The Author Markiplier - Blog Posts

I tbh I always had a weird thing for disembodied voices (TSP fans I know you’re reading/j)

I also wanna say this now THIS TAKES PLACE BEFORE HE BECOMES THE HOST!!

REQUESTED BY: It’s complicated, technically all the people who voted him in the poll, and me. WARNINGS: A few headcanons for The Author, one act of indirect physical violence, some foul language.

🖋️ The Author x Reader Shitpost Headcanons 🖋️

🖋️ He was having some writers block recently, he felt his plotlines becoming weaker by each paragraph. They didn’t read as scary as he wanted anymore and the tension didn’t last. So he decided he needed a change of scenery, a break from horror. Romance maybe?

🖋️ He went out for a stroll for inspiration. With every couple he passed, his eyes narrowed in thought. Honestly it was getting redundant, he was definitely coming up with ideas but wasn’t seeing any eye-catching people. He didn’t even give them chances because he knew if he thought up their own stories they’d be nothing more than boring.

🖋️ Then he saw you. Doing whatever the hell you were doing. He didn’t even realize it at first but he was definitely attracted to you in some way. Physically? Aesthetically? Emotionally? He had no clue which one but he definitely had a clue of one thing, you’d be great for his story.

🖋️ Oh you poor, poor soul. You woke up that next morning to a chilling breeze, only to find yourself on a tree stump in the middle of goddamn nowhere.

🖋️ The voice in your head was an immediate red flag. “[name] grazed their hands across the surface of the daisies that surrounded them.” You crossed your arms. “Nope.”

🖋️ Yeah… he didn’t expect you to be this resistant. It was sad really. He had a whole thing planned, you being a curious one exploring the area around you, finding a monster and befriending it until it ultimately YES HE PLANNED A MONSTER AND HUMAN ROMANCE HES TRYING NEW THINGS-

🖋️ At some point he noticed you testing the waters, asking him questions about what’s going on. He’s seen it many many many times before, and he was an ass about it, of course. Making tree branches slap you upside the head after you asked why he narrates in the Millennial cringe voice.

🖋️ “Why don’t you narrate this dick-“ he’s done with you. He just slammed the book shut and tossed it into the drawer of other abandoned stories.

🖋️ This ultimately left you in the woods to your own devices. It was scary to be honest, he just was GONE. Damn, right when the sun began to set too.

🖋️ Just hope you can find shelter before the sky turns pitch black.

ANOTHER POLL FOR MY NEXT MARKIPLIER UNDERRATED EGO X READER HEADCANONS/PREFERENCES ^^!!

WINNER DING DING DING!! -> The Author x Reader Headcanons

I was watching Danger In Fiction earlier and my big sister asked what I was watching and what it was about and I have never wanted to explain something with such confidence in my life

UPDATES FOR THE UNIVERSE‼️🗣🔥

(again...)

Ozzy, Milo and Night are part of this thingy called 'The Big 3's' (ik so original smh) and basically they all have separate titles based on their "true" form (idk either ima try explaining it)

OK so starting w/ the oldest.

The Hound of the Forest

(Ozzy)

Basically this wolf w/ 3 eyes and as it says in something that I'm yet to finish writing 'He always hunts you. He's always following. It only truly begins when you step into the woods.'

Yeah so um he's fast.

So basically the amount of time they've been around for is the amount of time it took for people to properly fear them.

Otherwise known as "The Hunter" or "The Swift One"

Ok next one

The Serpent of the Underworld

Ok this one should be ea-It's Milo.

Not actually a Serpent.

It actually a sort of 'noodle dragon' w/o wings

Really good at card games like Poker, GoFish, BlackJack, ect.

Basically looks like Malificent without the wings

Slender boi

Ok last one

The Serpent of the Skies and Seas

Ok th-Its Night.

You might be saying "urm skunk why have u got seas that's the moons job-"

BASICALLY SINCE HE'S NIGHT AND ALL THE MOON IS IN THE NIGHT SO WHY NOT HAVE HIM FULL CONTROL OVER ALL THE NIGHT TIME THINGY MBOBS OK SHUT UP-

Noodle dragon but BIG

The most feared out of the three

Think Sea Serpent. But black and red and with 20 eyes. 10 on each side of the face. All red. And abt the size of the largest blue whale on record.

uh yeah BACK TO OUR DAILY RESCHEDULED UPDATES COME BACK LATER-

Very late at night I'm running low on energy I'm tired as hecc but here's Markiplier/Jacksepticeye(happy bday dude) egos as things I have said

Host: I have decided that I no longer want to be here.

