Tyler Durden - Blog Posts

Dating Tyler Durden Would Include...

As requested by: @hyuugasmary

Just some headcannons for dating the world's most chaotic character!

⚠️ Warnings: mentions of death, sexual innuendos⚠️

Tyler Durden is a man who is very in-tune with his feelings. He doesn't deny himself the simpler pleasures of existence and knows where his priorities lie. Therefore, when he figured out he had the hots for you and realized your intellect was something he clicked with, he made you his.

Part of me thinks he was slightly forceful about it. If you had denied his request when he first popped the question, he would've done everything in his power to show you that he could be the person you needed. For example, if you're someone who cares more for physicality in a relationship, he would allow you to watch him kick ass in Fight Club. If you're someone who cares more for personality and intuition, he would focus more on showing you just how intelligent he could be. Either way, he has both looks and smarts so you'd be getting both in the end.

If you had said yes without any hesitation, he would've admired your eagerness and would show it back to you in abundance.

So now, how would you fit into your boyfriend's overarching hatred of the patriarchy and his plans for mass destruction? Simple. You would just be there to offer him support through his ideology and provide him with affection while he makes nitroglycerin. He loves your imagination and your intensity when it comes to arson and sex.

Fight Club is no different; you appreciate the way Lou's Tavern quickly becomes a safe haven for you and the boys, all of whom treat you with utmost respect. I mean, they have to considering the fact that you're their leader's love interest. They allow you to watch from outside of the circle to engage you in the activity, but will never allow you to fight since they know Tyler wouldn't allow a single scratch on your body....unless it came from him.

Tyler wants someone to be on his level of bad-assery. Sure, he wants to protect you and keep you safe but he lets you start any fight or argument just as long as he was right by your side to finish it for you. He wants someone with an internal flame and a passion for watching the world burn.

While you're staying with him on Paper Street in the early days of Project Mayhem, the Space Monkeys instantly refer to you as Second in Command. If you identify as female, you're usually met with "Mrs. Durden" whereas if you identify as a male or somewhere in between, you're met with "Mr. Durden #2."

Tyler lets you harass the newcomers on the porch saying that "you'd teach them a better lesson than I could since they'd be staring at you anyways." But still offers to beat anyone up if they glance at you in a suggestive way.

Nights with Tyler are spent hunched over pots of the latest soap mix; gagging at the smell of the liposuction bags as you pull them out from the fridge. Tyler plays his music which is something with a sharper edge to it since he is very much into the punk genre, but I also have a feeling he would also play a lot of Depeche Mode.

On the nights where he didn't desire to blow things up in the morning, he would stay with you in his room, wrapping you up in his arms and playing with your hair while you fell asleep. He would never be cold to you but he would spend a lot of time on his "homework assignments" and phoning in on the other clubs set up in different states. He would tell you what was on his mind as he thought of it, but the nights where he felt really comfortable, he would let his anxieties and insecurities show just a little bit more than usual since he trusts you not to judge him. Which you don't.

During the day, you would usually watch him in the basement of Lou's Tavern as he prepared for another club session later that evening. You would also tag along with him when he worked in the theatre while he spliced single frames of pornography into family films. You usually picked out the lewd images since the two of you would crack up when kids started to cry.

Bonus!

Patching up Tyler's wounds after an intense session of Fight Club, scolding him for going too hard and overexerting himself.

Wearing Tyler's infamous coffee mug printed robe in the mornings.

Dancing with Tyler to no music in corridors of fully populated buildings for absolutely no reason other than self amusement.

Calling your boyfriend Mr. Durden once on accident since it's all you heard on a daily basis and him laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.

Both of you hating pet names but you call each other "babe." He will occasionally call you "love" but only in the bedroom or times where there's no one else around. It's not that he's embarrassed, he just likes the exclusivity.

Having him tell you about his scars while you trace over them on his bare skin, admiring every inch of the beautiful man before you.

One time you got into a fight with Angel Face (Jared Leto's character) and he pushed you. Tyler beat his face in so hard that the blonde had to use his $300 of personal burial money a bit sooner than he anticipated.

