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He was my best friend.
I don't understand why.
Why?
Why is he gone?
He is...was so young. Only 20 years old. His birthday is this month on the 28th and he will never have that beer he'd been excited to buy himself and drink. He's always been such a good kid, so innocent. He would tell me he wanted to go crazy for the first time in his life on his 21st birthday and he won't ever have that moment. I will never see his adorable baby face. I will never see his huge smile. I will never play with his curly hair. I will never see him running around my house like a little kid. He was the type of person that can light up a room instantly. He could make you smile on your darkest hour. He was like my little brother.
Now he's gone and there's nothing I can do. I can't hear his voice. I can't ever hear his singing voice again. We used to be the four of us and now there's three and it’s not the same. We don't laugh as loud anymore. We don't smile as bright. Something's missing with us.
I didn't want to go to his funeral because I was afraid it would make it real but I went anyway, for him. For his family and for our friends. I wanted to be strong and I couldn't. After the burial I practically ran to my car. I just sat and cried. I couldn't do anything else. I then heard two of my car doors open. It was the other two. We all sat in my car, sobbing. We held each other in the backseat. The three of us were devastated. We all miss him. I'm sad I'll never be able to tell him all the things I should have told him.
I love and miss my not so little, little brother.
Love,
Your forever sister