Murdock: I will consume your eyes like grapes

The Author: I'm going to eat the skin in between each of your fingers

Darkiplier: ShadowMilk if you can hear this PLEASE come home

God of Night: I'm slim shaky yes I'm real shaky

The Necromancer: Why can't we link arms and frolic down the pathway together :(

Wilford: Look at this hat, sexiest hat in the world

Actor: PLEASECOMEHOMEIMBEGGINGPLEASE

Google: You mention him and I'm gonna yap so hard you'd rather prefer being next to a rocket engine then me

Bing: Oi, "dude" is my thing >:<

Chase Brody: The Compressing Hallway of Doom😰

Antisepticeye: I don't get the fuss really, you can get away with anything if you don't get caught

JJ: My brain isn't braining

Henrik: Wanna know what "Birth Control Pills" in German is? Antibabypillen

Robbie: [...] please it's 6:55 my brain doesn't work at this time

Marvin: Wanna see some real magic? *leaves the room*

JBM: *redesigning MLP characters* Yeah I'm doing my homework :/

Bonuses!!!!

Celine(my wife fr): I don't care I'm not interested in Wizard Cookie >:<

Celci: *fixes one thing* I swear I do everything in this house

Mack: Totally understand definitely makes so much sense thank you so much for definitely and clearly understanding me *peak sarcasm*

Damien: I could treat him better smh😔

I am so sorry if I missed anybody I'll add those to the next part😔😔😔😔😔

he twelve now

There's someone in the window 🫣

ᵒᵏ ʸᵃᵖᵖˢ ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠⁱʳˢᵗ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ ʷʳⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ ˣ ᵍᵉⁿᵈᵉʳ ⁿᵉᵘᵗᵘʳᵃˡ ᶠᵃⁿᶠⁱᶜ ᵉˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡˡʸ ᶠᵒʳ ᵘʳ ᶠᵃᵛ ⁱᵖˡⁱᵉʳ ᵉᵍᵒ ᵒᵏ ʸᵒᵘʳᵉ ᵈᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵐᵃᶻⁱⁿᵍ ᵘʳ ᵈᵒⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵒ ʷᵉˡˡ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ⁿᵒᵇᵒᵈʸ ˢᵉᵉˢ ᵗʰⁱˢ ˢⁱˡˡʸ ᵖᵉᵖ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ⁱᵐ ᵍⁱᵛⁱⁿᵍ ᵐʸˢᵉˡᶠ ˡᵒˡˢ

F͟e͟a͟t͟h͟e͟r͟s͟- Winged! Author× Gender Neutural Reader

ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵇᵉ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵇᵉ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ᵘʳ ᵈᵒⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵒ ʷᵉˡˡ ʸᵃᵖᵖˢ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ᵍᵒⁱⁿᵍ

Summary: You've noticed feathers only belonging to your lover scattered everywhere and you decide to find out why

TW: None

Notes: Author is called Ozzy(Yes I will be using this name unless I decide to change it lol)

They were everywhere.

Feathers. Everywhere.

You sighed as you scooped up a handful of tiny fluffy feathers and plopped them into a bag. This was the 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒕𝒉 time today, why were there feathers everywhere? You hadn't the slightest clue. What you 𝒅𝒊𝒅 know was that every last feather belonged to your lover and it was time to find out why they were 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆.

You carefully opened the door to Ozzy's room. Careful not to startle him. It was mostly silent apart from the usual ruffle of wings.

"Hey Oz," you said as you made your way inside, placing the 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒆 bags of feathers on a nearby desk.

Ozzy spun around on his spinny-chair and faced you. Quickly eyeing the three bags, realising what this was about and slowly began to push himself back agaisnt the wall.

You knew moving too fast would scare him, but it was only way to catch him before he flapped himself off somewhere. You slowly began to move towards him, almost prowling, like a stalking cat, hunting prey.

"𝑂𝑧𝑧𝑦," you sighed, "Come on, it's okay. I just need to see what's going on."

Of course he wasnt listening. It was common for him to comepletely ignore another person. Casual Ozzy behaviour. Now wasn't the time. You needed to see what was going on. And it was clear Oz was worried about you finding out.

"Ozzy, please, I-" you were distracted by the very rapid shake of Ozzy's wings, causing feathers to drift off them, like dust in the air after it's blown off a surface.

