Victim Blaming - Blog Posts

When I was in highschool, the “weird kid” was a guy who thought he was a vampire werewolf hybrid. He was aggressive and hostile, and the people who tried to be nice to him,(myself included) saw first hand how psychotic he was. He choked one of my friends, tried to attack a girl I hung out with, ran around campus snarling at people and jumping off roofs, and constantly got into fights with anyone who so much as talked back to him.

Saying that the victims from Parkland shooting are at fault because they didn’t befriend the shooter is incredibly short sided and a perfect example of victim blaming. Sometimes the weird kid is toxic and violent, or racist and homophobic. Nobody should have to be forced or guilted into bringing that type of toxicity into their lives.

Also, please don’t pretend that you really care about the weird kid all of a sudden. We all can see that you are trying whatever bs tactic you can think of to distract from the bigger issue at hand; gun violence and gun control in America.

STOP BLAMING THE VICTIMS AND STOP TRYING TO BULLY KIDS INTO SILENCE!

Exactly. The amount of vitriol and victim blaming political lesbians lob at bi women is disgusting. Then they falsely claim we’re the one’s holding back feminism.  

some of the people on here aren’t even trying to hide how much they hate bi women anymore and it really shows.

TW: Rape, Victim-Blaming

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I've seen a lot of things going around about how people should go to prison for claiming rape and then saying it didn't happen. Reminder that victims are often coerced into "taking it back." In the many cases in which the victim knew their rapist, they are often guilted into saying it didn't really happen. Even without such overt pressure, victims will sometimes say it didn't happen simply because of how much they wish it didn't really happen, and how much they wish they didn't have to deal with the fallout. The psychological trauma that can follow denying your own sexual assault is tremendous. Don't make it worse for closeted victims by calling for prison sentencing.

[Image description: four slides with black text on a light blue background that read as follows: 

Victim blaming by abusive parents looks like… “You’re disrespecting me by having boundaries that are inconvenient to me. Therefore, I’m entitled to hurt you.” “You know I get mad when you do this and you did it anyway, so it’s your fault I hit you/yelled at you/belittled you.” “You’re hurting my feelings by accusing me of being a bad parent.” “What have I done to deserve this?” (Usually as a reaction to you establishing boundaries). “You’re tearing this family apart (by fighting back against the abuse).” “You’re a bad child. Look at all the bad things YOU’VE done to ME.” (often, those things are trauma reactions, like avoiding their presence or acting behind their backs). (When you try to hold them accountable) “Oh, I forgot, you’re always right and I’m always wrong. Nobody cares about me or my feelings. I do everything for you and this is what I get in exchange.”

In reality… Every person is responsible for their actions. You didn’t make them abuse you—they CHOSE to abuse you. You have the right to be able to establish boundaries without fear of punishment. You have the right to have your needs met. Your trauma reactions are not something you’re doing to disrespect them—they’re something your body is doing to protect you from harm. End image description] 

These are just some examples of things abusers say to frame their abusive actions as the victim’s fault (taken from personal experience and the stories of people who have messaged me). Feel free to add your own examples if they’re not listed here and if you want to help spread awareness about what victim-blaming looks like!

And remember: abuse is never the victim’s fault.

What does guilt-tripping by abusive parents look like?

What does gaslighting by abusive parents look like?

whumper using victim blaming dialogue as a humiliation tactic—

“well I wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t make it so fucking easy.”

“if you weren’t so pretty when you begged and cried.”

“if you didn’t take abuse so well.”

“I just hit you and you whine like that— I mean, what am I supposed to think?”

“you know you deserve this.”

“go on, tell me you deserve it.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

and who knows— eventually, whumpee might start to believe they’re right

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[shoutout to @unorganisedalienrubbish for coming up with like half of these]