Literally Who Does The Devil Think He Is? He Fell From Heaven After FAILING To Overthrow God, Was Sent

Just woke up thinking about this and I need tumblr to be my therapist for a second because I just need to explain my thoughts.

When I first watched BSD (Bungo Stray Dogs), I was ok with Ranpo. I didn't like nor dislike him until I saw his backstory. The story that made most fans cry made me feel so...unsettled. It was like looking in a mirror and it scared me.

I never believed in kinning before him. Relating to an anime character? A BSD one at that? I feel like people are just projecting because it's their favorite character. Those were my thoughts. But then I met Ranpo.

I understood him. I felt what that felt like when I saw his backstory. I felt like part of me was on the screen. For the first time ever, I felt truly related to someone on the screen. It scared me a lot. I kinned a person. RANPO AT THAT.

Actually seeing a part of me I activley try to ignore and deny was a slap to the face for me. It scared me. So for a while, I avoided him. I avoided media or fan content with him in it. Of course, he's in the show, so I can't avoid him forever though. I didn't like him because he scared me.

My entire life I felt like I couldn't connect with people. Not as in I couldn't be friends with anyone, though, that is also true. I didn't understand anyone around me. To me, I was a human. I was sentient, capable of complex thoughts, and I was able to lie and "control the 'people' around me". Looking back, that was a stupid sentiment.

I was human and everyone around me was an npc. That was pretty scary for me. I didn't understand the difference between us as a child. Though I knew that everyone around me was something other than me, I only saw me and them. And if I just said a simple hello, it could become us. I miss that.

When I met Ranpo on screen, it was the moment he said it was like they were all monsters that scared me. There was something he didn't have. Something he didn't understand. That's what he thought, but in reality, it's that he's the one who has something that everyone else doesn't.

For me, it truly was just something I didn't have. And for my whole life, I've been trying to figure it out. What makes them different from me? It didn't make any sense. Everyone understood something that I didn't. Everyone had this "rule" to being a human being that I didn't know about. And that was scary.

Dazai was a bit different for me. I loved him from day -30. Literally. I watched complimations of him being stupid months before I watched the show. Years even. I didn't kin him at all and he was just a silly but complicated guy for me. But then I noticed something after realizing I kinned Ranpo.

My whole life I felt that I was the only human and everyone around me was an npc. But really, it was more that everyone around me was a human and I was...something else. I didn't know what. But it wasn't human. I mean, obviously I am physically and in every scientific way, human, but there's something missing, y'know?

Thinking about it makes me feel so cringe but I really can't explain it any other way.

I don't consider myself a Dazai kinnie because even I can't completely understand the reason he thinks himself not human. I just related a small bit to the sentiment.

So as a um...thing hiding itself as a human, I felt exposed when I was confronted with Ranpo. I eventually came to terms with it and now I like Ranpo. Though he still unsettles me because of the similarity.

So yeah. That was my vent. :)

I think I went insane. I...I must be. I made a seperate account last night to post art on, to make this channel consistant with the gospel...and I posted on it. I know I did. But now it' like it never existed. I can't find the art, or my account. The account comes off as unregistered and I'm tweaking. Did I go mental and dream me doing that? No, I couldn't have. I specifically remember being interupted while choosing what art to post when I was forced to buy groceries by my Dad....This is like a murder mystery case and I'm oddly intruiged and mildly annoyed.

God allows trials and tribulations. He allows bad deeds and horrible sin. He didn't stop that girl from being assulted, or that child from being kidnapped, or that bullet from entering someone's skull. He let it happen. But you have to remember he has a reason. He always has a reason. Even if we don't know it ourselves. Job was tried, and while many say it was to test and prove his faith, could there have been more to it? Something bigger and greater? Job taught us how to react in the face of uncertainty, doubt, and suffering. Through his pain, we have had years of our own suffering lifted from us. Just like Job, our suffering may not look like it has a reason and honestly, sometimes the reason isn't to teach a lesson at all, sometimes, it's something else, but it always has a reason. Our suffering may not be written in a historical holy book, and thank God for that cuz that would probably have to be like holocaust level to get into a historical document, but we can still use it to teach our friends, our family, and people we haven't even met yet. Job taught his wife to stay strong, his friends to be humble, and all of us, generations of people, that God has the answers and we don't ever need to doubt that. So stay strong guys. And know it has a purpose.

God doesn't send people to hell. God is like light and hell is like darkness. Darkness is nothing but the absence of light, and hell is just the absence of God. When you refuse to accept God into your life and accept His promises and gifts, then you choose to be seperate from Him. Hell is a seperation from God. It wasn't even meant for you, it was meant for the devil and his followers, the ones who dared cross God and attempt to bring His children with them. So, He doesn't send you there, you send yourself by not choosing life.

Ok wait am I stupid?

Ok so I just had a dumb question pop into my mind out of nowhere. I randomly just figured this out and I NEED someone to explain to me.

So, Dazai met chuuya when they were 15, which is why it's called the 15 manga and ark. So, if they were 15 back then and they're 22 now, doing subtraction, it's been 7 years since they met, right? Ok that adds up, because they always mention how their partnership has gone on for said many years. HOWEVER, Dazai left the port mafia 4 years ago and was in hiding the whole time. Subtract 4 from 7 and, correct me if I'm being dumb, but that leaves 3. They've been partners for 3 years. Not 7. Not 6. But 3. Have I been lied to or am I overthinking this? I NEED ANSWERS PLEASE

The tragedy of Dickle

Just read my daily trash of counts family novel and omg. I thought I've seen it all. When thinking about the question "what is the worst thing a parent can do to their child", people, including me usually think of murder, any and all abuse, and abandonment. No. I found something SO much worse in this novel and I am just so apalled. This couple named their son DICKLE. YES. DICKLE. IT RHYMES WITH TICKLE AND PICKLE TOO. Honestly, murder looks like a fafor in comparison bro, aint no way.

