?”

“You got it.”

“And if others told you that you must donate your labor to give them what they want because it's unfair to give you a wage, this would be…”

“A huge injustice. This is actually a major problem in my country right now. We are so underpaid for what is demanded of us that it really is hurting my mental health and wellbeing. You have no idea how hard it is to be exploited for someone else’s prosperity. I kind of feel like one day I might just go off grid and refuse to be a part of their system.”

The Quality of Offerings Are Relative

The fairy queen Medb was curious about the humans beyond the Greenwood, so she decided to meet them all, from the wealthiest noble to the poorest villager, and to give a gold coin to the kindest one. Before she left, she cloaked herself in a human disguise and dressed as if she were a hardworking seamstress.

First she went to the house of a rich farmer who owned herds of cattle. She knocked on the door and was greeted by the mistress of the house, Frau Hilda.

Medb said, “I am a traveler and the road has been long, may I have some water?”

Frau Hilda kindly invited Medb inside. She sat the queen down at her large, clean table in her warm and cozy kitchen. Frau Hilda went to the larder. Medb could see that her larder was overflowing enough with fine wine, cheeses, and sausages to serve an army. Frau and fetched two jugs of milk and two loaves of bread. One of the jugs of milk was thin, and the loaf of bread was dry. The second jug of milk was thick, as if it was pure cream, and the loaf of bread was hot and fresh.

“Here, have some milk and bread,” Frau Hilda said. “It is much better than water, and will restore you from your travels.” Frau Hilda poured a glass of each milk, and handed the queen the thin milk and old loaf. Frau Hilda herself drank the rich, delicious milk and ate the hot bread.

“This is much better than water, and I thank you for your kind generosity,” agreed Medb.

The two women spoke kindly and politely to each other. Medb learned about the wealth and prosperity of the farmer and his household. They spoke until Medb finished her thin milk and old bread. As she left, Medb thought to herself that the thin milk and old bread, although better than water, were the poorest things in the larder. She kept her gold coin to herself, and walked down the road.

The next day, Medb came upon the hovel of a poor woodcutter and his wife. She knocked on the door and was greeted by Frau Brunhild.

Medb said, “I am a traveler and the road has been long, may I have some water?”

Just like Frau Hilda, Frau Brunhild kindly invited Medb inside. Frau Brunhild’s kitchen was small and cramped. She went to her larder and Medb could see it was almost empty. It only held a bag of flour, a scrap of bread, and a jug of water.

Frau Brunhild brought out the water and bread. “I am sorry I don’t have any milk for you,” Frau Brunhild said. “But let us share in what little we have.”

Frau Brunhild poured Medb some water and gave her one-third of the bread. “We must save some for Mister Brunhild,” she explained.

“I thank you for your generosity,” said Medb. “You show kindness in sharing what you have.” The two women spoke kindly and politely to each other until they had eaten the bread and drank the water. As she left, Medb thought to herself that although it was only water and a little slice of bread, Frau Brunhild had truly offered the best in her larder.

Medb was so moved by this generosity that she returned to the hovel that night, and hid the gold coin in one of Frau Brunhild’s shoes, and after that the Brunhilds always had better prosperity and fortune.

No matter what you have, your best is your best. You do not need to over-spend, give away too much, or sacrifice your wellbeing to give respectful offerings to spirits. If the best you have is a glass of tap water, that is good enough.

What kinds of offerings can you give?

I’m copying this over from my neighborly protection post.

Food and Drink: Good offerings include things with strong tastes and smells, foods high in caloric value, milk, honey, all nuts, eggs, and seeds (things which contain the potential for life are very good offerings), all home cooked/baked foods, fresh water (an especially good offering), coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco, and juices all make very fine offerings.

Perhaps tellingly, the finest or most necessary offering is simply a glass of fresh water (yes, it can be tap water).