Tyler will teach his "life lessons" when you're around but he would never dream of putting you in danger. His near-life experiences are only for the times he knows you're sound asleep safe at home in his bedroom.

Tyler is just a little bit more cautious about how much trouble he really gets into, knowing that he can't die when he has you to come back to every night.

And last but not least...

Tyler wears your clothes. You saw how he dressed in the movie with his Goodwill attire? Yeah. He doesn't care much for fashion or practicality so he will 100% walk to his job as a banquet waiter in your cutoff pink shirt with a shrimp on it.

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting! I had a lot of fun with this one! >:)

💛🦐

It's Hot To Punch a Blonde Guy in A Bar

Tyler Durden X Reader

⚠️ Warnings: Swearing, sexual innuendos, light nsfw, blood, use of drugs, reader is put in an uncomfortable position ⚠️

"Tyler?" You called from across the bar, wondering where on earth he went. He had ordered something and left you there to make it for him, walking away from it entirely so he could continue with whatever else was occupying him. With the cold drink in your hand, you glanced over both shoulders and wondered if maybe he ended up in the basement again. Where Tyler Durden was in Lou's Tavern was always a mystery. However; as you moved to set the drink back down, a familiar voice appeared from your left.

"Thanks." With this simple short and curt response, he took the glass from the bar and sat down haphazardly on the leather upholstered stools. Dark maroon jacket and contrasting bright blue shirt with palm trees, Tyler was really a sight to behold as he removed the large red frames from his face and put out his cigarette on the counter. You had told him numerous times to just take it outside, but he was Tyler Durden and if he wanted to do something, he did it.

Brushing away a couple strands of hair from the sides of your cheeks, you tried to force a smile on your face as you went to clean up the cigarette ash. He never made your job easy. Always leaving cigarette ash on the counter and a fight in his wake, you've just learned not to argue with him and go about your job.

Picking up another glass from the back, you move to serve the man directly to his right. This stranger had bright blonde hair- too bright- and a set of blue eyes to match. With an ugly black eye and fresh blood atop his lips, he went to grab your wrist to keep you there after you had handed him his order. This wasn't entirely out of the usual, this bar was dingy and gross and full of men who were even more disgusting. You considered it a good week when you didn't get sexualized for just breathing.

"Take your hand off me." You said in a firm but polite tone. If he tried anything stupid, you would kick him into next week.

Sighing, he moved the beer slightly away from him as he stared you up and down, taking in the sight before him and reveling in it. He seemed to like the fact that you were visibly uncomfortable and so he continued with his antics.

"Relax, Girlie. What do you say we get out of here?" He smiled and you could see that he was missing about four teeth.

"I have a better idea. Fuck off before I stab you in the face." He removed his grip from you and held up his hands in defeat.

"Woaahhhhh girlie is fiesty-"

Sometime between when he first opened his mouth and his lame gesture, you popped him right in the jaw, sending him tumbling backwards off his stool and onto the ground. There was a commotion now, the men at the bar looking at the blonde bitch as he held his face in his hands. All except for Tyler Durden, who stared directly at you with a half smile. He wouldn't admit it to himself right away but that was sexy as hell. Or, at least he thought so.

"You cunt." This kid spat out the name at you before trying to get up and steady himself against the counter. When his face came into view, you could see that his jaw was dislocated and blood was pouring out down the side of his mouth. You mentally high-fived yourself for breaking his face.

"Aww, want girlie to get you a band-aid?" You said in a mocking tone. This kid really pissed you off.

"Well I ought to-" he jumps up over the counter and reaches straight for your throat as you dodge away in the nick of time. The blonde boy throws himself into the cabinet of glasses and breaks a few of the ones in the very front. You steady yourself for a fight but you feel a hand on your shoulder and smell the familiar aroma of homemade soap and rust. Tyler held you back with a smile.

"I can take care of this one from here, thanks for warming him up for me."

Tyler crouched down to the man's level and held his face up by his ugly ass hair. The man now sported a couple fresh cuts, none of which were too serious except for the one above his eyebrow. That would need stitches.