Morale of the story: DON'T NAME YOUR CHILDREN DICKLE PLEASE. I know some of yall wanna be unique and name them weird things or after anime characters but please. Do. Not. Name. Them. DICKLE.

No, I Do Not Hate People and No I am Not Judging Them

God is my Icon. I aspire to be like him in all I can. That means I dislike sin. That means I am a disagreeable person. That means I express my faith even when I know you don't believe the same thing. But that also means that I love sinners. That also means that I must be humble. That also means that I do not judge. That also means that I love my enemies like myself. And I love myself very much. So no, just because I don't agree with you, doesn't mean I hate or even dislike you. Jesus' favorite people are sinners. And it's not like I havs no sins, so I have no room to judge you. When I point out a sin that offends, I'm not doing it to judge you, in fact, 9/10 I am guilty of the same sin at one point or another. I've lied, cheated, lusted, cursed, liked my own gender, ignored God, been quick to anger, been lazy, still am and I need to fix that, been a glutton, still am and need to fix that too but thank The Lord for high metabolism, disobeyed, been disrespectful, etc, just like the rest of you. So I don't look at an athiest, or a witch, or lgbtq+, or a satanist, or literally anyone and hate or judge them. I look at them, say wow, a person just like me who just hasn't found God for themselves yet. I pray one day they give their life to God, oh cool, they have pretty hair.

Just spreading the love man. If you take it as hate, I'm sorry, but I'm not changing anytime soon, soooo want some popcorn?

So with that said, I will repeat my main point cuz nobody read that I'm sure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

▪︎ I am a christian and child of God

▪︎ That means I do not approve of sinful activities, no matter how harmless they seem

▪︎ I do not discriminate against unbelievers or sinniers

▪︎ I do not judge unbelievers or sinners

▪︎ I love unbelievers and sinners

▪︎ I AM a sinner (Though in God I am redeemed)

▪︎ I do not think of people any differently regardless of their beliefs

▪︎ I do not treat anybody different no matter their orientation, sexuality, hobbies, beliefs, religoun, etc

▪︎ I am not trying to offend people

▪︎ You can do whatever you want and I respect you and your freedom

▪︎ I love you

▪︎ God loves you

BSD manga spoilers

So like, hold up, am I tripping or am I having a fever dream. I never understand what's going on but I maybe maybe not caught onto something in the newest chapter. When Fyoder was stabby stabbyed by the guard dude, his blood got on him and he got weird. And idk if I'm just stupid, but that reminded me of Kyouka's parents immediently. There was a dude who came in and when their blood got on the parents, they also got weird. I don't think it's the same cuz I don't trust myself and also cuz it doesn't explain how Fyoder kept his former appearance. Clearly he's different cuz he used to have a scar on his cheek when Sigma saw his memories but now that scar is gone. Also, he died in the memory, so, like...whaaat? So, I ain't too sure how he got another body identical to himself. Also, that reminds me of dead apple when his ability took form differently than the others. Perhaps he wasn't entirely lying to sigma about his ability. Unlike eveyone else's ability, none of them were really sentient. They just attack blankly, meanwhile, Fyoder's ability can talk and think like he was a person. It also wasn't attacking him. This makes me think multiple things that I'm too dumb to really get into.

#bsd #Fyoder #bungou stray dogs #ch 114 #chapter 114

Me waking up this morning litterally bound to my bed b3cause of crippiling neck cramps and stiffness, resulting in ugly sobs, desperate screams, and frantic praying. Literally was so bad I couldn't face forward. Like I physically could not even put my head at a 3/4ths angle before I was subdued by overwhelming pain that even after going back to the position in which I was bound, would contiune to burn as if I had bitten into a battery. But with my neck.

Also me when I sleep:

Funny thing about this is I started praying and thanking God and then I was just like HAHAHAHAHAAHA JOKES ON YOU DEMON, PAIN ONLY BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO THE LORD. NOT TODAY SATAN while ugly sobbing and clutching my neck :>

Love

God died for your love, not your validation. God loved the world so much so that He died for it. He died to free us of our sin, the choices we thought we wanted to make, but in reality were only hurting us. That is love. And love is not validation.

Love isn't blindlessly validating, it's picky, and particular, and restricting. Because it doesn't want you to settle with whatever you think you want, but for you to have what you need. So love isn't letting you pick out a moldy apple, when there's a fresh feast just in the oven. It's telling you there is better food in the oven and you don't need to eat something so revolting and unhealthy. If you still prefer the moldy apple, I can't force it out your hands and force the food down your throat. I can only watch as you settle for what you think you want because while love is restricting, it's not imposing. But I didn't validate your choices, I detest them. I know it's worthless to you, maybe even harmful, compared to the gifts you could be enjoying instead. I didn't see you doing something stupid and do it too to show that you're valid in your choices. I saw you do something stupid, told you it was dumb and showed you an example of better choices.

I make this mistake too. All the time. I see someone settle for so much less and I just look away. I don't tell them about the feast in the oven. I don't tell them the moldy apple is toxic. I don't tell them sin will hurt you in the end and I don't tell them about God. I just sit there. Watching. Validating. Supporting. But not loving. Because that is never loving.

I need to love better. I need to love how He loved me. And I pray that He would help me and give me the strength and courage to love. And I pray that other's would pray this for themselves also to learn how to truly love.