Consumables: Incense and candles both make good offerings. Both should be burned. I am actually more wary of using real resins and herbal powders for spirit offerings, since the natural powers of these plants are released and may affect what I’m trying to do (or make it easier or harder for spirits to speak to me, or drive away spirits I’m trying to talk to, or draw in ones I don’t want to talk to). For these reasons I like to use stick or cone incense for offerings. It is the light and warmth from the candle which is enjoyed by spirits so it can be any type or color of candle.

Artwork, fake paper money, origami, and other burnable stuff can be dedicated (another way to think about this is to gift it to them) and then burned. The point is not destruction; the astral essence of these things is released so the spirits can possess them in their world.

Non-consumables: Coins are very common offerings. Small, delightful objects (especially shiny ones), like shells, little figurines, or toys often make good offerings. The act of devoting a ritual tool or vessel to a spirit can be an offering. Things which can be consumed (like cigars or paper art) don’t have to be burned and can be given as regular offerings also.

Energy: Your personal energy is a great offering. You don’t have to give a ton of it away. Try making an energy ball and sending it upwards and away, intending that it reach the spirit you want to give it to. I often like to pattern these gifts into an object, like an energy coin or energy apple.

How do you give physical stuff to a nonphysical being, though?

Lay out the offerings on a clean surface. It doesn’t have to be an altar or a shrine, although I suspect such consecrated places can make it easier for spirits to access and enjoy your offerings. It can be just like setting out a glass of water and half a sandwich for grandma.

Do something which indicates the offering is for the spirits or a specific being. My friend can make me a cup of tea, but if she just sets some tea down on the table and walks away, I’m not going to be sure it’s OK for me to drink it until she says, “this is your tea!”

What you do can be as simple as standing before the offering and saying or thinking, “This is for [names of spirits, or ‘the household spirits’, etc], please enjoy! I’ll come clean it up by noon, enjoy it before then.”

At a minimum I recommend leaving non-consumable offerings out for fifteen or thirty minutes. If it’s a candle or incense, they burn out when they burn out (you do not have to let large candles burn completely, but be careful of promising a candle as a gift to spirits, then going back on that promise and using it for something else). Energy offerings are given instantaneously and no waiting period is necessary.

Whenever you return to clean up the offering, it’s polite to say something like, “thank you for coming by, and I hope you enjoyed! It’s time for me to clean up now. Please return to your abodes; as you came in peace, leave as friends.” I personally like to affirm the purpose of giving an offering - that it’s because I want to be a good neighbor, I want to have solid relationships with the spirits around me, and that I hope we’re all going to be friends. I also like to affirm that although I invited them all to the offering, they should go home now - I wanted you for the BBQ but it’s like 9pm now and we’re going to bed, so you need to go home too.

I throw out food. I compost it if I can. Whether or not you can eat food already offered to spirits is a whole discussion and beliefs vary. My belief is that you shouldn’t eat it after it’s offered.

Other non-consumable objects can be buried if they’re nontoxic to the environment. They can be left on an altar or shrine, and cleared out on a regular basis (like once a full moon, or on holidays).

To Eat or Not to Eat?

I mentioned briefly above that I don’t believe you should eat offerings after they’ve been offered. This is a pretty complex topic that does merit discussion.

For example, I sometimes eat the offerings while they’re being offered. I have a close relationship with various spirits, and sometimes I invite them into my body to taste and experience the food and drink I eat.

The reason I don’t prefer to eat offerings after they’ve been offered is that my belief is that the metaphysical substance which supports us as living creatures has been removed and taken away from the spirits. I don’t believe the food would be harmful, but that it also wouldn’t be helpful. To me, throwing the food away isn't a waste because it already fulfilled its purpose.

However, tons of people believe that you should eat food and beverage offerings. This is in order to avoid waste (because after all, even if I say metaphysically the food served its purpose, I’m still throwing away totally edible food). I am advised that in Buddhism, offerings given to ancestors, buddhas, and bodhisattvas aren’t degraded at all, and you can safely eat and drink offerings afterwards (and not doing so would be wasteful). For buddhas and bodhisattvas offerings are just a sincere gesture; the ancestors do get nourishment from food offerings and they greatly benefit from it. Even so, food offered to ancestors is still perfectly wonderful to eat.