"I'll have you know that you tried to hit my girl, Angel Face." Tyler stated as he banged the stranger's head against the floor once again and knocked a couple of teeth out. "This girl right here isn't in fucking Fight Club you sadistic fuck." Once again the stranger loses a couple more teeth.

Pound after pound and slap after slap, Tyler has to stop himself before things became too messy. Floor tiles were starting to pop up, for Christs sake. Blood ran through the lines in-between the tiles creating pretty red patterns in contrast against the green of the room. The man that Tyler referred to as Angel Face now had two black eyes and a deep gash by his forehead. Glass stuck out from spots in his hands as be gasped for air, blood bubbling up in his throat and involuntarily being spat out.

"Hey, let's get out of here before some human butt wipe decides to call the authorities." Lighting another cigarette, your boyfriend had the largest grin on his face. Even with the specks of the stranger's blood, you thought he looked hot as hell.

"Sounds like a plan." You said, and grabbed your purse from behind the bar. "Irvine, I'm clocking out early!"

With an arm around your waist, Tyler escorted you off the premises and towards the familiar house on Paper Street; puddles lined up against the sidewalk and broken bottles littering the grass. Thankfully the walk from Lou's wasn't too far and in no time, you found yourself within the confines of the wooden house with the horribly printed wallpaper. Kicking off your shoes and leaving them in the walkway to mess with Tyler, you go to grab the coffee cup printed robe that he wore so often from the back of the couch in the living room. It was getting colder as the seasons changed and you knew that it would be another difficult year of not being able to afford heat.

"So... About this Fight Club you mentioned earlier...?" You started, trying to make conversation. You had briefly heard whispers of the other guys talking about some club that took place in the basement of where you worked, but whenever you had asked, the men stated that they were sworn to secrecy.

"First rule, babe. Can't talk about it." You heard his voice from the kitchen along with the clattering of pots and pans. It was 12:17am, why the fuck was he making soap this early?

"Not even with me?" You walked into the kitchen and leant against the island in the middle of the room; surrounded by haphazardly placed cupboards and exposed wires from the ceiling. There was the smell of vinegar in the air and the stove kicked on, emitting a slight amount of heat on Tyler's side of the room.

"Nope. Although I might be inclined to share a few details about my daily habits if you let me have my robe back." He said with his back to you, busying himself with mixing the soap around with a spoon.

"What if you tell me everything instead? I deserve to know, I think." You said, lighting a cigarette from one of the boxes on the table.

"That's hardly a deal."

"I'll give you your robe back."

"It's mine anyways."

"I'll let you fuck me again."

Tyler put down the spoon and seriously contemplated your offer. His hair was sticking up in every direction and he still had yet to wipe the blood off his face from the catastrophe earlier.

"Before you go to work tomorrow?" He asked, raising his eyebrows in a ridiculous suggestive manner.

"Yes. Scout's honor."

Tyler turned the stove off and placed the contents of the bowl in the fridge. You never dared to open that fridge since you were sure you would find body parts or blood bags or some other weird shit in there. That's how you and Tyler thrived. He did murderous shit, you didn't pry. He gave you love and cared about you, you stayed out of his business.

Turning around, he places both his arms on the island directly across from you. His jacket had been cast aside so his short sleeved T-shirt allowed for a great view of the veins in his arms and hands. Sweat beaded slightly on his forehead and he licked his lips in anticipation.

"Fight Club. It's a place where the real heroes of society earn their praise for their dedication to life and the downfall of capitalism," he smirks and rubs your hand on the counter, "No girls allowed."

"Why not? I'm sure I could kick your ass. You saw me beat up that douchebag today." You said, with a glare directed towards Tyler's comment.

"See, there's a difference. Most of the guys get pleasure out of fighting each other because it lets loose some of their anger. For me, if you were to kick my ass that is, I would find it pleasurable purely because you're sexy and I love you."

You sighed with a slight smile to let him know you weren't angry. "You're impossible."

"Impossibly handsome?"

"Go back to making soap or some shit," you joked.