"Ah. I see." Conclusion made. Mystery of the feathers solved. Case closed. Ozzy had missed grooming day. Again. It wasn't uncommon for this to happen. Too busy focused on writing to realise. It's only a problem when the wings start to bother him, then the ruffling-shaking commences and feathers go 𝑓𝑙𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 everywhere.

You reached into your pocket, knowing you had that preening tool somewhere. You eventually found it. You lifted it into sight. A small, white object about the same size as the middle finger with width of the centre three fingers on the hand. Two curves were in the side, allowing for easy hand placement. Shaped almost similiar to a bird's beak.

"Ozzy, come on. It ain't gonna hurt you. All the bothering will vanish. You'll be fi-Yeah you ain't listening are you?"

No. The answer was no. Small unvolintary chirps of worry coming from your lover's mouth. That was the only noise you've heard from him so far.

Within seconds you had jumped straight for Ozzy, causing squawks and screeches of confusion and panic. Moments within your awsome leap of faith you'd already had him on the floor.

"You're getting those wings groomed wether you like it or not. Not that I need to say because I know you love it," You said. "If I let you go promise you wont flap away from me. I just need you to sit up so I can do this properly."

Ozzy had calmed down eventually. Taking in what was happening, nothing he could do to escape. He gave a deep sigh before responding,

"𝐹𝑖𝑛𝑒"

"Finally, you talked," you chuckle to yourself, letting Ozzy go so he could actually sit himself up. You held your grooming tool carefully and began to preen through your lover's feathers. Within seconds the purring had already started, only getting louder as the process continued. It wasn't long, only took a minute or two to finish.

"Ok, all done," you stated, patting Ozzy on the shoulder, smiling. He had melted completely on the bedside, purring loudly.

"Ok, I'll be back soon, hun. Love you."

His reply was submerged under his purring. You smiled again before leaving.

ᵒᵏ ʸᵃᵖᵖˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈⁱᵈ ʷᵒⁿᵈᵉʳᶠᵘˡ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ ˡᵒᵃᵈ ⁱˢᵗᵍ

Iplier Ego Manor HCSor whatnot idk what to call it

(Oh yeah btw Ive changed Necromancer Mark's name to Ezeikel and The Author's name to Ozzy. Also for the sake of making my life easier Im making a nickname for Ezeilkel which is Ez. So yeah)

📌 Dark and Wilford are the main peeps in charge of the manor.

📌 Every now and again there are meetings (similiar to what happened in Markiplier TV execpt everyone is there apart from Ez bc they can't be bothered to travel from to cave to manor to talk about useless stuff that rarely gets put up anyways) and these meetings mostly end in Dark loosing their mind with everyone.

📌 There is 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 constant background noise. The only pure quietness is if Dark's glitchy-aura stuff magically stops.

📌 Ofc they celebrate national holidays they ain't animals😒/j

📌 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 is in a relationship wether it's plantonic or romantic. The only one that isn't is Actor bc nobody wanna fw that bs

📌 Ez will drop by the manor every once in a while m̶o̶s̶t̶l̶y̶t̶o̶c̶h̶e̶c̶k̶o̶n̶g̶o̶d̶o̶f̶n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶w̶h̶o̶i̶s̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶h̶u̶s̶b̶a̶n̶d̶

📌 Whenever Ez does manage to drop by it mostly ends in a whole lot of chaos. Why? You ever heard of the question "What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?" Yeah. That happens.

📌 Ozzy actually only cares for a few people *cough cough* Eric *cough cough* Host(surprisingly) *cough cough* Ez *cough cough* Dr.Iplier

📌 Ozzy is the only person in the manor that calls Dr.Iplier by his actual name(Edward)

📌 TRANSMASC HOST‼️‼️‼️

📌 Ez is one of the only (probably the only) person that calls Host by his actual name(Quill)

📌 Before he became Quill he was once Queenie

📌 Ez and Host actually have a really strong friendship

📌 NON-BINARY EZEIKEL‼️‼️‼️

📌 Ez actually dgaf abt what pronouns you use on him as long as ain't hurting anyone or offending anyone then he chill. Like you could call him haybale and he wouldn't gaf.

📌 GENDERFLUID DARKIPLIER‼️‼️‼️

📌 If anyone who ain't Dark catches themselves asleep in Wilford's room be prepared to wake up with drawings, stickers and sticky-notes all over your body.

📌 One of the egos (Night mainly) will drop by Ez's cave to see what's going on.

📌 So many wholesome interactions w/ the couples🥺

ALL FOR NOW BYE👋👋👋👋