In other belief systems, some people think that eating offered food can actually make you sick, especially if it’s offered to the dead. This may be due to a metaphysical change in the food, or because the spirits don’t want to share.

Sometimes, whether or not food is eaten after being offered depends on the type of spirit or god it’s given to; chthonic entities often seem to frown upon their offerings being eaten or shared.

Some believe that food offerings shouldn’t be eaten but neither should they be trashed; they should be burned or buried.

Sometimes, dedicating a food or drink offering to a spirit is a way to bless it under their power. If I dedicate a glass of water to the Indweller of the Sun, it’s understood to be imbued with the virtues of the Sun. If I drink it, it becomes a form of equivalent exchange - I gave something to the Sun, it gave something to me, and this ritual action is completed when I consume the offering.

Given all these varieties of belief, it’s safe to say that you probably can’t go wrong. If you can’t or don’t want to waste food, or it isn’t counter-indicated by your path, eat food offerings.

If you’re especially nervous or worried about what might happen to you if you do eat them, then don’t. Or, avoid the problem altogether by just giving energy or incense offerings.

For the witchy asks: 🌹🦄

witchy asks

8. (🌹) - what's something that isn't talked about enough in the witchcraft community?

I don't know if it's not talked about "enough," but I find it very curious how many witches who are also animists totally ignore inherent correspondences within nature.

Arguments about where correspondences come from and what they mean very often seem to focus totally on human decisions and desires.

I've always been under the impression that the fact that correspondences for a single thing often vary from culture to culture causes people to assume that humans make them all up.

There rarely ever seems to be an idea that oak trees in England are different fellows from oak trees in Ohio (pretending that the couple hundred of species of oak don't exist and it's all just One Guy), and that authentic connection to the tree will validly produce different correspondences in each area.

Or that spirits are as multifaceted as humans. As an individual, to some people I bring pain and injury, and to others I extend deep love and protection. But if an animal spirit does so, that means those two "correspondences" are incompatible, and therefore the human made them up and projected them.

Or that as humans, two of us may see the same facet of a spirit and we ourselves respond to it differently - so of course, there is nothing inherent in the herb, all that matters are our own reactions, and there is no meaning within the plant beyond our attitudes towards it.

Or that the individual spirit of a single plant is an individual, and is not a nameless hivemind pouring fourth an unwavering, set pattern of meaning and power.

Of course not everyone works with spirits, or is an animist. But for spirit-working witches who are animists, I often question why they speak of natural things as being meaningless until a human ascribes the meaning.

9. (🦄) - what's something that's talked about too much in the witchcraft community?

I'm not sure I can say. I haven't been back in a "big" community long enough to comment on it.

But you know what, let's go ahead with TikTok.

People talk about TikTok too much.

I ask myself this a lot lately: is everything exactly what it seems?

The mind and the senses kind of naturally rail against those spirits we engage with that can't be categorized or rationalized easily - not the unknown, but rather the can't-be-known.

Some things have no name, others have no form. On a very surface level, we work to let go of expectations so we can see what's really there. In a deeper sense, I believe we have to continue to cast aside these constraints we put on the spirits we engage with, and our way of perceiving them.

Spirit work involves a lot of fighting against our own apophenia - a need to distort by forcing into form and creating connections that aren't there. It's really easy to want to assign name and nature to something that can't fit neatly into a box.

It's a fact that we will make mistakes, be mistaken about the nature of, or identity of, a spirit at some point in the journey. The trick is to keep peeling away the layers, until pretty wrappings and trappings fall away and we can see what's really in front of us.

Don't blink. Don't be afraid to take yourself apart. Let yourself, and the spirits around you, become complicated.

Guardian Animal Shielding

I find this technique to be extremely comforting. It may be adapted to many models of magic, including psychological ones.

I find that this shield is better performed alone or when you can focus on it. It is more of an event than a practical utility.

