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he tian when mo comes into view: i'm dead. i think i'm dead! oh! time's going by really, really, really slow and my heart's beating backwards!
zhan zheng xi: ...
zhan zheng xi: what makes you think your heart's beating backwards?
he tian: well, normally it goes “goop boop” and and now it's going “boop gooooop, boop goooooooooooop”!
jian yi: xixi! he's really dying!!
zhan zheng xi: *disappointed silence*
operator: 911 what's your emergency?
jian yi: hey man, yeah, see i'm cooking something here. i was wondering how much trouble you could get in for uh, meth.
operator: and you called the police to ask how. illegal the meth is?
jian yi: well yeah, i figured if anyone would know, it'd be you guys?
operator: *types on keyboard*
operator: is that jian yi of *address*
jian yi: no, uh... jian yi is not here right now can i take a message?
operator: the police are on their way, jian yi.
jian yi: aw, shit, nuts, i mean, yeah that's fine, cause nothing's wrong here, exept me cooking some meth, aw double nuts i sad it again.
operator: see you soon, jian yi.
jian yi: alright, it was great talking to you.
operator: it was great talking to you too.
jian yi, a 24 year old grown man: xixi... don't you think it's sad that poor lonely zebras can't sleep on their own? it's like... soo unfair.
zhan zheng xi: jian yi, my love, it is really sad, yeah, but could you please think about it later instead of when we're fucking?