"I have a better idea." He scooped you up into his arms and pressed you against the wall, locking you in between his body and the structure of the house. He gave you one last look in the eyes before he went to work on kissing you softly at first, and then getting more and more rough and sloppy. Fingers intertwined in his hair, you kissed him back feverishly.

His hand then went to make a move against the side of your thigh, tapping alongside it with his fingers in a drumming motion as he continued to kiss you with an intense passion. You thought it was cute and waited for him to change his directory towards something more R rated and leave the PG-13 in the dust. Just as you had silently hoped, his hand moved up to the hem of your shirt, slowly rubbing circles on your side and making his way up slowly. Tyler liked to take his time with these things, you noticed. It was because of some poetic thingy probably; about how the world was caving in and we're all dying but we can take things slow sometimes and enjoy the moment.

"I thought you wanted it before I had to leave for work?" You asked with a knowing tone. Your boyfriend was such a wimp about these things.

"We can always stay up all night...." He stated in between kisses. He pulled away for a moment to look at you and your current position against the wall, taking in the sight before him. He didn't see a lot of beauty in the world, but you definitely held the most of it.

"We can't do that, remember what happened last time?"

Tyler stopped his motions and thought back to the time he had gotten a little too crazy from the exhaustion and the sex that he threw the furniture from one of the upstairs bedrooms out the window to make room for some of the weird shit he wanted to try. The desk drawers and the chairs as well as all the old magazines were still outside on the ground, spewed about in disfunctional chaos outside the second story window.

"Fine, then I'll wait until tomorrow." He said, taking the robe from you and slipping it on, walking upstairs.

"You bitch, Tyler! You set me up!" You said with a laugh and followed him up the stairs. The smell of soap slowly leaving you as you got closer and closer to Tyler's room at the top of the stairs.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Are you gonna stay awake now?" He grinned and pulled you in close to him, opening the door with the heel of his foot and stumbling into the room with you in his arms as he made his way towards the bed. The door shut behind you and as the heavy wood made impact with the frame, a crack ran up the wall. Before you had time to register how much that would cost to get fixed, Tyler reached out and grabbed you from behind, pinning you onto the bed and leaning over you with the wildest grin on his face.

"Alright, Mr. Durden," you said as you twisted around and caught him by surprise, "I can stay up for a while." You caught his ankles and turned the two of you around so that he was now the one underneath and you were on top, straddling his waist. He took off the infamous coffee robe and threw it over the edge of the bed and watched as it hit the floor, lying back down again. His shirt was rising up, exposing the toned abdomen he had underneath, and his beautiful pale skin. His breath hitched as he watched you reach to remove the garment from his torso and then up above his chest and shoulders, removing it entirely from his frame. Your eyes practically drank in the image of him lying there shirtless and gorgeous as ever. The scars that littered his body glimmered under the soft glow of the candles used to light the house after dark (courtesy of no one ever paying the electrical bills). Your fingers went to trace over some of them, Tyler watching you with complete and utter admiration as you became lost in thought.

"Hey, everything okay?" He asked, watching how quickly your mood changed.

You smiled. "Everything is perfect, you're perfect."

Any anxiousness of his went away with your confirmation of his appearance.

"My scars?" He asked.

"Especially your scars. You're beautiful, Tyler."

This last sentence barely left your mouth before Tyler was lost in your kiss again, this time with more love than lust like before.

"Well," he said, "I don't want to die without any scars."

"Mission accomplished." You giggled and drew him in once more.

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(A/N: I thought this concept of beating Jared Leto's character up and having Tyler think it was cute was something I desperately needed to write into a fanfiction. That was all it was going to be originally, until I read a Cliff Booth fic by @darling-i-read-it and fell in love with their writing towards Cliff's scars. The reader takes her time to go over each one in their story; making sure he feels loved and handsome as she talks about his past. I wanted to do something similar with the reader in my story as the reader is very in love with Tyler Durden. Thank you for inspiring my writing! You're truly one of my favorite creators on this app!!)

You can read their fanfiction here.

Silly Problematic with insomnia 🫶