TL;DR: Put yourself in a headspace where your favorite natural biome is all around you. Call a guardian animal. Spend time with the animal and thank it when you are done.

TIPS & TRICKS: Build a folder of gifs, video clips, photos, audio tracks, etc. that just take you to your favorite biome (perfect chance to create mood boards really).

You can perform this technique as a meditation, but also you can employ it as energetic shielding.

SHIELDING: Choose what biome you want to spend time in. You can be very specific (like choosing to be near a body of water, the time of day, the weather patterns, or the types of flora and fauna present) or you can be very general. Decide if you would like to call on a specific animal from that biome, or if you will call for any animal in general.

Draw energy up a shield around you in whatever method you prefer. I generally find it to be much easier to pattern the shield while you make it, instead of creating a white bubble and modifying it after the fact (e.g. if you create your shields by exhaling energy, exhale the biome itself).

Once your biome shield has been created to your satisfaction, consider spending time within it to feel it. This is a good opportunity to practice psychic senses. Try feeling, smelling, seeing, tasting, and hearing what is within the shield.

When you are ready, speak, think, sign, or indicate that you want an animal to join you in the biome. If you use words, they might be, "otter, come join me. I need a friend and a protector. Come sit with me in my shield." Or, "Mother Earth, I've called you to be around me. Now I ask you send an animal to protect me and be my companion at this time."

If you do not want to use words, you can pattern an animal into your shield using energy work techniques or any technique you prefer.

Try spending time feeling, smelling, seeing, (maybe not tasting), and hearing the animal. Try talking to it and watching its behavior.

You can go about your day and this biome and animal will travel with you. Reinforce it by adding more energy to it using whatever technique you prefer. When you are done, if you remember to do so, thank the animal for its company and ask it to return home.

MODIFICATIONS: If short on time, create the shield to include the animal automatically, instead of having to invite it.

You can invite the same animal over and over again, or invite a new one each time.

The guardian does not need to be an animal and the environment doesn't need to be a biome. Consider a heavenly shield and pearly gates with an angelic guardian, for example.

Especially if you call out for a general guardian, your actual guardians and guides may appear, even if they are unknown to you at this time. Especially watch out for specific beings that show up time and time again. (this technique was how I first met my primary spirit guardian, although I didn't know it at the time!)

This technique can be a form of divination and self-reflection. Let everything be very general, including the biome. Pattern your energy work to "bring forth the environment I need the most." Call for "the guardian I need the most." Observe what is created around you.

As stated above, this technique in general is excellent for practicing psychic sensing.

Once you have a protection amulet or two in hand, try this in a natural area. Pattern your shield to be the energy of that area. Call for a local benevolent spirit. See what happens.

Been tossing this idea around in my head but for spirit-working witches I lowkey think a good place to start is going around to make introductions to a variety of helpful spirits, either benevolent or neutral in moral dignity, who can be called on at any time.

Literally going around and meeting the archangels/monarchs/guardians/gatekeepers (etc/whatever) of the four elemental roads. Just shaking hands and saying hi. Asking for their support, patience, and grace in working with them and their domains.

Brief introduction to the structure you live in, or absent of that, the land you live on.

Choosing your top 5 personal favorite kitchen spices, one or two nice rocks, and the nearest convenient tree and just doing a series of private rituals to meet them one by one.

Because then by the time you want to get started with other stuff, like finding familiar spirits, learning new skills, or solving problems, you already have met several spirits who are likely to be easily invoked to stand by your side and offer protection, assistance, and guidance for the task at hand.

Just because you don't know any spirits on a friendship level doesn't mean you have to be alone. You can still have spirits standing with you to help and ensure things go well. You can lay a compass, call forth the elemental gods, and ask them to provide assistance for the duration of the ritual. You can ask them to send a teacher or a guide to you to help you with something important.

Etc.

tips for adhd witches!

[[before you expand: LONG text post!!]]

I got diagnosed only a couple months ago, but I have been practicing witchcraft for a little bit now. So in retrospect, here is stuff that I realized I have been doing to cope the whole time, and some new things I'm tinkering with :) Please feel free to leave your own tips or thoughts!

At all costs, avoid promising gods and spirits that YOU WILL uphold a rigid routine.

Just do not promise to give daily offerings! JUST DON'T DO IT. If you struggle with upholding a regular routine, do not promise gods or spirits you will uphold a routine for them. You should only promise things you are confident you can deliver. ((If you identify as a beginner witch it's my personal belief that you should not be promising anyone anything.))

Delete from your mindset that all witches are supposed to uphold rigid routines.

Give yourself breathing room: if you want to give scheduled offerings, maybe do one on the full moon. Or, plan it to coincide with other activities that interest you, and that you're likely to show up for.

Unless you have a few hours a week to devote to your practice, you should probably not be dedicating yourself to doing daily anything.

Rigid routine is not the only way to get regular experience with magic, build relationships with gods or spirits, or improve in your craft! You simply do not have to promise yourself or anyone else that you will do X actions at Y times.

Instead of having "do X for Y minutes on Z days" routines, try developing a streamlined ritual you can fit in anywhere for the really important stuff.

Maybe there are some really important things in your practice that you want to do on a regular basis. Maybe these are things like:

Quick personal shielding

Acknowledging and honoring spirits

General offering

Prayer for guidance

Instead of saying "I'll do shielding for 5 minutes every day after breakfast, then of course my offering ritual-", you can put a streamlined (short, easy) ritual together where you do all four of these things at once.

Deep breaths, acknowledge and honor the spirits, ask for assistance in raising a shield, offering excess raised energy to them, and praying for guidance in the upcoming task.

It should take maybe like, 2 minutes tops.

Then, slot this streamlined ritual in before most practice activities. Like:

Before other energy work

Before divination

Before spellwork

Or, use it as a sort of 'generic' access point of connection and perform this ritual:

When you shower, to calm down from the day

When you're on transit to prepare for the upcoming day

When you're feeling grateful and want to share the moment with the spirits

When you're feeling sad and need support

Instead of forcing important actions into routines that may be hard to follow, find a way to carry these actions around with you in an accessible ritual, like carrying snacks around in a bag. This way you can use other exciting activities, or other life events, as a reminder to practice your ritual of important things :)

Build a clear system of omens for yourself. Omens can intrude on your daily life and get your attention.

Maybe you have alarm blindness, forget to do divination, forget to check in with spells - so asking for omens can be a huge help. They are spontaneous messages that catch your eye. Helpful!

Research cultural omens

Research omens in your magical tradition

Journal and brainstorm personal omens

Write out, for yourself, a short list of personal omens.

Solid black pigeons mean a spirit wants attention. Seeing your favorite tree species means a spell was successful. Three gray dots means a spell failed. The scent of cinnamon buns means fortune is headed your way.

Perform a ritual announcing your chosen omens to the Powers That Be. Invite those Powers, Yourself, Life, the Universe, and Everything to send you true, accurate, and helpful messages through these omens.

Working with omens in this way is a skill that evolves over time. Your personal omen system will evolve over time if you use it. Think of it as another form of divination!

(Tip: Combine symbols with colors for an advanced system that's easy to remember. Oak trees are prosperity, but black means slow movement, red means powerful, and white means failure. After a spell you see a plumbing truck with a red oak tree logo; powerful prosperity. Etc.)

Build all your spells, rituals, and everything with the foresight that you are probably going to forget about it or not return to it for a long time.

Employ foresight and:

Encode retirement/shutdown functions into your spells!! Do you want the spell to burn out completely and leave the vessel hollow so you don't have to deal with the vessel later on? Specify that! Do you want the spell to go to 'power saver mode' and hibernate so you can save the vessel and recharge it later? Specify!

ENCODE OMENS INTO SPELLS TO REMIND YOU TO TAKE ACTIONS! "This spell brings me financial benefit, and when it runs low, I will see my omen of slow growth - a solid black tree."

Assume that you are going to completely forget that you're able to take care of this problem, so encode the spells assuming you will never remember to deal with this again:

Spell for people that will remember they want to deal with Monica (they will also be working with wards, divination, and subtle cunning): "Stop Monica at the front desk from assaulting me with her dark energies, or else limit how much of her energy can reach me."

Spell for people that are going to completely forget this is an issue they can take care of and won't do another spell on it for maybe 18 months: "Stop Monica from assaulting me with her dark energies, or reveal to everyone in the office her dark nature, but if neither of these things is possible, change something in the office so that we never interact again."

Assume you will forget about individual spells, that you will accumulate way to many spells than you can individually attend to, and that you may never take final steps like cleansing and deconstructing old spell vessels.

Build a spellcasting altar, or a spell recharging altar, where you store up all your vessels. Recharge them all at once, as often as you remember to.

Poor plan: "And when this vessel runs down I will recharge it with the waxing moon as I stand under the orange tree-" More tenable plan: "And when this vessel runs down let it drink energy from my altar; let it take up any energy that suits it; let it feed on what is available to it, according to its needs."

Focus on learning how to tie spells to external energy sources so they will stay charged for way longer.

For easy deconstruction, set blanket conditions for every vessel that it be undone and the magic erased if you take a simple action. This is called a kill code. You bake it into spells and it makes deconstruction way easier.

Try developing a barbarous word of undoing and using it every time you want to undo a vessel or a spell; this word will gain power and can become very helpful in other ways.

Once again, plan spells with the foresight that it will be difficult/unlikely for you to re-engage for formal deconstruction procedures. So, anticipate your future needs during spellcasting: "And if I ever open this jar and take out the things inside it, let this spell be released and return to the earth, let it fade away without trouble and nourish anything around it as fallen logs nourish the forest floor." This way, you know that if you accidentally forget about a spell or just take it apart, the magic already has instructions to safely dissipate and you don't have to worry.

Develop a visual language to remind you of what collected objects and spell vessels are.

This folds in real nice with a personal omen system!!

Use a combination of colors, established symbols (planetary, alchemical), and personal symbols to develop a visual conlang that helps you keep track of what things are.

If applicable, decorate or modify spell vessels so you can tell at a glance what the spell is for (violet symbol of Venus next to a paw: a spell to improve relationships with the spirits that help you with psychism)

Build a system that makes intuitive sense to you, perhaps folding in with your color correspondence associations, magical headcannon, or any other mnemonic device:

All the spells in jars are protective

Everything that's tied into a witch's ladder is about prosperity

If it has a red X on it, that's a hex

If it has a 7-pointed star, it involves your dragon guide

If you store it in a bag that has blue on it (blue print, blue button, blue tie-string) then that object is related to cleansing

Your personal visual language will gain its own power over time if used regularly, in the way that egrigores or sigils can gain power if used consistently over time :) It can become a real magical tool, not just a mnemonic device!

During spirit work, just clearly communicate that your sporadic presence has nothing to do with your dedication 🤷

When you conjure/talk to/pray to gods, spirits, or anything, address the fact that your communication/rituals/etc ARE going to be sporadic. Explain yourself and ask the spirits to extend understanding.

Some spirits/gods/etc are going to demand regular routine. AND IF THEY EXPECT THAT, then you guys need to get on the same page ASAP as to whether or not that's possible.

Spirits can be incredibly forgiving and understanding, but unless you tell them why you are sometimes around and sometimes not, they do not necessarily know what's going on.

Your spirit guide may have not read the DSM-5. Obelon the Fox-Man might not be up-to-date with the 2025 diagnosis criteria for ADHD, and Obelon might not recognize that you are struggling with a disorder that can mimic inattentiveness. Obelon might be asking why you appear to be so enthusiastic, and yet only call for him once every 5 weeks.

Just explain!! Explain what you are comfortable explaining. Give them reassurances and ask them to not misinterpret your ability to be present.

At all costs, avoid making your path a carrot that you dangle in front of yourself to try and force yourself to fix your brain through sheer force of will.

If the way you talk to yourself about your path sounds like someone struggling with unhealthy dieting, maybe it's time to readjust.

"I just need to do my daily offerings, on schedule, for two weeks. Then I will have earned researching tarot spells."

Maybe it's not a good idea to intentionally include witchcraft in a cycle of reward and denial that will ultimately drain joy from the process until your passion is a withered husk.

Witchcraft isn't going to force your brain to change any more than Stardew Valley was going to force your brain to change. Or that time you got super into succulents. If your time spent studying wool quality in heritage European sheep breeds didn't cure your disorder, witchcraft won't either.

Witchcraft, I think, deserves to be something that is a part of your joy - not a part of a system of stressful attempts at making yourself into someone you're not because "real witches" all do such-and-such routine (I assure you, they do not) so you must force yourself to do it too.

(Incidentally, if you have a 'streamlined ritual for the important stuff' and it becomes a barrier that prevents you from practicing, then maybe that's not a good idea for you - or maybe it's not as simple and streamlined as you need it to be)

STOP trying to build a static path. Lean into temporary hyperfixations.

There is SO MUCH to learn in witchcraft. It's never-ending. The more you learn, the more doorways open for you with more things to learn behind them.

This is not college, you do not have to declare your major. You don't have to wait to decide on your 'magic specialization' before you start learning.

This is not college, you don't have to take semesters of boring general ed classes before you're allowed to start studying what interests you.

Unless you are getting into very serious initiations, learning stuff, advancing your skills, and building your path is not going to shut doors and prevent you from getting into something else.

If something excites your interests, GET INTO IT! Don't force yourself to ignore what you're passionate about because you think serious, responsible witchcraft is supposed to be rigid, boring, and tedious. (It isn't!)

Avoid declaring your major. As in, maybe the idea of energy glamours is super exciting, so on day 1 you create a lesson plan that will realistically take you 70 weeks to complete. Based on your history, is it reasonable that you will maintain this specific interest in glamours for over a year?

Avoid making lesson plans that intentionally slow you down and make shit boring for no good reason. If energy glamours interest you, are you (*scrolls up*) using energy glamours as a carrot to force yourself to engage in a tedious magical workout routine? Is the reason the lesson plan takes 70 weeks because you decided to spend weeks slowly moving through each phase so you have time to spam energy work exercises?

You know yourself better than I know you. Maybe wanting to slow down and engage in your focuses in a new way is the goal. Of course, listen to yourself first!

But if you have a temporary burst of energy and focus to learn a new skill, and learning that skill won't require you to make unhealthy personal or financial decisions, why not just lean into it and explore it moment by moment, wherever your interests take you?

I think you'd probably learn a lot more doing and undoing 20 glamours in a week, because you're freaking out about how fucking cool it is, than if you practice 1 basic glamor exercise once a day because that's what real disciplined witches do, and then 11 days later you forget it once and never do it again and now your interest has faded because glamouring is just another boring chore.

Invest some time and energy into figuring out exactly what your bare minimum of responsibility and upkeep actually is.

How often do you need to recharge your wards to keep them functioning normally?

Once you've explained your own needs and limits, how often do your spirits actually request offerings?

Are you 100% sure the spirits you're working with expect offerings in the first place?

Are those offerings expected to be physical, or do thoughts and prayers suffice?

How often should you perform a personal cleansing to keep yourself feeling magically refreshed?

Feeling anxious or guilty over whether or not you're supposed to be taking certain actions is NO FUN.

It is much less fun if you don't actually know how often you need to do these things. Then it's just all guessing, all the time, and nothing is ever good enough.

If at all possible, avoid putting yourself into a situation where you feel that you are supposed to be doing something responsible in your practice, but you're never sure exactly what it is.

Spend some practice time, learn some skills, and make notes, to discover whether or not you do have any minimum engagement requirements in the style of practice you want. And most importantly, having clear 'deadlines' so you don't have to keep guessing at what you're forgetting about this time.